Icedude

I want a diploma.

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...and what am I supposed to do with all those fans and followers?

How do they relate to anything?

 

Say I walk up to a person and say: "Listen, I think there's something you should know. Just hold on for a moment." Then my fans and followers will rush in to begin setting up the stage for me. Most likely the street we're on has to be cordoned off during the show. There's make-up and lighting and sound checks for the microphones. The first rows will be my closest devotees, and the newcomers will be at the back. Then I'll adress the person from over a crowd of people, and that's how I get my message across when I talk to people from then on.

...because I have a diploma.

Damm! Good point. I wonder how Dalai Lama gets on.

 

Nevermind. I will get back to the drawing board.

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Just sitting and breathing won't drive nails into planks. Maybe if somebody came along and tied some yellow tape around your head, making you a part of a taped-off section, you'd be contributing. Otherwise I see no point travelling to a remote noisy construction site. Construction sites mean electric saws eating through wood, trucks driving around (including that annoying beeping they make when they back up), and possibly asbestos inhalation. You've been thinking about your breathing, but you've never thought about the construction dust you're breathing in?

This just makes me smile.

You're cute.

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Just sitting and breathing won't drive nails into planks. Maybe if somebody came along and tied some yellow tape around your head, making you a part of a taped-off section, you'd be contributing. Otherwise I see no point travelling to a remote noisy construction site. Construction sites mean electric saws eating through wood, trucks driving around (including that annoying beeping they make when they back up), and possibly asbestos inhalation. You've been thinking about your breathing, but you've never thought about the construction dust you're breathing in?

You're cute.

 

troll-doll-troll-dolls-1353693-396-566.j

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... showing up to work on time, and doesn't mean anything spiritually.

 

Curious ? As when I was late for work my boss gave it a distinct 'spiritual' meaning.

 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Nm3wArqPlhw/UUTJboE6zBI/AAAAAAAAzM0/xE8yKdbslYA/s1600/go+to+hell.jpg

 

Common people have already been hired to do that, and common people are hired to make lunch for them. It is illegal in my country to not do it for money.

 

Common ... people ?

 

slave-party_c_251905.jpg

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What, people with a job that go to work everyday and work in the conditions you outlined above, common type people that have to work for money?

 

How do enlightened people (such as yourself) get by? Money just 'manifests'... they are beyond the need for shelter, food and water .... rich mummy ?

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What, people with a job that go to work everyday and work in the conditions you outlined above, common type people that have to work for money?

 

How do enlightened people (such as yourself) get by? Money just 'manifests'... they are beyond the need for shelter, food and water .... rich mummy ?

 

You don't have to work for money. Even in countries that doesn't have wellfare for people who "has a severe lack of concentration and motivation", you can just work, and then people will usually force lots of money on you. You can also work in order to get paid, without really chasing money. Basic needs are often cheap to satisfy, even when you don't have a farm of your own.

 

I mean "common people" as in "not monks". I am assuming that the people who are now building this temple, aren't spiritual, because monks don't tend to have an official education in construction, and hiring employees based on their religion is discrimination against atheists.

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well as I like to say, if your going to talk the talk, then you also have to look the walk! :D

 

And what adds to looking the walk, more than a diploma hanging on your wall?

{other than beads, robes, shaved hair, funny hats and stuff}

 

Obviously the answer is two diplomas!!!

 

why not get a double diploma, or a degree, or your Masters, and a PHD?!?

 

infact, get them in several different but related fields to increase your 'zone of authority' and to make sure interlopers and upstarts cant get away with questioning you.

 

If you wanted a diploma rather than a degree or higher, because you don't want to waste that much time, well why even bother with a diploma? Here in Aus, and maybe elsewhere you can do a 'certificate' course over like 6 evenings! That still gives you authority over the unwashed masses. if they dare to speak up at one of your talks, you can just point to your certificate on the wall and say nothing!

People will listen to how you answered without using words, and they will know you are wise!

 

Trust me, its a win win situation!

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well as I like to say, if your going to talk the talk, then you also have to look the walk! :D

 

And what adds to looking the walk, more than a diploma hanging on your wall?

{other than beads, robes, shaved hair, funny hats and stuff}

 

Obviously the answer is two diplomas!!!

 

why not get a double diploma, or a degree, or your Masters, and a PHD?!?

 

infact, get them in several different but related fields to increase your 'zone of authority' and to make sure interlopers and upstarts cant get away with questioning you.

 

If you wanted a diploma rather than a degree or higher, because you don't want to waste that much time, well why even bother with a diploma? Here in Aus, and maybe elsewhere you can do a 'certificate' course over like 6 evenings! That still gives you authority over the unwashed masses. if they dare to speak up at one of your talks, you can just point to your certificate on the wall and say nothing!

 

People will listen to how you answered without using words, and they will know you are wise!

 

Trust me, its a win win situation!

or, you can be the guy that the ones with the certificates, diplomas, master, phds, study

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well as I like to say, if your going to talk the talk, then you also have to look the walk! :D

 

And what adds to looking the walk, more than a diploma hanging on your wall?

{other than beads, robes, shaved hair, funny hats and stuff}

 

Obviously the answer is two diplomas!!!

 

why not get a double diploma, or a degree, or your Masters, and a PHD?!?

 

infact, get them in several different but related fields to increase your 'zone of authority' and to make sure interlopers and upstarts cant get away with questioning you.

