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Hello I thought I would make a thread like this primarily because I don't think there has ever been one like this on TDB since its beginning. So yes I am a transgendered woman (assigned male at birth, now female). You may have known me on here previously as dmattwads. Understandably there is some confusion on here when people see old posts of mine talking about male cultivation practices. I realize that the topic of transgenderism is very poorly understood by the general public and so I decided to make a Q&A post. I will NOT however answer super personal questions about my body so its not an AMA (ask me anything). I will though be happy to answer well intentioned questions about what it means to be transgendered because there may be those out there that are questioning for themselves, know someone that is transgendered, or just want to understand this topic better. Maddie :-)

Psychedelics and some legalized drugs change your internal state via biochemistry. Conversely, meditation involves directly changing one's internal state, thus causing biochemical changes in the body. Drugs are worthless in cultivation. It is similar to taking a hammer, hitting yourself in the head, and then claiming to achieve a "trance," "samadhi," or "advanced" state of meditation. While some people claim there are many benefits, like reducing stress, tension, and sporadic thoughts, many people take it as a medical prescription for certain ailments. This is only partly true. You have to realize that a multi-billion dollar business is behind this, with strong lobby funding and "positive" research. I am pretty sure cannabis is doing some permanent damage to the human brain if you take it consistently over a period of time. Now back to the change of the state of mind, "helping in meditation", or any other spiritual claim of cannabis (THC), Ayahuasca and just about any other psychedelic. They are not even 1/1000 as potent as you can get through proper training and cultivation. If only people would train properly instead of searching for cheat codes and faster/easier ways to progress. Human potential is far beyond that. But how would you know it if your Guru smokes cigars, drinks whiskey, sits with murky eyes and a massive pot belly, endlessly talking nonsense about spiritual cultivaiton?

I do not know why a minority of people does not feel at home in their bodies, but it is a deep-rooted feeling. And not, what is often thought, a psychological or psychiatric phenomena. Although I guess that currently with all the eyes that are on the alphabet people, some nutty people have gathered under that flag that are mislead ( or worse, misusing it). I would also not rule out that currently some youngsters walk that path just because they can. But at its core these people exist and are now in a same sort of "societal transition-time" as I have seen gays and lesbians go through. Not being pushed into shame and unfit for society, but simply being accepted for having a different sexual attraction then the majority, not a psychiatric condition, no need to "cure" with conversion therapy, just accept us, as we are. I think that there are differences in the fleshbody to be found, but not yet looked for. looking at my own body as a young woman: hands and feet to big ( those feet have never fitted in girl or ladies shoes) too much musclemass ( and a joy to train) brain too analytical, all very unladylike and never have wanted to be that either. ( also hormone levels not fitting into the accepted levels for a female, allergic reaction to estrogens) One day medical people will find physical differences between cis and trans people and as such, when you do want to make groups I guess we will fit in much better with intersex people. here in western society we've tended to make intersex people confirm to being male or female as babies. So as to let them fit in with society. So it is society that cuts humans in 2 different halves and you're not allowed to be different from the norm. But older societies could not do that and have different ways of looking at and integrating ( or not) people diverging from the norm. the first part of my life I lived/masked as a boy/young man. During high-school that was problematic, but after that I became a mechanic and found the same sense of friendship and camaraderie I had with boys when still a child. Oh, they all knew I was a woman, but I was accepted as one of the guys, doing the same chores, and having the same joys. the second part I have tried to live as a woman, it was not successful and it has made me unhappy, the best choice i have ever made was divorce after the kid was of age. That kid interestingly, much later told me: mom, when I was a kid you really were more of a dad then a mom. I never had easy contact with girls, their interests were not mine and it was only deep into my forties that friendships with women developed. I clearly remember the moment when a female friend had to have surgery because of a very high risk on hereditary breast-cancer, a double mastectomy, she told me it hurt her so much as her breasts were part of her female identity just like with all women. I never told her, but at that moment i found myself thinking. Having no breasts would make me happy. Now during the third and last part of my life I am just human, the whole idea of man or woman, one way or the other, has left me. ----- Obviously this whole subject has had my interest for a very long time, I know several trans-people that you would not be able to spot, as they blend so well in the picture we expect with a certain gender. I guess most of us are just trying to blend in were we feel we belong and the portrayal of trans-people as pink and rainbowy dressed up people is cringy to me. there is grumbling about the prides too, too much rainbows and things. but I guess in essence what a pride is...the reversal of shame, I should be ashamed I do not fit in societal norms of what a girl should be, just as back in the days, gays should be ashamed to be attracted to a male, "that's unnatural" I will never forget the teacher that left my primary school because he was a homosexual. Although it was never said out loud by the grownups, all the kids were blabbing about it. Looking back, he was a very feminine man for sure. That was in the sixties lets not repeat such things.

