resonant111

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I practice Kunlun Neigong under Max. I've already contacted him regarding this and am awaiting a reply.

 

I'm well aware that energetic practices are not physical exercise. I already have plans for becoming more active (which is why I'm looking for a Bagua teacher in my area.) I have some exercises from when I was taking Wing Chun to get me started in the meantime. Quitting the green stuff is just the first step, cuz I'll need that extra energy to keep up my motivation for practicing.

 

I know sexual urges are natural and I don't have any shame issues around it. I just want to see what kind of difference preserving sexual energy makes in my practice. It's not that I feel any kind of need to be celibate, it's something I want to try.

 

Well good luck then. I think you've got a good attitude about it. Celibacy isn't a bad thing, but I don't think it's meant to be a lifestyle. I was encouraged to be celibate when I was a teenager and it was a rough experience, even after a few days, now I can go weeks without even having a twitch. I'm sure maturity has something to do with it and maybe that's why most people that practiced sexual retention back in the old days tended to be middle aged, it wasn't as rough on their libido.

 

Aaron

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Well good luck then. I think you've got a good attitude about it. Celibacy isn't a bad thing, but I don't think it's meant to be a lifestyle. I was encouraged to be celibate when I was a teenager and it was a rough experience, even after a few days, now I can go weeks without even having a twitch. I'm sure maturity has something to do with it and maybe that's why most people that practiced sexual retention back in the old days tended to be middle aged, it wasn't as rough on their libido.

 

Aaron

 

Yeah, I don't think I could have pulled off celibacy as a teen. Or even five years ago. I think I'm in a pretty good position to try it now, though. Thanks for the luck!

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Please study the articles and techniques for transmuting your sexual energy in the following link: LINK

Edited by FieryWind

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This is a complex topic. Not just one answer. Worth while to examine the pros and cons of different approaches in order to develop a balanced approach.

Good to read people being honest from many different views.

 

Even if i don't reach my goals it's not a big deal...worst that happens is i keep repeating the same cycle over and over again. The potential benefits outweigh the risks so i might as well try.

You're missing an important part here, that is generally insufficiently acknowledged in popular books. Read the 'Dangers and Warnings' section. One of the basic dangers is that residual tension in the lower abdomen binds tissue and restricts qi and blood flow. This occurs gradually, over a long period of time, for diligent misguided practitioners, produces unfortunate conditions and is stubborn to resolve.

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If you want to go celibate you need to understand the relationship with diet, to not overly arouse a frustrated sexuality you need to only eat very bland food, no sugar, nothing rich at all, no sauces or spices just really boring bland food.

 

Also you need to know exactly how to transmute the energy, Gurdjieff writes in his books about the results of monks who practised celibacy without the proper knowledge, they would either become fat like pigs or lean and cruel hearted due to the misuse of sexual energy in the body.

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If you want to go celibate you need to understand the relationship with diet, to not overly arouse a frustrated sexuality you need to only eat very bland food, no sugar, nothing rich at all, no sauces or spices just really boring bland food.

 

Also you need to know exactly how to transmute the energy, Gurdjieff writes in his books about the results of monks who practised celibacy without the proper knowledge, they would either become fat like pigs or lean and cruel hearted due to the misuse of sexual energy in the body.

 

I've realised that it fundamentally comes down to eating less. I've not found carbs to be a problem-if not over consumed. From the end of last year I started following the basic principles of not mixing protein and carbs with meals, and drinking only moderate amounts of fluids during meals. I have for a while now stopped drinking 'liquid sugar' be it fruit juice or anything else. The result? 'Effortless' weight loss. That with eating bread and chocolate most days-but only once a day.

 

If I eat out or am visiting people, I make sure I leave plenty of time between eating anything, until I am genuinely hungry again. It allows the body to process the food and gives it a rest also. I strongly disagree with the 'eating small but regular' philosophy, but I realise it seems to work for some.

 

As for 'retention' much has already been written and it would help people if they used the search function. Perhaps we should consider a sub-forum for this subject-with previous threads collected and placed there-because it keeps getting posted about. It would allow easy reference for the significant interest that this matter has.

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I've realised that it fundamentally comes down to eating less. I've not found carbs to be a problem-if not over consumed. From the end of last year I started following the basic principles of not mixing protein and carbs with meals, and drinking only moderate amounts of fluids during meals. I have for a while now stopped drinking 'liquid sugar' be it fruit juice or anything else. The result? 'Effortless' weight loss. That with eating bread and chocolate most days-but only once a day.

