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No one can answer this question for you. When we die, we will know, or not. We can rely on the explanations of others but what do they really know? You will come to that place completely alone and will be utterly surprised. The power of that little voice in our heads is astonishing. To be surrounded by such beauty, such infinite potential, and to only see it all as failure because of some set of twisted expectations is really something unfortunate and unique to humans, it seems. And it happens to so many of us! You are in very good company. Generally, it seems to happen mostly to those of us who are living in quite satisfactory conditions. Rather than end your life right away, what about beginning to question the judgement of the chatterbox in your head? That one is seeing a very limited and skewed view of yourself, your potential, and the world around you. That one is very confused and to follow its guidance is foolish. It is fundamental ignorance according to Buddhists. There is a place we can find and connect with that is infinitely more supportive, clear, and accessible. Good luck to you

Not sure why “No anger” is “fake”. As long as you're not suppressing it. I think the more clear a person is, the more one is aware that anger is not really necessary in interacting with others. Usually it gets in the way (in a big way). I would even say an anger response is usually based on one’s own internal conflict of the situation.

Agreed. I have no idea what happens to someone after a death from suicide. Perhaps it is as terrible as some here have portrayed but I hope not. How cruel that someone should suffer so in this life only to suffer to an even greater degree in the next. My dad committed suicide and I always wonder why he didn´t go to New Zealand instead. He used to talk about going to New Zealand and raising sheep, and he could have done it too, why not. I hope he´s not burning in some terrible hell realm. That wouldn´t seem fair. We didn´t get along very well when I was a kid and I could tell lots of bad stories about him -- and yet he was also a good person. He was a person who did the best he knew how under difficult circumstances. My dad and others like him, people dealing with great emotional pain, deserve our compassion not our condemnation.

If nothing else, it is heartening to see how much people care. The voice of depression says that nobody gives a damn; this thread demonstrates otherwise. So many wonderful people offering wisdom and support.

I miss him also. The "messy" time was extraordinarily valuable for anyone willing to see. We have the ability to convince ourselves, and others, that we are progressing on the path. The conceptual mind is expert at convincing us that we "understand." Then something happens that smacks us in the face and shows us a glimpse of some ugly truth. Perhaps we are not quite as far along the path as we have come to believe and it can be painful and difficult to accept. That is precisely our opportunity to make some real and meaningful progress. I hope TI did just that and I send him my love, support, and best wishes.

That's a tough question. But what Everything points out is really true. Taiji is really a qigong ... But not exclusively a qigong. After practicing taiji for a number of years, I took up a qigong practice and it greatly helped my taiji. And I suppose the reverse is true ... taiji can really benefit qigong. As a general recommendation, I would suggest taiji over qigong for a couple of reasons. First, taiji is not only about developing energy, which it does very well, but also about maintaining energy connection while moving. In addition, taiji also develops your ability to sense/receive energy, as well as direct energy. It involves developing intent. These things are true iff you can find a good traditional instructor. A side affect of a good taiji class can be a social one. Many taiji groups are little communities with a family like composition. They are usually a mixed group with practitioners of different levels of ability. Cooperation and support from the group can be a very happy and health encouraging thing. Of course, I am clearly speaking from a taiji bias. So, take it with a grain of salt. That said, you are probably more likely to find a taiji group than a qigong group. Either way, it is really important to have hands on instruction to guide and correct your gongfu.

I think you jump to extremes at the drop of a hat. That's is a little bit crazy. Especially if you do that constantly in your mind. Someone listens to a speech on wisdom.. thus.. laughing at alcoholics (just like the Buddha?? where the heck do you get these things?) .. being kind is extinguishing yourself?? If they catch you you're crucified?? Wow!! Do you live by your exaggerations? Sorry for setting you off by mentioning kindness, thoughtfulness, respect.. not following the first selfish impulse are all good things. Not because you get points or are being watched, they simply make for a better life, imo. To some extent we reflect the kind of world we want to live in. Being helpful, courteous, the cliche Boy Scout ethics (dropping the homophobic one), strive for them and there are rewards. Life, while perfect is happier, pronoia. Your friends, neighbors, family.. often even strangers reflect those values back at you, it makes for better living. I suspect if you live by the paradigm mankind is filled with monkeys, zombies and horrible people. You repeat that to yourself, and write it out 8 or 9 times a day, tell it to everyone who'll listen to you; how much people suck. While one's ego may blow up, since they're a wonderkind in a world of rot, that for the most part, they will be very unhappy.

