I'm sorry;

[findley]

One of the things i want to do is overcome emotions. This means I do not want to emphasize 'positive' emotional experiences, and that I should also accept freely 'negative' experiences.

 

I do not necessarily want to believe that the sage is without emotion. The ego is the gateway of experience in our corporeal, every-day existence. It should not be dissolved; rather, in 'overcoming' emotions, they flow freely (with the Yi; any plateau is not worth merit,) and allow one to experience flux without clinging attachment.

 

I know it is nice to be happy, confident, etc; but to truly be free to be angry, to be, even to be malicious sounds to me much more truly in-line with Tao. Our egotistical existence is defined by flux, and I would be a fool to train and repress my ego to conform to some 'moral code' or 'ethic of behavior' or being something 'characteristic of enlightenment.'

 

Of course this is strictly applied to P'o; to cultivate Hun by means of the Mysterious Pass will of course lead to a passive, if-not-completely-lacking-in-temperament=at-all-whatsoever kind of demeanor.

 

 

I want to assure everyone who reads my posts, of oen thing: that I am genuinely looking for genuine enlightenment. This, first and foremost, despite my apparant behavior on an internet forum, should be how I should be respected.

 

 

So, for all those fools who do not know how to react, let alone understand, to my average behavior on this forum: go fuck yourselves.

 

 

-And if you dont think that there are repercussions for doing all of this with my real last name, let me assure you, there are. And I will be damned if I do not do it anyways-- I will not allow for temporal obstructions from discouraging me in my own, private, pursuit of enlightenment. I will always choose to be free, and therefore conform only perchance-- not because of worldly discouragement from worldly people.

[Mal]

I want to assure everyone who reads my posts, of one thing: that I am genuinely looking for genuine enlightenment.

As always, I wish you success on your journey

[King Kabalabhati]

I have found your posts challenging in their up-frontness but I never been insulted, so to be sorry is not really necessary though there'e nothing wrong with it. And if you allow yourself to attach to your negativity and end up a bitter excuse of a Taoist, then it's your turn to go fuck yourself.

[thelerner]

I've found many of your earlier posts to be overly friendly, too optimistic, too damn happy and agreeable. I'm glad you're finally moving toward balance.

 

 

 

Live long & Prosper

 

[Guest sykkelpump]

I am sorry I read another one of your stupid post.

[Birch]

I don't care.

 

But I guess I do enough to post this. And so do you!

I'd love to hear about your rationale for insulting people. Or is it their fault they're insulted? I'm not insulted, I'm curious.

If you're going to go be "enlightened" then does it make sense to stick with ego-based emotions and then throw them around a bit to see what sticks to who? I thought the point was to get over yourself - maybe it isn't.

I guess you'll get enlightened if the universe wants you to.

[everseeking]

Findley--

 

Regardless of whether or not you are moved in anyway by this, I would like to say-thank you for your apology, and thank you even more for your explanation. I think I understand a bit. Thinking about it, its clear that we (myself and probably all other humans) are quick to behave in a scripted way based on how WE think an 'enlightened' person should behave--in the same way that many people act in a specific, insincere way during job interviews. There's the tendency to act all proper, to spell perfectly and use big word, when really, its not the way we behave when we are pissed off, or when we are jerking it in private, etc. _Oh wait--we Tao Bums dont 'whack it'.... well, SOME of us don't... and thinking about that, it seems like the ego is still in charge in such cases of false behavior... even though we think it isn't.

 

I'd like to offer you this--Jack Nicholson (the actor) said-in a interview-that he always tried to remember what we really are. He told a story of a guy who was forced to incinerate Jewish people during the holocaust. The guy said that no matter how they went in, it was always the same. Children on the bottom, then women, then men. The fire came from below, and the strongest always would up on top when the heat was cranked up. So, Findley, I respect your choice of behavior, and the way you choose to pursue enlightenment. This ego we have is here for a reason--it evolved to ensure our survival, and its silly to just deny it. Maybe, I speculate, there is a way to eventually let it go.

 

I would like to suggest that you consider being reasonably polite and asking advice from the Chinese master you plan on visiting soon. If he is a fraud, or lacking in cultivation of the Tao, you will probably be able to tell without risking your safety. If you get locked up, or injured, it could be a barrier to cultivation.

 

You may well find something like volunteering for community service interesting--it will teach you about humanity.

 

I'd be perfectly happy to communicate with you more, and ask your advice on good books/translations, if you are willing.

 

 

Genuinely hoping you progress toward your goals--

 

Nate

 

BTW Findley, I apologize for my negativity in your direction in other posts. On the marijuana post, I was pretty much just joking.

 

And honestly man, I commend your efforts, and think you bring a useful perspective to TTB--now that I know more about where you are coming from.