 

If I eat out or am visiting people, I make sure I leave plenty of time between eating anything, until I am genuinely hungry again. It allows the body to process the food and gives it a rest also. I strongly disagree with the 'eating small but regular' philosophy, but I realise it seems to work for some.

 

As for 'retention' much has already been written and it would help people if they used the search function. Perhaps we should consider a sub-forum for this subject-with previous threads collected and placed there-because it keeps getting posted about. It would allow easy reference for the significant interest that this matter has.

 

I have been reading about the Kebzeh Sufis of the Caucasus mountains who are renowned for their longevity and low rates of disease and they say the same thing that we eat too much, in order for our bodies to properly eliminate toxins it needs uninterrupted time to do so without snacks or coffee , so we should only be having a few meals a day and if we have a lot of meat only one meal a day, they would consider the regular grazing diet as the most harmful one going.

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I have been reading about the Kebzeh Sufis of the Caucasus mountains who are renowned for their longevity and low rates of disease and they say the same thing that we eat too much, in order for our bodies to properly eliminate toxins it needs uninterrupted time to do so without snacks or coffee , so we should only be having a few meals a day and if we have a lot of meat only one meal a day, they would consider the regular grazing diet as the most harmful one going.

 

Eating-and I think sex-have gone from being natural acts, to acts of recreation. In part because people are bored, and in part because other people see the opportunity to make money from this. The manipulation of people's natural drives looks like it has just led 'advanced' societies to the ruination of their health and their happiness.

 

Of course, this 'ideal' has been exported to the rest of the world as well. Young, 'educated', Chinese people aspire to the 'American' lifestyle, though I suspect not the obesity and health problems that come with it. Watching the grandparents take their infant grandchildren to McDonalds here is not a happy sight to behold.

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I have been reading about the Kebzeh Sufis of the Caucasus mountains who are renowned for their longevity and low rates of disease and they say the same thing that we eat too much, in order for our bodies to properly eliminate toxins it needs uninterrupted time to do so without snacks or coffee , so we should only be having a few meals a day and if we have a lot of meat only one meal a day, they would consider the regular grazing diet as the most harmful one going.

 

From my own experience I would offer some simple advice.

 

Keep a good time interval between meals. If a very large meal is eaten, then that might well last a person most of the day. Otherwise, 4 to 5 hours between eating anything is good.

 

Your body will tell you when your stomach is empty and you are genuinely ready for another meal. If a person does a lot of activity then they will eat more. On a day where there is little activity, then eat less. Unfortunately due to bad habits many people have turned this the opposite way around, and sit watching the TV or in the cinema with buckets of coke and popcorn and such like...

 

Drink only small amounts or nothing at all during meals, or drink half an hour before or two hours after the meal. Drinking a lot during a meal, or closely after a meal will definitely cause indigestion.

Keep your carbs to once a day. That is anything processed. Fruit is best eaten as a meal in itself, and not after eating other foods. Eating carbs once a day has not led to any energy swings or cravings for me.

 

Eat your vegetables. Either a large salad or steamed vegetables with all large meals. I often eat eggs alone for breakfast, either fried or scrambled. I've had no digestion problems or energy swings doing so.

 

Avoid juices. Eat the whole vegetable or fruit. The fibre is really important.

 

Avoid sodas. Try sparkling water instead. I have and haven't missed the sodas.

 

Don't demonise food types because people abuse themselves by consuming them in excess. Sometimes I have some fresh orange juice and sometimes I have a coke. Most of the time I apply a little will power and pass on them. As with most things in life, some will power is needed at times.

 

Saying 'never' can lead to binging, where a person decides they will give something up, but have one last splurge before doing so. Been there, done that. Much better to 'never say never' and avoid any sense of being deprived. That applies not just to food.

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When you feel the need to merge with the feminine/masculine, don't judge it. This is simply implying the urge you feel to return to your natural state of being, which is unconditional pure love.

 

You may condition love your entire life, resist and do not allow your inner feminine, this will just increase the temperature of women. They will become hotter and hotter, because you cool down more and more as you resist your inner feminine.

 

Actually, the resistance will eventually evaporate you like a coil resisting too high currents :mellow:

 

We should all be scared and stop resisting the inner feminine... because...