Here's what I know. Suicide hurts family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors.. horribly. It creates sadness and despair for them. It also kills off the person you could be. The one who's snapped out of depression and is happy. There are countless stories of those who've come out of hard times, depression, melancholy and found happiness and purpose or at least a reason for going on. things change and they do get better.

Was doing some tantric work with Kali today. About 30 minutes in, her form changed completely for me. I’ve been working with Kali for a couple years now, and generally perceive her (via the minds eye) one of two ways. This is now a third. A few thoughts on this. It felt like I had gone deeper than previously before with her, and she revealed a new (and more personal) image to me. I’ve found that with this new image, the connection is a lot stronger now. Just thought I’d share... I’ve found tantric practice to take on a life of its own. It may start one way, and morph and transform as we go along.

So potent that you are willing to share this. Thank you. For me, there is and always has been only one cornerstone philosophical question. Continue life or not? That's it. All other lines of questioning are predicated on the answer to this one. I've been on the verge of suicide three times. Knife in hand, ready to go. In the third experience, I was leaning against the tree I had chosen to bleed out on, knife was pressed to neck, about to plunge. Amidst the fog, the pain and the voices of ruin and apathy, the following settled in mind so very distinctly, unforcefully and plainly, it cut through the fog. one constant of life is change. what is now can not remain. all is change. Therefore it continued... why this permanent solution for a temporary experience? The voice fell silent, i put the knife away and walked home. I have no words of warning about dire consequences for the deed itself, your life is your life and none can stay your hand if you so choose. However, the impact on those who remain... good god, that is a crushing weight to bear, an acid that does not cease burning. Ruinous. Calamity. So why a permanent choice for a temporary feeling? can always do it later. Why make that permanent decision just now. There's shift in the wind... Change is the real master of life and all find release to death eventually, you'll get to have that peace. I for one, being far from perfected self crave many things... among them, is to share more words, ideas and time with you. Connection is the meaning of my life. This above all others I cultivate am sustained and nourished by... And no matter how you play this, I will be a voice who, you can assure yourself will never blame you, despise you, nor judge you, should you choose to pass. But I will sing from my heart mournfully, how much I am with you, and how dear you shine for me through the momentary connection you offered me through your caring enough to share. I will never judge you, but I will deeply mourn you and in your passing, I will experience my own self as less. That voice led me to another insight eventually. My skin is not the barrier that separates me from all of life... it is the very bridge that connects me to all. Love and respect to you for sharing.

Yes I think this is a good point. The 10 day retreats will turn you down if you have some potential health issues. I think 10 days straight for anyone who’s not a regular meditator is a lot to handle, regardless of health issues.

If you do want to experiment with living again, one of the best things you can do is volunteer to help others. Whether it’s volunteering at a shelter, a needle exchange or a soup kitchen - it doesn’t matter. Its pointless to explain why this has an almost immediate effect in bringing vibrancy back to life. You just have to try. Find the closest volunteering opportunity near you and give them a call.

Supreme ultimate boxing or Tai Chi Chuan is a martial art. Energy work or Chi Gung is the ammunition. Tai chi chuan is how to fire the weapon. Both should be practiced together. Entry level is chi gung advanced level is Tai Chi Chaun or other internal martial arts. All of the same energetics, moving with proper body mechanics, removing the stinky chi of post heaven energy are practiced and applied with chi gung and Tai Chi. Chi Gung are short sets or single semi static postures Beginners do well with chi gung to get the right muscle memory and way of proper moving. Repetition is used to train the subconscious mind so we do not need to think about the movements then we get to the energetic level. Once we reach this level performing one movement or a short set is no longer sufficient to advance to higher levels of intuitive knowledge of chi and how to direct it.

here is the thing ; If it was a dog, and the man was hunting, he would follow any and every hint the dog gave of their ' ESP ' . One night, the possom wasnt going to let me inside ; I came home late, walked down the path and he was on the roof, over the door growling. I was " What's with you ? " and he growled more . (Mind you, we usually have a very friendly relationship - not this night ! ). Being tired , I just wanted to go to bed, so I kept going, he leaned out over the roof, more growling. " Hey Dude ! I LIVE here, back off ! " and went to walk under him and he leaned over and starts swiping at me with his claws and making a horrible racket . Only time its ever happened . " Okay... okay ! I go up the back yard and sleep in the caravan ! " - which I did . Dont know what that was about ..... - never happened before or since . ... but I was going to take his 'advise' .

For it to develop health then you would have to do it regularly, and so you should find something you would actually do and would like to do. And there are many things called qigong or taichi out there. Some just lead to health, others leads to the Tao/spirituality.

