Future problems

[mwight]

There are an infinite number of realities ranging from heaven to absolute hell. We navigate through them each second via our thoughts, actions and choices. So no you don't suck, you just haven't learned to navigate well yet. Neither have I or anyone else here obviously. Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

Thanks.

 

I apologize to all the women I may have offended in my advice to Mr. K

I view women as equals to men, and I don't dislike women anymore than I dislike men.

 

It's just I view 99% of earths human population as greedy little hedonistic monkeys, always looking out for their own best interests. Finding people in general who are truly kind, and compassionate is a rare event. I am embarrassed to say I am even human most of the time, as a species we are truly a sorry lot.

 

So no I don't hate women, or think any less of them than I do men.

Edited January 21, 2008 by mwight

[gendao]

One and two are distorted.

As for women you have either had a few bad experiences or your model role i.e father older brother etc

has instilled a negative attitude in you towards women. If you continue with this attitude you will certainly

get what you wish for. Some past experience might be distorting you ability to judge the truth of people

Actually, I find this attitude an norm amongst young men today in post-feminist America. And I think it is important to acknowledge and validate it - because it is very experiential.

 

If you don't believe me, just watch this interview with a woman who posed as a man for over a year to find out what the male experience is really like. Whereby she was stunned to discover that we don't have it better, we are suffering and that women have all the power in dating. And that was just after seeing the tip of the iceberg. Imagine what she would have felt had she got a divorce and went through a child support battle, got falsely accused of rape or something!

 

And I think the other problem is that some of our souls are still holding this idealistic 5th plane definition of love...even though we're living down here now in the 3rd plane. And the 3rd plane definition of "love" is based more upon evolutionary psychology, physical attributes and self-survival agendas. Which means "hot" guys and girls get all the love, high ideals be damned. Which then kinda sucks if you're not considered a "hot" guy or girl. Or even if you are, and realize that that is the main reason that you are getting love...

 

But I guess dating in America 2008 is a whole 'nother topic in itself.

Edited January 21, 2008 by vortex

[thelerner]

From a different point of view.

 

Money is not an illusion. You will need some to survive, more to live comfortably. Take the time and pain to learn a trade that will allow you to earn a good living. Thats not to say you should forget your dreams. They're extremely important. Discover them. Work on them. Make them a serious hobby and see if you can make a living from them. In the meantime become an expert at something that will pay you well.

 

You're going to be alive 80 to 100 years. You have time. Time to sort things out. Find out what is important.

 

Appreciate life, you're going to be here awhile. Appreciate people, most of them are pretty worthwhile if you give them a chance and take the time to communicate in their lingo. Fight cynicism and prejudice, its all around, but it will limit you.

 

I don't think we create reality. We're born into it and have the freedom to interpret and react to it. Maybe we can nudge ita little, but its a whole lot easier to change our attitudes. You can't fight it, but you can flow in the direction you want to go.

 

Good friends will keep you sane and help you enjoy life. A good mate will give warmth and love (& drive you slightly insane, but thats what the friends are there to counter). These are important in life. To live without a source of it is stulting.

 

The solution is finding the right combination between pragmatism (corporate shill) and idealism(starving artist). Blending the dream and lifes neccessities to find the life thats right for you.

 

So I say move in two directions. Pick a dream, work and put legs to it. Also pick a job area that can make you money and you can give a damn about. Study hard, smart and find good mentors.

 

 

Michael

[Oolong Rabbit]

Sellout

[nfamily1]

From a different point of view.

 

Money is not an illusion. You will need some to survive, more to live comfortably. Take the time and pain to learn a trade that will allow you to earn a good living. Thats not to say you should forget your dreams. They're extremely important. Discover them. Work on them. Make them a serious hobby and see if you can make a living from them. In the meantime become an expert at something that will pay you well.

 

You're going to be alive 80 to 100 years. You have time. Time to sort things out. Find out what is important.

 

Appreciate life, you're going to be here awhile. Appreciate people, most of them are pretty worthwhile if you give them a chance and take the time to communicate in their lingo. Fight cynicism and prejudice, its all around, but it will limit you.

