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What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

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I once comforted a very depressed man. He told me nobody took his work seriously. He then explained he was a clown.

 

I thought that would be the end of the joke. Then it turned out he was a therapy clown for children with cancer in a hospital.

 

In the course of a few details, I felt like a complete jerk going back and forth between empathizing with a guy to laughing at him for being a clown to crying when I realized he tried to make dying kids laugh and feel love and joy.

 

So then I’m asking why nobody takes a guy who does so much good doesn’t get taken seriously.

 

He says, “Oh, I get respect for helping the children. That’s never been an issue. The problem is that they brought in a TV to the ward and some idiot turned the channel to Fox News and Donald Trump as president, and suddenly, nothing else is funny to them.”

Edited by Earl Grey
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Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask

 

There are two secrets to success in life. First of all, don’t tell all you know…

 

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

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A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog.

“I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.”

The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”

The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

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We don’t serve time travelers here,” said the bartender. A time traveler walks into a bar.

 

A man walks past a fridge and thinks he can hear onions singing Bee Gee’s songs but on opening the fridge he discovered it was only the chives talkin’

 

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? Don’t know, don’t care.

 

All those who believe in psychokinesis… raise my hand.

Edited by moment
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In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great!

The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains. “That’s true,” says God. “So what happened?” she asks. God shrugs, “I didn’t recognize you

 

Funny Religious Jokes About Church Wi-Fi

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Fun fact, the Chinese word for cat is mao 貓, probably originally based on the sound they make, but the word for the sound they make now is different- miao .

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Evil, mean, morbid and sarcastic jokes, quite tasteless and lacking class. Enjoy!  

 
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
 
You can't say that Hitler was bad through and through.  He did kill Hitler, after all.
 
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes, replys the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
 
 
Edited by moment
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Number 3   :D

 

some people say I have bad sense of humour , just the other day I made a joke about a car accident .

 

Others complained : "What's so funny about a car accident ,? ..That's not funny, property is damaged , people are injured or killed .... at least wit until the ambulance leaves ! "

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4 hours ago, silent thunder said:

My son just laid me out flat, tears streaming with this one...

 

Old People Are The Greatest...

 

we looped it... omg it just kept getting better...

 

 

 

He had a premonition that it was going to hurt like a bitch.  I'm sure he wasn't wrong.  

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On 1/16/2020 at 7:06 AM, moment said:

 

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

 

 

I find this incredibly funny.   :lol:

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On 1/30/2020 at 3:36 PM, moment said:

Christian Quotes And Sayings Cute. QuotesGram

 

 

I wonder what The Rapture would look like?

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On 02/02/2020 at 4:48 AM, silent thunder said:

My son just laid me out flat, tears streaming with this one...

 

Old People Are The Greatest...

 

we looped it... omg it just kept getting better...

 

 

 

 

 'looped'

 

 

 

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