I was driving home from work one early evening when I saw the flash of a police camera. I figured it went off for exceeding the speed limit even though I knew I wasn't speeding. Just to be sure, I went around the block again, passing the same spot, driving even more slowly, and again, the camera flashed. Now I began to think this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the spot once more, but the camera again flashed! I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same result, and was now laughing in between muttering unutterables as I rolled the car past at a snail's pace. By that time, I had almost forgotten how preoccupied I was as I left work, trying to make sense of an internal audit that was taking longer than it should. Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

Trust in the value of strangers. No need to google for teachers. There is likely one right down the street. Provided the weather is decent, go ahead and walk over there when you get a break. Also check behind any trees you may pass. Do not be afraid to give a big smile and a wave to the teacher wherever you meet them. Even if it's forced. It need not go any further than that for now. Repeat this process, and the truth you seek will eventually open up. As for hell.. there's obviously no way to say with absoluteness what becomes of an individual mind that undergoes whatever form of death awaits it. But may I remind, that in the case of suicide, continuation and multiplication of suffering are guaranteed. Even if not in the experience of the individual, but by those they'd leave behind..

He he he ..... mwa ha har ! < starts polishing the bird perch >

I tend toward the depressive myself. The best way to see my life as anything but a downward trajectory is when I can shut off the mind and be fully present in the Moment. Start with where you're sitting. Is there anything out of place immediately around you? If so, straighten it up. Make it look nice. Then expand a bit. Does the carpet need vacuuming? How are the windows? For me, the trick is to do that anywhere, even if I'm somewhere else. Pick up a piece of trash off the ground. Just something, no matter how small, to do something for someone else, even if that someone is 'the world in general'. It gets us out of ourselves. This life is just a story we keep telling ourselves.

The lower dantien is the heart of the root of the tree - from there upward the energies expand. The foundation from there is less confusing and progress is much faster. "focusing on developing"? this assumes you have an idea upon what you are focusing and developing - this is a fools parade into a labyrinth - but the word alone - heart - it is like a siren calling. What could possibly go wrong? The bedrock of the LDT is in the fire and quiet - the steady earth energies and the pure energies. One is not apt to lose oneself in false love and false compassion and concocted oneness. The rest will unfold as will happen - the proud doer will thrive in focusing and developing anywhere - simply breath into the root and happen from there. A strong root will be needed for the rest to fall away - for the rest to face falseness and idealistic child's play and indulgence in ones praise of ones good intentions. The lower dantien does not have this - it is simple and yet a thousand times more powerful in healing us and dissolving our habituations than heart and head combined - it is what allows heart and head so much leeway in monkey world and the constant beatings that they subject the bodies to. Own the LDT and the path is clear and you are ready for the winds and the tides. Man/Woman stand like mountains here.

This is an article I wrote many years ago (11) during my early days of meditation. https://www.medhajournal.com/the-i-of-the-storm/ I strongly recommend for anyone who is struggling currently to persevere and do more studying of nondual texts, along with their regular meditation practice. It might help you resolve these sort of “issues” sooner.

The Bible shows us that when animals behave strangely, we should take into consideration that they may be reacting to something invisible. What do you think of this story? Have you heard or experienced other accounts of animals doing mysterious things, especially to protect their human from something unusual? Even if you don't believe in angels and other such creatures, I have another guess. Was his animal somehow picking up on subconscious cues from Balaam, who in his heart did not really want to go with these people? (The rest of the story is about the king trying to get Balaam to use his magic for military purposes.)

I just liked putting these two verses (in blue) from the New Testament side by side: "If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.” - John 20:23 It's interesting to consider that we might have an actual effect on liberating a person, versus charging them with what they've done wrong...perhaps especially if we've reached a certain level of spiritual development, or grace. These days, it seems for me, the number of people doing things which are hard to forgive has increased. Or maybe I just need to practice more loving-kindness and compassion every day. "For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." - Matthew 7:2 When we charge them with their wrongdoings, with the real effect it has on them receiving punishment from heaven...we are liable to be held to our same standard. No hypocrites!

