I want to spend the rest of my life meditating and training in neikung

[Aetherous]

I'm of the opinion that if you want to meditate all day, you should be free to do so...even if it's just an attempt to escape reality, and even if it means meditation won't be fruitful...or whatever else. It's about making a choice and just doing it, and seeing how things change.

 

I think going the hermit route would be best. Pretty much anywhere you go has people with all of their quirks...a monastery or something similar would just have the same old stuff. Someone wanting you to get out of meditation to ring a bell, or make food, or whatever.

 

So doing it totally on your own in the wild is best. Then it all comes down to how efficient you are at keeping yourself alive. Like: it'd be a good idea to make a garden that will support you, and have a back up plan for if animals eat all of your food or something. Or: you probably want a shelter that won't be destroyed by the weather, and will keep you warm in the cold months at night.

 

So a lot of preparation would have to go into it.

 

Whatever you do, good luck.

[Ryan T.]

Meditation is the only time I feel truly at ease.

 

"Stillness in stillness is not the true stillness."

[thelerner]

Years ago I read a description about what I considered the true Zen bum. He lived in California, in a small shack. It was unheated and without electricity, but immaculately clean and filled with precious but simple things. He meditated, hung out w/ friends, worked part time jobs when he needed money. Most of all he kept his life very simple and lived it on his own terms.

 

I vacationed once on the island of St. Lucia. The weather is beautiful, all the beaches public, the people are friendly. Walking along the beach I saw a small ramshackle hut, tin roof, misc. boards for walls. But it was beautifully decorated and painted. There were lines of conk shells defining its drive way . Again I thought this person knows the secret.

 

So, I think your dream is possible. But, in my mind those 'bums' were competent in our world and made the conscious decision to drop out of it. I think if you can't get along in 'this' world, and think of bumming as an escape, you may find your problems follow you. maybe.

 

 

Michael

[solxyz]

I dont understand why people are being so critical of MorePieGuy's intention. Leaving aside the tangle of social commitments in order to cultivate is a traditional path, and one that is recognized for leading to great spiritual development.

Just because he doesnt want to live the kind of life that most of us are living doesnt necessarily mean that he is "running away." Maybe he just knows himself well enough to know his calling and now he is taking responsibility, creating for himself a path that is not easily provided in this society.

 

My advice is to look into seasonal work. If you work hard all summer, with little to no time for cultivation, you can have enough money to get through the rest of the year without any job. Then you can live most anywhere you want. I was doing this for many years, working in the fishing industry in alaska. Another good option is fighting forest fires.

[mYTHmAKER]

IMHO Goldisheavy in general you are too in your head and give advice and opinion without

any understanding or substance - as if you know what you are talking about -

which is not the case.

Hopefully most people won't take you seriously.

You can't spend your life reading about water and never actually getting wet or submersing yourself.

Edited April 2, 2009 by mYTHmAKER

[TTT]

What about this: http://www.himalayanacademy.com/ssc/hawaii...life/howto.html

[Dainin]

Everyday Life Is the Path

 

Joshu asked Nansen: "What is the path?"

 

Nansen said: "Everyday life is the path."

 

Joshu asked: "Can it be studied?"

 

Nansen said: "If you try to study, you will be far away from it."

 

Joshu asked: "If I do not study, how can I know it is the path?"

 

Nansen said: "The path does not belong to the perception world, neither does it belong to the nonperception world. Cognition is a delusion and noncognition is senseless. If you want to reach the true path beyond doubt, place yourself in the same freedom as sky. You name it neither good nor not-good."

 

At these words Joshu was enlightened.

 

 

Mumon's comment: Nansen could melt Joshu's frozen doubts at once when Joshu asked his questions. I doubt though if Joshu reached the point that Nansen did. He needed thirty more years of study.

 

In spring, hundreds of flowers; in autumn, a harvest moon;

In summer, a refreshing breeze; in winter, snow will accompany you.

If useless things do not hang in your mind,

Any season is a good season for you.

[DaoChild]

I dont understand why people are being so critical of MorePieGuy's intention. Leaving aside the tangle of social commitments in order to cultivate is a traditional path, and one that is recognized for leading to great spiritual development.

