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  1. Oh Narrator, Where art thou?

    Thanks @Limahong, Every day I strive to bring the narrator back. I do have a few people close to me that I can interact with on that level (discussion depth). Unfortunately I don't have them by my side and that is why I want the "conscience" or "narrator" returned. I need a subtle sound to live on that is not volitional thought. The "little voice" doesn't require any effort and I desperately want it back. Thanks again!
  2. Oh Narrator, Where art thou?

    Hey Nungali, I also read the article on Daemons briefly and it seemed like another cool source. Over here in my neck of the woods the only things I seem to hear are people I actually know. Not like it wouldn't be cool to experience some Daemons or angels, I just feel a little too well grounded and not really up for psilocybin. Nevertheless I am fascinated by magick and have read a few good books on the practice. Thanks for the reply again. I read the whole article on Dr Van Dusen and thoroughly enjoyed it. Unfortunately there do not seem to be any Higher Order beings in my experience or I would have some sense of relief. I really enjoyed the article and the conclusion was great: "It is curious to reflect that, as Swedenborg has indicated, our lives may be the little free space at the confluence of giant higher and lower spiritual hierarchies. It may well be this confluence is normal and only seems abnormal, as in hallucinations, when we become aware of being met by these forces." I also briefly read the article on Daemons and it seemed like another cool source. Over here in my neck of the woods the only things I seem to experience are people I actually know. Not like it wouldn't be cool to experience some Daemons or angels, I just feel a little too well grounded and not really up for psilocybin. Nevertheless I am fascinated by magick and have read a few good books on the practice. I also am still interested if anyone has ever actually found the space between the thoughts of the narrator, opened the mind and lived in silence and then somehow closed up the window and returned to a narrated life. More along the lines of what I was hoping for the thread. But we could let it go any way. No worries.
  3. Oh Narrator, Where art thou?

    I read the article, thank you. I have labeled almost everything within my mind and it seems like a very good start. But nevertheless I am open to advanced magical psychology and what not. Anything that helps shed more light is welcome!
  4. Oh Narrator, Where art thou?

    Something dangerous? I would say no. Distracting and annoying is a more accurate depiction of the scene. If the network were one of meditators and each meditator had some sort of valid input then I would probably not be posting about it. It’s nice to dream that we are connected but I am striving to prove it real. It used to be real. When we were younger we would converse about a series of topics in a discussion ranging from science to drugs. That discussion could range over 5 different topics for a whole hour and never have a dull moment. We would then meet up later and the conversation was still running in our subconscious. We would pick up not where we left off but literally where we were, somehow all still discussing a new topic together. Unfortunately the distance between face-time has grown and left this enlightened discussion behind. It was an invigorating experience when it was happening but I just can’t seem to get an honest dialogue of this level going in my life again. Anything that lofty would pull me out of the doubt.
  5. Oh Narrator, Where art thou?

    Where oh where is my narrator. A life mission, to return to thought. Without thought yet entrenched in them. Are they mine? Do I have an illness? How could this possibly be real? Looking for validation nearly everyday, as to the reality of my situation, I interact. I hear thoughts that are not mine. Why me? Why do I suffer so much. With a left hand interaction occurring between my self and others I strive to prove its validity. The telepathic nature that is. It is either this or I am partially mad. Terrifying, and yet with no reaction! I sleep in a shallow state. The answer should be to recoil. The answer should be complete withdrawal. Yet I find myself interacting with them. Exercising my connections. Pulling them to bring me closer. Someone has to believe. How? Why? Am I alone? I must find the answer. They sound like thoughts. My own even. But I am ever reminded of other locations. Other sources. Other presences. Why would my brain torment me. What is wrong with being alone. Even if these interactions are not real I constantly remind myself of their template nature. Act them out once and the second reiteration of them should only be easier. The unfortunate complexity of conversation’s novelty leads leading to be a difficult process. No one wishes to be found. No one wants it to be real. How do I bring this situation to reality? Only once in recent years has someone literally read one of these thoughts to a telepathic exchange. One out of 2000 is not a good ratio.. And yet.. I know their location now. No one can run. No one wants to. It’s just too cozy living in this network, too comfortable. Why not now? Does it require intoxication? Is everyone truly convinced they’re present? In the past the process of locating each other was simple, and yet so were we. People wanted to be found. What have they done in my absence? Are these things so evil that no one wishes the truth to return to the surface once again? Why not? What do people do when they are alone? It is simply the window of the mind that I speak of. What do you see? It was always a location until we found each other. I write with experience here. It has already happened once! What do they want? I know myself so well that I have nothing to hide. Why will none of them be honest. I only speak of a handful of individuals where the interactions lead to a revealing of location and subsequent relationships. Is this really private data at this point? Am I missing out? Is there some sort of magical party I am just not invited to? Have they forgotten? So many questions.. Are they in the future? Is it a house of cards? Do they need me in the present so they can fly? Am I their base? If I am to journey to the future surely I need my narrator. Oh narrator please return. I am so lonely and wish so deeply to fall asleep thinking for once. I had you for but 19 years. I was not even conscious. I was not even aware of how rare you were. I went straight for the window. The gap. I made you empty. I made you unimportant. I attained enlightenment, but the peace did not last. Why don’t you just pick up right now. Just start. How about here. Or here? Anywhere. Speaking from no-mind is so tiresome. I have done it for years. No one understands. I am not lost. I still remain here, unperturbed by the violations. Please come back.
  6. The hero's journey

