BaguaKicksAss

BKA's guide on how to pickup women.... and lizard people

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...

Ha ha ha CT.

 

Post in haste, repent at leisure!

 

Speaking of which.

 

I made a mistake above.

 

I meant to say, the Sublime, Supreme, Ultimate Illumination of All the Buddha's and Boddhisatva's.

...

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In regards to the overall theme and direction of this topic.

 

Just know that what you are doing to others, you are doing to yourself. Enough said.

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:wacko::blink:

Where is my DISLIKE button ?? :D

 

Guys don't like what he said, either...not because it's completely untrue...but because what he said tends to be true in our experience with dating many women and having unfulfilling brief relationships with them. I guess it's a really disappointing experience overall, comparable to how women complain about how "all guys" are shallow, conceited, boring, lazy, liars, and whatever else there is to complain about.

 

At least personally, what he said doesn't apply so much with other types of relationships with women. For instance, once you have a girlfriend things are different than all of the very beginning stuff, like picking up, dating, etc. Or other examples...when you have a friend who is a girl, when they are your family, when you work with them, etc. In those other relationships, we see different sides of the individual women. They are quite different from the way we are...for instance, more socially oriented rather than pragmatically oriented...able to put up with a lot more nonsense and do what must be done, whereas guys will only take so much of something and try to change things. There are lots of differences...but yeah, in the magical realm of not really knowing people and yet trying to have deep relationships or sex with them, it can be frustrating. What he said is basically true, in regards to dating.

Edited by Aetherous

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Guys don't like what he said, either...not because it's completely untrue...but because what he said tends to be true in our experience with dating many women and having unfulfilling brief relationships with them. I guess it's a really disappointing experience overall, comparable to how women complain about how "all guys" are shallow, conceited, boring, lazy, liars, and whatever else there is to complain about.

 

At least personally, what he said doesn't apply so much with other types of relationships with women. For instance, once you have a girlfriend things are different than all of the very beginning stuff, like picking up, dating, etc. Or other examples...when you have a friend who is a girl, when they are your family, when you work with them, etc. In those other relationships, we see different sides of the individual women. They are quite different from the way we are...for instance, more socially oriented rather than pragmatically oriented...able to put up with a lot more nonsense and do what must be done, whereas guys will only take so much of something and try to change things. There are lots of differences...but yeah, in the magical realm of not really knowing people and yet trying to have deep relationships or sex with them, it can be frustrating. What he said is basically true, in regards to dating.

 

I'd say the differences between men and women exist throughout the relationship process-

 

Initial meeting ("pickup"), relationship building, interactions with others (other guys/other girls/mutual friends/your friends/her friends/her family/your family).

 

These differences can manifest themselves as mike describes, and actually continue through the relationship (to varying degrees).

 

The trap is assuming that these traits are always going to remain constant and in the same ratios. They are going to be changing constantly. As a result, your behavior must change constantly.

 

Sure, (some?) women complain about men being lazy sexist bastards only thinking with their small head.... Yet somehow they wind up dating the same type of guy over and over. Hm. Obviously the men are doing something right in the initial phase (meeting/pickup phase) but either do something wrong, or continue doing the same things they did in phase 1 that doesn't work in phase 2 (say, building a relationship, being a good partner, etc)

 

So it may or may not be fair to say "well your perspective on women would change if you knew them for more than one night, or if they were the mother of your children" or some variant on that. The underlying modes of thinking are still going to be there- just expressed in different ways.

 

[edit] Some people can handle this naturally without thinking, and can do so for various reasons.

 

You could have a traditional "good man" who has a respectable job, he's a reliable guy to all of his friends, tall, good looking, and naturally energetic and outgoing. The tall, good looking, outgoing personally is naturally attractive to the woman in the initial meeting/"pickup", and as they continue to see each other his natural ability to provide for others, act as a considerate leader, etc, means she's more likely to stick around with this "long term mate."