Just because he doesnt want to live the kind of life that most of us are living doesnt necessarily mean that he is "running away." Maybe he just knows himself well enough to know his calling and now he is taking responsibility, creating for himself a path that is not easily provided in this society.

 

He's not simply talking about leaving the 'tangle of social commitments'. Obviously he has a lot of bitterness and hatred towards society. That is a subjective judgment he is placing - meditation should help to rid the mind of subjectivity, instead 'reflecting like a mirror' what it sees. I'm not saying you can't be misanthropic -- but true understanding of the world is found in objectivity.

 

If you feel like your time is running out, I hate to break it to you - it won't get better. As I recall, you said you are 23. What's the rush to liberation, enlightenment, whatever you want to call it? If you view it as a competition (Must get there before I have to repeat this bullshit all over!), I'm sorry to say it's going to take you even longer.

 

I respect your decision - but I firmly believe that if you continue to practice internal cultivation (and acceptance of the world) you'll probably gain much more than going somewhere else.

[Mattimo]

Pie Guy,

 

It seems you haven't found the balance. Getting aways from what it reality is not the answer.

 

Respectfully, reality is how YOU define it relative to your own existence. Moreover, THE answer is YOUR OWN coclusion. Moreover, how can one even say "getting away from reality" when one is in fact still in reality?

 

Granted, I am certain most people with similar aspirations as More_Pie_Guy might not have what it takes, nor even thought things through. However, there is a possibility he knows what he wants and what he is doing.

 

And I support you in your decision More_Pie_Guy

 

Good luck!

[Trunk]

.. how can one even say "getting away from reality" when one is in fact still in reality?

Rightee-o.

 

I seriously wonder if I will be able to ... meditating only a few hours a day.

In the beginning, a lot of effort goes into opening up and it seems like it's never enough. In later stages, the difficulties kind of reverse: You're so open that you look for ways to ground and to be able to 'digest' well the immense meals that are coming through you. One of the best ways to speed things up (to open through the beginning stage) is to spend time with an enlightened teacher, regularly, at least until you open considerably. You soak in the high-vibe, and things change. Then a "few hours" of meditation a day will be probably more than you can stand, literally, on multiple levels. Physical work in nature provides a very healthy balance for that inner work.

 

The monastic and hermit traditions provide models for preferred lifestyles. Whatever modifications you do to those to suit your needs & means, apply your diligence and creativity.

 

It's just a fact o' the world that you'll probably have to put in a long course of work in order to set yourself up how you'd like. At least that's how it is for most of us.

 

good sailing,

best of luck,

Trunk

Edited April 3, 2009 by Trunk

[松永道]

[goldisheavy]

goldisheavy,

 

Have you become really comfortable with your own mortality?

 

Well, maybe not 100%, but I am waaay more comfortable with it than most mortals on this planet.

 

Have you looked your own death in the eye and honestly asked where your priorities lie?

 

Every day! This is essential in my contemplation.

 

What is it you wish to accomplish with your time here before your inevitable death?

 

This is a hard question, because my goals are not concrete. My goals are formless, abstract. I wish to accomplish total freedom and utmost unexcelled wisdom. I wish to manifest every manner of ornament to accompany wisdom as well.

 

memento mori! I have and I realize I don't really give a shit about anything in this world. It is an illusion, and death is inevitable. The only thing that matters is liberation, and helping others do the same.

 

I don't care if sally joe got pregnant by bobby lu. I don't care about this weeks American idol. I don't care about anything in this world. It's all one giant neon distraction, keeping us from doing the only meaningful thing we can do. Life is all fun and games, till you realize it really is an illusion. I am assuming you actually enjoy living, in which case good for you. If and when you realize what a colossal bunch of bullshit everyone and everything in this society are, you'll get burned out too.

 

No shit, eh? So you've just realized this? Welcome to the club.

 

Being myself doesn't really work out so well here in the "real" world. If I want to hold down a job and have a place being friendly and amiable is a requirement. I just hate being a lie.

