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  2. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    I was in a coffee shop today, but it's a special one ... it's the one the taxi drivers and east europeans use, plays Chilltraxxx, and is run by a gay guy. Anyway it's the one where people are most normal, working class guys stopping their trucks on the way to electrify roof or plumb someone's house. Blue collar wives and actual English people !!! Some awful chain called Flowerpot Bakery just opened up the road, packed with the middle class and their mobiles, and the chatter chatter chatter ... it's all the same unconscious. Yes they talk to each other .... sort of. I use to play this game in Cafe Nero; Tables 1 & 7 : Moaning, Tables 2 & 9 : Complaining, Tables 3 : Domestic Struggle, Table 4 & 5 Planning Something for the future. Yawn. The girls who work in the cafe have started to sit with me when they get a minute spare, to do some crayon drawings on my pad, or have a confession and talk about their husband / boyfriends / future / immigration / spirituality. Anyway from sitting silently for 6 months, now I speak to almost everyone. Anyway today I was in a good move, I even felt that I smiled so that all my top teeth could be seen. Probably haven't done that since I was 1 year old. It's been a bit of s*** half century.
  3. Contradiction ?

    Hi Creighton, Yes/no ~ to each his/her own. No two persons ~ the same. Where is the constant? Good night. - Anand
  4. Contradiction ?

    deeply appreciating contradictions lately. reveling, dancing through paradox. sublime it seems grateful when perceptual projections do not reconcile readily so: if change is constant... as it seems in localized mind constancy is changability? if change is constant.. what is it that changes? and if change is constant... this is unchanging change? where does change occur? in reality what never changes? does it, can it register in awareness? is awareness unchanging? seems all things change, and this is a constant. so: seems my concept of constant is... somehow suddenly suspect.
  5. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    Sounds lovely. This disconnect sounds similar to what you're ascribing to others.
  6. A closer look at candle-gazing meditation

    Time and transportation
  7. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    And also to add onto that quote, don't expect anything of anyone in terms of reciprocation or openness
  8. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    Oh, I forgot the young mother who was grateful when I suggested she step in front of me at the gas station queue. The lovely young couple who smiled when I held the door open for them upon entering, and the older lady who expressed appreciation of my manners when I held the door for her when leaving. When I use the quote, "be the change you wish to see in the world," it isn't idle chatter. Maybe give it a try, and see what happens?
  9. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    Today we struck up a conversation with a friendly lady at the gas pump who was taking a crash course in driving a vehicle with a manual transmission, and apparently loving it. Smiled with a few strangers while perusing the baked goods, and then got in queue behind an older couple. The gentleman was enjoying his own little quips about not being able to "take it with" him - meaning the money he was spending. And the wife was gently resting her palm on his arm and smiling at the quips I can only imagine she's heard many times before. I didn't see anyone on their phones while waiting in queue. ***** Why would people believe you'd gone mad if you smiled at them?
  10. Today
  11. Contradiction ?

    Hi Creighton, Besides nothing - everything, something, anything... what have you... change. So? - Anand
  12. Why do YOU think the world is so messed up?

    even if i never went hungry or thirsty even if my wife and son and all my (remaining) friends outlive me even if my investments grow vast and my house never crumbles in earthquake or fire even if i never lose another cherished bauble of memory even i remain able bodied as i age this body will grow age, this body will cease and there will be discomfort this body, born from the molten remnants of a bursting star every story ends the same... the star of the movie dies in the end. such treasure as life to have had the chance to even share words and ideas let alone a lifetime of hardships and victories with friends and foes alike such treasure. unimaginable bliss that there should be something instead of nothing
  13. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    Hear you on the harsh aspects. It can be relentless. Reminds me of this. But I sense the folks 'lost' in phones now, would be no less disconnected, without the phone to focus on... They'd be just as checked out from connecting locally by looking at a magazine, reading a book, obsessing over some thought of their own devising, or something someone said, or what they wanted to buy, or pissed about what they wanted to buy but couldn't afford... instead, they are obsessing not about a thought of their own devising, but they are consuming other's thoughts through their phones, instead of magazines, books, newspapers. Phones are the magazine/movie theater/television/radio/newspaper/telephone all in one. But seem a symptom, not the source. Remember when we used to connect on the subway or the bus? Ugh, not me mate... I've always been a loner in most public settings, though very gregarious in private. As someone who used to draw much unwanted attention, I cultivated invisibility for years, before achieving some deeply relieving success. Rode the bus to University in Minnesota, and used the Subway for seven years in Brooklyn. I didn't leave the brownstone without a book and a walkman to keep folks at bay... (lol walkman!). The only thing they weren't good at distracting awareness from, was smells... dear god the smells in NYC in the summer. walking around lately feels a lot like this me. and I connect with a few folks now, whether shopping or wandering. but it's rare. true, undistracted presence is a rare gift indeed. i cherish it and return it in kind when i encounter it. I find folks who encounter me in this blissed out state and notice me, regularly avoid me, it's cute. My son says between my very slow gate, penchant for squatting and staring at seemingly mundane things for long periods and the blissed out grin that I come across as a very stoned viking who's wandered in from another century. It was my son who taught me that the only thing he ever craved of me as a toddler, was my attention and presence. The toys, stories were secondary. He craved connection. He knew what is real.
  14. A closer look at candle-gazing meditation

    What are your circumstances that seem constricting for you ?
  15. A closer look at candle-gazing meditation

    I will look into that text, because none of the other options you presented are available to me at this time. I haven't ever been that interested in the spiritual reality of other entities beyond my experience/encounter with greys. Is it really that easy to lose one's soul on what is certainly a rather isolated "self"-contained path? Or are you communicating in a manner less literal than I'm interpreting it to be?
  16. Contradiction ?

