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I have a problem. I don't show any emotions, don't talk about emotions, don't feel strong emotions.

When I feel emotions, I'm stopping that feeling very quickly.

 

I'm like a robot, when I talk I'm using short sentences and tell the facts, but without describing any

emotions.

 

I don't have a hobby or something to be passionate about. I'm boring.

 

When I talk with people I don't look in their eyes. When I'm in a group of people celebrating something and everybody is having fun I almost always keep silence.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me. I can only guess it's related to anxiety.

 

After looking in wikipedia I think it might be depersonalization.

 

Does anyone know what can help me? Is there any qigong which can help?

 

I'm practicing Zhan Zhuang for a month.

Edited by bojole

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OK. Your issues seem to have been around for some time, your mention of doing ZZ for a month is probably one of things that's brought you to this website. There are two things here, how to generally reduce your anxiety, and what possitve effects ZZ might have. As this is a Doaist website, I'll address the positive effects of ZZ. Other, more general methods for reducing anxiety, I'll leave to others.

 

Meditation effects can most definately be positive. However, they take time, and you have to choose the right one for you. There is also the danger of over expectancy. If you over burden any meditative techinque with solving all your problems, it will fail. The progress is slow and, sometimes, not always noticable to start with.

 

If you are finding some enjoyment with ZZ, then keep up with it and it will surely help you with many things. However, you are really having to force it, you may not keep with it, and then it wont help so much.

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Good stuff - if you've got a practice you like, in many ways, the 'spiritual practice' side of your life is now sorted. You keep doing it and, in time, it will silently benefit you.

 

As your for your anxiety around people, I can sympathise with this. One thing, are you comfortable talking to someone on a one-to-one situation? I am not great in a group but I'm quite happy talking to someone in an almost private situation. If this is so, you're doing ok.

 

As for general confidence, this is harder to sort out. Basically, it can often come down to feeling confident with who you are, what you've achieved and what you're doing in life. Over simplistic answer - put effort in to something. Achieve something. Feel better about yourself. This, though, is not always that easy.

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One thing, are you comfortable talking to someone on a one-to-one situation?

No, that is when I might not look in person's eyes.

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Understood - I've been there myself not so long a go. If you're ok with people on a one-to-one basis you're in a place where you can start to build¬† confidence a bit more easily. If not, then there is a little bit more confidence and self-esteem you'll need to build first. A spiritual practice is one part of this. By putting time and effort in, but not too much, you'll start to gain results. This will increase you your self belief, it will also give you more energy levels to do more. Time, effort, and the very fact that you want to improve your-self (the very reason you wrote this post in the first place) will help you make progress. Good luck ‚Äď I'm wishing you well :)

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Nice posts so far.

 

I was somewhat like you when I was very young (teenager - early twenties).  My problem was self confidence.  (I don't have that problem any more.  Hehehe.)

 

Best wishes to you.

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Hi bojole

 

Looking into another's eyes is always extremely uncomfortable when our consciousness is directed inside upon ourselves and our own mental life.  Another persons gaze can feel unbearably intrusive when we have already opened ourselves up to ourselves.

 

Everybody has times when they experience this.  If we are consciously aware of things that we wish to conceal then another persons gaze must be shut out.  If we are being dishonest, eye-contact is hard, if we trying to hide anything it is also hard.  If a person, for some reason, makes us feel inferior and we wish to appear otherwise then eye-contact is very hard.

 

It is more than likely that you are making more of this than is necessary. There are probably many times when you are making normal eye-contact but it completely escapes your awareness because you are not, in that moment, being self conscious.  If other people comment on it with you, then you can assume it is something you do more than others, but even then its not a big deal.

 

About your emotions, you make it sound like this is a long-standing thing with you and not just an apathetic phase.  Some people aren't very emotional because they are living according to principles that don't require outside intervention (e-motion=moved from the outside).  People who take a logical, rule-based approach nearly always know in advance what comes next because they have made sure to orchestrate their circumstances as such.  There is nothing wrong with this, its a perfectly legitimate approach.  They simply live without the need for sudden inspiration.

 

If you are starting to feel frustrated by this, or feeling that life might be richer if you were more enthusiastic about it, then it may be a sign that you are going through a personal shift in perspective.  Often we start getting frustrated with something about ourselves when it has already started to decline!  And during times of shift you may notice emotions making an appearance with an insistence that they haven't in the past.  At first, you will naturally revert back to default mode.  This gets called repression, but there is no volition involved.  With time you will allow then more time and attention and eventually start acting on them.