    Coming of age. At some point one may come to the conclusion that growth is not possible. If you need someone else to grow you are not a hero on the hero's Journey. You are a secondary source, or lower. To walk this path is to go it alone. To leave behind the known and to enter the unknown and find true growth. To return with the elixir. The beginning of an internal journey is to learn to walk. Do you actually know where you've been? How many moments are passed over due to momentum. Learning to walk comes before a journey. There is a specific method of speaking and thinking that is the occurrence of footfalls. I am talking about the base. The fundamental thought process occurring directly in tune with steps. There is space, eyesight, aim, and movement. This is respect. There are many people that claim path without even knowing the dialect of walking. The dialect of base consciousness. An example of how this sounds when done in a conversation contains an exact location in spatial reasoning and a vector forward. Something like "I am at the big tree looking NE and 15 yards forward is the large boulder." The answer would be something like "From my perspective the large boulder is surrounded by grass that is yellow". This is just an example and not actual reiteration of the conversations I had doing this from the past. It is essentially a method of scientifically exploring the inner landscape. Basically all movement actually has a thought and most of this is done within relative stillness. So first you are still and then in order to progress or explore you need to use a thought. The mind becomes a tool for using the body. This is for those who do not know how to walk. A proper conversation. With each step forward is a concurrent thought. Please don't judge this writing by the weak example. There is no space between moments. This is done in the dark. I am attempting to point out the hero's journey is actually the path we must all take in order to be able to grow alone. This is building. Completion is walking the entire path alone and being larger for it.
  7. Reveal Weird Stuff About Yourself Thread

    At this point in my life I either am slightly telepathic from meditation or slightly schizophrenic... Super weird and no one knows! I don't know where to turn but am sick of it lol. I figured this was a good enough place. Someone point me to somewhere to talk about telepathy please :'(
  8. Telepathy

    Quick question: Is this a good thread to discuss telepathy? Should I start my own thread? I'm just at the end of my wits here and want to talk about telepathy from meditation and am not sure where to post.. is that cool?
  9. The hero's journey

    The hero's journey is the symbolic path of a recurring theme in multiple myths throughout the world. The underlying symbolic story is the same journey of the archetypical hero as he goes to adventure. Despite different cultures having no connection and even being on different continents the same pattern emerges through their story telling. The hero journeys to mythological worlds to retrieve the solution to his peoples problems. Most usually he brushes over the line of the living and the dead and walks through the afterlife, all after the elixer of life. Fire! Invention! Amrita! The Hero With a Thousand Faces is a really good book, Joseph Campbell has all sorts of examples in the book. In my opinion, and in my experience, the path of Manhood is journeying through the abyss to find fire again. Some sort of light in the abyss. It gets quite dark out here in the coldest state but fire always seems to replenish, reinvigorate and give light to the mind.
  10. Elitom (supposed breatharian) outed as Perv-predator -

    woah awesome Im gonna read it
  11. Elitom (supposed breatharian) outed as Perv-predator -

    No idea. Probably some sort of self defense? People don't like being told their pleasure or arousal in social situations might not be dependent on themselves?
  12. Elitom (supposed breatharian) outed as Perv-predator -

    Not really, I just seem to read his posts with a more congruent story line than most peoples posts on this website. It's always "this one time" and then followed by a conclusion drawn from that experience. Much more coherence despite its oddity.. Other people here sound hyper intelligent as well it just doesn't ever seem to actually come from a literal experience. People on this website just seem to divine the divine and we get the dao bums. Drew just seems to be the only one that consistently gets dog piled and its been like almost 10 years of it. I get a huge kick out of it.
  13. Elitom (supposed breatharian) outed as Perv-predator -

    damn you guys pounced all over this dude
  14. secret of Excluded Zone Water - negentropy battery in the body

