Corrupt a Wish.

[Sloppy Zhang]

I wish we were like the culture, no money needed, no working needed, machines of varying intelligence doing everything we need. People are free to do whatever they like, living for at least 300+ years.

 

Granted.

 

Now we have a society full of 300 year old + extremely obese people. Our machines have eliminated the need to move around at all. The world population is now 5 times what it is now. Our resources are gone, and on top of that, the machines start to rebel (had to throw that in )

 

I wish I had a doughnut.

[Birch]

Granted.

 

And your doughnut is all you have to eat for the rest of your life.

 

I wish we all cared about each other more than we do.

[forestofemptiness]

Granted. I lock all of you away in a padded asylum because I care so much for you all I don't want any of you to get hurt. You spend the rest of your lives safe, but board, comforted only by a video screen on me making kissy sounds at all of you.

 

I wish I had the power to change the atomic structure of things with my mind.

 

Granted.

 

And your doughnut is all you have to eat for the rest of your life.

 

I wish we all cared about each other more than we do.

[Birch]

Granted.

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

Granted.

 

You used one word, therefore your wish must be in the form of an anagram of the word 'granted', which is 'Dragnet'.

 

Granted. A Dragnet is set up and everyone in the world is hauled into custody. Prisons become over run and prison governors realize if everyone is in prison then the whole world is a prison and simply release them. You have created the modern day world.

 

I wish I had never ending wishes!

[Pietro]

You used one word, therefore your wish must be in the form of an anagram of the word 'granted', which is 'Dragnet'.

 

Granted. A Dragnet is set up and everyone in the world is hauled into custody. Prisons become over run and prison governors realize if everyone is in prison then the whole world is a prison and simply release them. You have created the modern day world.

 

I wish I had never ending wishes!

 

Granted,

you have never ending wishes. They are just never satisfied. But you never reach a form of centeredness or buddhahood. You are always in the wish, and always perceive the limitation.

 

I wish I was not addicted to the internet.

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

Granted,

you have never ending wishes. They are just never satisfied. But you never reach a form of centeredness or buddhahood. You are always in the wish, and always perceive the limitation.

 

I wish I was not addicted to the internet.

 

How true!

 

I wish I was not addicted to the internet.

 

Granted. Not only has your addiction to the internet been cured but in fact you now abhor and detest it, which means you will never come here to post again (don't worry it's not a real wish )

 

I wish I could stop wishing and become centered!

[Dreamingawake]

 

I wish I could stop wishing and become centered!

 

Granted!

You completely lose all desire to do anything and end up living in a cardboard box literally contemplating your naval for the rest of your life.

 

I wish my girlfriends cat could talk. (I'm pretty sure she's mildly psychotic so that could have great entertainment potential )

[Apech]

Granted!

You completely lose all desire to do anything and end up living in a cardboard box literally contemplating your naval for the rest of your life.

 

I wish my girlfriends cat could talk. (I'm pretty sure she's mildly psychotic so that could have great entertainment potential )

 

 

Granted.

 

You become obsessed by hours and hours of pussy talk until you can think of nothing else ... except pussy. Your girlfriend says "You've changed ... you used to be so ...oh never mind ... just pack your bags and go you perv!"

 

I wish that I could think of something to wish for.

Edited October 10, 2009 by apepch7

[Mal]

I wish that I could think of something to wish for.

 

Granted, you continually think of something to wish for, but you just never seem to get a chance to actually wish it

 

I wish I knew if I should get a PSP or a PS3

[Apech]

 

 

I wish I knew if I should get a PSP or a PS3

 

Granted!

 

You have an extra-sensory ability to detect the best games consoles. Your decision making is so uncanny and accurate that Microsoft head hunt you for a six figure salary. You become absorbed into the corporate world of techno geeks. You wear chunky jumpers and have thick rimmed specs - suddenly women seem like another species, you stutter and look at your shoes whenever they approach. You move back in with your parents and take up stamp collecting and your only social interaction is via a Nintendo Wii. You are last seen waving your control stick in a questionable gesture of a solo sexual nature.

 

I wish we could roll back time to the 1970s.

Edited October 10, 2009 by apepch7

[Pietro]

I wish we could roll back time to the 1970s.

why???

 

Granted! We are back in 1970. Just after the sexual revolution. In the middle of the cold war and with a 4 billion people population. In fact everybody went back to the age it has when he was 1970. I was just born. For everybody this is just going through the same thing, but you remember having already lived it all. You use this extra insight to make yourself a better career, but also to buy the right stocks from the market (Microsoft). You son gather so much money that the financial police start to investigate you. And although you haevn't done anything wrong, the probability of you getting every financial decision right are so low, that they arrest you on a "presumption" of guilty. We eventually get back to 2009.. with you in jail.