Yin/Yang indeed lol. There have actually been a number of psychological changes that have occurred since I began transitioning. When I began my medical transition I was put on a combination of testosterone blockers and estrogen pills. This completely changed my body chemistry from male to female. This had a dramatic effect on my emotional life and perceptions. For one thing I cry much easier. Before as a man I would rarely cry, maybe once every few years. It wasn't that I was not trying to, it just didn't happen. Now I cry easily several times a week, and often for not obvious reason. This was one of the first changes I noticed. My sense of smell has become more sensitive as well. While many years of cultivation has made me sexually indifferent I perceive men differently than I used to. I used to be completely indifferent to a man's appearance aside from the obvious of realizing a well groomed in shape man was better looking than an unwashed bum (no offense Dao Bums). Now I find attractive men catching my eye in a way that they had not before. I am still not sexually attracted to them (nor am I to women) but I find them more aesthetically pleasing. Now here's one that I don't care for but you take the bad with the good. I have lost significant amounts of muscle strength, especially upper body strength. When I was in college I did jujitsu and did not find sparing with men to be difficult on a strength level, but now I am significantly overpowered when sparring with men. I guess the plus side is this forces me to rely on technique more, which is how its supposed to be in jujitsu lol. Those are a few of the more obvious changes that I was able to think of off the top of my head.

I'm more interested in seeing the advanced students rather than the master. They show if the system is learnable. Same with the martial arts, it's not the sensei you'll become, if you're diligent, it's the senior students under them. Are they talented, are they balanced? Or in the case of this thread, do they have similar 'powers'? The masters have given their whole life to the system, huge sacrifice. Top students give a few hours a day, everyday for decades.

When we think of both dream and supposed waking life, we think they are completely different. However they are different in stability but in actuality they are quite similar. I think analysing dream reality and uncovering it's rules helps us better understand waking reality. Those could say that waking reality is also dream reality just more stable. When we dream our minds projects a reality. Our 5 senses still work, we have a dream body. In most cases when we dream we treat the dream as real and experience suffering due to attachment as similar in waking reality. What's interesting is within a dream, when we come to the realisation we are just dreaming and all experience is unreal/illusion, our attachment to our situation is greatly reduced including our suffering. Looking into Dzogchen togal recently I couldn't help but question the current waking reality we exist in. Maybe just like in a dream, our bodies and dream is just a projection, in waking reality maybe it is no different. We are experiencing projections of our own mind, our body and senses are also projections. Maybe reality like a dream will have less of a hold on us if we start to believe it might not be as real as it seems.

@Salvijus Eh....I think it was courageous of Maddie to start this thread, and I´m glad it gave us the chance to ask questions and voice opinions about this sometimes divisive topic. It´s gone better than I would of predicted. I think it´s one thing to comment on the science, politics, or societal implications of transgenderism; and another thing entirely to weigh in on somebody else´s personal choices. Maddie says she´s happier now that she has transitioned and I see no reason not to believe her. The way I see it, personal experience always trumps (pun very much not intended) abstract spiritual theory about chi or ghosts or Buddhist doctrine. Maddie is happy, or at least happier, and I am happy for her. What more is there to say?

which bit of wanting a penis, a beard , a low voice and no boobs led you to this conclusion?

I would say it depends on the person. For some people, the invitation to give up effort and agenda may be just the thing. For some one else, it may not work at all. Imagine you're running and trying to stop, but you forgot how. One person can say, "well, just slow down more and more and you'll eventually stop." Some one can say, "Run even faster. Trust me." At first, these instructions seem to contradict. But if you run fast enough, you'll eventually exhaust yourself and stop naturally.