Hey guys I've been an armchair cultivator(if there ever was such a thing ) for a couple of years now and am finally ready to stop intellectually shopping around and develop my own path. I'm signing up to share experiences, resources and learn together. My style has been to start with the subtlest teachings and then reintegrate back into the physical. I've spent the last 5 years meditating, screwing with psychedelics, studying buddhism and cross-referencing any other tradition or new age recapitulation that speaks on awakening and enlightenment. I've gotten some level of attainment in that respect having solely focused on debugging the perceptual matrix of the acquired mind but having not paid mind to grounding, moderation, integration, breaks, and self-care I find myself in the midst of a recovery from emotional and physical burnout. I've got space, emptiness and am sated from truth seeking but lack the juice and vitality to be of effective service. I'm excited to delve into a more embodiment-focused leg of my journey and hope my original intuition of vastly accelerated progress based on awakening from the get-go ends up paying off. If not then I will have much sweet advice to give from the many mistakes and wrong-turns I'll inevitably uncover on a path based in humility, transparency and authenticity. If I find my intuitions are confirmed then perhaps the new age is more formless than the more restricted forms and interpretations of the past may have anticipated and we may actually be in the midst of a global awakening on many levels. For clarity sake I think all progress is dependent on the quality of ones awareness which is naturally formless but is bound to the direction of perception it doesn't recognize as none other than itself in-form. In absence of the heavy influence of unrefined perception there is a convergence of the fantastical, radical, atemporal, acausal, infinite and eternal. A well developed foundation of a human life which can integrate these paradoxes well is our goal in order to effectively channel the limitless power we cut ourselves off from until we are ready to handle it in the midst of creation. I seem to have unlocked seamless access to the paradoxical layers of "reality" and am looking to integrate it with the practices and progressions of the gradual paths to see what happens. Rather than a point where no more need be learned I found the joy of experience itself is in the continuous learning and it appears that no matter how often reality awakens to itself its still what it is. Enlightenment is our creation-side name for the eternal and ever present. Creation dances through periods of clear reflection+recognition of that side of the coin and periods of complete disregard for its origin. When something in creation clearly reflects this a ground-reversal occurs and that portion of creation reflects that enlightenment was always the status quo and that creation always does this dance. The enlightenment is not an end because it is endless, creation continues as it does because its function is to do as it does relative to the experience of points of observation generated from the field of eternity. I find awakening to the nature of reality is becoming far more common and ridiculously more accessible than fundamentalists dare consider. I find that with easier access to this as a collective, collective development is also vastly accelerated. This will manifest as that which was said to have taken years or life times to be accessible in months, weeks or even minutes with the right pointers. I found this to be so with pointers to genuine awakening and imagine it to be so with anything else as well. I've always been a bit of a dreamer, my imagination has been vast, and sometimes I've been quite ungrounded. At the same time a portion of me has always adhered to strict reason and objectivity and I maintain a loosely held model of life drawing from just about every dimension of wisdom teachings available in the modern age founded upon an authentic devotion to the illusion of the spiritual path. I'm excited to see whether what I've expressed here is a sign of more immaturity yet to be recognized and re-integrated or the prelude to the confirmation of my life's work thusfar. Either way, I'm enjoying the way <3

I made a new video today: Tien Shan Chi Kung for Super Athletes (and martial artists) I haven't uploaded the video yet, but this is a brief description of it. As always, some of you will like the insulting parts, and other will not.

The problem with the question here is that it does not look at the depth of the options you have. Asking for "qigong or tai chi" is silly because one, what kind of Tai Chi instructors do you have around you? What is your goal--health or martial skills? Are the instructors good or just parks and recreation level for health? With qigong, what systems do you have access to now? There's a huge difference between a free YouTube video of someone doing Eight Brocades versus learning from Terry Dunn his Flying Phoenix on DVD, a local class that teaches some basics, or learning something grand like Spontaneous Five Animals from John Dolic. If you have bad Tai Chi teachers around you, but you have a couple of good online qigong options, the answer to me is go with quality, and the reverse is true as well. Too broad a question; needs more details on things to consider, beginning with some of what I have mentioned above.

I read Hancock's 'America Before' which was quite a good read. It is part ancient history, part travelogue, part rather wild theorising. What is clear is that there are anomalies in the current understanding to history of the Americas/ human history in general which need to be explained. And when they are explained the standard model of human history will probably need a major reevaluation. Things that seem clear to me at any rate so far from reading what is available: 1. Human (and def. hominid) history is a lot older than previously thought. 2. Ancient humans far from being ignorant savages were capable of sophisticated thought, trade, stone working and some form of social organisation. 3. More advanced stone working techniques seem to be universal at earlier times - followed by decline into historical period. 4. The similarities of the stone working across the world may suggest very early sea-going maritime culture. 5. The evidence for a Younger Dryas catastrophe (comet impact) seems to be growing and becoming more certain. 6. There are a number of anomalies in human history which need to be explained - e.g. Australasian DNA in Amazon tribes. 7. American history seems particularly obscured - possibly as result of catastrophic devastation. As per Atlantis as an 'advanced' civilisation - apart from tubular drills, circular saws and some kind of liquid polishing techniques in ancient stones, where is the evidence for advanced technology?