 

OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO EVAPORATE IF WE RESIST OUR INNER FEMININE!! AAAAaaaah!!! :unsure:

 

Seriously... Allow yourself to fall towards love <_<

 

Because then you'll be like :D and :wub: which is pretty B)

Edited by Everything

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Images keep coming back? Before the crucial moment stop looking at the show and during climax don't have the images and any associated fantasies in mind. Just stick to the sensations in the body with a neutral, open state of mind as possible. You may find that eventually what was really alluring becomes just alluring, then interesting, then a passing interest and then just plain dull.

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i wanna update my situation. despite my best intentions, aaron's advice and predictions have turned out to be correct. i'm giving up on my "no ejaculation" vow because it's done nothing but complicate my life (ironically enough). i feel like perhaps, i have brainwashed myself into thinking that "building energy" is necessary for personal liberation.

 

in my experience, it has only caused more suffering. i mean, it's literally gotten to the point where my main focus in life is not ejaculating. that worry, in and of itself, has been more emotionally draining than any ejaculation ever could be.

 

my "final try" i went two weeks, and it felt so completely and totally unnatural during the second week. felt like i had far more energy than my being could even hope to express. i felt like every action i made, especially in social situations, was giving off an almost creepy sexual vibe. i felt like my natural being was totally and completely repressed, and was manifesting itself in a very awkward ways. around males, i felt i was inadvertently giving off sexual cues and i seemed they thought i was "hitting on them" even though i wasn't.

 

as a result, i started to block off my emotional center almost completely around guys. it's like i had all this energy boiling in me and i couldn't express ANYTHING without people thinking i was gay or hitting on them or something. i couldn't express myself around women either, cuz' i didn't want them to think i was some horny creep. in short, i had WAY too much sex energy boiling in me, causing what trunk would refer to as "psychological stagnation." i felt like my non-ejaculation was doing nothing but repressing my natural sexual self and amplifying my own emotional issues.

 

props to seth ananda for his success with this, but i'm done. i think i'm just going to masturbate 3-4x a week at this point and go back to being a "normal" guy. it seems like i undertook this process out of fear and fear alone...and that's no way to live life.

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celibacy without sublimation is pointless...true.

 

:)

 

but you're probably going to be back on this path. anyone who is willing to try no masturbation has potential for growth. anyone who is willing to give it up for prolonged periods of time has already broken through an important checkpoint.

 

and when you come back, try this. lift your arms to the sky and open your palms. Open your eyes wide to look at your hands. Hold this position for 5-10 minutes every day. Your sexual energy will distribute beautifully. You'll have a much easier time.

 

 

 

i wanna update my situation. despite my best intentions, aaron's advice and predictions have turned out to be correct. i'm giving up on my "no ejaculation" vow because it's done nothing but complicate my life (ironically enough). i feel like perhaps, i have brainwashed myself into thinking that "building energy" is necessary for personal liberation.

 

in my experience, it has only caused more suffering. i mean, it's literally gotten to the point where my main focus in life is not ejaculating. that worry, in and of itself, has been more emotionally draining than any ejaculation ever could be.

 

my "final try" i went two weeks, and it felt so completely and totally unnatural during the second week. felt like i had far more energy than my being could even hope to express. i felt like every action i made, especially in social situations, was giving off an almost creepy sexual vibe. i felt like my natural being was totally and completely repressed, and was manifesting itself in a very awkward ways. around males, i felt i was inadvertently giving off sexual cues and i seemed they thought i was "hitting on them" even though i wasn't.

 

as a result, i started to block off my emotional center almost completely around guys. it's like i had all this energy boiling in me and i couldn't express ANYTHING without people thinking i was gay or hitting on them or something. i couldn't express myself around women either, cuz' i didn't want them to think i was some horny creep. in short, i had WAY too much sex energy boiling in me, causing what trunk would refer to as "psychological stagnation." i felt like my non-ejaculation was doing nothing but repressing my natural sexual self and amplifying my own emotional issues.

 

props to seth ananda for his success with this, but i'm done. i think i'm just going to masturbate 3-4x a week at this point and go back to being a "normal" guy. it seems like i undertook this process out of fear and fear alone...and that's no way to live life.