 

Don't lie. Be honest. No matter the cost. No matter the cost. No matter the cost. Do it. And I say this -- as long as you have kindness, you will be very surprised as to what will happen. You probably believe the world will punish your honesty and force compliance. In reality the world will bend around you and conform itself with your way. As long as you don't try to rape the world, as long as your honesty is a kind honesty, even if your honesty is different from others, then a way will be miraculously made for you. Believe me. This world is a magical illusion.

 

Pissing away your life for peanuts is bad enough, pretended you like it and the fucking retards you work with is torture. It's even worse to know your time is running out, and another round of this bullshit awaits you if you don't make it out this time.

 

Well there is truth in that. So stop pissing it away. But think about this. If you go in some cave, you'll make even less than peanuts. So if you think peanuts are bad, wait till you see your cave salary. And if you think people don't respect you enough now, wait till you get all dirty and smelly and disfigured by your over-zealous newbie hermit practice. Sheeeeeeyyyaaatt... You know nothing.

 

You have a good heart and your aspiration is very close to mine, so you should listen to me. You will be able to rule the whole world in time. But don't jump off the 2nd story window thinking you can fly! First learn to fly. If you think you can fly, just fly up from the ground. If you can fly up off the ground, only then jump off the 2nd story window. If you fail to fly up off the ground, you won't hurt yourself. But if you immediately assume you need to jump off a steep cliff, you'll just trash your body and get reborn into a similar world. Why? Because you need to purify your subconscious mind to eliminate every last chance of being born in worlds/realms similar to this one.

 

blah... I barely scratched the surface. In any case, I repeat again. I think your meditation is out of proportion with contemplation. Meditation is like walking. Contemplation is like seeing. So right now you are walking or even running blind. And you want to run faster. What you need is a good set of eyes to see. You need contemplation.

 

Dude. You seem super angry. That isn't going to go away just by going away into a cave and "meditating"!

 

How can you even begin to think about helping others to "liberation" when you have such obvious contempt for people?

 

He has contempt for people's behaviors and choices and for people's lackluster appreciation of wisdom. I am sure he recognizes the human potential and that's what grieves him. He sees the disparity between the full potential and what is currently displayed by people, and he also sees the lack of dedication that people have for wisdom, and that's what disappoints him. That's my guess.

 

I don't think calling it "contempt" is correct. You're drawing a really DUMB caricature of a complicated feeling. It's not really contempt at all.

Edited April 3, 2009 by goldisheavy

[Trash Filter]

More pie how are you

 

Have been reading your posts and i really can understand how you feel very well. Many people who have to do slavery on this planet feel the same way and are being inventive to find ways of getting less impact from the system that controls most of us.

I understand how you wish to be able to just focus on meditation, and i dont think this is something we should feel guilty of. Nor should we feel guilty that we are not so much into society and socialising in certain ways.

I dont think more pie shuns responsibility or feels he is more then any other. i think he just can see an ideal.

 

However, be it as it may, we live in a different time then 1500 years ago, where we must all work to awaken and try to unite these worlds together. Where we could use technology to do our menial repetitive jobs, so we can focus less time being distracted into doing survival related duties like the system intends, and focus more on meditation and more powerful work. Indeed i believe by human nature, meditation like activities are built into our function and should be of focus.

[Sunya]

thank you More Pie, you've taught me through your posts why the Mahayana school of Buddhism evolved from Hinayana, and is viewed as higher (Greater Vehicle vs Lesser Vehicle).

 

i mean no offense by this. i also feel the same way sometimes, dealing with people can be tough when you don't have much in common, but i've recognized that when I act/feel this way.. it's just my own self-contraction.. my own selfishness being projected.

 

I suggest you study the Bodhisattva ideal and try to understand why it is higher than the traditional Indian (Hinayana) model of escape to a cave and 'transcend'. "samsara is nirvana" "form is emptiness, emptiness is form" these are important, very important. that which you are trying to avoid is that which you are aspiring to, kind of ironic.

 

edit: VERY ironic.

