dwai

How are you?

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I feel totally in between something and something.  Out with the old, out with the new.  The border between the things I feel are gone forever and the things to be gone soon is a strange place to be, but I've a hunch it is going to get pretty densely populated eventually.  For now, it's not exactly a desert and not exactly a picnic.  In between.  

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So many outlets that we use to blow off steam are shut down.  There's a general stifling.  An invisible blanket of increased anxiety hangs over us. 

 

I've picked up the bad habit of following covid statistics.  Good news, currently the trend of new cases is down, bad news 920 died yesterday.  Such study is an abyss, and sometimes the abyss stares back, whispering horrors. 

 

On the other hand.. I'm good.  Bored.  My family is doing well.  I'm taking long walks, listening to audio books, doing some stuff with friends.  Yet its been a lost Spring and Summer.. and Fall ain't shaping up to be better. 

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I am doing well.

 

Spending a lot of time with family.

A blessing I never expected at this stage of life. Both adult kids back home, with their dogs. A second chance for me. I was a bit of an absent father at times, the source of some of my deepest regrets in life, and we’ve been through some terrible family traumas when the kids were young. Being all together is astonishing! I am so deeply grateful. I hope others can find this sort of silver lining in relation to the pandemic.

 

Returned to playing some music, which I’d gotten away from for a good while. One of those things I can sort of put at a distance, avoiding it if certain conditions aren’t met. Waiting for a good ‘fuck it!’ to get me in gear again, which has happened.

 

Getting a lot of satisfaction from my work. After 29 years, it’s still surprising at times but there’s an ease and a certainty that allows it to flow. The fear is not there much anymore, working in the Covid environment. People are a bit more appreciative than in the recent past and seem to see a healthier, more grounded perspective about the value of life and what’s worth sweating.

 

Being here is weird. I’ve felt like a pariah since beginning to moderate. I expected it from the last time but nothing prepares you for the abrupt change in one’s relationship to the community, mostly in a not-so-good way. Helping people with tech stuff, to the limited degree I’m capable, is satisfying. Feeling the frustration, and pent up anger, seeing all the long-standing baggage and feuding, the lack of empathy, patience, and support, all of it is disheartening. It certainly offers lots of negative energy for practice. 

 

The recent negativity from rene, while certainly understandable, was painful. I genuinely miss many of the folks who’ve gone and while I sometimes joke about the whole thing I mean them no harm, it’s mostly painful for me hence the poor attempt at humor. So many broken relationships over ideology, not to mention the horrific ideology itself and its consequences on vulnerable lives.

 

My practice has been a huge support and there are so many opportunities to study and practice with others online. The pandemic offers  such enormous potential for deepening one’s practice, whatever that may be, at so many levels. While I acknowledge all of the pain it has brought, I am deeply grateful for its lessons.

 

I really appreciate you starting this thread dwai. You’re a good dude. Here’s to coming together as a community and helping one another through tough times.

 

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

 

 

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It´s been tough, this whole pandemic thing.  While my life hasn´t changed much outwardly, I feel the general stress in the air, so much uncertainty about what comes next.  As always, I´m trying to improve myself through diet and my various spiritual practices.  Wish I was one of those people who let´s everything go and enters a state of profound grace and love but so far no.  Maybe someday.  

 

I´ll share a bit of the journal entry I wrote this morning in the hopes that it strikes an amusing chord....

 

This journal, like so many of my journalistic efforts in the past, will document my attempt to secure health and happiness through various wellness practices, medically sound and otherwise. I´d call it Distaster Diet: Food For Apocalyptic Times but that implies an overly narrow focus on cuisine. Wellbeing is 80% kale salad, 15% pushups, 5% someone to cuddle with while binge watching Survivor. I do however stand by the assertion that cataclysmic change is afoot. Why else would I be eating broccoli? Last April, during the Spring of Naive Hope, I thought surely the pandemic would be winding down by now. Guess again. Obesity is a major risk factor for severe coronavirus complications so I´m in a race against time to slim down before getting infected. The last thing I want to do is burden my family with the cost of an oversize casket.
 
Speaking of caskets, homosexual sex hounds have been laughing in the face of death for decades now and if you think the latest bug will deter us you need to wake up and smell the poppers....
 
The entry goes on from here but takes a less family friendly turn better saved for another day. ;)
Edited by liminal_luke
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27 minutes ago, liminal_luke said:

... The last thing I want to do is burden my family with the cost of an oversize casket.