    Hi Jim, In the physical world, the simplest case for balance ~ the center of gravity. But when laced with politics, power, corruption, fake news... ~ where is the center of balanced living? However when we look inward ~ we can search for it ... and find it? - Anand
  17. on Bigu and Ketosis as jing: 12 pounds lost in 6 days

    I practiced spring forest for a few months and it yielded what I expected, though I wonder if there is a more compressed concise version? I know the breathing of the universe and the one where you visual a white orb and circulate it through the upper body using both hands at a fixed length , felt particularly powerful and I read a comment stating that the latter could be utilized as a standalone exercise. Also, I remember there being an internal or mental form of qigong which I ultimately became more curious of because I began to find the various poses excessive much the way I did with a lineage of yoga I had entertained. My main takeaway is to focus on a more plant based diet, trying to abstain from legumes for reasons unknown to me though recommended by authorities on brahmacharya. While I'm a bit anxious about malnutrition with such sparse physical intake, I've found that the discipline of brahmacharya(strict celibacy) imbues me with a huge of vitality that makes me think its meeting nutritional needs I'm unaware of. I will look into the shaolin diet. Are there any breathing meditations that you would reccomend? I've read some of your posts over the years and know about the toaist alchemy tome though I never pursued it because of the "incompleteness" perceived by the layman(me). Again thank you for your contributions to this forum, of note I found your post about the mental/quantum connotations of images insightful and relatable, as well as the one where you went into depth about a certain breathing practice that yielded good results which I hope you can reiterate here as I don't remember much about the post, though there was something about doing it while sitting on a bed or something I think I remember the one adherent of spring forest becoming a qigong master over a relatively short period, which I know I can't replicate because I'm not able to sit in lotus position. Do you find yourself on a similar path? I'm pretty sure he cultivated and still resides stateside
  18. Seeking Info

    I'm not seeing the things you speak of in Walker's posts, cah5896. There's definitely some misinterpreting going on.
  19. Neiye - Section 1 - The Essential Qi

    This line always struck me a little odd.. and Reid has a good argument to leave the original character (tone) and not replace it. But here is Roth's comment:
  20. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    The tone of the topic may sound depressing and morbid, but it's only my thoughts on modern living and the human condition. Believe it or not, I experience a profound sense of joy and appreciation for what I have nearly every day. My words here might not suggest it, but that is the truth. I'm fortunate to live in a semi-rural area where the quiet countryside is within five minutes walk. No traffic noise, only the sound of birds, farm animals and the occasional jet passing overhead. I feel at home in nature, and in relative solitude, but I experience a massive disconnect from humanity. It's like there's a huge gap between myself and the rest of civilisation.
  21. Neiye - Section 6 - The Inner Grasp

    Just after this note is: I swear I've seen the list of aligning the five systems somewhere... if anyone knows it, please share.
  22. The Self, Does it Exist?

    patterns recognized in local awareness... my storyteller always has a story ready it seems. thinking in english... tends to require mind to associate an assumption with reality... that verbs arise from nouns that create them. the whirlpool swirls. the girl plays. a man sings... which for me, seems like a list of all verbs... verbs verbing verbs are there any nouns? nouns are verbs are they not? patterns comprised of patterns within patterns ever shifting, changing, adapting among co-arising conditions is Self shifting? what abides that never changes?
  23. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    It's not angst, it's way beyond that. Just observations on human behaviour which is becoming increasingly narcissistic and selfish. If I went around smiling at strangers, believe me, they would think I'd gone mad, or even worse become attacked. People generally don't interact anymore. Those days have gone. I'm old enough to remember times like that. Like a distant fading memory.
  24. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    Thanks for checking in, and responding to my post. Good luck with the angst; I'm going to go shopping and smile at the people in queue - who generally smile back and sometimes share stories.
  25. The Harsh Reality of Awakening

    It's hard not to think about this stuff when you're out and about, especially in towns and cities. For example, yesterday the wife and I popped into Starbucks. I got the seats, while Mrs.Lifeforce went to the counter to order the beverages. As I sat down and looked around, every single person sitting in Starbucks, with the exception of myself, was staring at their phone. It was like I could feel the screen glare from all these devices, draining the place of any positive energy. Coffee shops used to be places of conversation, quiet contemplation, or just watching the world go by. Today they are places where phone zombies plug into a world of megapixels and they can give a thumbs-up to a photograph of a plate of someones food.
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