 

 

do you get what I mean? I can try to explain if you don't understand Buddhist terminology

Edited April 3, 2009 by mikaelz

[Mal]

[de_paradise]

MPG can use this negative propulsion to do more meditations. (yes, negative motivation is just as good as positive motivation, which he also has alot of, perhaps you guys don't see it) If he does a year of what he's talking about then he will be vastly better off than just trying to seek some kind of living-in-society-harmony that alot of people on here are trying to get at. Why? Because not all of us were born with wide open qi channels and we have to spend time doing the meditations. Im not criticizing any of the responders, but I see this as unskillfull advice. You can quote whoever great sage all you want, but behind the great sage was years of devoted practice BEFORE the re-integration with society, where every moment is meditation blah blah blah. Your advice may go a long way in rationalizing your own thinking and life (and perhaps watered down practice), but does not utilize the bhakti of MPG to help him, and just comes across as deflating. The Mahayana adept starts out in the monestery as well; ask a Zen monk next time if he is relatively cut off from society with their baldy cut and grey uniform sitting in a meditation hall most of the time.

 

In sum, go for it MPG. Read some Bodri and Nan, they are very inspiring--because I guarantee you 99.9% of everyone else will not be so encouraging. As far as the lifestyle you want, you are 2 steps away, if only you allow it to happen.

Edited April 3, 2009 by de_paradise

[Sunya]

yes i agree... personally i see nothing wrong with joining a monastery... as long as the intention is pure and its not done to escape the real world and the people living in it.

[wudangspirit]

I see your point but I hope you are just not experiencing a deep state of depression. I say what I say from the heart to another human being. If that is your Tao that is your Tao.

 

Do you have enough $$$ to get yourself to China? If so, maybe some of your friends here at Tao Bums can arrange something for you.

 

Tao Bless,

 

Wudangspirit

 

I want to live a minimalist existence. I don't like people and socializing. I do not think a 40 hour work week is conducive to my spiritual goals, so I am seeking to change my environment. I am willing to work a few days a week, and I don't want to be a parasite on anyone. I fail to see how this is running away from anything.

Meditation is the only time I feel truly at ease. I don't like most people, but then again people who seek liberation aren't most people.

[Thunder_Gooch]

To everyone with actual advice, Thank You.

 

To everyone with criticism for my views on humanity, your thoughts have been noted.

 

To goldisheavy,

 

I don't think brutal honestly would seriously allow me to accomplish my goals and only stand hinder them. Losing a job isn't going to help matters. I need a place to shower and wash my cloths and cook my food, in order to maintain a job. Also being brutally honest about my world and religious views e.g. the world we live in is an illusion, or the idea of self is an illusion all identities and therefor people are illusory etc would most likely wind me up in a mental institution for some sort of dissociative disorder even those are valid Buddhist concepts. Even though institutionalization might have some perks, having my neurons fried out with neurotoxic chemicals and violent electroshock therapy would most likely end any chances of liberation this life-cycle.

 

This whole existence is a giant game, those that don't play by the rules set forth by this society are violently punished, and swept under the rug to keep them out of the site of other people. People caught in this illusion have a vested interest in maintaining it.

 

So I have a role to play here if I want to maintain some degree of freedom. I have to pretend to be a normal person, I have to look and act respectable to maintain employment, I have to chum it up with my roomates and help them with their daily drama. I don't really see an alternative, unless I were to inherit some large sum of money or win the lottery.

 

Sure being myself, and being honest might feel good and be liberating in a psychological sense, it would (or so I believe) have the opposite effect in a spiritual and real world sense.

 

I see your point but I hope you are just not experiencing a deep state of depression. I say what I say from the heart to another human being. If that is your Tao that is your Tao.

 

Do you have enough $$$ to get yourself to China? If so, maybe some of your friends here at Tao Bums can arrange something for you.

 

Tao Bless,

 

Wudangspirit

 

wudang,

 

Maybe you could watch the original planet of the apes and that movie idiocracy each about ten times, then go to sleep. Maybe you would dream a dream of being trapped in a society of ignorant shit flinging apes, and being dependent upon their society for survival. Every day pretending to be one of them, but in your heart knowing your not.