Thought I would share another thought I have. To me what is interesting/baffling about the transgender issue is the strong reactions and feelings it brings out in people. I don't really understand it.

Soto Zen teacher in the Shuryu Suzuki lineage here. Sorry if sharing this annoys anybody. I have practiced since 1990 in the Nyingma/Dzogchen tradition, and for the last 7 years in the Soto Zen tradition. Shikantaza is the same as Dzogchen - resting in enlightened mind. It is sitting without any crutch of a technique, allowing enlightened mind to be as it is, and is therefore the SAME as enlightened mind, only in most people there is no insight into its nature. The Rinzai teachers I am friends with would agree with this summation, only they would simply use the term "zazen" to refer to their meditation. Shikantaza, to me is a more specific and detailed assessment of what it means. I started sitting in Dzogchen at the age of 23 and it has been my primary practice until now. I was introduced to the non-dual "nature of mind"/beginner's mind/buddha nature at that time, and became increasingly better at this meditation until it "stuck", and a moment of complete non-dual insight opened everything up almost 10 years ago. Since that point, it has become a permanent perspective, supplanting the previous frame of duality permanently. Now mind is ALWAYS in shikantaza/dzogchen. IF you can practice by resting the mind in it's enlightened (actual) nature, I would do so as often as I possibly could knowing what I do now. It IS a very direct path to enlightenment for those that are able to see the non-dual nature, and have some faith in what it is. ALL of my 7 or so teachers (and their teachers) sat this way and realized the nature of things. It requires giving up on results, and the belief in agency, and requires a faith in the practice that comes from seeing that even BEFORE awakening it is transformative. Feel free to message me if you have any questions.

I think before things get to sidetracked and go down the rabbit hole of conspiracy or whatever else I want to redirect to what the actual issue is. A transgender person is born with a brain that is one gender and a body that is another sex. This isn't just speculation MRI scans show that the brain is actually different in transgender people. That being the case what doctors and psychologists say is the best and the only solution to what is called gender dysphoria is to transition one's body. I can attest that this is correct due to my personal experience. I tried to fight it over a long time by working on my mind and that did not work in fact it made my anxiety and depression much worse. Almost as soon as I acknowledged that I was transgendered and began hormone therapy and came out to live as I truly am this anxiety and depression ended immediately and I'm a much happier person in spite of all of the friction I get from society and my family. This is why people transition.