 

I don't think we create reality. We're born into it and have the freedom to interpret and react to it. Maybe we can nudge ita little, but its a whole lot easier to change our attitudes. You can't fight it, but you can flow in the direction you want to go.

 

Good friends will keep you sane and help you enjoy life. A good mate will give warmth and love (& drive you slightly insane, but thats what the friends are there to counter). These are important in life. To live without a source of it is stulting.

 

The solution is finding the right combination between pragmatism (corporate shill) and idealism(starving artist). Blending the dream and lifes neccessities to find the life thats right for you.

 

So I say move in two directions. Pick a dream, work and put legs to it. Also pick a job area that can make you money and you can give a damn about. Study hard, smart and find good mentors.

Michael

I like your post Dont agree with all but That is what makes these forums great

Thanks

Trent

[seadog]

I'm a high school student and i don't know what to do. Recently, being a senior and all, a lot of people have been asking me what i want to do with my life, college, military or whatever. The thing is, I don't know,i know i have a future [well, i think i have a future] i just don't know what it is, i'm the kind of person who just handles things as they come up, i live life day-to-day, so i don't even know how to aproach this...

 

so, my questionto all of you is, is there some way, taoist, meditation, or otherwise that i can make this more apparent to myself?

 

thanks,

 

Mr. K

All I can say is I'am over forty and I still don't know what I want to do with my life, having said that I have done a great deal in my life with many wonderful adventures.The only regret I have is wasteing time wondering what I should be doing instead of having fun.

[Ian]

I'd suggest that it's very important to make enough money to avoid being a parasite. This can mean earning lots, or earning little and having few needs.

 

I'd also suggest that you will be very lucky if you are able to find something you really love and do it for a living. Most people tend to try for work they at least don't hate. Things that can help are if your work gets you some fresh air and exercise, some variety, some degree of autonomy, and the chance to be helpful.

 

Otherwise, I'd mainly suggest don't burn your bridges. If you're not sure what you want now, then it's still possible that you may one day want lots of money to enable something you want later.

 

If it helps, I'm nearly forty and only just beginning to do a very little of the things I really like, alongside work that is ok, but which I'm really too good for and put up with for the covenience.

 

Ugh.

[Wayfarer64]

Keep your options open, you are young, questioning on a serious level, and seeking answers where many others are just "playing the game"-

 

 

That's a great start for anyone!

 

 

Life is not merely a game to play to win (stuff, position, even fame and fortune...)

 

It is a spiritual quest for many here and a quite different enterprise than making money as a way to live...

 

The Lerner is right we each need to make our own way on a financial level that keeps us alive - and that can be a roller-coaster when you choose a path that is not basically materialistic, so the advice to find something that you love and make it the way to earn a living may be good- but also difficult-

 

Our societies (American for me) often do not support the arts nor non-financialy rewarding science nor alternative life-styles -not sexual just different - as some here have expressed ...so be careful- a trade can become useless as has photography in the past decade etc...

 

Think ahead

Maybe project yrself forward in yr mind, and get a sense of where ya want to be in 2,5,7,10 years -then learn what ya need to know ...

and do be care - full ...

 

Mwight is not wrong - most of us suck!!!

Edited January 21, 2008 by Wayfarer64

[mYTHmAKER]

Rich or poor it's good to have money

 

I would not, however, strictly pursue money.

Many people become wealthy as a by product.

They had a passion doing something they loved

and the money followed.

You can always give it away - help others in need.

 

Always remain open to possibilities.

[mwight]

 

Mwight is not wrong - most of us suck!!!

 

Well I consider most people here in these types of communities to be far ahead of the rest of our society. All the girls I dated in real life had never even heard of Taoism. Some had heard of Buddhism but thought that it meant you rubbed a fat man's belly for wishes. I kid you not. Most people are concerned only with being happy, and remaining ignorant of truth. This annoys me greatly, and I sometimes come off like a real asshole talking about it. I assure you if your here reading this most likely I am not talking about you.

