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What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

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Posted (edited)

   Imagine Burning some sage

             then passing out

Because you're the negative energy

                 In the Room

Edited by thelerner
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Have you heard the one about the man who kept shouting “broccoli” and “cauliflower”? He thought he might have florets.

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On 24/06/2020 at 9:15 AM, moment said:

Have you heard the one about the man who kept shouting “broccoli” and “cauliflower”? He thought he might have florets.

 

Had a spongy feeling in my ears with a horrible yellow discharge .

 

Doc told me I was a trifle deaf .

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While I am bitchin about stuff  that ruined all the fun I used to have .....

 

' political correctness  '

 

 

Pfffffffft!

 

 

 

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Notes I put up at the local shop notice board   (but they keep taking them down   :(  ) ;

 

NEED GUITARIST  FOR A BAND .

I a forming a band and need a lead guitarist , I also need singer, bass player and drummer - I have tambourine .

 

TAMBOURINE LESSONS 

$25 and hour

 

VENTRILOQUIST CHANNELLING

I will relay to you any messages your dear departed may have  ...

while I drink a glass of water .

 

$25 REWARD !

To get rid of my cat .

 

CULT MEMBERS WANTED

No pay, bad food , sexual favours required.

 

LOST -  CORGI

 Tan coloured , short  and stumpy.  Responds to the name

' Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff Sr.

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Posted (edited)
On 6/28/2020 at 3:37 PM, Nungali said:

 

Had a spongy feeling in my ears with a horrible yellow discharge .

 

Doc told me I was a trifle deaf .

 

Hostess Twinkies are Back! Twinkie Banana Trifle:

 

  • About 3 bananas sliced
  • 4 oz. neufachetel cheese softened
  • 1 box Vanilla instant pudding family size
  • 1 1/2 cups whole milk
  • 8 oz tub of whipped topping
  • 1 box of Twinkies
Instructions
How-to make a Twinkie Banana Trifle
  1. First, create the filling by combining the instant pudding mix with whole milk. Add the neufachatel cheese and beat with a hand mixer until smooth. Fold in the whipped topping.
  2. Once your pudding mixture is ready it’s time to assemble the Twinkie Banana Trifle. First, empty all of the Hostess Twinkies out of the box and unwrap them. Place along the sides of a trifle serving bowl so that the flat bottoms face the center of the bowl.
  3. Starting with the pudding mixture, place about a third of the filling mixture into the center of the dish. Top with one sliced banana. Add another layer of pudding mixture and repeat layering process with bananas until you have reached the top. Finish the trifle by placing sliced bananas around the outside of the pudding mixture. Keep Refrigerated.:o
 
 

 

Edited by moment
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4 hours ago, silent thunder said:

Me: (after reading some news) *sigh* Wow... parts of 'Murica truly are the land of Freedumb

 

Wife: :lol:... :huh:... :(

 

That gave me a flashback to the news story I saw last week; a reporter  interviewing an American woman ; " "Yes we all should wear a mask, but we will not be at the Trump rally , becasue ..... its the Trump rally and you know what, that is one of the great things about this country and why its great to be an American  ! "

 

Even the American reporter was left standing there  with    :huh:

 

 

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Me at training today 

 

This young woman  turns up , watches a bit and  asks us what we are doing . The she says she is looking for something new to do she did kung fu /  wushu but moved  away from that area to this one .  So me and instructor start showing (off) her some stuff on each other , I go watch this and zoom in from long range to punch him , .... sliiiiiip .... skid .... splits ..... streeetch  ... owww and land on my  balls .

 

:D  

 

 

( my excuse ;  I had new shoes and the grass was wet ) .

 

 

 

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In 2008 a group of historians from the UK were commissioned to unearth the oldest joke ever written down.

The study was led by humor expert Dr Paul McDonald from the University of Wolverhampton.

 

Ancient Greece, 300-400 AD.

 

An ancient "your mom" joke, Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD.

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself."Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'

"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.

 

This one from Sumeria in 1200 BC, is a brainteaser.  --"Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load.  "The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen."So they all went."In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load."Problem: Who owns the calf?"

 

Ancient Egypt, 1600 BC.This old joke was found in the Ancient Egyptian story book known as the Westcar Papyrus

It goes:         "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?  "You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

Edited by moment
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This isn't  a humorous tome, but on page 178 of Vasistha's Yoga it says:

 

As long as the mind is swayed by thoughts of pleasure or happiness, so long is it unable to comprehend the truth. 

Hence, it is declared that he who declares 'All this is Brahman' to one who is ignorant or half-awakened, goes to hell.

 

does anyone else find that a little rude?

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1 hour ago, manitou said:

This isn't  a humorous tome, but on page 178 of Vasistha's Yoga it says:

 

As long as the mind is swayed by thoughts of pleasure or happiness, so long is it unable to comprehend the truth. 

Hence, it is declared that he who declares 'All this is Brahman' to one who is ignorant or half-awakened, goes to hell.

 

does anyone else find that a little rude?

Yeah I found the same when i read that excerpt. It's just a bit rude and random. I imagine if someone actually let it grow as a demon in their mind then it could come to be.

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2 hours ago, moment said:

In 2008 a group of historians from the UK were commissioned to unearth the oldest joke ever written down.

The study was led by humor expert Dr Paul McDonald from the University of Wolverhampton.

 

Ancient Greece, 300-400 AD.

 

An ancient "your mom" joke, Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD.

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself."Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'

"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.

 

This one from Sumeria in 1200 BC, is a brainteaser.  --"Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load.  "The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen."So they all went."In their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load."Problem: Who owns the calf?"

 

Ancient Egypt, 1600 BC.This old joke was found in the Ancient Egyptian story book known as the Westcar Papyrus

It goes:         "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?  "You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

 

 

How about some more ancient Egyptian humour ;

 

 

 

 

bb91f9c085221e7f1ef3574a6be1a8e9.jpg

 

 

tumblr_os09g1UZXv1vu27r3o1_1280.jpg

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