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Damn, rereading this whole thread it's really clear how far up my own ass my head is lately. This upcoming Vipassana retreat is gonna be good for me.

I have witnessed ( and tried to help in the recovery ) of a woman , who had a 'psychiatric disturbance' ' - she would smoke some strong weed occasionally and that could make things a little different . Then she went to an Osho awareness retreat thingo ... and came back a fractured disturbed mess ... it happened during the retreat and they asked her to leave , with no support or back up for what had been 'released' . And what about the Naga Sadhus ? That is a 'not valid' spiritual tradition ?

I have come to see the psyche not merely as a mind in the psychological sense, but as a layered energetic system populated by subtle forces. At the heart of this view are the subconscious emotional and mental currents, and deeper still, two complementary unconscious currents that I’ve come to think of as the Shiva aspects and the Shakti aspects. The emotional and mental currents we’re all familiar with, but the Shiva and Shakti currents are less obvious, so I will go into some detail about them. They can be recognized through many vivid symbolic pairs: Wildfire / Fireplace The dynamic blaze that consumes and transforms. The hearth that holds the fire safely, giving it purpose and warmth. Fish / Fishbowl The darting, elusive vitality moving through hidden depths. The clear bowl that contains, supports, shapes, and protects its motions. Cat / Dog The graceful, sensitive, easily startled nature that seeks comfort. The loyal guardian that stays close, watching over and calming. Fearful / Protector The trembling instinct that recoils from perceived danger. The steady presence that stands firm, offering safety. These pairs are not idle poetry. They illustrate how the unconscious houses instinctual forces that must evolve together. The Shakti aspect represents a dynamic, vital current — the drive toward life, transformation, emotional vitality, subtle creativity. The Shiva aspect provide containment, the instinctive intelligence that knows how to protect, restrain, channel, and nurture what would otherwise be chaotic. In each pairing: The dynamic life-force is untamed, vital, transformative. The caring containment is protective, shaping, enabling that energy to flourish without harm. They are co-arising: the wild needs the safe space to exist meaningfully; the container finds purpose in cradling the life within. If one seeks only to awaken the dynamic energy (as in a blind kundalini pursuit), without fostering the complementary instinct to contain and guide it, imbalance is inevitable. The system can flare into anxiety, delusion, or emotional overwhelm. This is why so many teachings stress that cultivation is not merely about amplifying energy, but purifying and preparing the mental and emotional channels first, so the deeper forces can safely develop. To purify the emotional and mental currents tangled by personal history, they must be witnessed and brought into greater flow. They are the first terrain of inner work, and through methods such as shadow work, dream exploration, deep feeling and understanding etc, their dysfunctions can be gradually resolved. Only then can the deeper unconscious forces, the Shiva and Shakti layers, find their ground. Importantly, it is the Shiva aspect that must awaken the Shakti aspect, otherwise containment will not occur, and the Shiva aspect in its turn has to first be activated by the flowing current of the emotional and mental currents. Recently, my dreams have begun to show me that when these two deep unconscious instinctual layers find each other and start to mature in their interaction, something new emerges. In symbolic terms, this is represented as a smaller, independent vehicle that will one day travel on its own. This resonates with images from Daoist Neidan (inner alchemy) where an alchemical child is born - an autonomous subtle body that eventually can separate from the main system. This smaller independent vehicle or child is the fruit of a long interplay between mature containment (Shiva) and vitality (Shakti). But the picture does not end here. Overseeing all of this is the witness self, the faculty of clear seeing that stands apart from the energies it observes. This witness is the part that learns to trust that the humble, instinctual containment field is capable of guiding the system more wisely than the anxious grasping of the conscious mind. It slowly informs the conscious mind, which may then serve as the executive agent, ruling not by force but by insight. In the end, I see the conscious mind, gently taught by the witness, becoming the wise steward of the system - allowing these deeper layers to do their work, neither interfering unnecessarily nor abandoning responsibility. Thus the entire architecture of psyche - subconscious, unconscious, witness, and conscious mind - becomes integrated. Each layer performs its unique role, culminating in a new life, an independent vitality born of the interplay between our deepest instinctual forces. A compact visual map (Divine / Mother/ Highest Source) ↓ Witness Self (objective seeing, clear awareness) ↓ Conscious Mind (steward) (makes decisions based on witness insight) ↓ ----------------------------------------------- | | Emotional Stream Mental Stream (Subconscious patterns & biases) ↓ ---------------------------------------------------------------- | | Dynamic Vital Force Containment Field (Shakti aspects) (Shiva aspects) - wildfire, fish, cat, fear - fireplace, fishbowl, dog, protector ↓ Interplay gives rise to: Smaller independent vehicle (new independent ‘entity’ directed by the conscious mind)

There's still some good stuff around the shaolin area. Wugulan style under Wu Nanfang and Shi Dejian. Shaolin xinyiba under Hu Zhengsheng. Both styles are internal and trace back to the temple before the revolution.