 

Conversely you can have the "douchebag" who is tall and good looking and as a result has had historically a lot of sex with women- so he has bolstered confidence and a fearless approach. This can also be attractive to women in the initial meet/pickup. This guy approaches her even though she might have been talking to other female/male friends. He's not intimidated by putting himself "out there." Then, as the relationship continues, his fundamental self centered ness makes him poor relationship material, and the woman breaks up because he's a "lazy self centered sexist pig only interested in one thing."

 

The incredibly irony is that many women are stuck with the fantasy of men making the first move (read through even just the OP, as well as many of the scenarios that, say, Bagua Kicks Ass puts forward, many of them have the guys making the approach/hitting on/flirting with her).

 

Many "considerate" men will see a woman and think:

 

"Oh she's taken," or "oh she doesn't want to be bothered" or "oh she's out with her friends she doesn't want guys bothering her."

 

Meanwhile, many "douchebags" will see a woman and think:

 

"Yeah she wants the d."

 

So guess who is more likely to approach women? Douchebags.

 

This is the truth I had to learn myself and force myself to start approaching women. Which, interestingly, leads to meeting more women and starting more relationships :P

 

Since, for some reason, women don't really approach men even if they're checking them out... (anticipates barrages of exceptions)

Edited by Sloppy Zhang
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The exception I took to Mike's post was the whole most women aren't intelligent enough to read books... it sort of made me wonder where on earth is he trying to meet women?! (obviously not the law library at the local university lol)

 

I'm more up front than most women (oh beleive me, I could do a three page post with my rants about women and how some of us relate to men lol), I've flirted with a few guys, if I really like someone. I'd say I have had about a 25% success rate with this throughout my life. But then I've had male friends tell me that it is a really big turnoff for men to have the woman flirt with them first :(.

 

A year or so ago there was someone I was hoping to date, so we were doing the whole get to know each other thing by hanging out a bit. He had this odd habit of insulting me, it was really really strange. Over odd stuff too, such as not laughing at their TV show jokes of shows I had not seen. Similar stuff to that, nothing that would even fall under constructive criticism really. At least he apologized for the 2nd time. I didn't phone him back after that, which is sort of amazing considering he was giving me personal rehab training for trade) Then took me out for dinner the next time, then did it again on the way home... I didn't contact him for about 6 months... then thought well he's a friend what the hell.. so the 4th time, well I haven't spoken to him since. So either it puts me off personally, or he wasn't going about it in the right way ;). Perfect body and attractive wasn't enough to overcome that. Though I really don't think he did it purposefully. Aside from that, the mean I've dated have always been really nice, at least for the first few months... lol.

 

I think both men and women, are odd, and get even more odd when trying to date one another.

 

And guys, I fully understand the not wanting to be turned down thing, I have turned a couple of women down who flirted with me, and they just tore into me with the insults!! One started screaming at me!!! Complete stranger....

 

OK so, back to my conclusion, some women seem to like men to treat them badly for some odd reason, but they also are either the ones with low intelligence (yes I know I'm stretching here, using a couple of posts as an example lol), or just wired that way, likely due to past abuse or low self esteem, and some other women prefer guys to actually be really nice to them, and most women (my own conclusion) prefer just a standard person who isn't perfect, has some faults, but does try to better themselves, and in general treats people with respect :).

 

PS the entire thread could likely reverse every single time "man" and "woman" were used, and it would be very similar... accept women have different ways of showing dominance towards each other.

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The exception I took to Mike's post was the whole most women aren't intelligent enough to read books... it sort of made me wonder where on earth is he trying to meet women?! (obviously not the law library at the local university lol)

 

Depends on their looks, too (mike said he's going after only 10's)

 

I've found that girls who are attractive (or were attractive in their formative years, middle school and high school) just go through life having things handed to them just for showing up. People like them and give them things. People help them out more than they help out other (non attractive) people.