 

I don't really know if china could offer me anything I don't already have. There society seems worse in terms of personal freedom than ours. I am sure they might have some great masters there, but I have no idea how to find and test them, if I did find one I deemed advanced enough, he would have no obligation to teach me.

 

 

Why didn't the living out of your car work out for you? Seems like it could be suitable arrangement.

 

 

 

My biggest complaint about car living, was when I experienced a breakdown for more than a day I was homeless. The cost of car repair and maintenance, and rental fees still is very expensive.

 

Also having to keep a gym membership to shower, and eating mostly canned foods, run ins with police asking why I am parked in some rural isolated dirt road, police harassment in general, all take their toll on a person.

 

I decided in the end it was less of a hassle to live with other people and have a place to shower, wash clothes, refrigerate and cook food, than it was to live in my car.

Edited April 3, 2009 by More_Pie_Guy

[steve]

Something that might be of value, if not, please ignore -

 

The rest of your life doesn't exist - only now exists.

Rather than worry about what you're going to do in the future, why not take a walk?

Smell the smells, enjoy a sunset, drink a cup of tea - only really be there with whatever it is you are doing. If you are able to do that, a moment of mindfullness is every bit as meaningful as a lifetime of cultivation.

The rest of it will work out the way it is supposed to.

The universe will provide exactly what you need.

Good luck

[goldisheavy]

I don't think brutal honestly would seriously allow me to accomplish my goals and only stand hinder them. Losing a job isn't going to help matters. I need a place to shower and wash my cloths and cook my food, in order to maintain a job. Also being brutally honest about my world and religious views e.g. the world we live in is an illusion, or the idea of self is an illusion all identities and therefor people are illusory etc would most likely wind me up in a mental institution for some sort of dissociative disorder even those are valid Buddhist concepts. Even though institutionalization might have some perks, having my neurons fried out with neurotoxic chemicals and violent electroshock therapy would most likely end any chances of liberation this life-cycle.

 

This whole existence is a giant game, those that don't play by the rules set forth by this society are violently punished, and swept under the rug to keep them out of the site of other people. People caught in this illusion have a vested interest in maintaining it.

 

Ha. I used to believe like you. I guess I won't be able to change your mind at this time. But I'll say this anyway, because not to say it is to lie to myself. You must have conflicting ideas about reality. On one hand, you seem to agree that all appearances are illusory, but on the other hand you vest the people within your field of experience with real essence/substance. In reality, the appearance of people is empty like a horn on a rabbit or like turtle fur. But don't take my word for it. In order to have an authentic realization of this fact, you must see it for yourself through contemplation and through performing magic deeds that involve other people, and then you'll be convinced in an authentic manner. So, it stands to reason, that the system that you rail against, is also illusory.

 

You think your brain has chemicals in it? And you think that those chemicals affect how you think? This might also imply that you fail to see the role of mind. I can't tell this for sure, but it does seem like you see the mind in the role of a victim rather than in the role of a Lord. Do you believe the brain makes the mind, or do you believe the mind makes the brain, and everything else? The way you talk about the brain indicates to me large gaps in your contemplative practice. It seems to me you are over-meditating and under-contemplating, and that's why rash desires grab hold of you so easily.

 

So I have a role to play here if I want to maintain some degree of freedom.

 

A gold chain is still a chain. A favored slave is still a slave.

 

You have no role to play here. You MAY play a role here if you like. But you are not obliged to play any particular role.

 

I have to pretend to be a normal person,

 

No you don't. You're taking this onerous task upon yourself of your own free will. Why? It's due to delusion as the primary cause. Delusion produces fear and you react to fear by 100% compliance.

 

It doesn't occur to you that this world is a flexible appearance. You can live with 70% or 80% compliance and you'll breathe much easier. You don't have to rebel against everything. You don't have to be brutally honest about everything all at once. Let the process be gradual. Do it gently, kindly, one step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your innermost light. Be kind to others in a way that doesn't hurt your innermost light.

 

You produce an idea of removing yourself from mundanity because you don't see it as something you can mold. You see it as something that's inflexible and set in stone. The world is funny. The world tends to confirm what you believe. Believe the world is made of stone, and it's like wearing stone shoes. Killer on the feet and legs, heavy, cold. Believe the world is malleable, and it's like wearing leather shoes. They might rub you a little bit before you break them in, but once you wear them for a little while, you cannot feel them on your feet. They are light and feel natural. This makes a huge difference in real life.