 

I think Miffymog gave some good advice on techniques, and the dangers of expecting too much too soon.  to become less self-conscious is to become more confident.  Confidence literally means living with faith.  It means letting your words and your behaviours simply issue forth without a fussy self-monitoring of their content.  Confidence is beautiful, charming and charismatic and is the opposite of being boring.

 

Hope this helps!

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Qi Gong might be very helpful.

a form of Qi Gong that incorporates Breathing - some don't

 

Particularly work in the connection between the Lower Dan Tien (LDT) and the Middle Dan Tien (MDT)

(The area just below the MDT) Also become. Aware of the higher heart area slightly to the right of center.

 

For the moment you can view this as a mechanical problem of sorts - as the energy starts connecting again more fully then you will become a good guide on what to do next.

Edited by Spotless

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Particularly work in the connection between the Lower Dan Tien (LDT) and the Middle Dan Tien (MDT)

 

How? Where can I read more about that?

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How? Where can I read more about that?

 

I would suggest a teacher - all of the Qi Gong forms work in moving energy along the front channels. As you progress in the practice you can learn to maintain awareness of the LDT and its tone while being aware of the MDT and this will have a significant impact on your dilemma.

 

Qi Gong in general is incredibly effective in removing all sorts of internal problems. It just takes time and practice - the unfolding is incredible.

 

Regarding good reading on this particular suggestion - I do not know of it exists. I am pretty well along with Qi Gong but not well read in the subject so hopefully some of our brilliant lights here can help on that.

 

A good Master can direct you if one is in your area.

 

 

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I have a problem. I don't show any emotions, don't talk about emotions, don't feel strong emotions.

When I feel emotions, I'm stopping that feeling very quickly.

 

I'm like a robot, when I talk I'm using short sentences and tell the facts, but without describing any

emotions.

 

I don't have a hobby or something to be passionate about. I'm boring.

 

When I talk with people I don't look in their eyes. When I'm in a group of people celebrating something and everybody is having fun I almost always keep silence.

 

I don't know what's wrong with me. I can only guess it's related to anxiety.

 

After looking in wikipedia I think it might be depersonalization.

 

Does anyone know what can help me? Is there any qigong which can help?

 

I'm practicing Zhan Zhuang for a month.

That sounds a lot like I am or was. Do you also tend to drink a lot of alcohol when being around people?

 

if you suppress your emotions thst means that they are negative or you wouldn't suppress them. You could basically have an underlying depression, but put a mantle of no feeling to escape.

 

If you have negative thoughts/feelings I would strongly advise against doing any form of energy practice. Not if you aren't absolutely sure what your underlying thoughts/feelings look like.

 

What you need is something that elevates your mood. I would recommend 'Namo amituofo' + service for that. Namo Amituofo to start developping buddha nature( Postive feelings) and service to weaken ego(negative feelings). You can't go wrong with this combination. After that you can still practice as much Qi Gong as you want. (If you still feel like it)

Edited by Josama

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I personally view this sort of thing in a simple way...the mind is stuck, so there isn't social lubricant. You're not so well able to flow with life. Simple...that's it.

 

The remedy is to practice a type of meditation (external calm abiding meditation), where you're aware of your environment instead of whatever is going on within (feelings thoughts body sensations etc). You train your awareness to go toward the outside...and when it does consistently, you're able to flow with life. The best way is to take a leaf or flower, and look at its details. When the habitual tendency of the mind comes around, going into daydream mode or else feeling body sensation or whatever...then just gently bring your attention back to the qualities of the object, the leaf or whatever it is. Noticing only that in the moment is practicing correctly, and bringing your noticing back to that when it drifted in a gentle way, is also practicing correctly.

Do that for like 10 minutes before a social situation, and you'll notice how much things change for you (provided you did it correctly, by actually training the awareness to go outward and not get stuck in the mind).

The sense of self is primarily what gets us stuck, especially in social dynamics. We're aware of ourselves being too quiet, not having enough eye contact, being this or that too much or not enough...those thoughts are draining to our energy and have a snowball effect of taking us even more internal and closed to the outside. It doesn't mean you're depressed, but it just means that your sense of self is strong, which is related to having higher intelligence...and that the solution is just to release it. When being aware of something outside of us, we're not aware of ourselves in that moment...we've released the sense of self, so that it can no longer dominate our experience.