 

If you are here researching taoism, and searching for truth, most likely you are NOT like 99% of the people in our western world. Obviously your not a sheep just accepting mainstream ideas and beliefs, your searching for truth.

 

So I guess what I am saying is I think most people here are good people, who actually give a damn about others. I don't look down on anyone I have met here on the forums.

 

I come off as cynical and hateful, but really to be honest most people in our society are not beyond animal level intelligence and behavior.

Edited January 22, 2008 by mwight

[Mal]

I wish it were that easy for me right now, if i were older i'd have more options, but now people expect me to do something that they would consider good, it's i'm not really making the choices, my parents/family/teachers are...

 

Unfortunately that will never change & unfortunately getting older does not help, although it may remove the teachers, usually they will be replaced by friends. More option can just mean more confusion.

 

So I say move in two directions. Pick a dream, work and put legs to it. Also pick a job area that can make you money and you can give a damn about. Study hard, smart and find good mentors.

Michael

 

This is good, gives you a chance to change if you want later. It's really hard to know what you want to be when you grow up, and I'm not sure that taoism addresses that issue very well. Anyone got a reference? I remember vague obligations to be the best that you can to help society, but I could be getting confused with Confucius

 

 

I'm 34 and still don't know. Taoism to me is about sitting back and relaxing, possibility not a good aim at the start of life. Some education opportunities are time dependent and can not be repeated later in life without great difficulty and lots of money. So personally I went with as much education as I could get (I miss not continuing onto post graduate, at the time I'd had enough study and was lured away by money) Eventually went down to a job I don't give a damn about, but it gives me enough money to enjoy life.

 

 

Really to be honest most people in our society are not beyond animal level intelligence and behavior.

 

I agree, my partner is one of the 1% girls so she forgives you too I am very lucky.

[mentalground0]

[freeform]

.

Edited December 18, 2019 by freeform

[joeblast]

Keep in mind that through all of this one thing you will always have control over is your attitude. Proper mind and intention are invaluable!

 

To everyone is given the key to heaven; the same key opens the gates of hell. ~Ancient Proverb

 

Oft expectation fails, and most oft there

Where most it promises.

~William Shakespeare

 

People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them. ~Epictetus

[rain]

Well I consider most people here in these types of communities to be far ahead of the rest of our society. All the girls I dated in real life had never even heard of Taoism. Some had heard of Buddhism but thought that it meant you rubbed a fat man's belly for wishes. I kid you not. Most people are concerned only with being happy, and remaining ignorant of truth. This annoys me greatly, and I sometimes come off like a real asshole talking about it. I assure you if your here reading this most likely I am not talking about you.

 

If you are here researching taoism, and searching for truth, most likely you are NOT like 99% of the people in our western world. Obviously your not a sheep just accepting mainstream ideas and beliefs, your searching for truth.

 

So I guess what I am saying is I think most people here are good people, who actually give a damn about others. I don't look down on anyone I have met here on the forums.

 

I come off as cynical and hateful, but really to be honest most people in our society are not beyond animal level intelligence and behavior.

 

i don't think you come of as neither cynical nor hateful. i think many of your reflections about values are spot on. sometimes it feels like one has to use a torch in this darkness to find someone to really relate to. i think you are fighting to stay genuine. it is great when there is also space enough to let us come off as asses and loose it. When we are like Beale in the Movie "Network" and we yell; "I,m Mad as Hell and I'm Not Going to Take it Anymore!"

 

Edited January 22, 2008 by rain

[Eric23]

I would like to pass along a quote (or at least a paraphrase of it) that my high school english teacher shared with us. He said when he heard it, his blood ran cold. It's funny how the mind works, in the midst of living a life very much like Al Bundy in "Married with Children" I recalled it and started to change directions.

 

"The cities are filled with men living lives of quiet despiration" Henry David Thoreau

 

Resolve NOT to be one of those men. In spite of all your expectations now, at some point down the line you will almost certianlly wind up being chewed up and swallowed by our system. Mwight is right in that the system is totally screwed up and based on lies. Unfortunately, it's such a dominate force that it's almost impossible not to get sucked in. One thing I've learned in my 50 some odd years is that you can never really know what lies in store for you 1 year, 5 years or 15 years down the road. You might have a general idea on where you would like to go, but the world now will not resemble the world in 15 years. There are opportunities and paths awaiting you that you can not even begin to imagine at this point in your life.

