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I've been thinking lately about how much the porn industry and media impact our life.

Just taking a look about the most used websites in different countries, the porn websites holds the top 5 most visited websites. which means that a lot of people use the internet to access porn and sexual  contents. The majority of porn users are men and youth according to some statistics.

 

in other words, the porn industry have a very big impact on our daily life and affects the way we feel, we see ourselves, the opposite or same sex and sexualize our social life.

Of course, with porn comes masturbation, and it is the addiction of the century, it is the technique used by the mind in order to escape feelings and emotions that arises, ending up with a need to release the dopamine and not deal with these deep issues.

 

Masturbation makes you blind.

 

Most of us, when we were young, we laughed at when we were told that masturbation will get you blind, because we thought that blindness meant to describe the inability to see with our eyes, and it was proved that none of the people who mastubate became blind because of masturbating.

but blindness, is not referring to the eyes vision, it is more of consciousness and awareness of our own selves, our own emotions that point us to the deep traumas and issues registered in our subconscious and body. and that masturbation is an escapism due to the dopamine that is pumped in our brain due to orgasm make us avoid dealing with our internal issues.

 

Energy and cultivation

 

According to my observations, i did notice that porn affect a lot emotions in terms of making us objectify other people and enhance separation and decrease the ability to understand the person beyond the physicality. Also, masturbation does render the focus/intent very loose, it can be noticed if someone practices vipassana meditation, (where you scan the body and feel it with your focus) focusing and sensing of the body parts becomes very hard and superficial.

 

Also, in masturbation Jing gets depleted and it is known that it is one of the 3 treasures of Traditional chinese medicine. 

 

all of my male friends, watch porn a lot and have developed fetiches and want to get into a relationship to experience all of those positions and fetishes that are extreme and have gained a lot of weird sex beliefs and seems like how the majority of people think and believe.

 

Also, i have noticed that the body by itself doesn't get turned on sexually, a person becomes horny due to thoughts that were activated due to stimulus: porn, media, pictures, imagination or a dream. 

 

Also, Porn industry has added a lot of exotic values like "you must lose virginity before a certain age" "you should experience this fetish, that kind of person, size, height...." "jerking off is a must and healthy" "sex is very important" "size matters" .....etc of other values and ideas.

 

What do you think about what is going on in our society and how the people are being programmed into a society that is primarily motivated by sex through the encouragement of mastubation and porn? how is it affecting our love life, spiritual life and our ability to think clearly, focus and make progress in our life.

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I think most of the 'programming' is already hard wired into us.  Our 'obsession' with sex, I think its in every generation, certainly young adults.   As far as porn, I'm in the everything in moderation camp.  I'm not much of a user so I don't really notice any programming.  Certainly anything illegal or underage should be closed down and punished.   

 

Once you get past adolescence I hope people mature beyond, you must 'this or that' or this size is sexy and that size isn't.  I don't like that on either side of the fence.  If anything seems to me there's less porn then there used to be.  In the 1980's every movie needed a gratuitous nude scene, magazine shops had porn issues, I don't see that as much.  Though HBO hits are generally filled with sex and violence.  Course I prefer sex to the violence.   

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I think most of the 'programming' is already hard wired into us. Our 'obsession' with sex, I think its in every generation, certainly young adults. As far as porn, I'm in the everything in moderation camp. I'm not much of a user so I don't really notice any programming. Certainly anything illegal or underage should be closed down and punished.

 

Once you get past adolescence I hope people mature beyond, you must 'this or that' or this size is sexy and that size isn't. I don't like that on either side of the fence. If anything seems to me there's less porn then there used to be. In the 1980's every movie needed a gratuitous nude scene, magazine shops had porn issues, I don't see that as much. Though HBO hits are generally filled with sex and violence. Course I prefer sex to the violence.

There's "less porn than there use to be"?? What?! Used to be you had to at least make an effort or spend money to find it. Now all it takes is a click of a mouse to find almost any sexual act imaginable. I think we are just starting to uncover how harmful it all is to the human brain. Mostly because of how hyper stimulating it is now. I mean you reference magazines in your post. That's like a cup of coffee whereas internet porn Is like freebasing cocaine.

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Hm... victims of porn thread. We should have a victims of marihuana thread, victims of religion thread, victims of meditation thread, victims of chocolate thread and so on. They all have something in common and this something is the dopamine in your own brain. So basically whatever you do, you are victim of your own dopamine in your own brain.

 

The only thing that keeps dopamine in check is the serotonin, so if you keep serotonin and dopamine high, everything is good.