Edited by thetaoiseasy

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i wanna update my situation. despite my best intentions, aaron's advice and predictions have turned out to be correct. i'm giving up on my "no ejaculation" vow because it's done nothing but complicate my life (ironically enough). i feel like perhaps, i have brainwashed myself into thinking that "building energy" is necessary for personal liberation.

 

in my experience, it has only caused more suffering. i mean, it's literally gotten to the point where my main focus in life is not ejaculating. that worry, in and of itself, has been more emotionally draining than any ejaculation ever could be.

 

my "final try" i went two weeks, and it felt so completely and totally unnatural during the second week. felt like i had far more energy than my being could even hope to express. i felt like every action i made, especially in social situations, was giving off an almost creepy sexual vibe. i felt like my natural being was totally and completely repressed, and was manifesting itself in a very awkward ways. around males, i felt i was inadvertently giving off sexual cues and i seemed they thought i was "hitting on them" even though i wasn't.

 

as a result, i started to block off my emotional center almost completely around guys. it's like i had all this energy boiling in me and i couldn't express ANYTHING without people thinking i was gay or hitting on them or something. i couldn't express myself around women either, cuz' i didn't want them to think i was some horny creep. in short, i had WAY too much sex energy boiling in me, causing what trunk would refer to as "psychological stagnation." i felt like my non-ejaculation was doing nothing but repressing my natural sexual self and amplifying my own emotional issues.

 

props to seth ananda for his success with this, but i'm done. i think i'm just going to masturbate 3-4x a week at this point and go back to being a "normal" guy. it seems like i undertook this process out of fear and fear alone...and that's no way to live life.

 

I think the important thing is that you live your life in a way that causes you no harm. This doesn't necessarily mean a guiltless life, but you should have healthy guilt. If you were to say, sneak behind a bush and masturbate in the local park, then you should probably feel guilt, but if you're just masturbating in your bedroom (or the shower) then there shouldn't be any reason to feel guilty. Sex is a very natural part of who we are and the most unnatural thing we can do is deny it. I think for most people celibacy is very damaging psychologically. The naked truth is that there are very few men who actually are able to maintain celibacy for the long term, but with that said, some men are. The problem comes when we want to be one of those few men, but this is sort of like wanting to be double jointed, if we don't have that capacity we can never really be double jointed, even if we do become a bit more flexible. Should we feel guilty about this? Of course not, so what's the point in torturing ourselves over it.

 

Each of us should know our own abilities and capacities and accept them. This doesn't mean that we can't test them and try to succeed, but in the same way, if we don't succeed we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it.

 

I think your attitude is very healthy and I wish you luck in whatever you decide. As Taoiseasy said, you might come back to celibacy, but if you do, make sure it's for the right reason and that you're prepared for it. Never allow guilt to motivate your desire for celibacy. What they're finding in sexual addiction therapy is that celibacy can be more damaging than redirecting thoughts. Unlike alcoholism, the total abstinence of sex is nearly impossible for a sex addict, but with therapy and counseling they can reduce the urges and return to a fairly healthy sex life.

 

I don't think you're a sex addict. You're just a misinformed young man who has believed the myth of the "good boy", not realizing you're already a good boy and that there's no reason to believe otherwise. We ALL think about sex, men and women, so you're not alone in that regard. My advice now is to live your life and enjoy your body. It's yours to enjoy and no one has the right to dictate when and how you should be able to enjoy it.

 

Aaron

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When you change up your life because of a practice, I think the best way to succeed is by where the change is coming from- your practice should fuel your change, not the other way around.

 

Here's what I mean...

 

If you think you should quit masturbating, or become a vegetarian, or stop eating chocolate, or stop watching tv, in the hopes it will "better your practice", you will most likely fail. Why? Because you're trying to force yourself into something that, on some level, you don't "need" but you only "think" you need. You're constantly going to be looking "backwards" thinking "I could be masturbating right now and feeling good" or "I could be eating that tasty BBQ sandwich right now" or "I could be watching my favorite tv show right now" and you're going to fail, most likely.

 

But, if, over the course of escalating your practice you start to notice that your energy is a bit different after masturbation, if you start to realize that after eating heavy meat you don't feel so great, if, as you start watching tv, you begin thinking "I could be practicing right now", THEN you start to change your life in a CONSTRUCTIVE way.

 

When you do this, you aren't looking "backwards" in to what you have "given up." But you're looking FORWARD into bettering your practice.

 

It will keep you motivated, keep you happy, and make you more successful in the long run.