The throat is related to our sense of self...when we're having a hard time, it tightens. Sometimes we might even have trouble breathing or have vomit come up if the stress is really bad, and we're forced to do something we really don't feel like doing. Obviously, speech is related to the throat as well...so when it's tight, speaking won't happen as naturally. Words of course can come out, but they don't flow out...the whole demeanor is forced in such a situation.

But by releasing the sense of self by being aware of other things, by relaxing and letting go, then the throat loosens. Then speech flows more easily. When you're not aware of your sense of self, there's nothing to hide regarding who you are, because there's not even a thought of who you are...so looking at people's eyes isn't such a big deal. It's only a big deal when there is the burden of who we are that we're carrying...but that burden is simply a thought that can be ignored...you stop feeding it energy and it stops dominating you. The way to stop feeding it energy, is to meditate as described.

 

So yeah, it's not that you literally have no emotions. For instance, I'm sure it doesn't feel great to have the social issues (as I know from some experience), and that's why you made this thread...you had emotions regarding it, because if you literally felt nothing then you wouldn't care about this issue at all, and would therefore do nothing to resolve it. So emotions are there.

Edited by Aetherous
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I personally view this sort of thing in a simple way...the mind is stuck, so there isn't social lubricant. You're not so well able to flow with life. Simple...that's it.

 

The remedy is to practice a type of meditation (external calm abiding meditation), where you're aware of your environment instead of whatever is going on within (feelings thoughts body sensations etc). You train your awareness to go toward the outside...and when it does consistently, you're able to flow with life. The best way is to take a leaf or flower, and look at its details. When the habitual tendency of the mind comes around, going into daydream mode or else feeling body sensation or whatever...then just gently bring your attention back to the qualities of the object, the leaf or whatever it is. Noticing only that in the moment is practicing correctly, and bringing your noticing back to that when it drifted in a gentle way, is also practicing correctly.

 

Do that for like 10 minutes before a social situation, and you'll notice how much things change for you (provided you did it correctly, by actually training the awareness to go outward and not get stuck in the mind).

 

The sense of self is primarily what gets us stuck, especially in social dynamics. We're aware of ourselves being too quiet, not having enough eye contact, being this or that too much or not enough...those thoughts are draining to our energy and have a snowball effect of taking us even more internal and closed to the outside. It doesn't mean you're depressed, but it just means that your sense of self is strong, which is related to having higher intelligence...and that the solution is just to release it. When being aware of something outside of us, we're not aware of ourselves in that moment...we've released the sense of self, so that it can no longer dominate our experience.

 

The throat is related to our sense of self...when we're having a hard time, it tightens. Sometimes we might even have trouble breathing or have vomit come up if the stress is really bad, and we're forced to do something we really don't feel like doing. Obviously, speech is related to the throat as well...so when it's tight, speaking won't happen as naturally. Words of course can come out, but they don't flow out...the whole demeanor is forced in such a situation.

 

But by releasing the sense of self by being aware of other things, by relaxing and letting go, then the throat loosens. Then speech flows more easily. When you're not aware of your sense of self, there's nothing to hide regarding who you are, because there's not even a thought of who you are...so looking at people's eyes isn't such a big deal. It's only a big deal when there is the burden of who we are that we're carrying...but that burden is simply a thought that can be ignored...you stop feeding it energy and it stops dominating you. The way to stop feeding it energy, is to meditate as described.

 

So yeah, it's not that you literally have no emotions. For instance, I'm sure it doesn't feel great to have the social issues (as I know from some experience), and that's why you made this thread...you had emotions regarding it, because if you literally felt nothing then you wouldn't care about this issue at all, and would therefore do nothing to resolve it. So emotions are there.

This is actually a LOT like what I have been discoverimg over the last few weeks and that exercice you describe is actually similiar to something I have been trying the last few days though I concentrated on people instead of objects. I will try it with an object now to see if it makes a difference. Thank you :)

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I heard an interview on NPR a few years ago, it was about a man who had similarly lost emotions.  He commented it was similar to what some Eastern religions seemed to be aiming for, but the state itself felt ghostlike and empty.  Note, he wasn't a meditator, it was a brain fluke.  Ultimately he tested low for some brains hormone thingy and when he started taking some psychoactive drug his feelings returned.

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