 

Again Learner is spot on. Earning a living is one thing, your avocation that trully defines who you are is/can be quite another thing. So the advice your parents and teachers are giving you regarding earning a living and navigating through the muck of our society is well intended and probably worthwhile. Just keep in mind that you work to live, not the other way around. I hope that the Thoreau quote will come in handy some day.

 

My children are a just a few years older than you and I've watched them struggle to find their way. I wish you well.

[steve]

I'm a high school student and i don't know what to do. Recently, being a senior and all, a lot of people have been asking me what i want to do with my life, college, military or whatever. The thing is, I don't know,i know i have a future [well, i think i have a future] i just don't know what it is, i'm the kind of person who just handles things as they come up, i live life day-to-day, so i don't even know how to aproach this...

 

so, my questionto all of you is, is there some way, taoist, meditation, or otherwise that i can make this more apparent to myself?

 

thanks,

 

Mr. K

Lot's of good advice so far.

 

For what it's worth, here's a bit of a historical perspective. When we were hunter/gatherers, each of us needed to know how to do everything in the culture (make clothes, hunt, medical care and so on). Once permanent settlements and agriculture were established we could divide the work and specialize. Before formal education systems, each of us simply carried on the family business - you had no way of being exposed to anything else. Now with formalized education, anyone can do just about anything. Unfortunately we now have so many options that it's a source of anxiety and conflict. It's a good problem to have.

 

My advice would be to take whatever opportunities you can to expose yourself to different things - everything! Dive into it all. See what turns you on, if anything. If you have an opportunity to continue your education, take it, but don't commit to anything until you are ready. If you have an opportunity to travel, take it. Try things you couldn't imagine liking, just for the hell of it. I have a lot of issues with how we educate our citizens yet undegraduate study is a great way to expose yourself to new possibilities, as is travel, if you can afford it. In the meantime, continue your day to day approach and don't sweat it too much. Your current way - day by day -is very Daoist - wu wei, go with not against...

 

The important thing to remember is that none of it makes a damn bit of difference in the long run. It's all a game, albeit a very convincing one. Once you realize that it gets easier. If you keep the idea that it's just a game in the back of your mind, you can continue to play the game yet not take it too seriously. The more serious you are, the more you will suffer. If you know it doesn't matter, you can afford to really immerse yourself in life with abandon and enjoy it immensely. If it all seems very serious, you will tend to be reserved and feel like a victim.

 

I'm a rat, this is my 4th cycle, so this is an old guy's perspective. My 20 yo son has been struggling with these decisions for a while and my advice to him has been that it's better to happy than rich... Oh yea, and I've been struggling with the same questions for the past few years again, myself...

[mentalground0]

Lot's of good advice so far.

 

For what it's worth, here's a bit of a historical perspective. When we were hunter/gatherers, each of us needed to know how to do everything in the culture (make clothes, hunt, medical care and so on). Once permanent settlements and agriculture were established we could divide the work and specialize. Before formal education systems, each of us simply carried on the family business - you had no way of being exposed to anything else. Now with formalized education, anyone can do just about anything. Unfortunately we now have so many options that it's a source of anxiety and conflict. It's a good problem to have.

 

My advice would be to take whatever opportunities you can to expose yourself to different things - everything! Dive into it all. See what turns you on, if anything. If you have an opportunity to continue your education, take it, but don't commit to anything until you are ready. If you have an opportunity to travel, take it. Try things you couldn't imagine liking, just for the hell of it. I have a lot of issues with how we educate our citizens yet undegraduate study is a great way to expose yourself to new possibilities, as is travel, if you can afford it. In the meantime, continue your day to day approach and don't sweat it too much. Your current way - day by day -is very Daoist - wu wei, go with not against...