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Hm... victims of porn thread. We should have a victims of marihuana thread, victims of religion thread, victims of meditation thread, victims of chocolate thread and so on. They all have something in common and this something is the dopamine in your own brain. So basically whatever you do, you are victim of your own dopamine in your own brain.

 

The only thing that keeps dopamine in check is the serotonin, so if you keep serotonin and dopamine high, everything is good.

true there are many stuff that could affects us in increasing dopamine.. but porn... interfere more in the social life beyond all religions and addictions.. it affects the way we see a partner or the other/same sex and objectifying and makes us loose energy and motivation in day to day life and could lead to erectile dysfunction, so yeah.

 

I m not saying other addictions are not bad, at the end it is an addiction, but it is the most popular but it is related to some kind of basic need, need for love.

 

OH and it is FREE.

Edited by Shad282

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Two things that are true about our culture...

 

(1) We are very sex-negative.  (Also sensuality-negative, body-negative, earth-negative, woman-negative -- one big mess of interrelated negativity.)

 

(2) We watch a lot of porn.

 

Weird, right?  You`d think that we`d have to be really sex-positive to watch as much porn as we do, but that`s not the case.  And here`s why: it`s negative attitudes about sex (and embodiment generally) that drive porn use.  We don`t watch porn because we love sex so much, however much it might look like that; we watch porn because we are disconnected from our true sexual desires, disconnected from our bodies, and mostly because we are so deeply ashamed of ourselves.  

 

So, porn is a little bit like quicksand in that the more you fight against it the deeper in you get.  The answer isn`t to become vehemenently anti-porn.  That attitude, while understandable, easily morphs into the sexual shame that only leads to more porn use.  So what does work?  Compassion towards self and others.  Mindfulness.  Gentleness.  

Edited by liminal_luke
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I think victim is too strong of a word. No one is forcing you to rub one out. 

Edited by OldWolf

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I'm reading some of this incredulously...  where are the stats that show the great "WE" are watching a lot of porn...   At first, I thought this thread was more a confessional... which is ok too...   but I'm more surprised a staff person moved it from off-topic to General.... now reading the responses, it seems most folks are taking this serious in a sense.     Nice :)

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I'm reading some of this incredulously...  where are the stats that show the great "WE" are watching a lot of porn...   

 

Well, maybe not the "we" of Taobums.  And lots of people don`t at all, ever.  But as a society (here in the US) I think it`s true.  Not that I have stats to back it up or anything.  You disagree?

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I'm reading some of this incredulously...  where are the stats that show the great "WE" are watching a lot of porn...   At first, I thought this thread was more a confessional... which is ok too...   but I'm more surprised a staff person moved it from off-topic to General.... now reading the responses, it seems most folks are taking this serious in a sense.     Nice :)

the stats are available all over the internets, many reports i went through and many psychology articles that provide review of porn and its effect on society. i'm not making this up, you want proofs or annual statistics reports, google is your friend. 

 

No, this thread is not confessional, it represents an observation and analyses of what is going on. I requested the staff to move the thread into this category because i posted it by mistake in off topic.. 

 

It is not related to off topic, because i m relating porn industry on how it is affecting the energy, practices from meditation to other forms. 

 

I don't see why people won't take serious, since it is something that most of people have experienced (porn and masturbation). 

Edited by Shad282
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Two things that are true about our culture...

 

(1) We are very sex-negative.  (Also sensuality-negative, body-negative, earth-negative, woman-negative -- one big mess of interrelated negativity.)

 

(2) We watch a lot of porn.

 

Weird, right?  You`d think that we`d have to be really sex-positive to watch as much porn as we do, but that`s not the case.  And here`s why: it`s negative attitudes about sex (and embodiment generally) that drive porn use.  We don`t watch porn because we love sex so much, however much it might look like that; we watch porn because we are disconnected from our true sexual desires, disconnected from our bodies, and mostly because we are so deeply ashamed of ourselves.  

 

So, porn is a little bit like quicksand in that the more you fight against it the deeper in you get.  The answer isn`t to become vehemenently anti-porn.  That attitude, while understandable, easily morphs into the sexual shame that only leads to more porn use.  So what does work?  Compassion towards self and others.  Mindfulness.  Gentleness.  

 

I agree with you, because if we see the rate of views and likes on porn videos... we notice that videos with aggressive, pain, domination, rough.. that contains violent actions or  tricking has the highest rate and most viewed rank.

But at the same time, in porn videos, they show you that this pain, aggressiveness, domination, feels very good and it is something great and that the other/same sex really likes to experience it. making you believe that other people like to feel pain even if they deny it.

