Nungali

You could be 'in a rut' in your life , thats why you developed this attitude . get out and do something totally different for a while ! Find some new stimulus .

This means you are not aware of the process, thats all . This awareness needs training. It can be achieved, it just means you have not been able to do it or have not attempted to do it and perhaps do not realise it can be done. There are lots of different meditations to work with; one is seizing one of these 'spontaneously' arising thoughts and trace it back observing its formation and development. The same with 'will' ... actually, this ;tracing back' and identifying origins and examining weather they are 'yours' or have been instilled is a very important art of finding your true will ... for example, if one has a desire to enter a certain career, what spurned that desire; expectations of society / family, or your own ? Sometimes, when examining this you might have to 'peel the layers off,' . Thats a strangely negative statement. There is a lot to achieve ; the development of the self to its fullest potential for example. You can not go beyond the boundary of your fullest development , some things might NOT be able to change but how do you know, at this stage, what your fullest potential is ? It might be a lot more than you realise at this stage . Maybe your 'if ' is wrong ? Maybe there is something that can be done . Oh well ... if you never make or cannot make a mistake, I take all that stuff I wrote up there back ......... carrry on then .

start a blog then and just dictate your ideas to others , block it to comments . There ya go !

" whose purpose is to lull people into narcissistic states of forgetfulness. " + "on account of my having no need for culture forms because I'm back in my own body becoming immortal! " Good luck with that .

Platonic Big Lie servant It all started when Amin won an army boxing competition and several British officers won a lot of money on him. It was sorta like a horror story version of 'The First Lord's Song' from the Pirates of penzance When I was a lad I served a term As a violent private in a British firm; I cleaned the windows and I kept my watch, And I smashed the favourite in a boxing match I punched up that guy so successfullee, That they made me a sergeant in the Queens Armieee

There are many other options but most require 'magical' skill , developed from practice. Do you want to do that ?

There is good and bad in everything . An occultists or magician using blind faith is an idiot and is ready for a 'problem' to manifest. Your father gave you good advice . Any magical operation where a person does not know the point of any inclusion & the desired result ..... well, sheesh! Fro a 'pro' that sounds like a kid wondering what happens when he stick a fork in the power point ! My system was 'scientific illuminism', an approach that tries to use the principles of scientific experiment to study magic. When I write up a ritual it STARTS with ; AIM : ...... then METHOD ..... PREPARATIONS .... of course the idea of 'faith' in this set is pointless, actually the reason for doing it tis way is to eliminate such religions emotions as 'faith' . Then you need to seal up your energy . May I offer a Tarot card for advice in such circumstances "Power ' 4 (balanced) on the earth plane . Here is an image of how you maintain your own power. Its looking down on your caste from above, the centre is your 'sacred space' you are protected by a 4 elemental towers, a moat and a drawbridge . Dont just leave the drawbridge down, anyone can get in. Dont always leave it closed, you will become shut off and insular, stay in when you need to, venture out when appropriate .... use deep and wise consideration who for and when to open that drawbridge. 'Psychic vampires' arent the type to associate with, a victim / 'gymp' mindset mart start to form. How did they isolate you ? Its a little like a guy here that lived with his parents for years .. drove him crazy, wanted to go, but that required breaking old inertia and comforts, going it alone venturing into the unknown .... getting outs the comfort zone . Again, hard to offer advice without certain specifics .

Maybe this is a better place, other 'magical forums' I have seen ... sheeeesh ! In this specific area . I have a background in evocation and invocation, ritual magic including goetia for years on end . I also have practised many other rituals, for long periods of time- daily, including LBRP .... I sure hope you know about that ! or similar ? (edit to add ; in case you do not know Goetia is very close to what you describe above : " an invocation of a... spirit being (for want of better words). I am to be present at this summoning & will be the target of this manifestation. " but in a more sensible approach the spirit is evoked (not invoked) into the triangle outside of the operators circle of protection Here is one of my goetic setups ( I built the temple, and furnishings and made and consecrated all equipment myself ; The third picture , according to your descriptions, is the position they want you in - inside the triangle. This has been done before, but with rather bad results. Regardless of the situation and how it manifests , if you dont like it but will go into for the $$$$ or necessity then < shrug > What I didnt like about reading your post is it sorta sounds like you are resigned to this and feel its inevitable, or you are outnumbered , that makes it difficult. First you have to realise and gain control of your own power. Two ways it can be dealt with ; for beginners there is the repulsion method and for the more advanced there is the 'absorb and balance it with its opposite method , but that takes some accomplishments beforehand . It sounds complex and much more info would be needed to offer a better solution .

Dont turn up .

Mhe .... some people are xenophobes . I recently found out I am a xenophile .... that knowledge put a lot of my personal 'life's mysteries' * into perspective ! * "Why are you like that ? " 'Xotic' people, cultures, places, things out of the 'usual' .... love em ! and dont actually feel threatened by them at all .

Oh ? Really ? Damn ! I thought I had that one 'in the bag' . https://www.ranker.com/list/the-worst-crimes-committed-by-idi-amin/lyra-radford

No big deal .... Hollywood been using that programme for years now ! Tweak the plot a bit, rehash some cut scenes, stitch together, resurrect some old actors ... thats how we get such crap movies .

Thats just lesson 1 Your new so I will tell you , old members might be sick of reading it so ...

<self edit out >