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I was a member of Zen Forum International for a while. It was a nice place to have discussions and get advice. There were teachers there but they never helped me. They had their own agendas. Promoting their websites or Zendos. Still a nice place to visit. Been to a few other forums and the people, there, were in a know it all type of situation. Heavy into knowledge about everything about the Dharma and Sutras. Made me feel out of place. Sorry, I am simple and ignorant. Still willing to learn. So, by chance, someone mentioned The Dao Bums. And I have found it to be a nice place to visit. Have gotten some great advice. Good people here. Even though they know a whole lot more than I do, they have never made me feel stupid for not knowing ordinary things a beginner might know. So very happy to have been here and met the people that re-ignited my interest and practice. But, as in all things, change happens. Maybe for the better??

For Chassidus it is yes. In addition to the "outer" meaning, Chassidus also looks at the "inner" meaning. Yes it is the Shema. During the Shema prayer we declare that everything is God. The physical universe is a product of Divine consciousness. The universe and everything in it flows from and is an outpicturing of Divinity. God is infinite, permanent, unchanging, existing beyond time and space as an eternal absolute Being, the continuous source of all creation. God is both transcendent ("out there") and also immanent ("in here" within me). There is no place where God is not. אין עוד מלבדו (ein od milvado) There is nothing other than God

Yes. In my experience, integrating different systems leads to simplification. Only the very core will be the same.

in a traumatic situation (yes parents screaming at each other is yes a traumatic situation for children) a child will say whatever is demanded of them or expected of them, to ensure their own safety and survival. In a family situation where parents are screaming at each other, the kids learn early on what to say and do, what NOT to say or do. And also they are told what they feel and what they do not feel. The child in that situation does not have a voice and is not safe. is the incident described triggering for me? Yes it is. Do I find it disturbing? Yes i do. I am a grown up now, and I do have a voice now. I am using the voice that i have now, to say what i just said above.

I think it´s supposed to be the "ninja" emoji. I use it humorously to express secrecy. Like if I hint that something might be true but don´t want to come right out and say it outright. But I´m no emoji expert. That´s just my interpretation.

screaming at husband to the extent that children nearby are getting upset, does not seem to me to be the behavior of someone with balance in their thought, speech, actions, emotions. If someone is balanced, then the only thing i can think of that would justify screaming at someone else, is if there is imminent danger or threat of harm, or extreme fear or trauma response. there is a reason we teach children (and adults) not to scream at others. I don't see it as justified (either the action or the justification offered) in the situation described; and i am unclear on how that is model behavior.

those are really good points (post just above). Also my understanding or interpretation of an element from the "outside" of a path, can be very different (or way off base) from what that element means or how it is used "inside" the path. Context determines meaning. When i lift it out of one context and plug it into another context there is typically a distortion. This is compounded even more when there are translations across a different language because that too changes the meaning. Just as there are words and meanings and concepts which don't even exist in some languages, so too there are elements in a path that do not exist in other paths. And sacred scripture by nature carries multiple meanings for a single word or element or teaching. By its vary nature there is never just a single or simple meaning, but there are stacked meanings (which are often contradictory) which intentionally gives a richness and depth. Also for the same passage, it may mean something very different to me when i first read it than when i read it one or two or ten years later. My own view (and how I experience it) is that sacred texts (holy books) carry and deliver a transmission to the reader. All books do this to a certain extent, but it can be more pronounced for sacred texts due to the subject matter. .

I had a teacher once that said the map is not the territory. I think what he meant was there was risk in getting too reliant on maps of reality because they are not the same as reality. The maps can give you a useful framework but your direct experience will show you things you didn’t see on the map, some real some not real. Your success or failure in traversing this ground will be determined by your discernment (and grace) It’s clear to me when I look at the various maps you laid out that they have some commonalities and some differences. The commonalities may be due to a shared underlying reality related to the nature of spirit/divinity and to the nature of human beings. There are also differences that are significant that aren’t always clear from just a cursory reading. For example what is meant by the name “Shiva”. I am not a big fan of comparisons across traditions as they tend to gloss over the depths/nuances of these differences in favor of the commonalities. This can result in both dilution in the richness of individual traditions and unnecessary tensions/conflicts over defense of their perceived uniqueness. Daoists talk about this issue as one intrinsic to “naming things”. I’ve used different maps from different traditions at different points of my life depending on what teacher I was learning from - so they aren’t mine, I am just borrowing them from the teacher to help me on the journey. However the writings of the proto Daoists like Zhuangzhi , Liezi and the Nei Yeh have held a particular resonance for me. Their sense of humor and humility about the nature of humans I find continually refreshing and insightful.