 

The important thing to remember is that none of it makes a damn bit of difference in the long run. It's all a game, albeit a very convincing one. Once you realize that it gets easier. If you keep the idea that it's just a game in the back of your mind, you can continue to play the game yet not take it too seriously. The more serious you are, the more you will suffer. If you know it doesn't matter, you can afford to really immerse yourself in life with abandon and enjoy it immensely. If it all seems very serious, you will tend to be reserved and feel like a victim.

 

I'm a rat, this is my 4th cycle, so this is an old guy's perspective. My 20 yo son has been struggling with these decisions for a while and my advice to him has been that it's better to happy than rich... Oh yea, and I've been struggling with the same questions for the past few years again, myself...

 

 

Mister K, you'd be wise to heed these words

 

 

xuesheng - i'm a rat as well. we're almost in our year!

[steve]

xuesheng - i'm a rat as well. we're almost in our year!

I'm hoping it's a good one! Cheers!

[mat black]

There's been heaps of great advice given already, people are so helpful, it's wonderful.

 

I just thought i'd touch a couple of fundamentals anyway:

 

The tilte of your post is 'future problems'

 

Mate, don't percieve the future as posing some kind of problem. If you expect that there will be problems, it's most likely that there will be.

 

Maybe you see it as a problem because you are not sure about it. I know how it feels. The most important thing is don't worry.

 

i just don't know what it is, i'm the kind of person who just handles things as they come up, i live life day-to-day, so i don't even know how to aproach this...

 

It seems that you are approaching it the right way at the moment.

 

Despite what most people will tell you, you don't need to have concrete certainty about your future just now.

 

so, my questionto all of you is, is there some way, taoist, meditation, or otherwise that i can make this more apparent to myself?

 

There sure are some techniques that can make your purpose more apparant to yourself. Most people here will have a different opinion on which is best haha.

 

But it can be said, when you get in touch with your innermost, and you live with awareness, alert of what you are doing and thinking, and you maintain sincerity, integrity, honesty etc. Living this way, you'll be supported by the universe.

 

And the answers will come at the right time.

 

Oh yeah, and smiling is very good too. haha But, i mean an authentic one, from your 3 eyes and heart.

 

Of course, on the subject of techniques of meditation etc, it's best to find someone to learn with in person that has a long lineage and is of high virtue.

 

All the best,

 

Hope this cog in the wheel didn't jam the bike up.

 

- mat

Edited January 23, 2008 by mat black

[Pero]

My best suggestion to you is to evaluate the life-program you're currently following - it's far from easy, it's much simpler to spot other people's programs than your own, but a gratefulness and non-judgmental acceptance of what you discover are an important part of it.

 

My program was niceness or agreeableness - most people find me very easy to get along with, and they have a very definite sense of comfort from being around me. This has its benefits and its downfalls - the benefits are obvious, but I also tend to blend into the person I'm with, I tend to lose my identity and follow whatever intentions they have in an attempt to please them or make them comfortable. My independence (and my liver) suffer very much from this.

 

So how did you get over this?

 

Because I think I have the same trait although lately I think I'm able to stay "myself" more.

I noticed that I often duplicate a person's personality, way of talking, moving, laughing. Not for a long time, usually just when I'm with someone, and maybe for a short while later. Laughing is the most obvious to me. In general I noticed that in groups after a while all people start to laugh very similarly, but for me it happens much faster and regardless if it's a group or not.

It can be uncofomfortable, because for example, when I notice that I started laughing the same way as the other person, I become self-aware and in my head it's like "shit, is he aware of this? crap, how should I laugh?".

 

 

I have been reading about NLP a bit the past two months and it's a fascinating subject. I was thinking about opening a thread about it, but right now I don't know what specifically I'd like to talk about.

 

Also another question, how do you figure out which type you are? I always thought I was a visual type, but then I did the test in Bandler's User Manual For The Brain (I think), and it came out auditory digital, while visual was the last... Maybe I should to do it again, as on some questions I had a really hard time deciding.

[satyagraha]

I will give you the same piece of advice one of my philosophy professor's once gave me:

 

"It is much more important to have the right questions, than to have the right answers."

