thelerner

Self image runs deep. Created by our families, our culture, ourselves. At 59, I'm still working on my demons. A Buddha might say- 'Show me these demons!' and when you couldn't, you'd realize in a flash, they weren't real. But we don't live in a Zen parable. So it'll take work, small successes, some failures, ultimately with perseverance you'll succeed. As johndoe2012 posted Metta meditation are a traditional way to give up anger and loathing. I like Ajahn Brahms (humorous and insightful) writings on them. Worth googling. He suggests starting the meditations focusing goodwill on friends and things you like. Waiting til that's solid before working on enemies and problems. Keeping a gratitude journal is helpful. I've found making adding a Giving section to it makes it better. Not just celebrating what you're grateful for at the end of day but also a few lines on what you've given, anyone you've helped, made smile or gave an encouraging word too.

been 3 ½ years. bump.

Daoism likes to keep things natural, the best breath is a natural breath, yet in the West unless you're a singer you're not taught to breath well. We don't know what a good breath is, thus we tend to breath high in the chest and shallow. The youtube site Breathing mantra has dozens of great 30 minute breathing rhythms. I'll play around with different ones but this one 7in-7hold-7out is a favorite for its relaxed ease. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0NORdNNI6Y&t=319s As you learn to breath in longer rhythms your natural breath becomes deeper and longer. I find breath is the connection between body and spirit. The last year I've been working on this style of breathing. One where your attention is so focused on every facet of the breath that there's little room to think. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qXu-_sHy5Q&t=445s

I consider laughter a shared, even bonding, acknowledgement of absurdity or pain.

Perhaps a practical aspect is when a problem comes up, being present, acting wisely with awareness we can solve things and it's no big deal. No attachment or drama.

I think we do better when we focus on what we pay attention to more then what is 'real' My thought, isn't 'real' but at times it can get damn annoying. My clinginess to them, particularly the negative ones is affects the quality of my life. I meditated by a lake today. Water, birds, sky, ripples, smells.. It was real and enjoyable, but does it matter? It was made better because I didn't cling to it. Philosophize it. I experienced it. Tonight I'll watch TV, is that viewing real? I like the saying 'Sacred is what you make sacred'. Real is what you connect with. Hopefully its something positive. Our relationship to something may be more important than if it's real.

Disagree. Real lasts. With time and inspection, the unreal disappears. Thus Fruit Loops along with twinkies are beacons of permanence.

I bend reality all the time, in VR. FEAR ME oh dots and dashes of light, for I have destroyed you a 1,000 times. In the tic toc world there's a fundamental practice linked to a difficult koan I'm working on inorder to reach the first jhana which promises bliss and joy centered on inner peace of being. The ideal is, in time to move beyond it but seems like a worthwhile step. As far as real, I find nouns (people, place and things) real. Whereas pronouns, verbs, adverbs seem transitory. Also, if it doesn't drive you mad, I find there's much to gain in believing competing paradigms.

This points to the joy of having kids and grandkids. It allows another chance to re-experience childhood awareness. Going to parks, rolling the ball, playing tag.. enjoying the world through the newness of their eyes.

Competition plays an important role in evolution but so does adaptation. Evolving overly competitive- too big, too strong, too.. toothy and you can't adapt when change happens and it's catastrophic. I don't think the strongest human survives, rather being clever and able to work well with others has been our key. There's a balance between the selfish (competitive) and communal (working together) that has to be balanced for a person and society to thrive. Winning and innovating are great. Hoarding supplies, stifling other's innovation is bad. So imo nothing wrong w/ healthy competition, it can bring out the best in us, but when winners start dictating that theirs is the best and only way then there's problems.

Welcome to the site, great to have people with TCM experience and esoteric studies onboard.

I never considered myself bigoted, I had gay friends in highschool but I don't think it was til my 40's and going to Burning Man events that I really got it- Acceptance and appreciation for colorful, different, eccentric.. following your own beat and being your own person. For better or worse part of my acceptance is understanding for my brethren who aren't there yet, as long as they do no harm.

I like to think of Dao (the philosophy, not the religion) as the study of nature and it's cycles. How things ebb and flow using the tools of yin and yang and the 5 elements. The Dao seems to like things simple and quiet though it has few rules. When one follows the Dao, one flows with the circumstances of life, accepting and adapting.

I started out in highschool with a very traditional Shotokan karate instructor. He kept it simple, was passionate about the art, probably taught for free in the J.C.C. We'd end sessions with our gi's covered in sweat. Made some lifetime friends there. In College did 2 years of Taekwondo. It was nearby and college sponsored. Didn't feel as connected, it felt commercial and with less heart than Shotokan. After college starting out in business my biggest problem was stress. I found Aikido, Ki-Aikido and helped me. While practice was mostly pre-rehearsed moves, they were still full force. You attacked hard, got thrown.. then roles were reversed. Figuring out throws was like a physical koan. Good people, some philosophy, weekly ki-class on breathing, meditating, walking strongly.. even healing techniques. Great year end Misogi training in January where we'd enter ice cold streams and do some ki-ai's.

That's why I had my kids take karate when young. It was one of the few places, other than the home, where there was talk of control, humility, honor, respect.