In a way, we are always inside our own minds. I interpret it a bit differently. I guess it depends on how we define real. The experiences in the dark are extraordinarily vivid and compelling - sounds, visions, emotional reactivity, and yet there is nothing there but my own mind. Similar to dreaming. In the dream, there is no question about its reality, unless of course we are lucidly dreaming. For me it is more about the relationship between daily life experience and the mind.

imo “she” has NPD. This to me sounds like narcissistic manipulation (‘You made me do it’).

No, becauase the discussion occurred in the context of religious roles duties tasks obligations and responsibilities. So race is not relevant, because it is not a determining factor, nothing is race-specific. Gender is a factor, race is not. The context matters.

Analogies are rarely perfect.

Those are all valid. I bump up against those. That is why I am always thirsty to hear how different paths reconcile and resolve this. Thank you. It's like a domino effect, when I change or update a belief say here or there, then other beliefs are affected and start toppling over too. For internal harmony i seek to align them.

I can be in my dark room, my mind, with my eyes open. It’s not about eyes being open or closed. It’s about where I put my awareness (inside or outside). For me the most important thing is to distinguish between what’s ‘inside’ (my internal world, my mind) and what’s ‘outside’ (the external world, reality). The internal is generated by my mind; the external is real, not generated by my mind.

Sure thing! I am an Orthodox Jew.

I feel like we don't have the same energy anymore, old people left, the ones who stayed don't post that much. Yes I know there are new people carrying the forum on it's back, if it weren't for them to post we would have like only a few posts per week. Cheers to those new members I also used to hype this forum when I started, good times back in 2019, and that wasn't even the peak, I came too late to this forum, envy for those who participated in those times Seems like in the past 3 years we went downhill bro I'm also out of ideas to post so I can't contribute, I tried to annoy people the other day but it wasn't a good idea Recently I started to look for Tantra practices, and I had to PM 2 members here to get answers because no one commented on my post Then I found Reddit, and reddit forum about Tanta, Hinduism and Buddhism are full of people, for vajrayana I found a whole forum dedicated to it, just like this one But the qigong reddit is poor, very poor... And there is no other place like The Dao Bums So the best place for qigong/daoist related topics is still The Dao Bums, but unfortunately for some reason we couldn't incorporate well other traditions, it would be nice to have more people here and everything in one place, but I have no idea how to make this happen, buddhism is quite relevant here too but as I said, in COMPARISON to other places this is not the best unfortunately Oh well I coundn't use all of the emojis Anyways, I feel sad to have to use other forums for other traditions related questions. If I'm wrong please correct me

what does this mean, "form is emptiness and emptiness is form" and what is the context. i have seen it mentioned several times in different threads. where i get stuck is where it says they are dependent on each other, flip side of the same coin, can't have one without the other. Thank you.

Aha ! I wondered what happened .... tsunami alerts out .... awaiting danger (news the night before ) ... next day .... 'nothing ' (much) ???

There are two ways to consider rebirth: lifetime to lifetime, and moment to moment. Lifetime to lifetime rebirth is a typically religious notion that what you do in this life, has an effect upon whatever happens after you die. For some Buddhists, this is a “must believe” kind of thing. While it makes some sense to me, I am generally agnostic on this one. I have no idea what happens after I die, so no need to speculate. Then there is moment to moment rebirth. This we can experience in our lives. The teaching on rebirth is the 12 links of dependent origination. Again, it’s a very big topic, and rebirth is an especially contentious one. As always, the point of any teaching is dukkha, and its end. This is why I favor the moment to moment interpretation. That’s the only thing I have any control over. 🙏

I have found that even with the simplest of (sacred) texts - it seems to be part of the 'qualification' - meaning that a 'good ' text should be .... sort of .... 'encoded' to reveal deeper knowledge the more you study it . I experienced the same in a form ( martial arts ) , one of the supposed;ly simplest of forms teacher said was the main one and held the root of all other forms in simplicity . I doubted that and thought he was just 'sayin stuff' ... 15 years later , I am still finding new and revealing things within it !