Not only in the sacred mountains and adjacent areas like the Shaolin temple but in the big cities. For example my teacher saw one of the priests dressed up in smart clothes and waiting for the bus near the White Cloud Temple in Beijing. Two hours earlier he first saw him wearing robes in the temple. He approached him and asked why he was wearing casual clothes, his reply was: 'I have to go to work. The Chinese Gov. pays me a wage to wear robes in the temple!" Basically the are lay people payed to pose as fake priests. He wasn't impressed about what he saw in some of the sacred mountains he visited. It's all tourism and fake Taoism to lure naive Westerners.

Finally people talking abou the dangers of these retreats. I've heard stories of people who commited suicide after these intense meditation retreats or went into psychosis and mania after some time of meditation. Not sure what exactly triggers the mental illness or if they already had one prior to attending the event, but it affirms what I heard from other sources "Even simple meditation can be dangerous", which is even scarier when we think how meditation was brought to the west as a form of relieving stress for anyone lol They're just as lost in samsara as anyone else in this forum No true spiritual development system focuses on the powers, it's just a sign of good practice and that it's working but they all say you shouldn't stay there, in these guys system powers seems to be the end goal, so I don't think they can call it a "spiritual development system". If you do this I will be your biggest fan bro

If you're capable of structuring your own learning, you can always work through their curriculum yourself. There's obviously degrees of information you won't receive or have access to, but it can give you a chance to familiarize yourself with everything they teach before you pay them to teach you the "next level" of those subjects, if that's something they're able to do. Maybe halfway through self-study, you realize you're not interested in this path as a means of spiritual development. Or maybe you realize it's everything you want to pursue, and you'll feel more confident in your choice to take the classes. The first four years lead to an exam and the joining of their order, with monthly membership meetings and other trainings, retreats, and projects. That means you'll be joining a community and forming deep bonds, possibly sharing intimate things about yourself and placing yourself in a vulnerable position at the mercy of your teachers and community (and paying a lot of money to do so!). So it's important to consider if you want to join their order, if you trust the leaders, if you want camaraderie and growth with the sorts of people who take the courses and eventually join the order, etc. If you enmesh yourself for the sake of information at the expense of relationships, you may eventually face backlash from those who have formed attachments (be those attachments "negative" or "positive"). You mentioned undergoing therapy. Starting school or a new job is difficult enough, and doing so while in therapy is even more challenging. Add magic mysteries and unknown motives, and the weight of activity could be debilitating. It's important to know what you can handle at each level. I'm of the mindset that you will find what you seek, so as others have pointed out, make sure you know what it is that you're seeking. Colloquially, be careful what you wish for. Year 1 - First Step MT101 - Meditation - Essentials to control one's mind EW101 - Energy Cultivation - Core exercises to raise one's energy levels TE101 - Visualization - Introductory training opening of the Third Eye EW102 - Fireball - Creating and manipulating energy objects Year 2 - Developing Core EW103 - Lower Dantian - Accumulation and storage of raw power EW105 - Self-Regulation - Chakra maintenance work that improves energy flow and well-being OW108 - Astral Travel - Awareness of subtle bodies and OBE training AM101 - Magic - Introduction to the Magic system through Arcana System Year 3 - Awakening OW109 - Dreamworld - Exploration of dream worlds, you'll learn skills of remembering dreams, mapping and navigation TE102 - Magus Hall - Continuation of TE101 that activates the Third Eye MT102 - Ego Shedding - Focus on freeing the mind from impediments, negative constructs, and shackles AM122 - The Fool - A module focused on the first of the Major Arcana Year 4 - Becoming Adept AM121 - The Success - Studying the energy of 21 Arcanum - The World AM119 - The Sun - Studying energy of 19 Arcanum - The Sun AM118 - The Moon - Studying energy of 18 Arcanum - The Moon PM106 - Elemental Magic - Exploring the Magic of Fire, Air, Water, and Earth - Parametrization of object scanning

I think the threads have been hidden in some section of the forum only admins and staff can see. It was over the top Chūnibyō syndrome stuff.