 

They rarely have to pay their own way (through money or through work) and they don't really have to work on bettering themselves (on a personal level or an intellectual level).

 

Yeah, sometimes it's hard striking up intelligent conversations with women who have been beautiful their whole lives. They haven't had to.

 

Instead many of those types of women just seek out thrills.

 

 

Now I'm going to say something maybe crazy!

 

The nicest and smarted women I have known and still know are women who are either:

 

1) Not conventionally attractive

 

2) Were not conventionally attractive during their formative years (middle school/high school)

 

Interestingly, the same can be said about guys!!!

 

The attractive guys who were pursued by girls and who were the "popular" kids are more likely to be douchebags. The guys who were the fat kids growing up, the kids who were picked on, who had late growth spurts, etc, are the nicest and most down to earth guys (even if they later grow into their bodies and their personalities).

 

Why?

 

They had to work for it.

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Since, for some reason, women don't really approach men even if they're checking them out... (anticipates barrages of exceptions)

 

Good post.

 

Side note (what I think are good ideas for guys): you know, one major way that she does approach or make a move, is when you meet through networking. For example, if you have a brother, and your brother's girlfriend thinks you're a good guy, and she is close friends with a girl...if you all by chance happen to meet up for any reason, you've got a lot going for you. People are vouching for who you are automatically, without even trying to set you up together, and you're seen as socially adept without even being that. Another way is through life circumstances...for instance if you really have a reason to be somewhere, lets say you work there, and she happens to go there a lot, or maybe is your coworker...or lets say you go to college and she does too. If you're just simply friendly in that situation, you'll have a lot going for you (you seem normal and capable enough to make it in the world) and she is likely to make herself open to you. You both are there for a reason and are doing something, which I think is important. Or even doing your laundry somewhere...you are doing something necessary, lol. These things give her information that help her feel like she knows who you are already, so trust has started to develop automatically (and should be developed more).

 

Lets look at a "pick up" example on the other hand...you're at a bookstore, approach a girl who is a stranger...by yourself...you could be anyone. So could she. It's weird already. Instinctively, anyone who is somewhere alone is not seen as being as socially adept as anyone who is with other people...it'd have been better to say hello as your friend lingers in the background. You don't have a real reason to be there...you're not doing what's necessary in life (unless you start off immediately with something like "ugh shopping for my mom's birthday is tough". For all she knows, you could be at the bookstore primarily for the purpose of trying to pick up girls, which is creepy and pathetic (in comparison to actually knowing people, doing normal things in life, having girls go after you, etc). You could be unemployed. Basically everything about it can seem shady in comparison. And for the most part, the first impression of you is that she doesn't know anything about you...that's not as good of a first impression. It makes trust hard to establish in most cases, which is what opens people up.

 

Watch pick up videos on youtube for an example...the girls will usually just stand there and barely speak...just giggle if they're nice, give a yes or no answer, watch the guy act all weird in amusement. The guy might usually get a number (is it real?), but man it should be obvious that she wasn't open with him like she is when she's having fun with friends. Something that doesn't open people up feels unnatural. Mike is right that it's all about what feelings you're causing in her.

 

So yeah, meeting through networking, and being somewhere with a purpose/doing things in your life (where attractive girls might happen to be), can make her approach you. Even if it's yoga class which can seem very obvious...just be friendly and be there primarily for fitness...you will likely be approached!

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Guys don't like what he said, either...not because it's completely untrue...but because what he said tends to be true in our experience with dating many women and having unfulfilling brief relationships with them. I guess it's a really disappointing experience overall, comparable to how women complain about how "all guys" are shallow, conceited, boring, lazy, liars, and whatever else there is to complain about.