yes.... I was just referring to the logical point he made about prisoner's sex and what conclusion he drew from that . 'Race' is a false construct ... that's why I referred to skin color .. besides ... we all know that women are more advanced I used to read Tarot publicly and I would also speak at certain 'pagan' events . One thing I would outline to them , and in readings where the issue came up , was this idea of the 3 stages of womanhood . Of course only a man like me would comment on that Traditionally it is said to be ; maiden mother crone ... like the Moon phases ..... rubbish ! The Moon as FOUR phases ! (I would say to them during a reading ) ; It should be maiden mother pirate elder . "Pirate ? ! " " Sure ! You wanted to know what was next in life for you ; the kids are grown up and left home , you have left hubby behind as now you have more time to yourself you are on a spiritual journey ... and he just does not get it ! Are you ready to be an old woman crone yet ? NO ! You still have a lot of life to live and vitality and now ... its YOUR time ... get out there, be, free , on the high seas ... plunder ; Fun ... business .... men's hearts ! Hoist the Jolly Roger ! " Once a woman in the little audience during a 'pagan conference ' heard that and asked , What about the male stages of life ?" " Well, there is child , youth / boy ...... ummmmm , youth/ boy ...... and then ....... youth boy ... and then mmmmmmmh .... mmman? ..... Man ? ....... ahhhhh Man ! ..... Father .... although Father can come anywhere within the preceding , eventually , Elder. "

There is no first cause in Buddhism. Cause and effect are so vast, they are considered timeless. A "being" is considered to be an aggregation of 5 things (or skandhas): form, feelings, perception, impulses, consciousness. There is pretty good discussion about the skandhas here.

So that's why I don't use that emoji !

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There's over 500 active geothermal phenomena there -- hot geysers, hot springs, mud volcanoes... but Yellowstone has more geysers, and a far bigger volcano. If that mother wakes up... And who's to say it won't -- the July 30th one in Kamchatka slept for 600 years. Fire Horse years are challenging (and also transformative -- the last one, 1966-1967, was quite noteworthy), but they happen every 60 years and that Kamchatka volcano ignored them for 600 years --and Yellowstone, for 640,000 years. Besides, the way I was taught Xuan Kong feng shui, the coming next year does get foreshadowed a couple of weeks in advance, a month tops... that's when its ruling qi is getting close. But six months ahead, no. It's still the antics of this-here year. Still the Wood Snake. It does carry Fire inside (concentrated in its venom and also firing up its sudden outbursts of the lightning fast strike -- but that's not a whole lot of Fire, it is actually cold-blooded after all). If you don't step on its tail, it is, generally, a rather peaceful animal (which may be one reason there were no casualties in that eruption, nor in the 8.8 earthquake that preceded it.)

In my experience, with a narcissist as a mother - children dare not disagree. These posts of yours, to me they come over as very inhumane. I find your posts too unsettling to read any further.

I guess I am not understanding this in the Buddhist context. more questions i guess: Is there a source or first cause in Buddhism? in a general sense i am seeking to understand in the Buddhist context the relationship between the physical (body) and the non-physical (essence? pure awareness? the part that reincarnates?) Buddhism does encompass not just reincarnation but also leaving the cycle of reincarnation, permanently. So that relationship.