Hi folks , I felt like making a (nearly) 4 year update on how I’ve been doing under Rudi’s tutelage. For the record: upon my honor, I have NOT been paid/asked/required to provide my opinion. My testimony is based entirely on my own experiences, and desire to provide any assistance I can to fellow spiritual seekers. My honest feeling is that Rudi’s system should basically be mandatory training before people decide to venture with other paths. When I first started training with him, I had so much bad/unhealthy crap going on in my body, and was suffering from long covid as well as a ton of other things. Slowly, my body has made some serious, positive gains. I genuinely think my gradual health improvement is mostly based on a combo of Rudi’s lifestyle + diet + neidan guidance. Additionally, if you like just learning about neidan (lol, I guess that’s why we’re all here), good lord Rudi knows so much about qi, cultivation, and basically every dimension of spiritual development…..I truly, truly, truly am grateful for everything I’ve learned and can’t express in words how awesome it has been to be part of the school. I hope to continue learning from him, eventually making it on a trip to be checked, and pushing his system to the limit ! That is my 100% honest opinion. Feel free to ask your questions here and I’ll do my best to answer, as long as it adheres to this site’s and Rudi’s rules. Cheers!

.., again, what do you really want to achieve? There are tried and true paths for this kind of knowledge.

it is not accurate to say "we all do" regarding use of AI. No, we do NOT all use AI in creating posts. Some people actually research and check for credibility of sources and information before posting. Those who care about actually having and presenting accurate information do not use AI. Because AI is documented inaccurate 60% of the time.

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What I said was: ...but yes, meditation itself, even outside of retreat can be dangerous from a mental health perspective. Meditation in therapeutic dosages WILL dig up your obscurations, emotional/psychological damage and much more. In fact, meditation IS psychedelic. You will see visions, have time distortions, unitive experiences and much more. In small doses it can make you more calm and less reactive, but in doses intended to be transformative it can cause significant cognitive dissonance at the very least. It isn't a bug, it is a feature. Retreats are where the rubber meets the road. As a meditator of over 30 years, with many retreats under my belt I have witnessed many people spontaneously burst into tears next to me as great traumas have arisen and often resolved, have to leave the retreat, or even have realizations. To learn more about the dangers of meditation and retreats some judicious reading here might illuminate: https://www.cheetahhouse.org/ I would appreciate it greatly if you could please stop assuming there is some malicious motive or intent in my posts. If you would like to address your concerns I would be happy to speak to you directly via messaging. _/\_

They said meditation retreat, not meditation in general. Psychedelics have their place. They can be incredibly useful if taken mindfully, especially with the guidance of someone who knows what they're doing. Intense retreats are not too different. Anyone that's predisposed to psychosis shouldn't do either of them. Anyone who's interested in spiritual growth/exploration/healing can derive benefit from either of them. These huge sweeping "all psychoactive substances are bad" statements are a product of US war on drugs propaganda. All that being said, they're still not compatible with every practice, which is why it's important to ask your teacher.

Not really any more dangerous that going on a meditation retreat or working with the most direct practices. Real, transformative spiritual practice digs up our most protected and ancient pain, attachment, aversion, and leads to a "death" of sorts - it inherently includes risk, and inevitably creates some difficulties for the practitioner. Realization necessarily breaks all of our closely held beliefs about who "we" are what "reality" is, any clinging to what you thought was "true" or "real" has to be let go of.

Aren't entheogens a fairly common cornerstone to shamanic ritual? They were in my experience, but I was admittedly only ever a dabbler. I know a couple of people who have had entheogens as part of their "path" or even the moment of illumination, myself included. While it wasn't part of the moment when understanding dawned for me, it was part of the story. I wouldn't discount it entirely, myself. These substances CAN be quite beneficial in softening or even removing conceptual concretions of the "self" when there are experiences of "unity"/no-self or other/etc. The danger they pose is primarily to those who already have intense grasping to "self" or underdeveloped and weak "self" to begin with, like those with more profound mental health issues such as schizophrenia. Of course, these substances can be unpredictable and have mixed success without some screening and supervision, and aren't really necessary in most cases. Whatever method or lack thereof that works for one person very likely won't work for another. It can happen in countless ways - for some there will be the sound of a pebble on a pot, for others it might happen while in a dentist's waiting room, or while skydiving, or even after ingesting Lysergic acid diethylamide. Most are never going to worry, or need to worry, about abstract conceptual underpinnings as they are entirely dualistic in nature and have no real bearing on the complete realization.