[Wayfarer64]

One of the things i want to do is overcome emotions. This means I do not want to emphasize 'positive' emotional experiences, and that I should also accept freely 'negative' experiences.

 

I do not necessarily want to believe that the sage is without emotion. The ego is the gateway of experience in our corporeal, every-day existence. It should not be dissolved; rather, in 'overcoming' emotions, they flow freely (with the Yi; any plateau is not worth merit,) and allow one to experience flux without clinging attachment.

 

I know it is nice to be happy, confident, etc; but to truly be free to be angry, to be, even to be malicious sounds to me much more truly in-line with Tao. Our egotistical existence is defined by flux, and I would be a fool to train and repress my ego to conform to some 'moral code' or 'ethic of behavior' or being something 'characteristic of enlightenment.'

 

Of course this is strictly applied to P'o; to cultivate Hun by means of the Mysterious Pass will of course lead to a passive, if-not-completely-lacking-in-temperament=at-all-whatsoever kind of demeanor.

I want to assure everyone who reads my posts, of oen thing: that I am genuinely looking for genuine enlightenment. This, first and foremost, despite my apparant behavior on an internet forum, should be how I should be respected.

So, for all those fools who do not know how to react, let alone understand, to my average behavior on this forum: go fuck yourselves.

-And if you dont think that there are repercussions for doing all of this with my real last name, let me assure you, there are. And I will be damned if I do not do it anyways-- I will not allow for temporal obstructions from discouraging me in my own, private, pursuit of enlightenment. I will always choose to be free, and therefore conform only perchance-- not because of worldly discouragement from worldly people.

 

You seem very confused. very young and very head-strong...A fine beginning for the long journey ahead...

[Biff]

I am sorry I read another one of your stupid post.

 

 

He is a laugh... I don't think he even knows if he's coming or going. Here are some great Fimbos contradictory quotes;

 

Good for a laugh!

 

I find myself frequently telling myself that 'I am insane'

 

I am a heavy smoker, (including almost daily use of pot.)

 

This 'faulty conception of Dao' did not really become clear to me as such until I smoked a bunch of pot.

 

...I only use marijuana for fun, and for its experimental value. I am not expecting it to get me enlightened.

 

a combination of practice with tSofGF and dank marijuana lead my being into a fuller awareness of itself. I am destined for enlightenment =)

 

"It is my opinion that we do not 'realize' Tao - we experience Tao."

 

This realization dawned upon me in a powerful manner-- I had smoked a bunch of pot to accentuate and emphasize the experience.

 

Can someone help me? I don't want to sacrifice the tantric (blissful) attainment with frequent ejaculation.

 

I already have extended periods of bliss to appreciate.

 

One must forget the desire for bliss. If you are practicing FOR bliss, then you have blinded yourself and fallen onto a disingenuine path.

 

Maybe, though, bliss is actually a reasonable alternative to enlightenment?

 

If the aneros can be utilized as a tool to achieve higher states of bliss, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IT WONT WORK FOR ME??? or tell me how to use it properly?!?!

 

Never try to intentionally cultivate bliss.

 

I noticed that my potential to experience bliss was significantly lessened after unnecessary ejaculation.

 

Does anybody else have a problem with homoerotic fantasies whenever you practice retention?

 

I do.

 

I skip around winking and jerking and asking everybody to have a nice day

 

I spend 30-90 minutes a day, on average, masturbating

 

I have mastered the art of orgasm without ejaculation

 

I, uh... haven't done well with retention of semen...

 

I think all the jerking may have de-sensitized my penis

 

I made myself ejaculate, and immediately I felt much better.

 

I was *this* close to calling an old grandmother I once slept with for a good-time!

 

I eventually made myself ejaculate so I could go to sleep.

 

I try and rub it out frequently.

 

weak compensation for a real lover, though. God I need one bad.

 

I am also taking a few heavy doses of 'Cobra' sexual enhancement pills to encourage a fast recovery from spilling so much of my seed.

 

...anyways, what I am noticing is quite a bit of psychosis.

 

Ooooh and by the way, I show alot of symptoms indicating earth deficiency.

 

I have experienced all sorts of adverse mental effects from my dabbling in qigong.

 

Many of you assholes may even own a copy of my book in the coming years. It's really coming out brilliantly.

 

I am such a genius !!!!!!!!!!

 

Last few days I have been trying to find and cultivate 'Dao' directly. I'm not really sure what I am doing.

 

And as bad-ass I am, I have no one to tell, excepting this board. I AM A GENIUS.

 

'opening' the Microcosmic Orbit is a joke to me

 

I have recently entertained mantak chia's 'microcosmic orbi' guided meditation CD, and feel like I would like to couple it with my tantric practice. (I just need to get into the 'mode' of regular practice..) and that has been an incredible experience.