 
Speaking of caskets, homosexual sex hounds have been laughing in the face of death for decades now and if you think the latest bug will deter us you need to wake up and smell the poppers....
 
The entry goes on from here but takes a less family friendly turn better saved for another day. ;)

 

I remember the first time someone stuck a popper under my nose, totally unexpected. She looked like Grace Jones. Wow!

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5 hours ago, old3bob said:

"in the year 2525"... yet every moment is a gift.

I must-

In the year 2020-

 

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2 hours ago, daojones said:

Pretty shit right now.

Losing my sanity and losing my body.

Hang in there. This is a time of great change. Is there any way we can help you through these difficult times? 

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My moderator friends, don’t despair about the drama that ensues whenever a tough decision needs to be made. There are those of us who appreciate your difficult role and also observe some of the “inmates’ revolting under new management” :) 


 

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2 hours ago, steve said:

 

I remember the first time someone stuck a popper under my nose, totally unexpected. She looked like Grace Jones. Wow!

Only poppers I know of are jalapeño poppers ;) 

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@dwai Much appreciated, but not sure theres much to be done unfortunately. The systems I need help from continue to spite me with apathetic glee.

Been a member here for some time now, and its nice to have a home that I can always return to.

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4 hours ago, thelerner said:

I must-

In the year 2020-

 

 

i had no idea that song was out there,  made me grin in spite of all the  terrible things going  down in the world...

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7 hours ago, daojones said:

Pretty shit right now.

Losing my sanity and losing my body.

Well. try being aware of your body. or your limbs.

if you do not feel well in your body. try to heal it somehow.

Or concentrate part of your body that is ok...

Or concentrate on tan tien and put your hands on it. (Collect energy)

or be aware of body posture.

Try to avoid triggers that makes you lose your body.. look for things that make your feel stronger.

See if any of these work. Get experience...in improving your situation.

 

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Just started working as a doctor. There's a lot of new things to learn and it can feel quite overwhelming, especially balancing that with also doing my internal arts training. 

 

But when you get to treat and help a healthy and happy for life 99-year old woman, it makes the world of a difference :) 

Edited by anshino23
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12 hours ago, steve said:

Being here is weird. I’ve felt like a pariah since beginning to moderate.

 

I apparently missed all the drama while I was gone.

 

As a moderator myself on another forum, I can relate having to deal with "normal crap"

but after the crisis , the purge,  and etc, I cannot imagine ...

 

I find it incredibly sad that  a forum that is supposed to devoted to positive spiritual practices and enlightenment is not more supportive of those who labor at keeping the forum floors and plumbing clean!

 

You sir, and the others on the team have at least my support.

 

 

12 hours ago, steve said:

So many broken relationships over ideology, not to mention the horrific ideology itself and its consequences on vulnerable lives.

 

That's a very good reason that many forums ban political topics. It is often safer and saner.

 

Please feel free to PM

 

walk in beauty

shunka

 

 

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3 hours ago, anshino23 said:

Just started working as a doctor. There's a lot of new things to learn and it can feel quite overwhelming, especially balancing that with also doing my internal arts training. 

 

But when you get to treat and help a healthy and happy for life 99-year old woman, it makes the world of a difference :) 

Congrats!

 

folks, in these trying times let us accentuate such positives!

Give your energy to the candle flame in the darkness, instead of the wolf in the shadows!

 

walk in beauty

shunka

Edited by shunka
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4 hours ago, anshino23 said:

Just started working as a doctor. There's a lot of new things to learn and it can feel quite overwhelming, especially balancing that with also doing my internal arts training. 

 

In order to help others effectively, you need to first take care of yourself both physically and mentally. It’s valuable to find a way to continue with your practice as you do this work. You may have to make some adjustments or modifications to your training and it may help to give yourself permission to do so. 

 

 

4 hours ago, anshino23 said:

 

But when you get to treat and help a healthy and happy for life 99-year old woman, it makes the world of a difference :) 

 

Yes it does.

It’s a great blessing to have the opportunity and skill to make a difference in the lives of others.

🙏🏽

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13 hours ago, liminal_luke said:

It´s been tough, this whole pandemic thing.  While my life hasn´t changed much outwardly, I feel the general stress in the air, so much uncertainty about what comes next.  As always, I´m trying to improve myself through diet and my various spiritual practices.  Wish I was one of those people who let´s everything go and enters a state of profound grace and love but so far no.  Maybe someday.  

 

I´ll share a bit of the journal entry I wrote this morning in the hopes that it strikes an amusing chord....

