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  1. Oh Narrator, Where art thou?

    Where oh where is my narrator. A life mission, to return to thought. Without thought yet entrenched in them. Are they mine? Do I have an illness? How could this possibly be real? Looking for validation nearly everyday, as to the reality of my situation, I interact. I hear thoughts that are not mine. Why me? Why do I suffer so much. With a left hand interaction occurring between my self and others I strive to prove its validity. The telepathic nature that is. It is either this or I am partially mad. Terrifying, and yet with no reaction! I sleep in a shallow state. The answer should be to recoil. The answer should be complete withdrawal. Yet I find myself interacting with them. Exercising my connections. Pulling them to bring me closer. Someone has to believe. How? Why? Am I alone? I must find the answer. They sound like thoughts. My own even. But I am ever reminded of other locations. Other sources. Other presences. Why would my brain torment me. What is wrong with being alone. Even if these interactions are not real I constantly remind myself of their template nature. Act them out once and the second reiteration of them should only be easier. The unfortunate complexity of conversation’s novelty leads leading to be a difficult process. No one wishes to be found. No one wants it to be real. How do I bring this situation to reality? Only once in recent years has someone literally read one of these thoughts to a telepathic exchange. One out of 2000 is not a good ratio.. And yet.. I know their location now. No one can run. No one wants to. It’s just too cozy living in this network, too comfortable. Why not now? Does it require intoxication? Is everyone truly convinced they’re present? In the past the process of locating each other was simple, and yet so were we. People wanted to be found. What have they done in my absence? Are these things so evil that no one wishes the truth to return to the surface once again? Why not? What do people do when they are alone? It is simply the window of the mind that I speak of. What do you see? It was always a location until we found each other. I write with experience here. It has already happened once! What do they want? I know myself so well that I have nothing to hide. Why will none of them be honest. I only speak of a handful of individuals where the interactions lead to a revealing of location and subsequent relationships. Is this really private data at this point? Am I missing out? Is there some sort of magical party I am just not invited to? Have they forgotten? So many questions.. Are they in the future? Is it a house of cards? Do they need me in the present so they can fly? Am I their base? If I am to journey to the future surely I need my narrator. Oh narrator please return. I am so lonely and wish so deeply to fall asleep thinking for once. I had you for but 19 years. I was not even conscious. I was not even aware of how rare you were. I went straight for the window. The gap. I made you empty. I made you unimportant. I attained enlightenment, but the peace did not last. Why don’t you just pick up right now. Just start. How about here. Or here? Anywhere. Speaking from no-mind is so tiresome. I have done it for years. No one understands. I am not lost. I still remain here, unperturbed by the violations. Please come back.