 

People, conventions, systems, all this is your mind's ornamentation. It is your rightful possession. You CAN play with it. Not because I allow it. Not because it's written somewhere, but because you CAN. In other words, the ability is inherently yours to exercise. You choose not to exercise it due to strong obscuring delusions. More meditation is not the solution to your ignorant mind. Meditation is good when you have some insight. Your insight is in need of much work.

 

I have to look and act respectable to maintain employment, I have to chum it up with my roomates and help them with their daily drama. I don't really see an alternative, unless I were to inherit some large sum of money or win the lottery.

 

Sure being myself, and being honest might feel good and be liberating in a psychological sense, it would (or so I believe) have the opposite effect in a spiritual and real world sense.

 

Yea, I used to believe that too. You are a victim in your own mind. You feel oppressed by the world. It's constraining, suffocating and heavy and you want out. And that's good! That's better than being asleep at the wheel thinking that shit has the taste of chocolate. At least you see shit as shit. That's progress. Don't give up.

 

Now, are you hung up on neikung? I think it's much easier to get into a Buddhist monastery than it is to find a place to practice neikung. An option that exists is to enter any monastery at all, Buddhist or otherwise, and practice neikung in secret. There are also some non-denominational retreat locations in USA. Look up Richard Rose and see where the path leads you. Those people might have non-denominational retreat locations available and if any of them keep Richard Rose's spirit, they're as hard core as you want to be. Look up Tom Brown's teacher. His only possession was a knife and he traveled all over both Americas. You can do that too you know? He was what we might now call a "survivalist". If I understand correctly, Tom Brown still teaches today. If you want to be really hard core on your own, you can take those classes.

 

Now, if you must have neikung and only neikung with a Chinese master, then have you learned Chinese yet? I have a friend who left into the desert with only a his clothes, a pair of sandals and some friends and nothing else. He survived. He found a teacher in the desert of Arizona (if I understand him correctly) who taught him Chinese neikung. How? Why? I have no idea. The world is a miraculous place. Why the fuck would there be some guy in the desert like that? I have no idea. Don't ask me. Anyway, my friend ended up learning Chinese and moving to China. He got odd jobs in China and studied with Chinese masters. And you can do this too. Are you serious? Then do it. Nothing is stopping you. You can go live on Wudang. But you will need to speak Chinese and it won't be easy, because you won't be the only one trying to go live on Wudang. That's why I was trying to save you some trouble and point you in the inner rather than outer direction.

 

Don't tell me you got no inspiration and no advice. You heard plenty now.

[trailmaker]

Yes sure most of us have thought about it, but for me the truth is only so much of that is valuable as you still need daily life to test you and what delusions you are still living with.

Its why I think a path combined with hard physical activity even better with Martial Arts stuff as all the fearlessness that is developed on the cushion gets tested for real.

 

A balance of both retreat and interaction i think is good.

 

Otherwise get yourself to Asia living here is cheap you could spend 2 or 3 years on Emei mountain or Wutai for very cheap money couple dollars a day living and eating.

Simon

 

 

hi simonintaiwan et al - many excellent responses above, and simon's is closest to my thinking in a few words.

 

years back i built a homestead in the woods in new hampshire, usa, and made it self-sufficient enough

to spend very little at the store for luxuries like salt, bathroom tissue and the odd jug of highland single malt.

 

vigorous lifestyle, plenty of time for meditation, and it sure is great going out to 'meet the tiger' when

you've got that 'mountain' to return to!

 

best of fortune, pie guy.

[Mal]

 

This whole existence is a giant game, those that don't play by the rules set forth by this society are violently punished, and swept under the rug to keep them out of the site of other people. People caught in this illusion have a vested interest in maintaining it.

 

So I have a role to play here if I want to maintain some degree of freedom. I have to pretend to be a normal person, I have to look and act respectable to maintain employment, I have to chum it up with my roomates and help them with their daily drama. I don't really see an alternative, unless I were to inherit some large sum of money or win the lottery.