Not on this specific topic as much as on this among all others I'm not very trusting of the motives of those who promote anything that happens to be fantastically profitable for the medical cartel. The minds of the recipients of any and all of their offerings are manipulated very skillfully, in every possible area, and I'm not saying all of their offerings are corrupted by ulterior motives (money, power, 'fame and fortune' as a taoist would put it) -- but failing or avoiding to consider them as a factor is IMO a mistake in many cases. I don't know how sex/gender dysphoria would be different in this respect from a multitude of over-diagnosed, over-treated, mis-treated conditions going hand in hand with a multitude of under-diagnosed, under-treated, and again mis-treated conditions. I could give a million examples... For instance, antibiotics resistance is directly responsible for millions of deaths every year, yet research into new antimicrobials has been stagnating for decades, because, to quote a PubMed publication titled "There Is No Market for New Antibiotics," "By the early 1980s, private investment in antimicrobial research ebbed as a result of (...) a broader reorientation of private research and development (R&D) towards more focused investment in expensive yet lucrative noncommunicable (e.g., cancer and lifestyle) medications. The decline in private investment was exacerbated by the parallel closure of formerly successful public R&D efforts, as a result of the contemporary political emphasis on privatization and marketplace-oriented research." In other words, they figured they get more bang for their buck if they invest in chronic conditions requiring continuous indefinite (often lifelong) use of their medications. No one is interested in financing whatever can be cured by efficient new antimicrobials, hence their nonresearch, nondevelopment, and nonexistence. (And no media>public outcry despite an incomparably wider population affected.) Nothing personal -- they just don't care if millions die from this nonresearch and nondevelopment, as long as they can develop something that guarantees repeat customers. On the other hand, any agile kid bored with school will be diagnosed with ADHD in the blink of an eye -- and the fact that it was proved in court (sic) that there was indeed a conspiracy (sic) entered in by pharmaceutical companies and doctors aimed at overdiagnosing this condition was only mentioned in small print somewhere no one is looking... except the likes of me of course, because if I trust, I trust, and if I don't, I look closer. Cats and curiosity, you know... except I believe the proverb is misguided. Curiosity actually saved many a cat. They investigate instead of rushing into things headlong... but don't let me digress. So, I do believe that one has to look very very VERY closely in each case, and I agree with Snowmountains that Which of course would only be working if the psychiatrists weren't all indoctrinated and kickbacked in exactly the same standard of care, otherwise one or three or thirty is all the same. They will uphold whatever standard they are instructed to uphold and won't rock the boat. How do you protect a teenager, let alone a child (it's puberty blockers for children as young as 6, 7, 8 that are part of the current approach that make me go, Jesus quilt-knitting Christ...) in this situation? Like in any other -- keep your fingers crossed and spit thrice across the left shoulder?.. I've heard stories (youtube had many interviews, don't know about now, may have been censored) from young people who were brainwashed by parents who wanted a boy/wanted a girl and wouldn't give up despite the fact that the child they got was not the one they desired; by peers; by their own mistaking, due to young age and inexperience, of a plethora of gender-nonspecific behaviors and feeling (like an interest in a particular style of clothes of lack thereof) for specific for the opposite sex, and so on. I don't know. I asked a friend who is a psychiatrist with a lifetime of experience (in two very different countries) and a lot of compassion and caring. She told me she could help in 19 cases out of 20, and the remaining 1 in 20 was a case of genuine sex dysphoria, far as she was able to tell. I have no idea what these figures signify in the wider world though, but I suspect that out of some other 19 out of 20, some may not get a really good psychiatrist on their case -- let alone three of them -- and may regret the route they have taken. It is not an easy thing to resolve by cavalry attacks on "bias" and hasty irreversible interventions. But it's not different in this respect from many other things that are not easy to resolve. I think modern society in general is a helluva lot better at creating problems than at solving them.

I think this thread has been productive so far. There is a lot of misunderstanding about being trans as well as LGBTQ+ issues as well. Education is the answer! :-)

I tried the changing my mind route first. I fought and fought these thoughts and feelings and spent years trying to "meditate the trans away". What I found was that the more I tried this the worse things got and then that is when I had the epiphany that I mentioned previously about meditation being about knowing the mind as opposed to controlling it. When I let go of trying to control I had peace of mind.

I think the reason the topic of transgenderism brings out so many feelings in people is because it gets into the question of "what am I actually" which is relevant to everyone.

Hang on ... there's something about the formula 'old foggy = Apech' which I don't warm to. lol.

I get the impression that half of the problem is people getting their categorisation systems challenged and not being able to work that through. We've tended to think in simple binaries which suit majority experience but don't adequately describe the whole data set at a certain level of detail. I don't think about sex or gender much unless I'm forced to (working in Higher Ed makes it inevitable sometimes). Personally, I prefer an analogue model: sex and gender as a couple of sliders that can be at any point along a range and can change over time.

I so rarely find myself vibing with any of your opinions on social issues, but reading the post above I feel like sitting next to you on a park bench and being old foggies together. Lets get Apech. I´ll buy birdseed to feed the pigeons. (To be honest, I enjoy sexually themed shows. I liked Transparent. Back in the day, my best friend used to throw weekly Queer as Folk parties; we´d all huddle around the TV, eager to watch a sexy soap featuring gays like us. That was fun. But I do wonder if as a culture we´re overdoing the identity thing; are we a bit too quick to put ourselves and others into various ideologically bogged-down boxes? Let´s have (consensual, ethical) sex with who we want to have sex with. Let´s dress up in gowns or jeans or leather panties. Whatever. But do we have to make such a big deal about the name we give ourselves? Maybe our labels aren´t so important.)