I don't have the answer you're looking for. But to add context to this "commandment," Saul of Tarsus (or possibly one of his followers) did write this to the church at Ephesus, and perhaps for some reason the congregation needed to be addressed in the context of martial relationships. But Yeshua's perspective was much broader. In Matthew 22:35-39 (and similarly in passages in Mark and Luke), he says: It seems strange for Saul, if he in fact wrote the Epistle to the Ephesians, to have focused on loving a singular person as yourself and emphasizing marital relations, when "Saul's teacher" spoke of loving all persons as yourself and emphasized communal relations, as did his apostles when they established various communities after Yeshua's death. My point is that from the Christological perspective, a husband or wife should be loved and respected not by virtue of being a spouse, but by virtue of being a creation and a child of God. In Luke 6:27-33, Yeshua is quoted as saying: If one has a spouse, they should absolutely love and respect said spouse, and we cannot love others if we don't have love and respect for ourselves, for we too are children of the Creator. But what spiritual good does it do to "love" a spouse while hating others? Love of a spouse should be an outpouring of "brotherly" love (itself an outpouring of the love of God), not a gift bestowed upon a person who is seen as a singular extension of the self, either in spirit or as "property," and certainly not as a means of providing salvation to the other. There's also a bit preceding the excerpt you included that says: How interesting that Yeshua is never recorded to have said this.

I'll just say that combining entheogens, or medically treatable mental illness with meditation (especially on retreat) is asking for trouble and should be carefully monitored by a mental health professional.

In his own words, reading does not interest him. Other things interest him more than reading. To each their own. Why do i read? Enjoyment. Instruction. Guidance. Learning. Curiosity. Inspiration. Encouragement. Support. Enhances intuitive flow. Creativity. Problem solving. Understanding. Resonance. To receive message. Self development. Satisfaction. Beauty. Insight. Contentment.

In Zen, there are the ten ox herding pictures. Which might represent the stages towards enlightenment. Personally, I have found that wondering about where you are along the path is only going to reenforce the ideas that you are making any progress. It is self delusion. While I have seen changes in my sitting practice, I do not think of it as progress. Cause I am still where I started. One can not polish a roof tile into a mirror. One can not change into something one is not. Don't get me wrong. I have myself wondered if I made any progress and at what stage I am at. But, have learned that what is important is where you are now. If ever I can release this thinking mind then I hope to experience my true nature. Where would this nature be? I really do not know. The truth eludes me. I do wish you well and hope you find whatever it is you really want.

In reading through the site, it clearly states that the focus is on magic. The goal and motivation is to become a "magus." The site itself states: "Generally, a Magus is someone who possesses enough power to influence external events/objects or people via the use of spiritual force. " So the focus is magic, power, and use of force. Is that what you want and why? It is helpful with any practice at any time, to get clear within yourself and be able to answer with self-honesty: what is it that appeals to me about this practice? what do i hope to get out of it? what is it that i find attractive about it? what is my motivation in learning this, in practicing this? When I have ______________ then I will feel ___________. When I have this ______________, then this is what i will do _______________. The more you are able to examine within and clarify within and be honest about within, regarding your own motivation and intention, then the more clarity you will have about what is a good fit for you in terms of choosing or discarding a practice. Personally for me, there are way too many red flags particularly on this page (link below). See how it resonates for you. Ask yourself "Is this who i want to be?" "Is this the kind of person i see myself as?" "Do i see myself embracing this view, saying these things" "Is this how i view myself in relation to others" "Are these the kind of people I want to hang out with?" "Are these the ideas i want to ingest and allow into my life and shape who i become?" https://ancientmasters.org/library/spiritual-development-in-magic Read every page on the website (for any practice you are considering) keeping the above questions in mind, and paying close attention internally as you read and research, to observing and noticing what your own internal thoughts, feelings, desires, responses, and reactions are. That process in and of itself will stand you in good stead with regards to developing your own internal compass. Best wishes to you on your path, growth, practice, and development.

@Taomeow I tend toward impressionist, post-impressionist, and maybe pre-raphaelite works? But I spent some time looking into Rene Magritte and other surrealist painters/paintings, and found some I quite like. I enjoy the dreamy, liminal space atmosphere in many of them. And the meta-layering-unity-duality and false appearances aspect is fascinating. Like "separating" a thing to show it's wholeness and interconnectedness, revealing nothing can truly be separated. I keep coming back to view La Reproduction Interdite. It's wonderful, thanks again for sharing it. Rene Magritte, The World of Images (1950) Rene Magritte, The Flash (1959) Rene Magritte, Architecture in the Moonlight (1956) Neil Simone, Unknown Neil Simone, Stemming the Tide Antonio Nunziante, Untitled (1956) Rebecca Chaperone, Present Company (2022) Rafal Oblinsky, Ophelia (2024) Welder Wings (Francisco Abril and Nuria Velasco), Unknown Owen Gent, Unknown Moonassi, Keep You Burning (2023)

The danger they pose is to anyone. to everyone.