 

Got to agree with you there But I enjoy playing the game, although it's a bit depressing that not many other people notice they are trapped in a game.

 

I though police harassment might be the issue too. Plenty of places to park but they love to wake you up to see if "you're o.k." (I sometimes sleep in lay always when traveling on my bike.) Once they know the vehicle they will pick on you all the time. Perhaps a combi van rather than a car for a bit more comfort and a journey to a more remote location? Its pretty hard to find remote enough to escape those helpful authorities ...... Perhaps just wandering about till you find somewhere that you can fit in, working weekends to get gas money.

[sahaj]

India is a place to go, this sort of life is respected,supported and traditional. There are many ashrams that you can stay by donation or a very small fee. The question is, can you handle living in India?

[Thunder_Gooch]

Ha. I used to believe like you. I guess I won't be able to change your mind at this time. But I'll say this anyway, because not to say it is to lie to myself. You must have conflicting ideas about reality. On one hand, you seem to agree that all appearances are illusory, but on the other hand you vest the people within your field of experience with real essence/substance. In reality, the appearance of people is empty like a horn on a rabbit or like turtle fur. But don't take my word for it. In order to have an authentic realization of this fact, you must see it for yourself through contemplation and through performing magic deeds that involve other people, and then you'll be convinced in an authentic manner. So, it stands to reason, that the system that you rail against, is also illusory.

 

You think your brain has chemicals in it? And you think that those chemicals affect how you think? This might also imply that you fail to see the role of mind. I can't tell this for sure, but it does seem like you see the mind in the role of a victim rather than in the role of a Lord. Do you believe the brain makes the mind, or do you believe the mind makes the brain, and everything else? The way you talk about the brain indicates to me large gaps in your contemplative practice. It seems to me you are over-meditating and under-contemplating, and that's why rash desires grab hold of you so easily.

A gold chain is still a chain. A favored slave is still a slave.

 

You have no role to play here. You MAY play a role here if you like. But you are not obliged to play any particular role.

No you don't. You're taking this onerous task upon yourself of your own free will. Why? It's due to delusion as the primary cause. Delusion produces fear and you react to fear by 100% compliance.

 

It doesn't occur to you that this world is a flexible appearance. You can live with 70% or 80% compliance and you'll breathe much easier. You don't have to rebel against everything. You don't have to be brutally honest about everything all at once. Let the process be gradual. Do it gently, kindly, one step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your innermost light. Be kind to others in a way that doesn't hurt your innermost light.

 

You produce an idea of removing yourself from mundanity because you don't see it as something you can mold. You see it as something that's inflexible and set in stone. The world is funny. The world tends to confirm what you believe. Believe the world is made of stone, and it's like wearing stone shoes. Killer on the feet and legs, heavy, cold. Believe the world is malleable, and it's like wearing leather shoes. They might rub you a little bit before you break them in, but once you wear them for a little while, you cannot feel them on your feet. They are light and feel natural. This makes a huge difference in real life.

 

People, conventions, systems, all this is your mind's ornamentation. It is your rightful possession. You CAN play with it. Not because I allow it. Not because it's written somewhere, but because you CAN. In other words, the ability is inherently yours to exercise. You choose not to exercise it due to strong obscuring delusions. More meditation is not the solution to your ignorant mind. Meditation is good when you have some insight. Your insight is in need of much work.

Yea, I used to believe that too. You are a victim in your own mind. You feel oppressed by the world. It's constraining, suffocating and heavy and you want out. And that's good! That's better than being asleep at the wheel thinking that shit has the taste of chocolate. At least you see shit as shit. That's progress. Don't give up.

 

Now, are you hung up on neikung? I think it's much easier to get into a Buddhist monastery than it is to find a place to practice neikung. An option that exists is to enter any monastery at all, Buddhist or otherwise, and practice neikung in secret. There are also some non-denominational retreat locations in USA. Look up Richard Rose and see where the path leads you. Those people might have non-denominational retreat locations available and if any of them keep Richard Rose's spirit, they're as hard core as you want to be. Look up Tom Brown's teacher. His only possession was a knife and he traveled all over both Americas. You can do that too you know? He was what we might now call a "survivalist". If I understand correctly, Tom Brown still teaches today. If you want to be really hard core on your own, you can take those classes.