 

I wish I could share my desire to build a permaculture Taoist community with more people, who would come and join forces here in Portugal

[Apech]

[Mal]

[Dreamingawake]

I wish I could talk to women without stuttering and looking at my shoes.

 

Granted. Instead of stuttering and staring at your shoes, you drool and stare at their boobs!

 

I wish I had 100 million dollars tax free no strings attached.

 

I wish I could talk to women without stuttering and looking at my shoes.

 

Granted. Instead of stuttering and staring at your shoes, you drool and stare at their boobs!

 

I wish I had 100 million dollars tax free no strings attached.

 

I wish I could talk to women without stuttering and looking at my shoes.

 

Granted. Instead of stuttering and staring at your shoes, you drool and stare at their boobs!

 

I wish I had 100 million dollars tax free no strings attached.

[Sloppy Zhang]

I wish I had 100 million dollars tax free no strings attached.

 

Granted. They decide to put it all in crates and air drop it to you. They land right on top of you.... sufficed to say, it's not good for you.

 

I wish I had a pen that actually worked.

[Dreamingawake]

 

I wish I had a pen that actually worked.

 

granted! Your pen now writes in invisible ink

 

I wish our pet rats could sing and dance

[Ninpo-me-this-ninjutsu-me-that]

[Zhuo Ming-Dao]

I wish onions tasted like chocolate(I don't know why either).

 

Granted. Now onions taste like chocolate. Unfortunately, their texture and pungency have remained unchanged. So now, because of the cheap supply, women eat unions during their period and men the world over have to deal with extra tears in addition to their regular fluctuating hormones.

 

I wish my students would be more well behaved in class.

[Apech]

 

I wish my students would be more well behaved in class.

 

 

Granted!

 

Now they stand staring at you with unbearable intensity and will not move an inch without your instruction. You forget to dismiss them one day and they follow you blindly as you leave to go home. Not realizing this you dodge across a busy road - behind you it is a blood bath as a lorry carrying aid for the third world smashes into them. As you run back to help they mutter their last breath "Master, what do we do now?"

 

I wish I could win "Britain's got talent".

[forestofemptiness]

Granted. You win due to your magical singing voice. You become a minor celebrity, people paste youTube videos of you, saying "Can you believe this?" You get a minor record deal. You never make it big, and are doomed to appear in Old Navy commercials, Dancing with the Stars, and various reality shows where you compete with other "stars." You agree to constantly do these things, because, well, "You're going to make it big."

 

I wish I could clap my hands and everything would be well.

 

 

Granted!

 

Now they stand staring at you with unbearable intensity and will not move an inch without your instruction. You forget to dismiss them one day and they follow you blindly as you leave to go home. Not realizing this you dodge across a busy road - behind you it is a blood bath as a lorry carrying aid for the third world smashes into them. As you run back to help they mutter their last breath "Master, what do we do now?"

 

I wish I could win "Britain's got talent".

[-O-]

Granted. You win due to your magical singing voice. You become a minor celebrity, people paste youTube videos of you, saying "Can you believe this?" You get a minor record deal. You never make it big, and are doomed to appear in Old Navy commercials, Dancing with the Stars, and various reality shows where you compete with other "stars." You agree to constantly do these things, because, well, "You're going to make it big."

 

I wish I could clap my hands and everything would be well.

 

 

 

 

Granted! Everything is now well... a water well that is! All landbased life is dead and submerged under water. Thanks!

 

I wish I could wish a great wish!

Edited October 12, 2009 by -O-

[thelerner]

Granted! Everything is now well... a water well that is! All landbased life is dead and submerged under water. Thanks!

 

I wish I could wish a great wish!

 

 

Granted! You see nothing happen, because a great wish, like great charity is done for others anonymously (Somewhere, someone else has something wonderful happen).

 

I wish for a few nice days in the 60's before winter comes.

[Apech]

 

 

I wish for a few nice days in the 60's before winter comes.

 

 

Granted!

 

A space time wormhole sucks you back in time to the 1960's - you are standing in muddy field with 100,000 hippies, Hendrix is playing Purple Haze, you have just smoked a strange cigarette and the sky has turned a weird shade of orange ... someone says "Hey man, far out!" ... but suddenly the wormhole collapses and you are back home.

 

I wish I had a way of stopping Buddhists arguing with Taoists on here.

[-O-]

..I wish I had a way of stopping Buddhists arguing with Taoists on here.

 

 

Granted, the hindu idea of the Buddha being the 5th vajrasattva becomes popular and all Budhist temples are converted to hindu. Now there are 10 times more people agrueing with Taoists over the tennets of the not only the Vajrasattva but every other Hindu god as well. Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

I wish I had a pterodactyl!

Edited October 12, 2009 by -O-