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That’d be the ‘wiener dog’! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdVxbD41lV4

( Not sure if this should be in this general section or the teachers sections ? Mods, feel free to move it ) First, I am not going to try to sell you anything or 'sign you up' for lessons . This about the Tao te Ching ... not the Tao te Ka-Ching! ' Ch 1 . There is this thing . Its also not a thing . Also it is both a thing and not a thing. It also is neither a thing or not a thing. It is all of the above . But it isn't any of them . If you have dont want stuff well - that's a mystery ! If you do want stuff The whole manifested Universe awaits you . let;s say you have two spring rolls both may have the same sauce but they can have different names depending on whats inside them and that can be a mystery of mysteries . Ch 2 You think my sister looks hot but that's because Yo Momma be ugly. You guys can only see either end of the line . But the Sage just sees the whole line . You cant have stuff without no stuff. Stuff is just lines , not ends . Back always follows front otherwise you be chasing your own tail. Ch 3 If you flatter people they will try harder to impress you. If you overvalue stuff you will pay more for it. Try to please people and they will get suspicious. Forget what you know and what you want Stop doing stuff all the time ! Ch 4 If the thing is empty and has no source it cant run out alls it got is little potential n+ s and n- s that make nuthings . Then put your hara in the center of all that . Ch 5 the Universe is neutral Judgement is based on comfort . The space between heaven and earth is the atmosphere It can get windy Stick to the surface or you could get blown away . Ch 6 The valley here is under a 'Big Mom' dome . My teacher said just ask her for whatever you want - you'll get it . Ch 7 heaven and earth last forever Why do heaven and earth last forever ? I just told you it did stop asking questions. If you dont do anything you cant fail at it . Ch 8 be like water then you will be good for all living things and flow along without thinking where you are going who knows where you will end up ? But dont be an arsehole about it . Ch 9 Stop taking and using up all our stuff ! Dont re-tune your lawnmower if it doesnt need it. leave things alone , fer Gawd's sake ! Ch 10 if you can be like a baby woman thats good . (tbc)

I am merely fulfilling the moderators request ... and happy to deliver 'what the world has been waiting for ' .

Sounds like Gustav the pet Fairy Penguin . He was the pet of a surfer guy ( that found him at sea covered in oil . Cleaned him up and let him go but he kept coming back ) and used to hang around the wharf where we went fishing and give him the small fry . Boy could that little guy eat . One day we decided to see how many fish he could fit in there so just kept giving him the small fry and 'wharf' fish we were catching . Thing is the amount of fish he ate seemed bigger than the penguin ! and his stomach didnt even look big . We decided to stop before he did , thought we might explode him or something . a fairy penguin about to do a right hand turn ;

way back in the hazbin days,,,,one of my Great-Grandfathers (they were all great, but i digress) ran a hot dog stand in a small town of about 3000 folks, back then, under 1500 now, i digress again! and sold the recipe for his hotdog sauce to a local restaurant for enough money to move to portsmouth ohio and buy a corner store there. the restaurant, finally went out of bizness post circa 2000, but in its heydey, acheived local legendary status when a Mr. Alphonse Capone enjoyed a hotdog with sauce, fries, and a coke, on one of his many leisurely excursions to the bluegrass state. the restaurant got the fame as part of the recipe deal, and were still in bizness until after 2000.

If I understand correctly, this is a "variation" (as in music) not a "translation", am I right? There was a poet who wrote a book with several variations of the dream of the butterfly, by Zhuang Zi. Borges told him: "you have inaugurated a new literary genre: the variation". May be this production is in the same line.

His interpretation of chapter 1.

I was talking to some about national anthems , which lead me to say how we have one but many dont like all that allegiance to the Queen stuff so we wrote our own . Which is a great example of the 'classic Australian ' . It goes like this Aussie , Aussie , Aussie , Oi, OI , Oi ! Brilliant eh ? Especially when we have good song writers down her :

Fer sure ! cut in half length ways and inside toasted and with butter . One of these ; , BBQ bratwurst (or similar ) OR 'vegelinks ' fried onions, mustard, tomato sauce (Aussie style , of course ) Hamburger ? Try this ; mix mince with pepper and salt , a pinch of mixed Italian herbs ( NOT the 'English' mix ) and ground up (you can crush it in your hand and fingers ) Asian fried shallots make into patties ... Mmmmmmm .

Frolics

frocks

hair

In the basement of a former synagogue, now turned into an underground data center, gangsters were playing poker not for money, but for fragments of the Torah. Each fragment had been digitized, run through an algorithm searching for hidden letter sequences and, according to rumors, contained the coordinates of something that could not be named aloud: either the Messiah, the end of the world, or simply a very big contract. The main character, a man without a name (in the database he was listed simply as “Process 7”), was a nanotechnologist whom the mafia kept as a living compiler. He knew how to release nanorobots into the bloodstream that reacted to the letter codes of the Torah the way an antivirus reacts to signatures: a certain sequence of Hebrew letters made them assemble into structures capable of cutting metal, healing organs, or erasing memory. The problem was that the codes were not static. The text was “moving,” as if the Creator Himself were pushing updates. The gangsters thought it was an algorithmic error. Process 7 understood: the Torah was reading them, not the other way around. When the gang leader ordered the activation of the “final code” — a sequence of letters supposedly opening access to absolute power — the nanorobots, instead of attacking, began to build a three-dimensional model of the Tree of Sefirot inside his body. Keter ignited in the cerebral cortex, Chokhmah and Binah closed the neural circuits, and Malkhut manifested as cardiac arrest. At that moment the text of the story split into layers. In one version the gangsters died, in another they turned into marginal commentators on the scroll, in a third they realized that they themselves were nanorobots inside the body of an enormous God who was trying to remember His own Name. Process 7 stepped out into the street. Above the city a giant advertising screen was blinking: “THE WORD BECAME FLESH. UPDATE INSTALLED.” He no longer knew who was controlling whom — people the Torah codes, the codes the nanorobots, or the nanorobots rewriting reality itself like a badly formatted text.

A note by the bit quoted. The ‘Classical’ as used by the Chinese after the Han dynasty, is different from the Classical Laozi used. The Chinese kept using Classical next to the Chinese current in their own times. But over time elements of the current Chinese crept into their ‘Classical’. Post Han dynasty, the ‘Classical’ has become so different that it has been given a separate name, ‘Literal’.

Surrender.