 

I'm not sure people watch porn because they feel disconnected from their sexual desires. because you see people that  keeps watching porn even after being in a relationship, and sometimes prefer porn and masturbation over having sex with a partner. and in many cases, porn addiction or mastubation addiction turns into sexual addiction... in other words, even if the person is comfortable with his own body and sex and having a lot of sex, orgies and making his fantasies come true... once he is not able to have sex, the person revert back to porn and/or masturbation.

 

so, it is the same issues that exist but different escape tools. so it is a matter of an escape from something an issue maybe or so that is not necessarily related to sexuality/body.

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There's "less porn than there use to be"?? What?! Used to be you had to at least make an effort or spend money to find it. Now all it takes is a click of a mouse to find almost any sexual act imaginable. I think we are just starting to uncover how harmful it all is to the human brain. Mostly because of how hyper stimulating it is now. I mean you reference magazines in your post. That's like a cup of coffee whereas internet porn Is like freebasing cocaine.

True.  Anything that hits the brain reward centers so directly has a chance to get addictive.  I think the middle ground is best, neither 'it's evil and you'll go blind' or 'do it all the time'.   Some sort of middle ground or perhaps a little more on the disciplined side.  At best it can add spice to a relationship, at worst it becomes a substitute for one, even a barrier. 

 

We are the middle of a new age, ie in that it is so easy to get, in every computer and smart phone.  In the 70's and 80's magazines were .. coveted.  Even earlier there forbidden nature made them desirable, there were many publishers.  With such easy access to porn, absolutely free, its.. boring..?  I've always found adult films, boring, redundant, I know how they end.

 

Maybe the problem is modern isolation.  Less courtship.. 

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True.  Anything that hits the brain reward centers so directly has a chance to get addictive.  I think the middle ground is best, neither 'it's evil and you'll go blind' or 'do it all the time'.   Some sort of middle ground or perhaps a little more on the disciplined side.  At best it can add spice to a relationship, at worst it becomes a substitute for one, even a barrier. 

 

We are the middle of a new age, ie in that it is so easy to get, in every computer and smart phone.  In the 70's and 80's magazines were .. coveted.  Even earlier there forbidden nature made them desirable, there were many publishers.  With such easy access to porn, absolutely free, its.. boring..?  I've always found adult films, boring, redundant, I know how they end.

 

Maybe the problem is modern isolation.  Less courtship.. 

not how it is a good idea to balance in watching something that is not that useful and had a lot of negative side effects. 

because it is hard to use porn consciously and mindfully and if you did, it will result of not turning you on at all, and kinda useless... at least for me. porn is created to communicate with your subconscious rather than your consciousness. 

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Porn = Lust = Porn = Lust = Porn

 

Excellent article about this topic:

 

http://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/judaism/2002/08/is-lust-only-natural.aspx

 

Deep down you are longing for the 'forbidden fruit' (using Christian terminology),

for sensual desire that weakens the Heart and one of the major forces of rebirth, an act you have

been relentlessly performing for countless lifetimes (Buddhism), sex depletes the Jing, heats up the

Wood network triggered by the Heart's desire and in turn backfires, this weakens and hardens the Heart depleting the Kidney network, and ultimately Jing, Qi, Shen, lifespan is decreased and one no longer can enter a state of Wuji necessary to return

to the primordial Dao (from a Taoist perspective).

 

Porn is another product of maya, Mara's greatest ally, the perpetual

state of illusion the Mind strives for since it hates impermanence and horrified of entering the eternal state of Oneness, that is nirvana, rebirth no more, the end of duality, no more Yin and Yang. Sex is just the Mind's greatest tool to maintain the state of duality. Celibacy is something the Mind detests, but with great determination and wisdom the serious practitioner will win the battle.

 

Porn is sexual desire in excess, don't we all live in a world of excess: stress, overwork, consumerism, etc.

 

I reckon Mara is having a lot of fun with us 'weak' and 'docile'

modern humans!

 

:)

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I am having a hard time with the use of the word victim in this instance. How can we call ourselves a victim if we are continually and or consciously returning to something for gratification? Is it someone else's fault that we as humans do not have self-control in a given set of circumstances? Is it the porn star's, web developer's or your ISP's fault that you made your way to some website, or is it your own that you typed and clicked your way there and made the choice to view the material? There is a power button on every electronic device.

 

That being said, a good amount of self-determination is in order to move past habits or addictions to achieve the goals we have set for ourselves. We cannot blame others for our actions, habits or addictions especially if we have the cognition to identify that it is a problem.

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This is in the same sense that an alcoholic is a victim of alcohol addiction. Sure, they could theoretically physically avoid alcohol with supreme will power that lasts forever...but it's easier to suggest to do that, than it is to be in their shoes and try that strategy.