I’m sure about the fact that the practice of YJJ creates yang Qi to a high enough level to create ‘electric-like’ effects. I’ve met many practitioners able to project Yang Qi (as ‘electric’ shocks) just as Peng is reported to do - and I’ve built this sort of Yang Qi in my own body through the application of YJJ principles (though I haven’t learned to project). I don’t know what ‘small death’ means, but that seems to be more of a timing thing than a cause and effect thing. Circus tricks - YJJ and Brain and Marrow Washing (BMW) are designed to prepare one for the extremes of deep meditation... These are preparatory arts for spiritual work, and they go very deep indeed... this electric shock emission is just one side effect... strength, health, vitality and the building of extreme amounts of Qi is also a bunch of side effects - but all necessary for later work on the spiritual level. The YJJ And BMW are thought to be Buddhist in origin, but they’ve clearly been readily adopted by Daoists. YJJ forms the backbone of most classical Qi Gong and Nei Gong systems (rarely admitted)... and the BMW forms much of the later level Nei Gong and Alchemical work. The YJJ basically starts with a way of transitioning away from using the major muscles as the primary ‘engine’ of movement - and instead moving to using the ‘tendons and sinews’... or rather several different layers of fascia-like tissue as well as strands of ‘deep muscle’... These tissues are able to conduct Qi (and later actually build Qi) while the majors muscles cannot. This work takes a long time... many years. It’s very uncomfortable, painful and difficult. It’s literally like bodybuilding - but building something very different to the muscles. You must have the correct methods otherwise it’s just stretching and breathing Once the YJJ body (or Qigong body as I normally call it) is built, your channels are largely clear (and in many cases fused together) - your muscles are soft and relaxed, but there’s this thick steel cable-like structure of connective tissue around the bone. Steel wrapped in cotton The body looks vibrant, slightly ‘expanded’ like a baby’s (Peng in taiji) and becomes very strong (so yes taking blows and feats of strength are possible - although most of the circus acts just build these things directly (eg. calluses and ordinary muscle strength) - not through YJJ) BMW goes further and works with the bones and marrow (the brain was considered marrow) and clears blockages and then builds further Qi generation engine and storage. This moves onto the alchemical work of ‘burning the channels’ - which burns away Karmic roots in the channels.

I'm thinking of starting 3 more threads on Atlantis. I like the affect they have on Nuns.

I´m taking the course (starting today!) so I guess I´ll find out. Robert Peng says that what differentiates his form from others shown on Youtube is an emphasis on specific breathing methods. I don´t know all of the breathing (it´s the topic of week one) but part of it is reverse abdominal breathing. From reading posts in his forum, I gather there are some visualizations connected with the different organs/meridians. Personally, I´m not convinced such visualizations are always a bad thing. The "inner smile" as taught by Michael Winn involves imagining smiling energy and it seems inocuous enough. I do appreciate your point of view however: a few weeks ago you explained, quite convincingly, why it doesn´t work to imagine qi sinking. Thanks for that. I´m thinking of keeping a journal of my experience of the course in my PPD in case any other Bums might be interested in the practice.

... and here I was ( after just reading the title of this thread ) thinking it was a religious guilt complex about masturbation .

~ MAITREYA ~ If what appears to be apprehended by the senses does not exist by its very own essence apart from that which apprehends it, then what appears to be the apprehender does not self-exist either. The reason, here, is that the apprehender exists or arises as one who apprehends, only in relation to the apprehended, not in isolation. Therefore, pristine awareness is devoid of both apprehender and apprehended, in all their various forms. Free from subject and object, by its very own nature awareness is a mere indescribable luminosity.

I always chuckle at quibbling over what master's words really were and what they mean, instead of reading things borne of direct experience

"When names and forms Are put away, When all judgment ceases, What remains is called The True. It appears like a mirror In which the Infinite Is reflected. It looks back at each Who gaze upon It." "Great effort is required to see that Clear sight is not The result of effort. Overlooking what is obvious is The common obstacle. To see what has been Shining in plain view is The simple remedy." "The present moment resides Between imagination and stupor. When both are rejected, It shines like a lamp in A room with ten thousand mirrors." ~Wu Hsin

If angry, be angry but don't feed it. We can honor emotions, feel them, be human, but don't obsess. Let it pass. Don't let your thoughts be like a dog chasing its own tail. That's with the negative emotions. Positive emotions, love, beauty, respect, cheerfulness, sharing, helping, a smile.. don't obsess but be willing to go out of your way to find and appreciate them. They are all around. Don't ignore the ugliness of the world, understand them, pick a problem, roll up your sleeves and do something, however small. And know you recharge your energy with proper rest, nutrition and a bit those positive emotions. We stay sane with balance.. honoring the Middle Way.

