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What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

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1 minute ago, Marblehead said:

Hey Kar3n!  Did you notice that he is a she?

 

I did, but it made me laugh, so I posted it anyway. 

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Mrs. Esposito comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. 
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than meet the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''
About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mama,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son,
Anthony
A few days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:
Dear son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mama 
Moral:
Never Bulla Shita you Mama

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posted on another thread.:mellow:

 

Quote

Once in a while I let my wife drag me to seattle for a day of wandering the small shops and Pikes Place market.. And when we do I like to have a bit of fun trolling liberals.

 

Me and my wife will go into one of the small shops that has a "No Guns Allowed" sign..

 

I will pick out a few hundred dollars in stuff and head up to the cash register..

When the clerk is ringing me up the wife will wander out and then come back in and Say "Hey Honey, Are you carrying today?" I will ask her why she wants to know and she will point out the policy.

 

Of course at that time I will apologize to the clerk and say that I did not see the sign and and head on out the door leaving all the stuff I picked out on the counter.

 

99.9% of the time they will trip all over themselves trying to say it is OK and trying to still make the sale. As I walk out the door.

 

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This is in English ...  Wait for it:   (The work of the future)

 

 

Alternate ending:

 

 

Edited by Starjumper
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I'd be wholly unfit to fulfill the duties, I'd be a naughty guiding hand... I just know it. 

 

Guiding them into piles of dog shit... into puddles... into lamp posts.

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