Thank you for posting this Q&A. It might strike some people as odd that this topic confounds me a little. As a gay man, part of the alphabet soup of LGBTQ blah blah blah, a person might think I´d have a good idea of what it means to be trans -- but I don´t. Although we´re grouped together, I think gay people have as many questions about transgender topics as straight people do. At least I do. On the one hand: total respect. Coming out as gay was hard for me, and coming out as trans -- and actually transitioning -- strikes me as exponentially harder. It´s inspiring to see people summon the courage to be their authentic selves. So kudos to you, Maddie. What hangs me up a little is some of the language some trans activists would have us use in the name of inclusivity -- pregnant people and so on. Can men get pregnant? Can women have prostate cancer? I´ll admit: I struggle with this. One of my core values is kindness and the last thing I want to do is make trans people, or anyone really, feel excluded. So why do I have such a hard time accepting this new world where gender is completely divorced from physiology? I´ve been told that I´m closed minded and that´s certainly possible. Perhaps my future self will see things differently than I do now. Anyway, thank you for providing this space for me to share my thoughts. I welcome your response.

Respect for reaching out Maddie and offering to enlighten folks, I hope those who will benefit most will be receptive. My boss and dear friend of 20 years started her transition 2 years ago in her mid 50's. Seeing her unfold into her whole self has been such a gift and awakening for me to witness. We're blessed to work in an industry that is more aware than most so it's been a blessing for her. Peace!

I second that my friend.

What you are talking about is Jiu Yang Shen Gong, that is the method of using breath and intent to move Yuan Qi through the extraordinary channels. What it doesn't do is restore Yuan Jing, that is the stage of Zhushougong which is only being taught to a select few. Both of these practices fall under the southern void school of WLP. And for the others here who have some misunderstanding. There are both sitting, walking as well as standing methods in even the first level of WLP in the ancient Northern method. Source: Have studied YXP for 9 years and WLP for 1 year and 3 months.

Ignorance is in the mind, enlightenment is also in the mind. The Self was, is, and will forever be free.

Sunrise at Rainbow Point in Bryce Canyon with my son. He'd never seen anything of it prior. Conditions were absolute perfection. North Campground still open year round. As we were driving up into the snowline in the sleet he turned and said... "well now I know where the other half of my heart has been waiting for me this life..."

The skill comes naturally then?

The dharma traditions use a 2-truth Reality to reconcile True Nature, which is changeless (or empty depending on the specific path within the dharma family), and the manifest world of phenomena hinged on change. The model states as follows - There is an absolute reality which is beyond all categories and labels, names and forms, and is ever free, and is beyond space and time (and therefore change). This is our True Nature - pure consciousness. It is existence itself, it is being itself, it is peace/bliss itself. There is a phenomenal world, in which beings (such as you and me) come into existence, live out their lives, and die. This is the world of change - there is nothing permanent about this world except change itself. This is called the Relative Reality. How then can one reconcile the two? If one is true, the other must be false, right? Can there actually be two truths? The confusion is because we operate in this phenomenal world, and that which is called Absolute Reality isn't apparent at all. So, when we experience all phenomena (basically anything that is subject to change, has a beginning and end is called a phenomenon) - we can't really find anything changeless there. The confusion occurs as a consequence of looking for a "thing". Absolute Reality is not a thing. How then can one recognize/realize this Absolute Reality? (more later)

Then why do so many adult women squeak in this shrill high-pitched little girl's voice -- at least here in CA it seems to be the norm more than an exception?.. I have my theory... but I'll keep it to myself. I do find lower pitched voices more attractive -- by far. Just this past weekend I went hiking with two other people and on the trail a hiking family passed us going in the opposite direction, and the man was telling something to his kids in this very very low rumbling bass. After they went out of the hearing range, I instantly commented to my companions, "mmm... dark chocolate voice!" (I wasn't attracted to social advantages or the man himself, who was short and balding and not mine, just to the sound itself.)