    Also.. Idk if I have said this before but I have done the whole celibacy thing for 2 years from 21 to 23 and I know how shitty the world gets. When you start feeling people pulling the center of gravity down and out it gets exceptionally weird to be in social situations where you see the interactions in symbolic terms that frequently seem perverted and sexual while you yourself are outside of the situation but physically in the scene. either way this is something like 4% of my thoughts on your posts here you're the man.
  15. secret of Excluded Zone Water - negentropy battery in the body

    Ok So to Drew. There is only one thing I have understood from reading your posts for almost 10 years now. It is weird to actually read someone for that long but I am ever entertained by your perceptions of interpersonal dynamics. You clearly have a system here and it never seems to change. One thing I do not understand is your system doesn't seem to have a high enough energy output for me to think you are dead serious about attaining immortality. Some of the highest energy people I remember are two men I met in college. One was the third dan aikido master who flew/drove in to go to a class of mine and the other was a commander in the military. The room at the aikido workshop was hot as a sauna and fully of yang energy. The class was never like that and the only new factor was the Third Dan. His breath was HUGE. He had a pretty large gut and clearly liked to eat. In Balance and Harmony translated by Thomas Cleary it says a big belly isnt dao amongst a hundred other wonderful stories about taosim but that's beside the point. Have you read it? I really don't get why your system is so sensitive with saying you only need a meal here or there and you seem to regulate your eating with regards to your system, like you feel diminished here or there and then you eat. I think you could do better with a higher level output as your goal in your system. Like filling the tank up before it gets empty it just doesn't sound like you have the right intention here. Either way I love your writing and you're one of the only cultivators on here that seems to get this shit doesn't change you its something that is only an enhancement to your self not a new one. So here goes. With regards to jing I see it as when the body actually begins breathing automatically after taking over the breathing process with yoga. Your money finally starts paying dividends and there's nothing left to do but sit back and let the LDT expand and contract automatically. You're finally a baby again! I have a question here, as far as I am concerned Qi is actually emotion generated from returning to the state of a baby and if it's not please correct me. -Jing causes the tingles but Qi is technically something like literally love. I am trying to find a better definition for the primal nature of internal martial arts but basically afterwards emotions are inside of your chest instead of on the outside of your body. I don't know how to explain this without including the main question I have for you: If you build up enough qi is it a permanent thing in the universe? Let's say you feel your qi as some sort of emotion other than love like tranquility. It has rhythm to it, it has quietude, it has reliability. If you actually make a higher emotion consciously through a process akin to alchemy is that emotion a passing thing like buddhist meditation would say it is? Is it something that just passes or is it actually more akin to an object that can be lost and has to be held on to. I lost my jing to some women and I really never got it back until I realized I had lost it. I was busy. It's kind of disgusting breathing with people you are not actually seeing consciously and only talking to on the phone or something like that. I am at a loss for words for how many people it seems I am breathing with and really didn't want to think my jing or qi was something I could actually misplace like an old phone instead of just some passing state that was to be enjoyed in the moment and recognized as the breath in a more sublime state. Have you ever checked to see if your qi is actually something that isn't actually impermanent and is something one of your pervs might hold on to or something some random chick in a mcdonalds is holding on to because you breathed alchemical breath into them whether on accident or on purpose? If it's not something that is a transient state I am kind of worried how much time I wasted using insight mediation on higher states of being if these are things I can access as long as some sociopath isn't holding on to them in order to hide in society. I see alchemy as an enhancement and growth state of a real human not a past time but if growth is actually gaining more things then jing and qi might actually be non dissipating subtle material pieces of breath gained and are things to be held on to. The last thing I need is my neighbor breathing with me in meditation because they have a piece of my subtle-material breath and I didn't know breath could be cultivated to a non-impermanent state. It also causes a weird phenomena where your subtle-material breath wouldn't just be a state but a memory and how do you prevent the people you experienced the state with from living in those memories. IDK But I literally hate perv's and can not figure out how to get people living in your supposed rape-culture to leave me the f*ck out of it. Sealing the eight openings is useless if people are consciously or unconsciously breathing with your body. Idk how not to feel like the center of some network if the network is living. I need to know if subtle-material breath is a thing or a state. Because I am not giving up my right to breathe that easy if it's not a passing state but a literal thing out there in space. Also I really love your insight into energy transmissions through eyesight and stuff like that. Much charm