angstg

I need an explanation for this phenomenon after loss of sexual energy..

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I don't know how to explain this. If this was said to me some five years ago, when I had not done semen retention, I would call them directly crazy. Some very strange things have taken place in my life. Right after ejaculation great suffering follows me. In my mental state I am completely fine but what happens is people who surround me, family, friends, neighbors, people on news(in my country), everything suffers.

This has not happened only once. I don't remember exactly when this phenomenon started to come in cycle. Now it has happened more than I could count. I stopped thinking about it, but it follows, even if I forget or try to live a normal life.

Here are some repeated phenomenon that occurs after the loss of sexual energy:

Same people contacting me or coming to my house after relapse. (i even see this phenomenon in facebook, people sharing posts and updating status.)

Neighbor having a fight and attacking each other.

Hearing news about car accident and someone dying or bus accident and a group of people dying all at once (my streak goes from 20- 30 days and in those periods of time no such phenomenon happens. Exactly after 4 days everything stops or I don't see them happening until I relapse)

New problem arises in the mind of my parents and they have a negative discussion as well.

Everything changes.

Also, I feel that those people who are unawakened, or those who walk on everyday life as normal beings, are affected. Sometimes positively as well.

My analysis is that we all have our perception. Retaining seed makes one individual's perception a lot stronger that it bends reality. All people near you, people in your imagination, everything that is related to you is affected once you relapse. There is no escape from it.

Bad luck is mandatory after relapse.

Also, what I have found is that retaining seed stops some event from happening and as soon as you relapse those events will follow.

Like today I got stock dividend from the companies I had invested on. And all other events followed me one by one.

My only question remains is how and why this is happening? Is retaining seed making me live in another dimension that as soon as I relapse earthly things follow me? Or is there something vaguely unknown energy on work?

I don't want this to happen. I want things to go in a smooth flow, not relapse changing things and making many event happen.

I know some of you have not experienced this. (because maybe you have not still awakened your sexual centers, or whatever through lots of force retaining)

But I know some of you have experienced this exact phenomenon.

Please comment your experience. Your explanation would be helpful as well.

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You need to take yourself much less seriously.

 

You are not the center of the universe and your sexual habits are not causing the world to fall in turmoil.

 

If you see suffering in the world and feel compassionate about it, then volunteer to help. Soup kitchens and charities need people like yourself.

 

Spoiler

 

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11 hours ago, angstg said:

My analysis is that we all have our perception. Retaining seed makes one individual's perception a lot stronger that it bends reality. All people near you, people in your imagination, everything that is related to you is affected once you relapse. There is no escape from it.

 

Perhaps owing to your own sense of guilt and hence suffering, you become more aware of suffering around you, which your mind then paints stories around. Then your internal fight and struggle with yourself is “mirrored” or “projected” onto the world around you. Thus, reinforcing your guilt and suffering, and basically trapping you in a hall of mirrors where everything relates to, and reinforces, said guilt and suffering - which in turn relates to this sense of “no escape” you are experiencing.


Maybe escape will come with breaking these funhouse mirrors of distorted, self aggrandizing, and basically self flagellating view?

 

11 hours ago, angstg said:

Your explanation would be helpful as well.


 

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2 hours ago, ilumairen said:

 

 

Perhaps owing to your own sense of guilt and hence suffering, you become more aware of suffering around you, which your mind then paints stories around. Then your internal fight and struggle with yourself is “mirrored” or “projected” onto the world around you. Thus, reinforcing your guilt and suffering, and basically trapping you in a hall of mirrors where everything relates to, and reinforces, said guilt and suffering - which in turn relates to this sense of “no escape” you are experiencing.


Maybe escape will come with breaking these funhouse mirrors of distorted, self aggrandizing, and basically self flagellating view?

 


 

 

Well said!

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Season 3 of Stranger Things had the teacher use the word apophenia.  The human habit to connect things, when we shouldn't.  An interesting phenomena and one that tends to be hard wired into our brains.  The continual search for patterns, when they exist and when they don't.

 

 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/reality-play/201207/being-amused-apophenia

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On 6/13/2020 at 12:45 PM, angstg said:

But I know some of you have experienced this exact phenomenon.