I was listening to Nonduality by David Loy and this interesting passage from the Zhuangzi popped out:

man up nungali

Like many people, I´m not at all bothered by trans people. It makes no difference to me how someone else dresses, how someone prefers to be addressed, or what medical procedures they do or do not get. Why should it? I figure we´re all just trying to be happy, and if transgender people take steps to transition and that makes them happy -- more power to them. Things get a little more triggery, however, when advocacy on behalf of trans folk starts to upend my understanding of my own gender and how I see the world. Gender is at the very heart of what it means to be a human being. I think trans issues bring up strong reactions for some cis people for the same reasons that misgendering often brings up strong reactions in trans people: we care about how others see us. I recently read about an orientation at a college (Harvard, I think). Freshman students were asked to go around a circle introducing themselves and sharing their preferred pronouns. Thankfully, I won´t be enrolling in Harvard anytime soon so I probably shouldn´t waste too much cognitive space thinking about this. Still -- oh my God! I don´t want to have to give my preferred pronouns. I want for people to look at me and tell that I am a male. All my life people have looked at me and known that I´m a male and now suddenly they can´t? Or are not supposed to? This is profoundly discombobulating. Did you know that on some gay dating/hookup apps it´s no longer possible to filter people by trans/cis status? Let´s say I only want to meet hairy, fat guys like me. I can set up the app so that I only see profiles of "bears." I can even set up the app so that I can only see profiles of guys of a certain age or even guys of a certain ethnicity. What I can´t do is set up the app so that I see only profiles of guys that were born with penises. Does this strike anybody as odd? I assume the reason for this policy is that I´m not supposed to limit my dating/hooking up activity to guys born with penises. To do so would be wrong. To do so would make me guilty of the sin of transphobia. The world has gone nuts! And then there´s the whole "pregnant people" thing. In my mind, women get pregnant and give birth. I´m told there are lots of disadvantages to being a woman. They´re often paid less than guys for the same work. They are often expected to do more than their share of cooking and cleaning and childcare. There are entire countires where it´s arguably not safe for them to travel alone. But one thing women do have going for them is the pregnancy and giving birth thing. That is theirs. I don´t think it´s right to take that away from women and give it to people in general. None of these things are that big a deal in my actual life, granted. But trans issues are changing the culture in huge ways and not just for trans people. We´re all being asked to change. At the very least, that takes some getting used to.

I can confirm that meditation can indeed bring up deeply buried impulses and feelings. It´s terrible that way.

With the recent topic being about being responsible in vetting trans people before transitioning I absolutely think that kids should see a therapist and a doctor to make sure that it's a legitimate thing. I'm pretty sure it's a good idea for adults as well. I will say that since I began transitioning (although I can't say for sure) I feel like I have come across people who don't understand what it means to be trans and are transitioning any way. What I mean by this is I feel like to some people it's a fetish and the reason I say this is because they never talk about being trans without it being in a completely hypersexual context. And it causes me to think that there's a small percentage of people that basically just want to live a sexual fantasy but they don't actually identify as a different gender. Granted I'm not a mental health expert but if you spend time at the trans community I have a feeling you would know what I'm talking about. I've even had a couple of these ask me when I say that I am asexual, "then what's the point of transitioning if you're not interested in sex?" Yes I have a literally been asked to this by so-called trans people and it leads me to think that it's just a fetish for them. This is why I think a responsible vetting process is vital before people transition.

Somewhere in my anthropological studies I came across a map of the world showing ' permanent transgender identification in indigenous societies' .... 'across the board' , apparently , or as I like to say ' across time and locations ' . Seems its always been a part of the 'human condition' . I will try and find it and post it .

It's illegal in most of the world, as it should be, it's actually harming people. Eg it often causes depression. It's not just that it doesn't work, it's harmful.

There's no therapy and this is why it's not in the DSM. It's out of scope for therapy basically. Therapy is not there to somehow make people be like other people would want them to be. The only case where therapy has impact is when trauma caused a change in sexual preferences or gender. Therapy for trauma then may, change sexual preferences or gender but therapy never targets sexual preferences or gender per se and there's no such thing as therapy for sexuality or gender because they are not disorders. The "therapies" for changing sexual preferences from the 1950s were built around creating guilt complexes and of course these "therapies" just made people miserable, the impact was that patients were disgusted to have homosexual sex but this of course didn't make them desire heterosexual sex. Homosexuality was in the DSM for about 20 years because of some 1950s psychiatrists, while their ancestors ( eg Freud ) considered it a normal condition and their their successors also consider it a normal condition and removed it from the DSM. It's really a sad story which really was a human rights violation.

If I'm reborn as a human in the next life.. I will file a complaint. I want some time off. for my good or bad behavior.