This being said...never be a victim about anything in life.

 

How to strive toward freedom...

It's easier to control what we pay attention to, than it is to control our lust and desire for release. We can choose to not pay attention to images that stir up our lust.

If lust does get stirred up, we know from experience that repression, guilt and shame, feeling like a failure for not succeeding in celibacy, etc, are not helpful things to cultivate.

It really must be continually cut off at the source...by distracting attention away from things that stir up lust.

While it's easy to say this, and easy to implement for a while...the trick is continuing on this path over time.

Celibacy is no joke, for a normally functioning male. Attempting it will give you precious insight into all of the ways in which we sabotage success...you will fail all the time.

Something else to consider - sex in a healthy relationship is good.

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I don't think you should get hung up on anything. If you forbid something and moralise over it, you create an obsession with it. Take everything very lightly. Cultivate kindness and a peaceful mind and these things work themselves out. Don't go to any extremes. When something goes to an extreme it reverses.

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This is in the same sense that an alcoholic is a victim of alcohol addiction. Sure, they could theoretically physically avoid alcohol with supreme will power that lasts forever...but it's easier to suggest to do that, than it is to be in their shoes and try that strategy.

 

This being said...never be a victim about anything in life.

 

How to strive toward freedom...

 

It's easier to control what we pay attention to, than it is to control our lust and desire for release. We can choose to not pay attention to images that stir up our lust.

 

If lust does get stirred up, we know from experience that repression, guilt and shame, feeling like a failure for not succeeding in celibacy, etc, are not helpful things to cultivate.

 

It really must be continually cut off at the source...by distracting attention away from things that stir up lust.

 

While it's easy to say this, and easy to implement for a while...the trick is continuing on this path over time.

 

Celibacy is no joke, for a normally functioning male. Attempting it will give you precious insight into all of the ways in which we sabotage success...you will fail all the time.

 

Something else to consider - sex in a healthy relationship is good.

 

I m not sure distracting our attention away from pornography is the way to solve it... rather it is better to dig down and try to find the causes for making us want to watch porn and more deeply the category and type of porn reflect different deep issues. it is not about controlling but more of understanding the internal reasons. 

 

Also, you are describing it as it is impossible to go into celibacy as you said "you will fail all the time", i would like to ask why?

 

and it is not easy to know whether the relationship you are having is healthy, because there are many details should be considered in order to know whether it is healthy or not. and also, you should know whether you or your partner's perception of sex is healthy and no obsession and other details too...

 

but seems a lot of people fear celibacy or view it as something hard and rough, could be due to society over encouraging pair-love and finding the other half and that special person and it is the mainstream and it was encouraged in religions, making celibacy as something outsider wrong, lonely, negative or maybe strange.

 

I don't think you should get hung up on anything. If you forbid something and moralise over it, you create an obsession with it. Take everything very lightly. Cultivate kindness and a peaceful mind and these things work themselves out. Don't go to any extremes. When something goes to an extreme it reverses.

 

True I'm not going extreme, but it shouldn't be something encouraged and marketed masturbation and porn. I m not sure if it is logically to say to someone, a schedule to watch porn and masturbate. what if this person watches  porn that is violent and aggressive, hurtful and objectifying. 

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Also, you are describing it as it is impossible to go into celibacy as you said "you will fail all the time", i would like to ask why?

 

I never said impossible. Why I said that - personal experience and honesty.

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In another thread, you said you wanted to cultivate jing, chi, and shen. How does talking about porn help you cultivate? Your awareness keeps returning to the subject matter at hand.

 

 

Talk more about penguins. Seriously. :)

 

penguin-day-3.jpg

hahaahha I LOVE !! penguins ! 

 

But I stopped masturbating and watching porn in order to cultivate the jing... so it is part of cultivation by discussing my observations and what i read with other people concerning this topic that is related to cultivation of jing :P

I think now the puzzle is clear. :)

 

I am having a hard time with the use of the word victim in this instance. How can we call ourselves a victim if we are continually and or consciously returning to something for gratification? Is it someone else's fault that we as humans do not have self-control in a given set of circumstances? Is it the porn star's, web developer's or your ISP's fault that you made your way to some website, or is it your own that you typed and clicked your way there and made the choice to view the material? There is a power button on every electronic device.

 

That being said, a good amount of self-determination is in order to move past habits or addictions to achieve the goals we have set for ourselves. We cannot blame others for our actions, habits or addictions especially if we have the cognition to identify that it is a problem.

