zerostao

What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

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17 hours ago, silent thunder said:

 

 

Thanks for that.  It gave me some serious laughs.

 

But.....a spreadie on the wanker??    :lol: :D :blush: :blink:

 

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Posted (edited)

An isolation revelation.

 

Image may contain: 2 people, people sitting, possible text that says 'honey, tell me what's wrong Every "C" in Pacific Ocean is pronounced differently.'

 

 

 

Edited by Taomeow
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21 hours ago, silent thunder said:

...

 

understand me well, at some point you are either indifferent, you cry or you laugh... at a certain level of stupidity... I laugh. That's a form of self-defense, self-preservation.

 

All well considered, it is no so different of people bragging on martial skillz after all...

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Posted (edited)

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky.

They're always 20 years behind everything.---Mark Twain
 

When a mute prophet is predicting the end of the world,

that's a sign of the end times.

 

Everyone keeps making fun of me because I don’t know what the word “apocalypse” means

Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not the end of the world.

 

Steps to success:

1. Predict the end of the world.
2. Write a book about it.
3. Prophet?

 

If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise?

Edited by moment
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On a road through a desert in Arizona, a preacher named Nathaniel Evans walked every day, preaching to the many people who roared past in their cars. “Repent, the End of the World is Near!” he yelled.

One day, as he was walking, he came to a big lever in the middle of nowhere, just by the side of the road. It had a sign next to it that read, “Pull this to end the world”

Nathaniel saw this as the perfect spot for him to preach, and soon many automobiles were parked nearby. All was well, until there were so many people, and so many cars, that the road was nearly blocked. Then a big 18-wheel rig came down the highway, and couldn’t stop in time. The driver had a choice: run over Nathaniel, or run over the Lever.

As the driver later explained to the Highway Patrol, he had no choice. Pointing to the red smear on the road that used to be Nathaniel Evans, he said, “Better Nate than Lever.”

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43 minutes ago, moment said:

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky.

They're always 20 years behind everything.---Mark Twain

 

 

Ahah I knew that joke but with the local geography, maybe it's from Twain !

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On 4/1/2020 at 10:50 AM, thelerner said:

Some dark humour from Taomeow's thread-

 

"Coronavirus testing kits heading to the UK found to be contaminated with Covid-19"

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus-test-kits-contaminated-covid-19-a4403021.html

 

Ah, this game called life.  Nobody gets out alive. 

 

 

That is very darkly hysterical.  That is truly the Dao reverting to the Dao  :lol:

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Ok !

 

A man 75 Kg wants to cross a river. There is a bridge, and a warning "NO MORE THAN 100KG"

The man walks on the bridge. At the middle the bridge crushes ! WHY ???

 

 

Spoiler

because "one warned man worth two"

 

Spoiler

that's a french saying equivalent to

"forewarned is forearmed"

 

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Posted (edited)

 

Reminded me of a certain element in TDB.

 

What We Do In The Shadows - TheInternet2000.com

Edited by moment
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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, ऋषि said:

 

Whoa.. this isn't funny, but let me add-

In 1883, it shook the world. 

Edited by thelerner

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A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there beneath the pile of dung, it began to feel the spreading warmth. The heat from the dung was thawing the poor bird! It lay there all warm & contented, and soon began to sing joyfully. A passing cat heard the bird's singing, and promptly followed the sound to where the bird was. Digging frantically, the cat dislodged the bird from under the heavy pile and without hesitation, devoured the birdy. 

 

Life Lessons

1.  Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy

2.  Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend

3.  When in deep shit, its best to just keep quiet

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