 

So by all means, keep masturbating. It's fun, it feels good, it's safe, and doesn't hurt anybody. If it makes you feel good, whatever. Keep practicing as you're doing it.

 

Maybe one day, after masturbating, you'll go "huh... I don't know if I like the way my energy is after I jerk it."

 

And maybe you won't.

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Maybe one day, after masturbating, you'll go "huh... I don't know if I like the way my energy is after I jerk it."

 

And maybe you won't.

 

i've definitely been at that point where i thought "i don't like the way i feel after i wank." many times. thing is, that feeling was motivated almost entirely by a VERY firm belief that it was a total waste and a loss. it was a feeling amplified by guilt, fear and disappointment more than anything.

 

my "final try" i went two weeks without mb and was very, very diligent in curbing lustful thoughts, images etc. despite my best efforts, I didn't like the way my energy felt AT ALL by day 12. i felt repressed, like i had cut off my connection to sexuality altogether...it just felt really weird and unnatural, and was wreaking havoc on my emotions in general.

 

if i had never read all this esoteric literature about transmuting semen there is NO way i would have ever taken up the practice as it totally goes against nature itself. in other words, my entire faith in this practice was founded on belief more than anything.

 

if retention works for others that's cool. i'm just at the point where i need to let go of all this stuff and stop worrying so much. it's just where i'm at right now, i gotta let go.

Edited by resonant111

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ok, i've decided i'm going to mb 1x a week from here on out. that way i get the best of both worlds...i can satisfy both my subconscious desires for "energy retention" and "release" at the same time.

 

gonna spend a week "retaining energy" and release it on the weekend as a reward or something, totally guilt free. seems more balanced than the extremes of daily wanking or total celibacy.

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Eating-and I think sex-have gone from being natural acts, to acts of recreation. In part because people are bored, and in part because other people see the opportunity to make money from this. The manipulation of people's natural drives looks like it has just led 'advanced' societies to the ruination of their health and their happiness.

 

Of course, this 'ideal' has been exported to the rest of the world as well. Young, 'educated', Chinese people aspire to the 'American' lifestyle, though I suspect not the obesity and health problems that come with it. Watching the grandparents take their infant grandchildren to McDonalds here is not a happy sight to behold.

 

Great discussion, so many great points

 

Mike, you hit the nail right on the head. In my perspective, our natural drives have been skewed by a lot of popular media (we're immersed in information, whereas ancient man was immersed in nature), so noise covers a lot of signal. I think it is helpful to approach from the EFT angle at times as an adjunct, you only invest minutes throughout the day and if the diagnostic is wrong, no harm done.

 

Here is an approach that, in my small experience, resulted in the dropping of this attachment over the course of about a week (it freed up gigabytes of memory BTW)- I did 3 rounds (about a minute) in the morning before practice, another 3 at night before practice

 

 

Just follow along at 5:15 in the clip - it costs nothing except a minute of time - mileage may vary, but certainly worth a go for a week to see what happens.

All the best luck in your practice.

R

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I found this.

 

I think it is important to remember that sexual energy is not a magic elixir that brings only positive energy. It is more like an amplifier. It will take whatever the energy of your thoughts and feelings is an multiply it. Thus, if you already had some self-destructive tendencies, they could become stronger when you start to practice sexual retention.

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Ive been doing this everyday for the past few days- in the morning and evening which is like sexual qigong, Im going to go into this further but good to start somewhere also i hit my dick and pull my foreskin meditating on sensations. I find this works well as instead of repressing my sexuality I feel like im giving it the attention it deserves

 

It is best to do these exercises in the morning before dressing or in the evening before bed. In all of the exercises below, take the recommended position, calm the mind, place the tongue on the upper palate and breathe evenly. As you do the exercises feel how your body responds, sending the mind to the area.

 

1. Running Energy.

 

Sit, stand or lie on your back. Relax and place your tongue on the upper palate. Imagine a current of energy running from your perenium up your spine, over the top of your head, down your front midline to the perenium. Run the energy continuously, with your mind following the track of the energy. Notice any areas of blockage or heat or cold and send energy to them. Continue running the energy for several minutes.

 

2. Pushing the abdomen

 

Lie on your back. Place your right hand over the left and place where your bottom ribs come together on your chest. Push downwards to the pubic bone, concentrating on the sensation. Repeat 36 times.