 

This journal, like so many of my journalistic efforts in the past, will document my attempt to secure health and happiness through various wellness practices, medically sound and otherwise. I´d call it Distaster Diet: Food For Apocalyptic Times but that implies an overly narrow focus on cuisine. Wellbeing is 80% kale salad, 15% pushups, 5% someone to cuddle with while binge watching Survivor. I do however stand by the assertion that cataclysmic change is afoot. Why else would I be eating broccoli? Last April, during the Spring of Naive Hope, I thought surely the pandemic would be winding down by now. Guess again. Obesity is a major risk factor for severe coronavirus complications so I´m in a race against time to slim down before getting infected. The last thing I want to do is burden my family with the cost of an oversize casket.
 
Speaking of caskets, homosexual sex hounds have been laughing in the face of death for decades now and if you think the latest bug will deter us you need to wake up and smell the poppers....
 
The entry goes on from here but takes a less family friendly turn better saved for another day. ;)

 

Kale salad and broccolli - man there's no need to make yourself suffer so!

 

 

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In my better moments I think that what is happening in the world is just cause and effect working itself out - but otherwise I find myself quite disturbed by all the violence (on all sides) and although I am a natural hermit (quasi-sociopath :) ) the Covid restrictions on travel and meeting people have eventually begun to take their toll.  I haven't been able to go back to England to see my aged parents as I usually do - and the fact that one of my daughters is expecting another child in December and I probably won't be able to go to see her either makes me a little gloomy.

 

I'm trying to rely on my cultivation/practice and have been through a process of throwing off anything that seems unnecessary - so I do a very basic simple sitting meditation now.  It's going ok but doing without 'props' can be a little challenging.

 

This board is always a place I come back to - even if relations become a bit fraught at times - we've lost some grounding which was embodied in Marblehead in previous times.  God, I miss trolling him about the British Empire ... those were the days.

 

Anyway, looking forward, there's got to be a turning point when some of this shit we are going through lifts.  Maybe someone good at astrology or the Ching can tell us when that will be.  Then when the clouds part we can look to the sunlit uplands.  I'm praying - it's all to the good and we must soldier on :)

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Just wanted to say this is a lovely thread. You're a great bunch of people and I love hearing from you all every day. Stay well. 

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13 hours ago, anshino23 said:

Just started working as a doctor. There's a lot of new things to learn and it can feel quite overwhelming, especially balancing that with also doing my internal arts training. 

 

But when you get to treat and help a healthy and happy for life 99-year old woman, it makes the world of a difference :) 

 

:)

 

The minister was giving his Sunday sermon in church ; " We all must learn to love our enemies ."

 

A  frail voice from the  back pops up " But I aint got no enemies."

 

The minister looks up " Ahhh .... Mrs Smith !   I find it remarkable that a woman approaching her 100th year can honestly say she has not an enemy in the world !  perhaps you would like to come up the front and explain to the congregation how you achieved this wonderful example of Christian tolerance ? "

 

" All right then , "    she slowly walks to the front, steps up on the podium and says ;  " Well ...... all them bitches are dead now . "

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9 hours ago, Apech said:

In my better moments I think that what is happening in the world is just cause and effect working itself out - but otherwise I find myself quite disturbed by all the violence (on all sides) and although I am a natural hermit (quasi-sociopath :) ) the Covid restrictions on travel and meeting people have eventually begun to take their toll.  I haven't been able to go back to England to see my aged parents as I usually do - and the fact that one of my daughters is expecting another child in December and I probably won't be able to go to see her either makes me a little gloomy.

 

I'm trying to rely on my cultivation/practice and have been through a process of throwing off anything that seems unnecessary - so I do a very basic simple sitting meditation now.  It's going ok but doing without 'props' can be a little challenging.

 

This board is always a place I come back to - even if relations become a bit fraught at times - we've lost some grounding which was embodied in Marblehead in previous times.  God, I miss trolling him about the British Empire ... those were the days.

 

Anyway, looking forward, there's got to be a turning point when some of this shit we are going through lifts.  Maybe someone good at astrology or the Ching can tell us when that will be.  Then when the clouds part we can look to the sunlit uplands.  I'm praying - it's all to the good and we must soldier on :)

 

Did you see the thread on the grand conjunction on this years solstice ?  

 

Apparently the kings nakedness shall be revealed

 

Spoiler

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo  ! 

 

Spoiler

trump-statue.jpg

 

 

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