 

Hi angstg,

 

Take a walk in the rain ~ without an umbrella... be exact...

 

 

Then take a warm bath... it works... for...

 

- Anand

 

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Translate the above to: Fap more. 

 

You have no need for a sexual neurosis, life is to short for that. 

 

Return to celibacy when you have learned to find the root of desire, and you have learned methods that reroute sexual energy instead of dam it. 

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4 hours ago, Cleansox said:

Return to celibacy when you have learned to find the root of desire, and you have learned methods that reroute sexual energy instead of dam it. 

 

Hi Cleansox,

 

UP instead of OUT?

 

chakra-EXCELLENT-GIF.gif?fit=500%2C500

 

- Anand

 

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I do not understand, I am not taken seriously here. I have no intention of lying or anything. Why would I come here and post such thing, if I had to lie or if I had to hide things, I would have done somewhere else. I found no answer anywhere. I thought some esoteric teaching of Tao could help me. Not a lot of people in this world know about semen retention as well. The whole Tibetean Buddhism also hides such a thing. They call it 'Samaya' as a vow of celibacy and broken samaya brings a lot of downfall. But the thing is I am not to preach that here. I wanted to know if anyone has authentic answer for this phenomenon. Yes I have also felt all chakras in the body, like tingling sensation in my spine, and also a movement of energy up. If anyone here is serious please let me know why does my loss of semen brings suffering in the outer world. Just yesterday a famous actor died. I am not being narcissist. All the moments where I go without ejaculation, no such things would happen. And that's it, after one orgasm, I open evil in the world. 

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@angstg Poor kidney health can lead to schizophrenia, paranoia, and other mental health issues because kidneys sustain brain, nerves, and essential vitality. If your kidneys are already in poor condition somehow, then your sexual indulgences and leaking energy may agitate the pre-existing condition towards a pathology where your reasoning process turns aberrant. These are much more likelier explanations than your outlandish speculation so far.

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Posted (edited)

Look. You are getting way over your head when you seek complicated theories to satiate your hunger for rational explanations.

 

If you suspect something is bad for you, then avoid it. Problem solved. :)

Edited by virtue

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On 13/06/2020 at 5:45 AM, angstg said:

I don't know how to explain this. If this was said to me some five years ago, when I had not done semen retention, I would call them directly crazy.

 

What else do you do?

 

Are you doing any internal training?

 

Did you learn about this stuff from Mantak Chia's books?

 

While retaining, is your mind still drawn to sexual stimuli?

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6 hours ago, angstg said:

I found no answer anywhere.

 

Hi angst,

 

The answer resides in you. You are your own mind and body.

 

6 hours ago, angstg said:

Yes I have also felt all chakras in the body, like tingling sensation in my spine, and also a movement of energy up.

 

Apparently you are already 'somewhere there'? Good for you.

 

The chakras have the same seven colors/order as the rainbow. Chase it within yourself...

 

5568cd3987d3148c5478acba91ac0328.jpg

 

Going forward ~ sense/follow your inner rainbow with more (gut) feelings and less words.

 

- Anand

 

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9 hours ago, angstg said:

I do not understand, I am not taken seriously here. I have no intention of lying or anything. Why would I come here and post such thing, if I had to lie or if I had to hide things, I would have done somewhere else. I found no answer anywhere. I thought some esoteric teaching of Tao could help me. Not a lot of people in this world know about semen retention as well. The whole Tibetean Buddhism also hides such a thing. They call it 'Samaya' as a vow of celibacy and broken samaya brings a lot of downfall. But the thing is I am not to preach that here. I wanted to know if anyone has authentic answer for this phenomenon. Yes I have also felt all chakras in the body, like tingling sensation in my spine, and also a movement of energy up. If anyone here is serious please let me know why does my loss of semen brings suffering in the outer world. Just yesterday a famous actor died. I am not being narcissist. All the moments where I go without ejaculation, no such things would happen. And that's it, after one orgasm, I open evil in the world. 


My answer was serious, and I know you believe the conclusion you have drawn.

 

Have you actually taken vows?