I suggest a two-step process for dealing with strong emotions, including anger. Step one: feel what you feel. Repression is bad for the body and there´s no sense pretending to feel only "love and light" if that´s not the case. Step two: take the step back suggested by Thelerner. Just because you feel angry doesn´t mean you need to punch someone. In fact, punching someone is rarely the best option. The key is to create space between an emotion and the acting out of that emotion. A big part of being an adult is not acting out our emotions -- while still allowing ourselves to feel them.

Often its good to do better then your ordinary self. Take the time to see when potential actions are motivated by the ego(anger, selfishness), take a step back and act with a little more patience and kindness. Perhaps not in a fight, but I don't fight too often, matter of facts its pretty rare. I do have situations daily where given a little thought, I can act thoughtfully and feel better afterwards. Its why I study dharma lessons from the wise. Wisdom, kindness, respect for others and a little discipline make life run smoother. Giving in to the moments anger, impatience.. harshly judging strangers make life bumpier.. easier at the moment, but in the long run, thoughtfulness pays off big time. Is it fake? I don't think so, rather its maturity. One that increasingly becomes the ordinary self.

Never posted in any forum ever, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it though, I've been practicing qigong on and off for 15 or so years, but not properly really, recently I have come up against some issues and I want to know more from those who have a deeper experience than myself.

So you ended up in a sh.ty place with your vehicle, and got confused so much that you want to crash your vehicle delibaretely. If you crash it, you might not be imbursed a new one by the insurance co. as you were deliberate, and caused unnecessary turmoil to interdependent fellows on the road, and might get stuck in the same place, with a much inferior vehicle, or none, depending on your past records. Only way to move on is by another vehicle as you had not cultivated wisdom enough to figure out what is really happening. Only a weathered vehicle can get you out of your current scenery, so while you still have a decent one, hang on to it. Stop listening to the whining channel on your receiver and start by cleaning up, do some maintanence and get it physically fit. Happiness sprouts from physical balance, and a balanced vehicle withstands anything with a hearty laugh.

rideforever - you can sit here and pontificate, poke people who actually study the arts, or humble yourself and reach out to the people who might know and go learn from them. I recommend the last part because very few teachers will give the information you are looking for away on DVDs or online courses. The best Yiquan instructional set I've found so far is from Gerald Sharp. He includes mudras, tones, and postures for each of the 5 Elements related to Xingyiquan as they consider Yiquan to be a subset of practices within their art. What spiritual benefit you get from this will entirely depend on whether 1: you have received transmission (yes energetic transmission like reiki) for your lineage and 2: how much you actually practice. I've trained a bit of Han family Yiquan and the spiritual stuff isn't really discussed except as a possible side benefit. Until you get to a certain level (creating a vertical rolling wheel of energy in front of you) it's not of any use to discuss anything with you as you will only be confused further. I've gotten the transmission from one of Chris Matsuo's students. Before and after were like night and day in practice. After transmission my qi sensations and visualizations became much more intense.

I never went into a seminar with too much enthusiasm or high hopes. They all tend to advertise miracles and produce less. Thus I haven't gone to one in a decade or so. Yet, I don't regret the ones I've been to. If I pick up a technique or two, its worth it. Meditating with some higher level people is worth it.. soaking up some wah. Also, when the student has a totally bad time, they need to accept some of the blame for it. Teaching is a two way street. I hope the rest of the seminar, if you're still there, goes better for you. A problem I found with Healing Tao is they focused on so many techniques, when to me, going deep is better then going wide. What I'm working on these days in my meditation is 'no intention'.. a paradigm change from the past.

Watching the bird feeder: a sparrow flies down, and misjudges its landing on the polished brass bird perch, it holds on with its feet while hanging upside down as it swings back and fourth looking around for the bird seed, finding nothing but open air, in seeming disgust it does a graceful back flip and lands on the ground below.