There's a number of subjects which arose on this thread which I want to address - just to clarify my position. 1. Accumulation of qi/energy etc. In Wang Mu Daoist Internal Alchemy the first stage is called Laying the Foundations and this consists in the first place of conserving, restoring and guarding the three treasures. The three treasures are jing, qi and shen. The clear implication is that you stop frittering away your energy, turn it inwards and conserve it. I would call this accumulation. In Vajrayana Buddhism the preliminary practices are based round accumulating merit (a kind of positive energy) and wisdom (insight into the nature of things). So here the term used is accumulation. This is quite basic I believe. The idea that this is somehow negative versus 'free flow' is erroneous in my opinion and is based on a kind of New Age version of what qi is and how it behaves. Like the idea that Daoism means 'go with the flow' - a highly discredited idea. 2. Meditation as therapy. There were some examples given of applying Buddhist principles to therapy. That in itself is possibly ok but I have no experience of it. However one example of using 'tsa lung' was given. Tsa Lung means literally 'channels and winds' and refers to a completion stage yoga which uses channels and winds (energy flow) together with tigle (drops) as the basis for the subtle body - which in this practice becomes identified with the Sambhoga kaya. It is a very high level practice the aim of which is the 'merging' of the self with the entire subtle body realm (sambhoga-kaya). I doubt very much this is what the therapist is teaching. Rather perhaps he/she has borrowed some of the more tangible breathing exercises and movements to apply them to relaxation or something like that. This is almost reverse Buddhism. To put it simply ... you relax in order to meditate, but you don't meditate in order to relax. 3. Beliefs We all hold beliefs of course - or we wouldn't be able to function. But in terms of the praxis of meditation belief is not really an element. There is a process of growing confidence which occurs but this is based on applying the principles taught and reflecting on the positive results. Through the work you do you find after a while a growing confidence based on what is happening to you - this is not the same as belief. If you hold beliefs about meditation you should actually challenge them as hard as you can - test them to destruction until if they hold up under intense scrutiny they become working principles you can apply. Even your very interest in Daoism or Buddhism or whatever in the first place has a cause. That cause is your buddha-nature (or equivalent) which already knows the possibility of fulfilling the path. If this was not the case none of this would be possible. Again this is not 'belief' but perhaps inner calling. Thanks.

yeah, that comes to mind also. it does have that look of "bank robber" or "bandit" or "protester" or "burglar" wearing ski mask to conceal identity during criminal or disruptive activity, along those lines.

hahaha to be honest I don't know either! I was just spamming different emojis at the end of every sentence. But If I need to guess, I would say it should be used when you try to hide something or you did something bad and maybe you want so say "it wasn't me", but I really don't know, it's all people's interpretation at this point

Save your time and money and head to Beijing instead to learn either Ba Gua Zhang or Xingyi Quan (of both). Location: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_Bamboo_Park Good teachers there but you need to do a lot of hard work to benefit from these incredible energetic arts. You have Liver & Gallbladder blockages. Ba Gua Z. will resolve those due to its twisty, coiling nature based on constant change. It's a never ending moving art that clears EVERYTHING. Nothing is left untouched. Good luck!

Thank you for all your help people. I ordered 2nd DVD set. And thank you @BigSkyDiamond for the guidelines/routine explanation. So I have a question regarding the 2nd dvd and the guidelines, it has a movement/meditation just for sleep. I do struggle with sleep, for those of you who have done this movement, how long before bed is it reccomended to do? Like does it have to be right before bed, or 1-3 hours? And regarding the gudelines where it says to stick to 1 seated and 1 standing movement, I'm assuming you can do multiple sets of the same movement right? Because 1 movement is about 5 min, so I'm assuming you can do 4-6 sets so you get a 30m practice out of it?

I know how it feels to be on the other side of it, haha. The "like, dislike" feature can be really annoying on this forum. That's one thing I'd remove if it was up to me. This game of taking sides is mostly egotistical and only adds fuel to the inflammation of conflicts. Rarely do people use the "like" feature to show that something touched their heart without the agenda to side against a somebody. When it happens it's nice. I don't think he tried to side against you or with me tho. That's a good use of a "like" button. Besides, I don't think it's possible to side with me on a personal level, I'd be the first one to turn against all such plays, haha. "Truth is perfectly comfortable standing alone, lies need lots of aliences to constantly feel reassurance." It's a nice topic you've touched on, Nungali. Ties really nicely into the importance of sovergnity... Perhaps a discussion for another day Tcare, Nungali, it's always fun talking to you. 🤝 Amen

Of course you could find out about the reality of something ; "Quing-pudo is an ancient Chinese karate " the new impressed student of the 'cult' says . Nah... its been researched and shown its a fake ... watch your wallet ! " Validity ? Could mean a lot , but for example, is a health path valid that ONLY eats paw paw ? I never done it . But it near killed someone I know ! I don't need to do that to know how valid it is ! I saw it and then read up on why it happened . I think what you mean is you cant TASTE the fruit unless you do taste it . You cant have the experience of being on the path unless you are on the path . Some paths are wrong and mistaken , you can get good and bad experiences , but yes, nothing substitutes the 'experience' of doing it yourself .. even if its a bad or detrimental experience .