 

Maybe enlightenment isn't really a big deal.

 

Hope you have fun in China Fimbo

[Mal]

errrr thats quite a catalog

 

I'm sure many of us would look like delusional pot smoking sex fiends if you did that to our posts.

 

I would

[Wayfarer64]

errrr thats quite a catalog

 

I'm sure many of us would look like delusional pot smoking sex fiends if you did that to our posts.

 

I would

 

Now I feel silly... I have been thinking that having once beeng a delusional pot smoking sex fiend was a prerequisit to finding this site and feeling at home here...

 

Maybe I've remained delusional and just don't know it...Is that an illusion or delusion... what is the sollution?

 

It could be more sex & drugs & rock'n'roll...

 

Tune in next week for yr next installment...-Good Luck Findley!

 

you may just need it...

[Encephalon]

I believe the most noble thing we can do is acknowlege the reality of suffering and render as much compassion as possible. A part of me would have been delighted to unleash my scorn on this individual but I have to step up at some point and choose more refined conduct. "Fake it 'til ya make it," right?

 

That being said, he needs to be cut loose. I'm surprised this kind of behavior was tolerated for so long.

[宁]

F. is a curious case, to me. I could care less about his attitude, he only hurts himself.

I wonder what will happen to him.

Biff made a short list of his 'features' as he himself see them.

If I base my judgement on that, I'd say he's hopeless. Not because of what he does, but because of how deep and cristalised are his actions inside his body/mind. He need a really-really good... 'something'... to start over again.

But can I really tell? I'll just wait and see...

 

PS: Sorry if i sound too judgemental, but he brought his case upfront himself, i'm just contemplating the implications

[Gerard]

Well, well...I wish I had the power to send you to a Vipassana retreat. You would change very quickly, for sure...or you will walk out the first week, like many do.

 

Don't expect from me saying: I forgive you. No, you are the one who has to forgive yourself, deep within, for any acts that cause karmic disturbances because as a result you will accumulating a debt and the larger it becomes the harder to crawl out of the hole.

 

See, Samsara is like a Bank and we all are in debt with it. Very few end up having a balance of $0.00 and as a result will get out, others aren't that lucky: -$20,456,990 plus the interest generated.

 

Imagine how long it will take to clear off that debt! Act now instead of letting your mind be in control of your finances.

 

Good luck in your journey.

[Vajrahridaya]

What helps is genuine humility towards a genuine teacher of enlightened lineage.

[JustARandomPanda]

go fuck yourselves.

 

If done in the right spirit that might actually be some excellent advice for all.

Edited August 27, 2009 by SereneBlue

[CarsonZi]

Biff:

He is a laugh... I don't think he even knows if he's coming or going. Here are some great Fimbos contradictory quotes;

 

........

 

 

Ah......what a boring Life it would be if it weren't for the Paradoxes....

 

Love,

Carson

[Biff]

If done in the right spirit that might actually be some excellent advice for all.

 

lol..

 

Hmmm, wanted to say that I'm not better then Fimbo and neither is most anyone else. No matter what the 'achievement' or level we are all trying to find our way to the next one. Even when everything is auspicious, further content will either come from teaching and helping or retreating to further develop.

 

If we can learn anything from Fimbo it's to blindly accept what a 'Guru' tells us is as much stupidity as watching TV all day. Fimbo may be rude but he is sincere in his dedication to seek the truth. There are so many who are content with the mundane. Behind the 'language' there appears to be an intent that I believe will lead him to find what he seeks.

 

What's really interesting is the internal response we have to post's that do not agree with us (that include me and Fimbo). This is how we can truly grade our progress. Do we become angry? direct hate? or do we direct something more positive. It has been said that TTB is a mountain of negative posts and bad vibes. But we gaze into the mirror of all that is and what we see is a reflection of ourselves.

 

Good luck Brother Fimbo!

[Encephalon]

lol..

 

Hmmm, wanted to say that I'm not better then Fimbo and neither is most anyone else. No matter what the 'achievement' or level we are all trying to find our way to the next one. Even when everything is auspicious, further content will either come from teaching and helping or retreating to further develop.

 

If we can learn anything from Fimbo it's to blindly accept what a 'Guru' tells us is as much stupidity as watching TV all day. Fimbo may be rude but he is sincere in his dedication to seek the truth. There are so many who are content with the mundane. Behind the 'language' there appears to be an intent that I believe will lead him to find what he seeks.

 

What's really interesting is the internal response we have to post's that do not agree with us (that include me and Fimbo). This is how we can truly grade our progress. Do we become angry? direct hate? or do we direct something more positive. It has been said that TTB is a mountain of negative posts and bad vibes. But we gaze into the mirror of all that is and what we see is a reflection of ourselves.