I'd like to tell you a story and I hope you take it to heart... On February 25, 2019 I received a phone call that changed me, my life and my entire family. My sister committed suicide. It has been the most devastating loss in my 48 years on this planet. You see, from her journal I found that she felt insignificant, invisible, and helpless. She was very ill for many years and these feelings built a wall around the person we, her family and friends, thought she was. She told no one and sought no help. Even though you may not realize it I hear you screaming for help. I hear you saying you really do not want to die, that you just want what you believe will make you happy. Please try to find one thing each day to live for and to love even if it is just to see the moon one more night. I am begging you to live because you matter and you are worthy! You matter and are worthy in ways to others that you can not fathom right now! The devastation of suicide reaches far outside the circle of family and friends around you. It touches the lives of strangers, their children, their animals, their world is rocked too. Suicide is like an earthquake, only the aftershocks are felt for years not mere days. The pain is far reaching and the suffering is intense. I wrote this shortly after my sister took her life. This is a glimpse of what happens after suicide. Please talk to someone. I will listen and talk with you. I will do everything I can to keep you on this earth so that you can find some happiness and a will to live because people do love you. Please, please, please!

@alchemystical I saw your post some while back and it’s been knockin’round my head since and I’m here to make the voices stop!!! I guess what resonates with me is that - especially now - human beings are a mess (really from any angle, from where ever you’re standing), and surprisingly so. I’ve been kicking around the internal arts scene for some decades and you’d think I’d understand people enough so I wouldn’t be surprised over and over and over. And I’ve a few friends (from various orientations of serious internal looking) who are older than me and better students that I am, and *they*’re surprised. And I guess my question is, “why are we so surprised, over n’ over?”. What false presumptions about the human condition do we hold, that get knocked over time and time again by actual events? What understandings are we lacking? One presumption I’ve found in my own psychology that, “generally, people are good”. Whether true or not (and certainly it is flawed, naive and true), it doesn’t prompt much ongoing discernment as “functionality”. And god knows we’re all flawed and improving at our core levels in the areas we’re not-so-good-at: veeeerrry long term slow work. A friend of mine had a hard knocks interpretation of Buddha’s first noble truth, “life is suffering”, saying that there’s not a solution to it, that’s the fact of it, and to just be able to get through it. Books come to mind: P.D.Ouspensky’s “The Fourth Way” Any of the non-fiction books of essays by Wendell Berry. Someone here on the board, a long time back, mentioned that when they were in college deciding on a major and considering psychology vs sociology and checked out all the professors from each discipline and found that the sociologists were all depressed. Anyway, those are some rambling thoughts, relevance questionable. cheers, Trunk

Brilliant point. The condemnation we hold does hurt us, whereas the guilty party probably doesn't even notice a thing, and is just on their merry way. I just had a thought... There may be a difference between being appointed as a judge over others (literally a job as a judge...or perhaps spiritually that position exists, as well), versus simply being offended at things. A judge has a duty to make or oversee a decision, and is generally dispassionate and not personally affected. They consider the entire community's wellbeing, while at the same time being fair and not overly punishing a person for disliking who they are or what they did. Whereas being offended at things, it's not really our place to decide whether a person is innocent or guilty and what their punishment should be (that's up to God, or karma, or whatever happens to them). We are passionate and took something personally, and are personally affected in some way, and so unable to see the big picture. We're considering our own standards of conduct, which someone neglected and offended us by, rather than primarily thinking of the wellbeing of others whom we're responsible for. And we often wish the worst on people for the slightest wrongs (such as cutting us off in traffic, stopping suddenly when walking in front of us down a street without being aware of who's behind them, being rude or inconsiderate, etc). While I often consider the state of our world and society, and think of the community, when it comes to people committing wrongs...to be honest I'm often just personally offended, and not in an actual position of being a judge. Not easy is right! LOL. I'm super bad at even attempting to forgive most people I come across, much less everyone. Who can be perfect? "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - Romans 3:23 "Who is like God?" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quis_ut_Deus%3F “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” - John 8:7 But I don't think being an imperfect human is a good excuse for not attempting. Perhaps I should try harder, by setting aside time to practice. I really have had great results sometimes with the Tibetan Buddhist teachings of loving-kindness and compassion. It's often just easier to hate and condemn someone for an obvious wrong they did, than it is to practice and improve the situation, and forgive and forget the wrong.

~ BUDDHA SPEAKS ~ Mahamati: World Honored One, how did the Bodhisattvas and Mahasattvas abandon the view of an absolute arising, dwelling, or dissolving? Buddha: They abandoned it in this manner. They cognized that all phenomena are like an ephemeral illusion and dream, that they are detached from the duality of self and others, and that they are therefore unborn [emptiness.] They focused on the mind's manifestations and cognized external reality as unreal. By perceiving the unreality of phenomena, they brought about the cessation of the outflowing sensory consciousness. Because they cognized the unreality of their psychosomatic aggregates and the interacting conditions of the three planes of cosmic existence as originating from their deluded mind, they saw external and internal phenomena as devoid of any inherent nature and as transcending all concepts. Having abandoned the view of an absolute arising [of phenomena,] they realized the illusory nature and thereby attained insight into the unborn Dharma [expanse of emptiness.]