it also teaches another reason why men are given a greater amount of religious duties, obligations, tasks, and responsibilities than women. Because keeping them busy and occupied with more obligations means they are less likely to get in trouble. I remember when the rabbi was explaining this to me i must have look surprised, I had never heard such a thing. It just seemed so novel to me, and at the same time very practical. He went on to say "look at the prisons, it is the men causing trouble." I looked it up: Men commit 90% of violent crimes (Sweden , 2013 data); federal prison population is 93% men (USA, 2017 data)

By some accounts in the first version of this solar system (incarnation of the solar Logos) our god was a god of right intelligence. Spiritual development for human souls was based on learning to direct intelligent energies. In this incarnation of the solar Logos our god is a god of love - or more correctly, a god of right relationship. Human souls formed in/for this version of the solar system mostly are learning right relationship. Some of the souls from the previous solar system prefer the old ways. Billions of years from now (if linear time is significant) there will be a new version of this solar system where our god will be a god of right intent. A few brave souls are preparing the way. Thus right intelligence provides usable structures, entities and groups Right relationship develops coherence and strength in those groups Coherent groups with right relationship may be strong enough to be used with right intent. At that stage our solar Logos may qualify for functions delegated by our galactic Logos. etc.

it sounds like in the frameworks presented overall, then yes for me the nondual is where i fit. Thank you. (in my religion, the most important prayer we say everyday first thing upon waking, and last thing before going to sleep, and sing to our babies, and the first prayer we teach our children, and recite as we are dying, is a simple short six-word prayer and the last word translates to "is One.")

thank you for the charts presented across many paths.

? Isn't this from last week , when there was a tsunami that hit some places but ended up not as bad as thought ? the article is dated Aug 7th . Kamchatka volcanic activity ; its ongoing and has been for a while ; The Kamchatka River and the surrounding central side valley are flanked by large volcanic belts containing around 160 volcanoes, 29 of them still active

Yes. Yes, totally, that’s my experience too. In my experience, I had to become less ambitious on both levels in order to be able to integrate.

thank you for the additional information, much appreciated. People within a path always know more about the path and practices, and variations and nuance. We all benefit when there is context and background provided, and it is always helpful (in my view) to hear more. This forum is a really good place for that. Thank you for filling us in.

Yes that is a good point. Mixing systems can cause problems. for me anyway. i may be overthinking things. also there is viewing things from the level of my small "s" self, my physical human finite self and personality. . and then there is viewing things from the level of my big "S" Self, from the soul level, my infinite Self. and navigating both perspectives with balance, order, and harmony.

May I ask what your religion is?

Going blind for an hour ? having your visual cortex paralyzed ... spewing .... having to 'go to the jungle ' and worse ! ... having to listen to AC/DC ! My goodness , why do people do that ? Anyway , no black cats here and no Ayahuasca ..... although , there was once a wallaby in the back yard that was acting a bit strange ; it came right down to the house and started listening to some ritual (indigenous ) music that was playing ... and started sort of dancing and swaying to it and then it jumped through the big glass window next to my bed ! But the window didn't break ???? Now Paddy is dancing in the middle of my cabin , then he turned into an Aboriginal styled painting of himself . Then other animals started coming inside and joining in the dance in a big circle and they all turned into 'Aboriginal art ' versions of themselves . And then they all formed a rotating pulsating Aboriginal art mandala around me .... and then I traveled back in time and the cabin and everything modern disappeared and I was out in the desert in a ceremony, that involved two lines of elders whumping sticks on the ground providing rhythm for didgeridoo drones and wailing chants in ancient tongues and 'certain other things' culminating in me being forced into a rock crack which led to a huge cave inside bigger than the rock that contained it ..... and my dead Grandfather was in there ! But I would not take Ayahuasca .... all that crazy shit that comes up for ya ..... no thanks

me too, i second the motion. what it brings to mind for me is making the distinction between the Tao Te Ching (which resonates deeply for me); and the religion of Daosim which later sprang up and developed (which does not resonate for me at all) including the alchemical practices such as neigong and neidan. but i am curious to hear more on what is referenced above.

i don't see it so much as group processes. i see it more as women innately being more tuned into their intuition. and seeing sensing what is going on and bypassing and not being distracted by mental thought processes, or emotional feeling processes. It is my view that intuition is the still small voice of Divinity within us that we can tune in to directly. Everyone has it but comes more naturally for women to be able to not only hear it, but also to be able to distinguish it from the mind that thinks, and the emotions that feel. It is separate and distinct. that is at the human level. at the level of Divinity, at the level of the soul, there is no gender.