 

At least personally, what he said doesn't apply so much with other types of relationships with women. For instance, once you have a girlfriend things are different than all of the very beginning stuff, like picking up, dating, etc. Or other examples...when you have a friend who is a girl, when they are your family, when you work with them, etc. In those other relationships, we see different sides of the individual women. They are quite different from the way we are...for instance, more socially oriented rather than pragmatically oriented...able to put up with a lot more nonsense and do what must be done, whereas guys will only take so much of something and try to change things. There are lots of differences...but yeah, in the magical realm of not really knowing people and yet trying to have deep relationships or sex with them, it can be frustrating. What he said is basically true, in regards to dating.

Of course there are differences and I understand that people had their heart broken . It is normal to feel some rage , dissapointment or whatever . We are no angels .

But the way Mike talks of women as some inferior or /and incapable "creatures" is just really sad . Not only towards women , but it is a sad represantation of such a contorted psychological space and if this represents majority -- than well I can only pray for better world .

 

All males I know privatley are MILES apart from this type of thinking , although they may have had tragic split ups and hard time in relationship or seducing women and bitch about their partners sometimes -- still they are so far removed from any of this kind of grey thinking .

OK I am 40 years old at the moment and you know maybe I live on another planet too .

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Anyway I wish everyone on this thread (including Mike -- peace ) falls MADLY in love with either their existing partner or meets someone warm loving person with whom to share on deepest level . Spring is coming soon anyway ... :)

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Anyway I wish everyone on this thread (including Mike -- peace ) falls MADLY in love with either their existing partner or meets someone warm loving person with whom to share on deepest level . Spring is coming soon anyway ... :)

OH!, please, no. I don't want to have to go through all that again. I doubt my old body could take it and there's no doubt my mind couldn't take it again.

 

But thanks. That was a very kind thought.

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Of course there are differences and I understand that people had their heart broken . It is normal to feel some rage , dissapointment or whatever . We are no angels .

But the way Mike talks of women as some inferior or /and incapable "creatures" is just really sad . Not only towards women , but it is a sad represantation of such a contorted psychological space and if this represents majority -- than well I can only pray for better world .

 

All males I know privatley are MILES apart from this type of thinking , although they may have had tragic split ups and hard time in relationship or seducing women and bitch about their partners sometimes -- still they are so far removed from any of this kind of grey thinking .

OK I am 40 years old at the moment and you know maybe I live on another planet too .

 

I guess you'd require experience in the current dating scene from a guy's perspective to really get it. It is another planet and one I don't like to visit. Not saying that what he said about women was totally right, but I absolutely get where he's coming from.

 

You can also see what Mike was talking about pointed out in popular culture pretty much all of the time. It surprises me that people wouldn't be aware of this stuff...but I guess that's a good thing for you. Comedy always references the unspoken truth...

 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-mans-intelligence-probably-just-too-intimidat,33916/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-are-all-the-good-guys-always-taken-gay-dead-or,34699/

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Good post.

 

Side note (what I think are good ideas for guys): you know, one major way that she does approach or make a move, is when you meet through networking. For example, if you have a brother, and your brother's girlfriend thinks you're a good guy, and she is close friends with a girl...if you all by chance happen to meet up for any reason, you've got a lot going for you. People are vouching for who you are automatically, without even trying to set you up together, and you're seen as socially adept without even being that. Another way is through life circumstances...for instance if you really have a reason to be somewhere, lets say you work there, and she happens to go there a lot, or maybe is your coworker...or lets say you go to college and she does too. If you're just simply friendly in that situation, you'll have a lot going for you (you seem normal and capable enough to make it in the world) and she is likely to make herself open to you. You both are there for a reason and are doing something, which I think is important. Or even doing your laundry somewhere...you are doing something necessary, lol. These things give her information that help her feel like she knows who you are already, so trust has started to develop automatically (and should be developed more).