 

Yes we do have a choice to stop, but it really depends on our level of consciousness and awareness. because it is everywhere, from internet to social media to media tv...., sexual stuff are used to get your attention.

 

I m not sure the solution is:

- turn off the internet, block all pages,

- turn off the TV

- don't look at billboards

- don't look on ads that are in magazines, newspaper and those in buses or metro stations.

- ....etc

 

you can't just close everything and live disconnect from your environments because every space that exist, ads are there.

 

and this happens from since we were born... maybe you were not born in a time where ads and media is everywhere and has a wide range.. but nowadays kids are born in a society full of ads, media, values that socialize them in this way and affect their beliefs and not all kids have parents or have good parents. 

 

so yes they are Victims, for being socialized in a world where media uses sexual contents to market products, idea, services...etc.

 

in my post i m trying to understand what are the common reasons to people go weak toward porn and masturbation, and the reasons that causes them to become addicted to it or make sex as a very crucial thing to have. and discussing its effect on energy level, consciousness, awareness.... 

Edited by Shad282

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I never said impossible. Why I said that - personal experience and honesty.

maybe for you... your own experience, could be for other easier than your own experience. 

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Yes we do have a choice to stop, but it really depends on our level of consciousness and awareness. because it is everywhere, from internet to social media to media tv and everywhere, sexual stuff are used to get your attention.

 

I m not sure the solution is:

- turn off the internet, block all pages,

- turn off the TV

- don't look at billboards

- don't look on ads that are in magazines, newspaper and those in buses or metro stations.

- ....etc

 

you can't just close everything and live disconnect from your environments because every space that exist, ads are there. 

 

and this happens from since we were born... maybe you were not born in a time where ads and media is everywhere and has a wide range.. but nowadays kids are born in a society full of ads, media, values that socialize them in this way and affect their beliefs and not all kids have parents or have good parents. 

 

so yes they are Victims, for being socialized in a world where media uses sexual contents to market products, idea, services...etc.

 

And we have a choice to not stop anything...  accept all things.. allow all things... therein is freedom not victims... 

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hahaahha I LOVE !! penguins ! 

 

But I stopped masturbating and watching porn in order to cultivate the jing... so it is part of cultivation by discussing my observations and what i read with other people concerning this topic that is related to cultivation of jing :P

I think now the puzzle is clear. :)

 

 

Yes we do have a choice to stop, but it really depends on our level of consciousness and awareness. because it is everywhere, from internet to social media to media tv...., sexual stuff are used to get your attention.

 

I m not sure the solution is:

- turn off the internet, block all pages,

- turn off the TV

- don't look at billboards

- don't look on ads that are in magazines, newspaper and those in buses or metro stations.

- ....etc

 

you can't just close everything and live disconnect from your environments because every space that exist, ads are there.

 

and this happens from since we were born... maybe you were not born in a time where ads and media is everywhere and has a wide range.. but nowadays kids are born in a society full of ads, media, values that socialize them in this way and affect their beliefs and not all kids have parents or have good parents. 

 

so yes they are Victims, for being socialized in a world where media uses sexual contents to market products, idea, services...etc.

 

in my post i m trying to understand what are the common reasons to people go weak toward porn and masturbation, and the reasons that causes them to become addicted to it or make sex as a very crucial thing to have. and discussing its effect on energy level, consciousness, awareness.... 

 

I am still having a hard time with victim as a general term, but I do get what you are saying.

 

I think you have to take a step back and not generalize that everyone living in the world today and their exposure to sexuality makes them a victim.

 

At the end of the day, we, as adults, are responsible for our own actions and reactions to what is in front of us. In your OP, you specifically mention victims of pornography. My perspective is based on porn and adult interactions with it. I just do not see how one can be victimized by their own conscious actions. We can not feign the victim when we have placed ourselves in front of something that harms us, and once we realize it is detrimental to our goals and continue, because it feels good or scratches a specific itch. I will take it further to say that one is looking for a scapegoat instead of looking within themselves if they are laying blame on society or anything else. That's like saying the devil made me do it. Ultimately, it all begins and ends with us, and no one else when it comes to cultivation.

 

Once we identify an attachment or obstacle (anything, not only related to sexuality) it is then that we sit with it in meditation or some other practice to release it in a way that fulfills some portion of our set agenda. Being still and quite in a mindful way with ourselves is a pretty powerful thing. Reaching our goals in cultivation is not all sunshine and rainbows, it can be tough, even brutal at times, to face ourselves, take responsibility, to forgive ourselves and move on knowing ourselves more intimately. Personally, this has been some of the most difficult parts of my practice.

 

No matter what is in your way, you can overcome it. :wub:

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