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9 hours ago, angstg said:

I do not understand, I am not taken seriously here. I have no intention of lying or anything. Why would I come here and post such thing, if I had to lie or if I had to hide things, I would have done somewhere else. I found no answer anywhere. I thought some esoteric teaching of Tao could help me. Not a lot of people in this world know about semen retention as well. The whole Tibetean Buddhism also hides such a thing. They call it 'Samaya' as a vow of celibacy and broken samaya brings a lot of downfall. But the thing is I am not to preach that here. I wanted to know if anyone has authentic answer for this phenomenon. Yes I have also felt all chakras in the body, like tingling sensation in my spine, and also a movement of energy up. If anyone here is serious please let me know why does my loss of semen brings suffering in the outer world. Just yesterday a famous actor died. I am not being narcissist. All the moments where I go without ejaculation, no such things would happen. And that's it, after one orgasm, I open evil in the world. 

 

In both of the traditions you mention here Daoism (Internal Alchemy) and Tibetan Buddhism (tantra/vajrayana) there is held to be a relation between the macrocosm (the outside world) and the microcosm (your inner world) and that these two correlate, resonate and indeed follow the same patterns, such as the sun and moon cycles and so on.  However it is not the case that one causes the other.  There may be causative relations, such as for instance ritual magic aimed at a particular result and this would depend on carrying out specific actions in a purified state, inter-relating to certain forces which do have a causative functions and making offerings and so on.  But again much of this is about using correspondences and alignments to bring about change in accordance with will.  This is enormously tricky and also risky - hence the stress on purification of body and mind and also intent.  Samaya vows are there to safeguard the purity of the transmitted energy/information from teacher to student.  They can be broken but also repaired if you know how.

 

The world is chaotic - more in the way of being so very complex that lines of cause and effect are almost impossible to detect or predict - rather than in the sense of being random.  So that our actions and the results are connected but via a field of infinite flux.  If for instance we piss in an ocean - our urine will end up somewhere and have some effect but we know not where.  Cultivation begins with simple things to get your life in order, dealing with responsibilities and duties and also being continent emotionally and sexually.  This why magical operations start with circle drawing as a statement of self-containment.  We exist in a field of intelligent energy which will in an uncanny way reflect back to us things we need to know or attend to.  How many times have people 'escaped' one situation they didn't like to walk straight into an even worse one - out of the frying pan - into the fire.  So if you are noticing that your actions (whatever they are) are followed by certain types of events or patterns of some kind - you should not think 'I have caused this' but just ask what message am I getting and what should I change.  The answer may not be always obvious.

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3 hours ago, Apech said:

If for instance we piss in an ocean - our urine will end up somewhere and have some effect but we know not where. 

 

Hi Apech,

 

But it must be...

 

 

Image result for peeing in portugal beach is illegal

 

I’m sure most of us have peed at the beach at least once when we were young. Be careful in Portugal! It’s illegal to pee in Portugal’s sea. Although it is unclear how can you be caught doing that if you’re stealthy about it, you shouldn’t take the risk. After all, you wouldn’t want to spend your holiday locked up in a police station, justifying your laziness, especially if the toilet is just nearby!

- https://amicisbc1e.wordpress.com/

 

- Anand

 

 

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9 hours ago, virtue said:

If you suspect something is bad for you, then avoid it. Problem solved.

 

PERIOD.

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Posted (edited)

I will try to explain things in detail. When the first time I read somewhere that not giving our self to the loss of sexual energy, there would come many benefits. Also, somewhere I read that it would bring female attraction. Well, I was naive but my determination was true. It was the year 2013 and I started my practice. At first, it was very hard, like blood and death, I could not overcome the immense amount of sexual energy which I had dissipated for years and years before. My hands would shake and the lust would eat me. At that time, when I was not in such a practice, I had a different life. I had girls, friends, college, groups, and all material things, but I had to chase them, I had to go after them, I had to drool and beg, and talk, like I am in the opposite side of the binary. If world was sun then I was the shadow. 