 

Now, if you must have neikung and only neikung with a Chinese master, then have you learned Chinese yet? I have a friend who left into the desert with only a his clothes, a pair of sandals and some friends and nothing else. He survived. He found a teacher in the desert of Arizona (if I understand him correctly) who taught him Chinese neikung. How? Why? I have no idea. The world is a miraculous place. Why the fuck would there be some guy in the desert like that? I have no idea. Don't ask me. Anyway, my friend ended up learning Chinese and moving to China. He got odd jobs in China and studied with Chinese masters. And you can do this too. Are you serious? Then do it. Nothing is stopping you. You can go live on Wudang. But you will need to speak Chinese and it won't be easy, because you won't be the only one trying to go live on Wudang. That's why I was trying to save you some trouble and point you in the inner rather than outer direction.

 

Don't tell me you got no inspiration and no advice. You heard plenty now.

 

 

Gold,

 

 

I guess being myself means focusing on achieving liberation above all else, its like a battlefield and my objective is to win at all costs. It seems to be pretty true to my character to pretend to be something I am not, if I thought being honest would jeopardize my chance of success.

 

To be honest with you man I fail to see your point at all. Be yourself even if it means your own death, basically that's what I am taking away from your posts. Well lets assume being myself meant not being able to keep a job, home or out of a mental institution. My priority is liberation, and losing my home, my car, my job, and being locked away and drugged and having my brain fried with electricity doesn't really seem like a viable method for doing so.

 

I've got a little challenge for you, go up to a jerk ass cop that harasses the shit out of people and speak your mind. Tell him he is a fascist nazi pig, and deserves to have the shit beat out of him. See how far being openly yourself gets you. I don't think you could believe your way out of that one.

 

I am sorry man I honestly don't get your point. How is burning my bridges that lead to my goal, going to get me closer to my goal? Does Not Compute Will Robinson.

 

I view the brain and the mind relationship like a candle and a flame. To be honest I do not know if damage sustained by the physical body also effects the spirit after death. From what I have experienced its my conjecture the spirit is itself still a biological entity. If a caterpillar is seriously damaged before it pupates, I would assume that at least some of that damage would be reflected in its adult butterfly stage. I am not a biologist so if I am wrong don't hold that against me. In either case I don't want to risk it. If being myself means permanent incarceration in a mental institution and having my brain fried out via electroshock, I'll pass on being myself. I know its an illusion, but I'd rather not put myself through such hell if I could help it.

 

On my conflicting ideas about reality. I'll say this the map is not the territory, our brains are map making machines, we each make a map of reality based on our limited experience, but again that map isn't the territory.

 

You see right now I am in my character. I honestly don't know how to interact with others and not be in character. I don't even know where to begin to do that. It's kind of like wanting to talk to people on the internet but not having a keyboard, mouse, microphone, or any other form of input device. If I want to communicate with you I need to have a character to do the communicating.

 

I guess I am just frustrated. My ideal lifestyle is doing as I please with no commitments to employers, or society. That would not be possible without winning some huge lottery or finding someone else to both support me completely and leave me alone. All of which are highly unlikely.

 

My next ideal lifestyle would involve finding somewhere I could live alone, and afford working 2 days each week or less.

 

What I have right now involves working mon-friday spending most of my pay on stupid expenses beyond my control, and saving the rest in hopes maybe one day many many years from now I can afford to buy land, build a home, and become mostly self sufficient, at which point I will have about 1/3 of my life left (maybe if I am lucky) to pursue my real priorities. This may be my only realistic option, but God Dammit Man! I don't want to be and old man by the time I really have the means to get serious about my practice.

 

On the neikung front, I've only seen a few schools validated, and I already am training in them. I don't have the desire to travel to try to personally validate and study other schools and masters. I've got all I need for the time being, and I'm not interested on further discussion on this topic.

 

When I am more advanced that will become a consideration.