 

It sounds to me like you are asking the right questions, so perhaps you are closer than you think. If all else fails, just look at what everyone else is doing and do the exact opposite. Most of the people are wrong most of the time, and the path of least resistance is seldom fulfilling.

 

Brgds!

damn, that was hilarious 'just look at what everyone else is doing and do the exact opposite!' wow- I have never heard a more profound truth stated so simply!

I am 18 as well

To my advice,

 

you cannot find the right path, the right path will find you, what are you passionate about?

 

If you try do anything rather than what you love...I guarentee you will grow jaded, cynical and beaten at some point or another, you may manage to lie to yourself well enough to make it okay, but you will not find true happiness. True happiness is genuine acceptance. You don't need to get a degree, or have a job, money, food, be famous, have a nice car, even know how to meditate if you can learn to love yourself! IF you can realize that you are a beautiful person, a divine being, and that the universe is your playground life is infinite!Life is meant to be fun! don't seek external stuff to fix the internal, fix the internal, and the external comes naturally.

forgiveness is powerful! forgive yourself, right now, for any negative thoughts or emotions, actions or words you have ever had! you are a human being and it will all be okay! we all make mistakes, so forgive everyone in america who buys all of their lies, forgive the bankers who rob us, forgive the nazis for facsism, forgive whoever you have a problem with! we are all just trying to do the best we can!

 

once you learn to accept yourself (this is a process, so forgive yourself for not getting it right away) you can accept others, than the world, than everything is beautiful, and you realize that you have everything you need, right here, right now, always and forever.

[freeform]

.

Edited December 18, 2019 by freeform

[Pero]

I haven't 'gotten over it', it's just becoming less and less automatic - I used to fall into 'autopilot' - just reacting, rather than 'being'... What I do is I become very curious about about what happens internally in me... just paying very close attention to what's happening in my body, my heart and my mind creates more 'space' - it's like slowing time down - more space allows for more varied 'movement' - having this space gives me more freedom... So yeah - just become more aware of what's going on, without wanting to change anything and without judging it. It's so much simpler than the mind wants to make it

 

Thanks! But for some reason it doesn't really seem easy to me.

 

 

There is a tendency with NLP people to 'do' more than necessary - in my oppinion *observing* is far more powerful than *doing*.

 

Well I'm hardly to be considered being "NLP people". Just started.

 

 

I'm sure you've at least attempted to meditate - what kind of thoughts pop up in your mind when you still yourself? do you tend to talk to yourself or discuss ideas, do you tend to have vague feelings, or do visual memories like movies or pictures pop up in the mind?... I suspect all of these come up,

 

Yeah, a mixture, I'd say the "intensity" of things varies. Sometimes it's mostly images, like a movie, sometime mostly voices. It seems like when I'm more relaxed images manifest more often, and when I'm not so relaxed I often have an internal dialog. Though I haven't really paid much attention to these things when meditating. Whatever came was just another manifestation, not really important.

 

I'm not sure what you mean with feelings? Emotions or what?

 

 

but this is where you create 'space' which slows down time, so you can closely monitor what is happening... If you're anything like me you will tend to have an all encompassing feeling and then talk about it in your mind... it's like having a quick, momentary, kinesthetic 'understanding' that I then decode into linear language... my mental images are generaly vague and very fast, so it's hard to notice them and pay attention to the content...

 

Hmmmm. I understand slowing down, but the rest i'm not really sure about. Can you elaborate on what you mean? Is it like when you "get it" but can't really explain yet?

 

 

anyway - it's not really useful to decide 'oh I'm visual'... it's putting yourself in a box, just observe what happens inside...

 

Then why are there tests and stuff for it?

(sorry, like I said I just recently became more interested in NLP)

[Buddy]

I like a lot of this. I have always swam against the tide. Yes, it's liberating.

But one warning: I was always a martial arts bum, thought I'd open a school to feed the vig. Then I realized I didn't want to prostitute my art for the money {teaching...children (baby-sitting)}. Then suddenly I was a lot older.

Learn how to make a good living. Then do your art for only you. Set reasonable goals. Like, every day above ground is a good day. I'm going to write more about this elsewhere.