 

The year 2014, the whole year I tried and failed, tried, and failed. My mind was still in the periphery where I craved a lot. Somehow, one time I went beyond Day 10, and saw something that I had never seen in my life. Females would start to give me foods, they would make excuses to talk with me, new girls would come to me and ask my name, the other girl would post on my FB wall without my consent, and all stuffs. This thing had never happened in 27 years of my life. Now I am 33.

The year 2015, my practice began more and more determined. I used to look dark, but my face started to look bright and more white. Remember, that before I went to beyond day 10, after that I had a relapse sometime later, and yes everything stopped. I said that was just a coincidence. That could be not true. Nothing happened till 4 days after relapse, then I would start my practise again. Everytime I went beyond day 10 with semen retention practise something new would happen in my life, like suddenly a girl would come again and things would fall into places in my life. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. From then on, I made a vow that whatever happens I will never relapse or lose my semen retention practise. But somehow after 2 weeks or 3 weeks, I would fall into a trap of relapse and start my journey again. Things were still going in a normal and like everyday life, I had not seen bad effects or bad events after relapse. 

 

The year 2016. This year something started to change. I suddenly felt a heat inside my belly. A warmth feeling that would move in my whole body, then night when I  sleep I would feel this hot/cold kinda energy slowly creeping up. I still feel this energy at the time of my writing. Then, everytime I knew where this energy is in my body. It specially resides in spine and a part of spine always felt warmth or something piercing me. The more days I went the more up this energy went but never beyond neck. The other thing is that, since this year the effect had become a little more stronger after my relapse. I went to Day 20 and relapsed with a sex and the very same day I would see a fight in the street. I went to day 12 and relapsed and the very same day I saw accident on streets. I went to day 20 again and relapsed and I would see the same events happening. Whenever I went smooth in my retention practise, I would see no such thing. I somehow, inside my head, had started to see this pattern but still ignored. I thought okay just a coincidence. Don't relapse.

 

The year 2017. This year I practised my retention journey with very cold shower. However, I used to take cold shower since year 2015, from this year I started to take everyday. Everytime I felt lust I would take cold shower twice or thrice. This year I also felt the energy even more strongly. One night during this year, I was sleeping, and something happened. A very strong energy shoot my head at night during 1 am. I felt kind of bliss, like in deep meditation. The day after this, one girl whom I liked asked me to give her a ride. Another girl called me again. The attraction hit the roof. However, I did not care. Also, something very peculiar happened was that people would gaze me in my eye like they have seen some angel or something. The way they would look at me with eyes wide open. Like in that movie Perfume: the story of a murderer, people would look at him when he wore it. Everything in the universe started to act weird too. Yes, and if I relapse at day 30, I would see accidents the very day, if I relapsed at night, things would happen the day after. One day on my strong SR journey on Day 18, one guy came and said if you need any help tell me. These kinds of things would happen very often in high retention streak. If I went to buy something in a restaurant, a manager would come and help me and do all things. I felt very strange.

After the year 2017, things would go even weirder and weirder. At some point in my streak in 2018, I felt the whole universe pause. Like there is no more karma. Things also stopped happening in my life. Whether good or bad, nothing would happen in my retention streak. I thought I have hit something now. I bought a laptop from abroad from my uncle. But it did not arrive. The events in my life stopped happening. Then as I relapsed, the uncle came to my house delivering the laptop. It felt weird and the other day my other laptop broke. Is this life even real? I would buy stocks and my dividend would not come to me even after they have distributed. I seemed to stop my Karma in a long retention streak. Things would now stop happening to me. Then during this year 2018, I also felt strong aggression from my friends and family and from strangers. However, as soon as I relapse evil in this world would come a lot stronger. A very famous actress died the day after I relapsed, also numerous bad accidents start to follow the week after I relapsed, also in my own country I saw famous people like Minister's death after I relapsed. Also, it was during this time I started seeing '1111' everywhere. I felt like I was going mad. This could not even be real, all inside my head, but the data on my app, which I had saved after every relapse would say something else. The patterns became stronger.