 

3. Pushing the sides of the abdomen

 

Do the same as number 2, but separate your hands this time, side by side, and push downwards simultaneously. This broadens the area affected and treats other meridians.

 

4. Kneading the navel.

 

Lie on your back. Place your right hand over your left and massage around the navel 36 times each, clockwise and counter-clockwise. If you feel the sensation of a mass beneath the naval, press and rub with the three middle fingers. (This is usually qi and blood stagnation and will disappate.)

 

5. Kneading the spermatic cords.

 

Sit with your legs spread openly. With the thumb, index and middle finger grasp the spermatic cords on the side of the root of the penis. Gently twist them to the left and right 50 times. You should feel a slight aching and distention. Breathe deeply.

 

6. Kneading the testicles.

 

Grasp and slightly elevate the root of the penis with the thumb and index finger of your right hand. Massage the left testicle with the left time 50 times. Repeat on the other side.

 

7. Rubbing the testicles

 

Sit with your legs spread. Hold both testicles from below with the idnex and middle fingers of both hands. Rub, twist and massage testicles right and left 50 times.

 

8. Lifting the testicles

 

Sit as above with the testicles held the same way. Lift as you inhale slowly and lower them while slowly exhaling. Repeat three times. You should fees some distention.

 

9. Pounding the testicles

 

Stand, feet shoulder width apart. Make loose fists and gently pound the testicles 25 times each. You should NOT feel pain, but rather some aching distention.

 

10. Kidney Massage

 

Stand erect, with loose fists. Reach back to your lumbar area and pound over the kidneys with the open part of your fist 25 times. Turn the fist over, knuckle side to the back, and massage the kidneys until you feel some heat.

 

11. Chest and back pounding

 

Stand erect with your hands curled in a loose fist and your elbows elevated to the side. Twist to the left and right. The arm in front should pound your chest (palm toward the chest) and the rear arm should pound your back below the scapula. Reverse. Do each set 50 times.

 

12. Knee rotations

 

Stand with the feet close together, bend the knees, bend and place the palms on the knees. Rotate the knees clockwise and counter-clockwise 25 times each.

 

13. Rubbing Spleen 6

 

Widen your stance and bend over with the thumbs on your tibia bone just above the inner ankles. Slide your thumbs up. Approximately 3-4 finger widths up you will feel a depression which may be slightly sore. Let your thumbs sink into the depression and rub 25 times.

 

14. Rolling the stick or ball

 

Sit with a ball, stick or tootsie roller under your foot. Roll back and forth 50 times with each foot, activating Kidney 1 at the base of the ball of your foot. If the stick is long enough you can do this with both feet simultaneously.

 

15. Dantian breathing

 

Sit or stand in a horse position, knees slightly bent, shoulder width apart. Bring your right hand over your left hand and place on your lower abdomen (dantian). Breathe deeply and calmly several times.

 

Also I go to sleep in my jeans as I find most of the time I ejaculate is in my half asleep unconscious state and somehow either going to sleep naked in a hot country or wearing jeans in cold one works.

 

Also take this seriously take it like beating a heroin addiction. If you think its not so serious and ok, then thats weak pussy shit.

Edited by sinansencer

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I found this.

 

Quote

I think it is important to remember that sexual energy is not a magic elixir that brings only positive energy. It is more like an amplifier. It will take whatever the energy of your thoughts and feelings is an multiply it. Thus, if you already had some self-destructive tendencies, they could become stronger when you start to practice sexual retention.

 

This has been totally true in my experience. It seems to amplify not only positive emotions but negative as well.

 

And i must confess...since i "gave up" on my retention a few days ago I've been "releasing" daily. As of yesterday it seemed fine but today i'm starting to feel legitimately dull, tired, and have a horrible, horrible headache right now.

 

so i dunno. my mind is straight up divided on this, i can't figure out what to do. full out celibacy was driving me nuts, but going back to wanking is still draining me, despite dropping the guilt about it.

 

what frequency do you guys "release" to maintain a good state of energy (and balance neurochemicals like dopamine, serotonin etc. as they too are involved in this process). i'm thinking once a week might be good for me.

 

i've also been using porn again which is a real shame. i think it's making "release" more draining than it needs to be as well. god, i wish i could figure something out that worked for me...neither full out retention or wanking has really been successful, i gotta figure something out.

Edited by resonant111

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