Here is one that amused me ;
Lads from work went out drinking and came home. One had left his key inside the motel room and being late, no staff around . So they put some bins against the wall , climbed up and he tried to get through the bathroom window but he got stuck , so the other two pushed him and he ;popped' through , skidded along the floor like a body surfer , head butted the toilet , broke it and knocked himself out . The other two feeling they had got him inside okay left .
Mate woke up with a concussive hangover and rushed off to work . People had complained about the ruckus last night and the manager went to have a look . Freaked out, rang the boss ( company was paying for accommodation ) , boss got up mate and told him to go straight to manager after work , apologize and pay for any damages .
So he did and went and knocked on managers door who came to the door with yapping little dog in arms
( finally, we get to the dog part ) ... from my mate;
'' .. and he is ' You break the bins , you smash toilet, everyone is disturbed .... I ban you forever and your company ....' and all through it the dog is snarling and barking and gnashing its teeth ... from the safety of his arms ! I am apologizing and offering money and the guy is shouting and the dog barking and he is being unreasonable , so I lost it and '' Look ! Shut the fuck up and shut your yapping annoying barking in my face dog or I will grab it and shove it nose first up yer f**** arse - while its still barking ! ' and stormed off . Later I was 'Oh crap, now I have had it, why did I do that ! '
next day at work the boss goes up to him 'Did you sort things out with the motel manager ?' ... 'Errrmmm , yeah , I think so . ''
No further reports went in