 

The year 2019, things would happen smooth and then my karma would totally stop, but extreme pain and suffering followed after relapse. This year on my every long streak universe seemed on pause. I could feel deep inside me. I continued my streak, although with little fail, this year proved me that this energy was real. Not a joke. Then on December 27 2019 I relapsed heavily. And you know what, Corona came into being. Also, after this time the famous basketball player died (a day prior I had relapsed). I started seeing unnatural death as well. 

 

One relapse could bring so much evil in the world and the change is permanent. My last relapse was on June 13 2020. I am trying to control myself as much as I can. Peace. My main goal for now is to make my heart extremely moral. I strive for the moral hood, but immoral things devour us all.

 

Verse 117: If a man does evil, he should not do it again and again; he should not take delight in it; the accumulation of evil leads to dukkha.

 

The Story of Thera Seyyasaka

While residing at the Jetavana monastery, the Buddha uttered Verse (117) of this book, with reference to Thera Seyyasaka.

Once there was a thera by the name of Seyyasaka, who was in the habit of masturbating. When the Buddha heard about this, he rebuked the thera for doing something that would lead one farther away from the attainment of Magga and Phala. At the same time, the Buddha laid down the discipline prohibiting such indulgence in sexual pleasures, i.e., Samghadisesa Apatti, offences which require penance and suspension from the Order. Then, the Buddha added, "This kind of offence can only lead to evil results in this world as well as in the next."

Edited by angstg

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Also, the other thing I want to add is that, nowadays when I put my tongue behind my front teeth, I feel very strong current like sensation. Like electricity running through my upper front teeth (a place where the gum meets). It is 24 hours. I have not stopped taking cold showers, which I do everyday. It is also 5 years of cold shower, I have not taken hot showers once in these 5 years. It's weird but I see a lot of rain and clouds where I stay. It's summer but it's raining. 

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Posted (edited)
On 6/15/2020 at 3:49 PM, freeform said:

 

What else do you do?

 

Are you doing any internal training?

 

Did you learn about this stuff from Mantak Chia's books?

 

While retaining, is your mind still drawn to sexual stimuli?

I do strong moral training. I don't let my intention fall even after lust have consumed me or even after I loose my sexual energy. I refrain from intention that leads me to fall. I have come to the realization that lust and intention is the strongest thing a man could possess. Other than that cold shower everyday, like every single day. No books, never read Mantak Chia. I only do semen retention and other things like breathe and meditation happens automatically. When retaining my mind is not drawn to sexual stimuli, sometimes I edge but I try very strongly to retain semen. Once there was a incidence that sex energy was so strong, blood came out when I was pooping. However, I continued. That was in the beginning of the journey. Nowadays, I focus on my intention. Like not telling myself that 'looking porn is good, sex is necessary, or masturbation is good, or orgasm is okay.' I work on these things and path goes smoothly, however sometimes strong lust hit me and relapse happen. The lust so strong that if there was death i would choose death.  

Edited by angstg

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On 6/15/2020 at 5:07 PM, Limahong said:

 

Hi angst,

 

The answer resides in you. You are your own mind and body.

 

 

Apparently you are already 'somewhere there'? Good for you.

 

The chakras have the same seven colors/order as the rainbow. Chase it within yourself...

 

5568cd3987d3148c5478acba91ac0328.jpg

 

Going forward ~ sense/follow your inner rainbow with more (gut) feelings and less words.

 

- Anand

 

Thanks, I will keep this in my mind. 

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On 6/15/2020 at 7:31 PM, ilumairen said:


My answer was serious, and I know you believe the conclusion you have drawn.

 

Have you actually taken vows?

Vows? I think I take Semen Retention journey very strongly and play with lust energy. But do not let lust consume me, but sometimes it slip.

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On 6/15/2020 at 2:55 PM, virtue said:

Look. You are getting way over your head when you seek complicated theories to satiate your hunger for rational explanations.

 

If you suspect something is bad for you, then avoid it. Problem solved. :)

Not way over my head. I am in full awareness. I am trying to understand the science behind sexual energy. There is something surely. I just cannot grasp it fully. With time passing by new things would fall on my path. The stopping of Karma just started a year ago. I am trying to do this thing very very seriously. Also, I am beginning to understand why Buddha said, 'Save all beings through this path."

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