 

Lets look at a "pick up" example on the other hand...you're at a bookstore, approach a girl who is a stranger...by yourself...you could be anyone. So could she. It's weird already. Instinctively, anyone who is somewhere alone is not seen as being as socially adept as anyone who is with other people...it'd have been better to say hello as your friend lingers in the background. You don't have a real reason to be there...you're not doing what's necessary in life (unless you start off immediately with something like "ugh shopping for my mom's birthday is tough". For all she knows, you could be at the bookstore primarily for the purpose of trying to pick up girls, which is creepy and pathetic (in comparison to actually knowing people, doing normal things in life, having girls go after you, etc). You could be unemployed. Basically everything about it can seem shady in comparison. And for the most part, the first impression of you is that she doesn't know anything about you...that's not as good of a first impression. It makes trust hard to establish in most cases, which is what opens people up.

 

Watch pick up videos on youtube for an example...the girls will usually just stand there and barely speak...just giggle if they're nice, give a yes or no answer, watch the guy act all weird in amusement. The guy might usually get a number (is it real?), but man it should be obvious that she wasn't open with him like she is when she's having fun with friends. Something that doesn't open people up feels unnatural. Mike is right that it's all about what feelings you're causing in her.

 

So yeah, meeting through networking, and being somewhere with a purpose/doing things in your life (where attractive girls might happen to be), can make her approach you. Even if it's yoga class which can seem very obvious...just be friendly and be there primarily for fitness...you will likely be approached!

 

Along with this... I've noticed that when I'm just out doing stuff I really enjoy (hiking, working out, whatever) more people talk to me. And vice versa. The more active the better it seems. Maybe I just look good with my hair a mess, ugly workout pants and looking like I'm about to have a cardiac arrest...

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I guess you'd require experience in the current dating scene from a guy's perspective to really get it. It is another planet and one I don't like to visit. Not saying that what he said about women was totally right, but I absolutely get where he's coming from.

 

You can also see what Mike was talking about pointed out in popular culture pretty much all of the time. It surprises me that people wouldn't be aware of this stuff...but I guess that's a good thing for you. Comedy always references the unspoken truth...

 

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-mans-intelligence-probably-just-too-intimidat,33916/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-are-all-the-good-guys-always-taken-gay-dead-or,34699/

 

I sent that first link to a friend of mine lol, this is how he feels.

 

I think it goes both ways though, I have heard too many times to count that men don't like intelligent women (seriously). Go figure.

 

Also, it was the 2nd link I found on the topic (feeling lazy today) on a search for men vs women iq: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/07/16/why-women-finally-have-higher-iqs-than-men/

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Of course there are differences and I understand that people had their heart broken . It is normal to feel some rage , dissapointment or whatever . We are no angels .

But the way Mike talks of women as some inferior or /and incapable "creatures" is just really sad . Not only towards women , but it is a sad represantation of such a contorted psychological space and if this represents majority -- than well I can only pray for better world .

 

All males I know privatley are MILES apart from this type of thinking , although they may have had tragic split ups and hard time in relationship or seducing women and bitch about their partners sometimes -- still they are so far removed from any of this kind of grey thinking .

OK I am 40 years old at the moment and you know maybe I live on another planet too .

 

Mike was not the only one posting in this thread from a twisted or otherwise cringe-worthy psychological space, suninmyeyes...

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OH!, please, no. I don't want to have to go through all that again. I doubt my old body could take it and there's no doubt my mind couldn't take it again.

 

But thanks. That was a very kind thought.

Too late :P

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I think the initial idea was really good. And the guy who gives Rumi books- so dreamy. Perhaps Rumi just too much in early relationship stages though. My husband gave me a Shel Silverstein book when we were dating and that was quite charming. Perhaps now we are ready for Rumi. I should buy it for him.

 

Was occasionally reading but staying out this thread as I am really too old and attached for the bar/pick up scene anyway, but since serendipity gave me what I think is a funny story about how random douche comments can bite ya in the a** I'll write it.