 

Good luck Brother Fimbo!

 

 

"Fimbo may be rude but he is sincere in his dedication to seek the truth."

 

I think the above quote is a debatable point. I might get slapped here but I'm going to appeal to Buddhist psychology. The Three Poisons - delusion, hatred, and greed - sit in the middle of the wheel of life for a reason; they symbolize the nature of the unawakened mind. Delusion facilitates the other two. Caught in a delusional state, there is no limit to mental illness. I am no psychologist, but like many others in here, I had my bouts with drugs and alcohol thirty years ago and I can spot delusional behavior when I see it.

 

Dare I say, Taoism is not what this young man needs. Perhaps Taoist exercises, chi king, some kind of somatic therapy is certainly necessary for chemically-dependent people, but Taoist metaphysical speculation has no purpose on this plane. Healing a wounded self is in order here, and Buddhist psychology does wonders because it is consistent with modern psychology regarding the nature of the self, and it is also consistent with the post-modern realization that there is no "self;" we are each a society of selves as contingent and fluid as oceans and air masses.

 

Having said that, I still insist that the above point is a debatable one, but I am convinced that life seeks life, and that most living things remain on a evolutionary trajectory, unless something poisonous seeps in. It would be nice to see us all find what we're looking for.

[hyok]

This forum is a great support group. It's why I come. Well, not "come", but ya know.

[findley]

Blasto, you are a monster.

 

'three poisens''sit in the wheel of life' 'buddhist psychology' ?? you are so fucking stupid, man.

You are such a hhuge hypocrite, in ways you obviously dont understand for yourself. Your dogmatic attitude is repulsive.

 

It feels good to hate you. You arethe ultimate scum walkingm (or thinking you may be walking,) the path.

[Vajrahridaya]

 

It feels good to hate you.

 

Hi findley, I do feel for you as I do feel that you are mis-understood.

 

But, please... understand that when it feels good to hate, that your projecting your energy in a self aggrandizing fashion and the feel good is actually occurring due to a releasing of the emotion, but not necessarily release from the understanding of the emotion. So the feel good is the letting go, but when your projecting it outwards, it will come back inwards as life is a bank account (what you put into it, you get back from it) so it's not a "real" letting go of the emotion from within. It's not an act of wisdom, though the result of the "feeling good" when projecting it out should give you an idea of what the fruit of really "letting go" of the emotion is, on a level of 1 to 1,000,000.

 

If you were to really de-wire the attachment from it's cause, the enjoyment of "free from anothers projection" would be really deeply blissful and not just conditionally pleasurable, as what you are feeling by expressing through hurt words like, "scum" etc. are just reflections of this condition of false self identity protection.

 

I just hope this helps your inner contemplation as I know you do wish to evolve yourself deeply and that you are indeed very passionate in that wish.

[Sunya]

Blasto, you are a monster.

 

'three poisens''sit in the wheel of life' 'buddhist psychology' ?? you are so fucking stupid, man.

You are such a hhuge hypocrite, in ways you obviously dont understand for yourself. Your dogmatic attitude is repulsive.

 

It feels good to hate you. You arethe ultimate scum walkingm (or thinking you may be walking,) the path.

 

 

I don't think anyone who acts like that is genuinely interested in evolving or understanding truth, but I could be wrong. maybe findley's going through a dark night. or he's just one really angry person. Someone said that Findley's posts used to be very nice, so he wasn't always like this..... Findley did all of this anger come about after a spiritual experience, feelings of bliss, visions, etc? and then the bliss was gone and life started sucking? thats a dark night. you can get through it by meditating on the emptiness of emotions and just keep practicing.

[Encephalon]

Blasto, you are a monster.

 

 

 

Well, at least make me Godzilla.

[Vajrahridaya]

I don't think anyone who acts like that is genuinely interested in evolving or understanding truth, but I could be wrong. maybe findley's going through a dark night. or he's just one really angry person. Someone said that Findley's posts used to be very nice, so he wasn't always like this..... Findley did all of this anger come about after a spiritual experience, feelings of bliss, visions, etc? and then the bliss was gone and life started sucking? thats a dark night. you can get through it by meditating on the emptiness of emotions and just keep practicing.

 

He hasn't been given the opportunity to contemplate the energy of his inner arisings that are reflective of interpretation to his experience of environment. People, things said, places... influxes. He's looking for meaning, and through a good manor, but humility escapes him because he's used to being expressive and chaotically charismatic. This get's people to like him in person, including the "girls". The way he is on here is not totally reflective of the way he is in person. He is most definitely passionate, but his "I am a genius" betrays a secret insecurity.

Edited August 28, 2009 by Vajrahridaya