Mostly because Kar3n said so 😇 I mean I guess we could split hairs and say that if someone was actively harming others, and decided to delete themselves, would net suffering decrease over time? Or if I existed in a hypothetical karmic vacuum, and nobody would know the difference either way. But for the most part, it’s only passing the buck.

Committing suicide is just another way to keep the ego. This time you sacrifice your life so that the illusions can continue. Strange, but true. In fact most people are sacrificing their life to continue a mad dream. There is only one solution.

Its hard to say what would the actual repercussions be since its your life you are talking about here and so far you know the best how it is you are living it. Making bad choices in life gives us a bad life even if we have the same things and live in the same world as others. I guess people make these choices with awareness that they could live with them once they make them but once they realize they can't they search for new solutions. Thus we come to the death option.. But what is death? And here is the catch.. How we live our life also greatly affects how will we relate to our own death. This in itself doesn't really explain what death is and what happens in stages after it happens but its still important because the different ways of life can take you to different destinations in afterlife since they have a different approach to death momentum. In reality death is an energetic happening that happens to everyone and most people die in a way what is considered today a "regular death" an energy process which they have no control of to what is happening to them which leads to a stage process of reincarnation but since energetically most of the population isn't 100% human before incarnating back to this world as human they get to first incarnate back to the world they came from as whatever energy being they existed as and after spending a lifetime there they can incarnate back again here. The human self part that people dream about splits and travels permanently to a location to continue dreaming an unconscious dream for the time's being. This location is a dreaming version of the waking Earth world we live in which all people naturally inhabit and have access trough dreaming when asleep where they either have lucid dreams or they dream with other people dreaming bodies resolving their subconscious issues. The fake identity part that people consider themselves to be coupled with the petty internal dialogue that follows it isn't even real to begin with as such and isn't a part of our being and therefore as such just continues to plague on everyone living in this world like it already is. Since it isn't real and listening to it only creates illusions taking its advice's regarding life and death would be a bad choice since it doesn't lead to a better solution but rather to a miserable life with just more problems to deal with. This gets us back to the question is death really liberating? I would say that death itself since it is a powerful energy moment in our life touches our whole being in such a way that makes us realize what it feels like to be touched by God again and this is truly liberating but since for most people it happens in an uncontrollable manner and last for just a few seconds before the stages of reincarnations take place leading you to different worlds which are mostly worlds that everyone just wants to break free from, any other strong energetic momentum that takes you away from the mind dialogue and away from your usual self will have the same effect on you, momentum's like meditation, internal silence, lucid dreaming, energy practices, even drugs or power plant medicine. They are all good for your well being if used as such and there is always time for death it happens eventually anyway. And if you get proficient at it and face death as an energy being instead of facing it unprepared you will have to option of keeping the best of your humanity with you on your journey in the afterlife being transformed into a new kind of being, a being that is able to choose its own destination which is truly what freedom is about. This is the point where your fate transcends your purpose. Now if you want to know the abouts of the world you came back from you can find it and experience it for yourself trough consciously controlled lucid dreaming with the little help of the energy beings that live in a near by dimension which can be met trough the avenue of dreaming. This exploration will put you on a path itself. The question is will you want to live there when you see the problems of the very world you came from which the inhabitants experience coupled with a prolonged life span which can seem like long suffering instead. There are also plenty of paths that cover life and death in their own way and the very modern life of a man is also one of them, my point is that everyone is trying to live their life according to the options they know about and if we knew more we would respond accordingly whatever beliefs we have. This is just how I have been taught and why I choose Nagualism as my path since it covers all of the above I've written. If interested Carlos Castaneda covers and writes on Nagualism in his books as the teachings of Don Juan. On the personal side what I like about you is the strength you have and that can be felt behind your decisions all the way from the moment you came on this forum. I also saw that your thinking is still muddled by petty thoughts which I assume is due to being quite young and no much experience on regular work on silencing the mind. Nevertheless this strength is the reason I wrote back because there is a type of intelligence behind it that moved me and make me respond since I wouldn't otherwise, I just couldn't disregard it and be the same. Life has its ups and downs it flows like a wave and after it hits bottom it raises to its glory Wish you well.

If there are two things, what separates them? You need a third thing to separate the two.--- Zeno Does one thing exist or many? What separates one thing from the next? Where is the line?-- Zeno