 

Went to the piano/sing-a-long bar with friends last night and I was on edge of the dance floor busting some moves because some moldy oldie song turned me on and well, frankly, I was sort of tore down. Some guy walks up and says,

 

"Are you Brazilian? The only people I've with dance moves like that have been Brazilians."

 

The coincidence was we had 2 Brazilian college students with our group who have just been in the US 3 weeks. So, I flip into fully geeked out spaz mode.

 

"OMG Brazil! I'm not from Brazil! But these guys, they really are!! OMG Brazil!"

 

So I tell the Brazilians what he said and they look at the guy really puzzled and say,

 

"N,o that wasn't a Brazilian dance and this is not Brazilian music."

 

Then they really started to crack up too and this guy got really embarrassed and slunk off. Now I know you are probably thinking this guy sounds a little off and even creepy, almost certainly a douche. Although, he did have an awesome hat. I do feel a little bad now that perhaps I should have been more gracious and accepted this as a compliment. After all,I was secretly thinking I was at least a better dancer than the rest of the other goofy white American girls anyway.

 

Not sure it has much to do with the thread, perhaps there should be a wise proverb about books, lizards and the equator.

Edited by zanshin
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Mike was not the only one posting in this thread from a twisted or otherwise cringe-worthy psychological space, suninmyeyes...

I have not read the whole thread , just bits here and there , I think I opened thread somwhere near his post and it garbbed my attention to read all due to first few sentences or something , I was suprised .

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I do feel a little bad now that perhaps I should have been more gracious and accepted this as a compliment.

Yeah, you should be ashamed. Some of us white boys can dance. Hehehe.

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I was practicing Bagua at a bus stop one day while waiting for a bus. This guy comes up to me and asks if I was practicing dancing *dies*. Uhm no, martial arts. Well to make a long story short, he was definitely for sure going to have to learn that sort of martial arts and come out to a class! Dancing *grumbles*...

 

More funny dating talk... I had this friend.. this was about 20 years ago he tried this... he was convinced that if he walked up to 100 women per day and asked them if they would like to go home with him, at least 1 would go for it. Yes he did get slapped a few times lolololol.

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I think it goes both ways though, I have heard too many times to count that men don't like intelligent women (seriously). Go figure.

 

At least personally, I don't like it at all when they pretend to be smarter than they are, and are just argumentative and overbearing. I guess it's similar to the guy in the article...he just wanted to speak from his intelligence and not have a real conversation and listen to what she was talking about. As smart as he might be about various things, that's not actually intelligent, is it?

 

I find that this stuff always goes both ways, but it can be challenging to see how.

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Depends on their looks, too (mike said he's going after only 10's)

 

I've found that girls who are attractive (or were attractive in their formative years, middle school and high school) just go through life having things handed to them just for showing up. People like them and give them things. People help them out more than they help out other (non attractive) people.

 

They rarely have to pay their own way (through money or through work) and they don't really have to work on bettering themselves (on a personal level or an intellectual level).

 

Yeah, sometimes it's hard striking up intelligent conversations with women who have been beautiful their whole lives. They haven't had to.

 

Instead many of those types of women just seek out thrills.

 

 

Now I'm going to say something maybe crazy!

 

The nicest and smarted women I have known and still know are women who are either:

 

1) Not conventionally attractive

 

2) Were not conventionally attractive during their formative years (middle school/high school)

 

Interestingly, the same can be said about guys!!!

 

The attractive guys who were pursued by girls and who were the "popular" kids are more likely to be douchebags. The guys who were the fat kids growing up, the kids who were picked on, who had late growth spurts, etc, are the nicest and most down to earth guys (even if they later grow into their bodies and their personalities).

 

Why?

 

They had to work for it.

Hold on, weren't you supposed to be away for the weekend? ;) Or am I getting posters all mixed up again?

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Lot of mental masturbation in here now lol. We are really talking about going after "10s", etc? As if thats the only criteria that matters. really makes it hard to take some of these dudes views on these things seriously. How f'ing childish.

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