Hi Maddie, Knowing the past history of this forum being populated by really deluded individuals borderline pathological, I thought you were one of them too by posting photos of a friend, girlfriend or relative. Please take no offence, I had no idea you were a transgender. All the best, Gerard

I realized I kind of glossed over this part of what you said. Something really important to understand when it comes to transgender issues is the difference between the gender and sex. Sex is a little more straightforward and it's based on physiology and genitalia. Gender is actually a cultural and psychological identification of the mind. The important thing to realize is that gender and sex are not synonymous and that the reason people who identify as a different gender than their sex transition is so that they can align their sex more correctly with the gender that they identify with. Another common misconception and important point to realize is that it's not a conscious choice just in the same way that sexual preference is not a conscious choice.

Yes I realize that a lot of this is very confusing, which is why I decided to make a post like this. Two important terms are "cis" and "trans". Cis is the Latin word for "same" while trans is the Latin word for "across". The transatlantic cable goes across the Atlantic ocean. So a cis-gendered person is one that identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth, which is by far the majority. So a cis-man physiologically can not become pregnant. A cis-woman can not have prostate cancer. A pre-op (one that has had no gender affirming surgeries) trans-man can become pregnant since they were born with a vagina, uterus, and ovaries. A pre-op trans-woman can get prostate cancer. Also trans people like anyone else can be gay and straight. A trans-woman fore example can be attracted to either men, or women, or both or neither just like a cis-woman can. I hope this helps answer your question and helps to clarify some of the confusion you have on this rather confusing topic. If you have any additional questions please feel free to ask.

Reported.

I was always fascinated by the way text behaved in dreams. I found out that instead of fruitlessly trying to focus my eyes on the symbols, i could just sort of ask the paper what it was trying to tell me

I was a teenager eating breakfast with my family at a small town greasy spoon. A very old couple sat at a nearby table; the woman leaned over to her aged sweetie and asked, are you still there? The man was truly ancient, or so it felt to my adolescent eyes, and it seemed entirely possible that he could have silently passed away while waiting for his bacon. Are you still there? Forty something years later the memory of that poignant moment is still with me.

No radio here, no TV, no more watching electricity.* ___________ *电视 diànshì -- TV -- is comprised of 电 "electricity" and 视 -- "to look at"

I don't recommend using the belly button as a reference point because that can vary depending on physical build and body habitus. Better to use the kidneys as a reference for locating ming men, at least that is how I was taught.

Powerful observations stimpy. The dream like quality of awareness in the aggregates of life has been with me since earliest childhood. My first conscious memory in this life was a dream so intense, that then led to an out of body experience. It forever imbued in me the dream like state of awareness as it interacts with the five aggregates and the indelible fact that my body is not the source of awareness... rather the body arises within awareness. Awareness is what is... all else arises and shifts within this... The nature of my experience in this waking life seems inextricably linked to the projections of mind, the conditioning and assumptions derived from conditioning. It is all so ephemeral, even the shared dream of waking life. One small insight can utterly transform my experience and interpretation of all that i encounter in 'the real world'. And my experiences in the dreamscapes have been at least equal to my awareness experiences in waking life in their ability to inform me about my own true nature due to how i react to stimuli and what this reveals about my nature. Due to this I have innately been predisposed to see the natural connection between the sleeping dream state and the waking dream that we all share as being layers of one overarching process, not seperate states. Even the manner in which we 'come online' in waking life is similar to how I become aware in the dream state. When i become lucid in dreams... the dream is ongoing, having already begun and i find myself in the midst of a process and then become aware of it. Similarly, the first few years of life are foggy but at some point in early childhood, our lucid awareness 'comes online' so to speak and we begin to form memory and the ability to have what we experience through awareness to inform and imprint upon us. The manner in which i awakened into reality mirrors exactly the manner in which i become lucid in the dream state nightly. Dzogchen was an immediate draw due to its deep, intimate exploration of the waking and sleep states of consciousness. The work of Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche in particular in his book Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep, has been a potent companion to my lucid dream work over the years. If you're not familiar, there is a fantastic film called Waking Life, that explores the dream like nature of waking and sleeping life. My son and i revisit it once a year or so and it never ceases to inspire some potent conversations and exploration. Thanks for sharing mate... this topic is near to my core.

Ah it’s gonna be one of those threads is it?