Depends on what sect you subscribe to. in classical tantric Shaivism, Shiva is considered the supreme being, the source of all existence, and the ultimate reality (Parabrahman).

Equanimity. Stillness. Those qualities are not just developed in your formal practice, but needs to be enforced in your daily life and habits. That clarity that arises from equanimity, will dispell questions about who's energy is from where, and which is what. You will discern and know for yourself. Like choppy waters, nothing is clear, it is all muddy, guesswork, impossible to judge objectively. When you make the energies and mind settle to become clear without ripples, you can see and know. Abandoning alcohol and drugs, stop listening to music passively in the background, decrease your interaction with people who are not involved in your path, abandon harmful people in your life. These are real changes that will make a real difference besides your formal practice.

Two monks were arguing about a flag. One said: "The flag is moving." The other said: "The wind is moving." The sixth patriarch happened to be passing by. He told them: "Not the wind, not the flag; mind is moving."

Hopefully she will help clear up your confusion if you continue to study with her. It certainly is a foreign concept to most Westerners. Not only that, I think it is fairly sophisticated, esoteric, and abstruse. I think the meaning can be quite elusive and easily misunderstood. The first time I encountered it was at a Bön retreat with Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche. We also did a daily protector deity practice and both gave me religious ick vibes. It was my first ever retreat of any kind and first exposure to Bön or Buddhism. I considered leaving after the first day but resigned myself to give it a chance. By the end of that week and in the few days after returning home I had some very shocking and profound experiences and visions that made it clear this was the right practice for me and I’ve practiced it for the past 12 years. My daily practice starts with some energetic and breathing practices, tsa lung and the 9 breathings of purification. Next I recite some prayers, practice guru yoga, and then rest in the nature of mind. I wrap it up with a dedication prayer. I think it is a good exercise in openness and flexibility to consider giving new and strange things a try, with the exception of balut, that shit’s crazy. If we are too closed off we can miss a wonderful opportunity. On the other hand, if you try and can’t connect don’t force it. Tibetans with the right cultural background are going to expect, even need this sort of experience to make a deep connection. Westerners are going to be very hit or miss with this sort of thing. You can tell Tenzin Rinpoche has realized this by watching how he teaches. I’ve watched his method change over the past decade. I rarely see him formally guide guru yoga, except in very specific circumstances. Most times he will recite the prayer and then lead the sangha in a very simple mantra, A Om Hung which is a simplified and secularized form of guru yoga. Reciting A Om and Hung we are receiving the empowerment of the enlightened body, speech, and mind without having to embrace a foreign icon. I love him too. He is a great teacher and human being, he really walks the walk. One very important point he emphasizes is to never practice guru yoga with your living teacher. This can set up an unhealthy relationship and dynamic. We mostly practice guru yoga with the 8th century dzogchen master Tapihritsa (the icon in my avatar) who represents all the masters and teachers who have helped you on the spiritual path, especially your root master and the one that introduced you to the nature of your own mind. He founded a secular program called the 3 Doors Academy that teaches the core of dzogchen with none of the religious trappings. I’ve been through that program as well and have seen amazing results and transformations in the participants. Of late, he rarely guides or teaches the full formal guru yoga practice but the more traditional Bön teachers still do. Tenzin Rinpoche’s teacher also taught ‘there is no dzogchen without guru yoga’ but Tenzin has allowed his experience of Western life and students to inform how he presents it. While these are both implicit in guru yoga, the traditional way in Bön is to go through guru yoga, refuge, and bodhicitta prayers in each practice session. If this works for you it is enough. Ultimately, guru yoga is to recognize and develop a deep and stable relationship with true nature of your being, the essence of your own mind. This is the secret guru. The outer guru is your human teacher and the inner guru is your yidam. The most important thing is to find something we can trust, be it the human teacher, the yidam, or the inner refuge, the nature of our own mind. Trust, dedication, and gratitude are the key and the fuel for connecting with the teachings, teachers, and most importantly the inner teacher. I think you’re asking great and important questions. Nothing more important than being true to your feelings and personal experience. Feel free to reply or PM if interested in further discussion.