 

If you wanted a diploma rather than a degree or higher, because you don't want to waste that much time, well why even bother with a diploma? Here in Aus, and maybe elsewhere you can do a 'certificate' course over like 6 evenings! That still gives you authority over the unwashed masses. if they dare to speak up at one of your talks, you can just point to your certificate on the wall and say nothing!

 

People will listen to how you answered without using words, and they will know you are wise!

 

Trust me, its a win win situation!

 

 

Gutei raised his diploma whenever he was asked a question about Zen. A boy attendant began to imitate him in this way. When a visitor asked the boy what his master had preached about, the boy raised his diploma.

 

Gutei heard about the boy's mischief, seized him and took away his diploma with a knife. As the boy screamed and ran out of the room, Gutei called to him. When the boy turned his head to Gutei, Gutei raised up his own diploma. In that instant the boy was enlightened.

When Gutei was about to die, he said to the assembled monks,"I received this awesome diploma from Tenryu. I used it all my life and yet could not exhaust it" and then he passed away. His diploma took up lumberjacking, and never looked back since.

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or, you can be the guy that the ones with the certificates, diplomas, master, phds, study

 

The challenge is not to pass away before this happens. They love to study dead guys.

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..I dont know man, sounds hard...

 

I got the diploma bit down - no worries.

It's called something like a "record of mind transmission" that I have to get.

 

It's kind of weird that you guys are making fun of me, thinking that "awakening is too mystical to get certified". Yes, there is a certain kind of transmission that occurs from teacher to student, which you're going to have to work for in a remote temple, but when you have natural talents like me, who don't need no teacher, you still get a transmission, but from your own mind. ...so I just need to get it validated - that's all.

 

It's kind of like coming to a bakers forum and asking to get a working permit as a baker, and then get countless replies in return, from people who are just baking at home in their kitchens, mocking you for "wanting to show off". So most of you guys don't know, and that's fine. Just don't act like you have to compensate for it. You don't see me belittling you over not being awakened. Have some respect for people.

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It's kind of weird that you guys are making fun of me, thinking that "awakening is too mystical to get certified".

Hey, i'm with you mate, if "Form is Emptiness and Emptiness is Form", then realisation should come with a diploma, you know, to cover the 'form' side of the equation...

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In Fact, once we nail the neurology of awakening and its various forms, on those brain scan thingies, then we should ban anyone ever claiming any form of spiritual awareness or authority, ever, without first proving it via brain imaging tech, and thus getting a diploma, showing mastery, and entitlement to speak.

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It's kind of weird that you guys are making fun of me, thinking that "awakening is too mystical to get certified". Yes, there is a certain kind of transmission that occurs from teacher to student, which you're going to have to work for in a remote temple, but when you have natural talents like me, who don't need no teacher, you still get a transmission, but from your own mind. ...so I just need to get it validated - that's all.

 

What are your natural talents? What is the transmission you've gotten from your own mind?

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Hey, i'm with you mate, if "Form is Emptiness and Emptiness is Form", then realisation should come with a diploma, you know, to cover the 'form' side of the equation...

 

What exactly is it that you're so furious over? Do you hate diplomas and the academic world that's associated with them? Did you become spiritual to "get away from it all"?

 

 

Can you imagine how quite it would be here?

 

Are you kidding me? This forum would be bustling with proved enlightened people educating non-enlightened people. ...but even if it was emptied by this new spiritual revolution, I'm sure that the mods would close the forum in complete satisfaction.

 

 

What are your natural talents? What is the transmission you've gotten from your own mind?

 

My natural talent is that I am awakened. I don't know exactly how awakened I am, as I'm still searching for my limits, but I'm apparently pretty high up there as a holy person according to the scriptures.

 

I wouldn't exactly know how to formulate awakening into words better than Lao Tzu or buddhistic scholars did, and it's fairly complex stuff that would require awakening to fully understand. If I ever make an attempt at putting it into words, I imagine I'd do it in book form.

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It's kind of weird that you guys are making fun of me, thinking that "awakening is too mystical to get certified".

 

I thought we were making fun with you ???

 

Yes, there is a certain kind of transmission that occurs from teacher to student, which you're going to have to work for in a remote temple, but when you have natural talents like me, who don't need no teacher, you still get a transmission, but from your own mind. ...so I just need to get it validated - that's all.

 

Perhaps such natural talents, no need for 'no teacher' (or a teacher) and 'transmission from your own mind' validation wont be given here ... at least without some type of a hint of a demonstration instead of just a declaration ... I mean , anyone can just say anything, cant they ?

 

It's kind of like coming to a bakers forum and asking to get a working permit as a baker, and then get countless replies in return, from people who are just baking at home in their kitchens, mocking you for "wanting to show off". So most of you guys don't know, and that's fine. Just don't act like you have to compensate for it. You don't see me belittling you over not being awakened. Have some respect for people.

 

I guess it is a bit like that ... except the bakers, after their long study, apprentice ship, trial and error, own developed recipes, and all the other stuff that comes with being a baker .... just might want to taste your bread first ... before a new and unknown upstart baker waltzes in and asks for their acknowledgment and endorsement because ...... he says he is good at it.

 

I imagine you might get a more cynical or even hostile approach from a bakers guild or a temple than you do here. I imagine you might not even be let through the door.

 

Can you see that just might be possible ?

Edited by Nungali

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... it's fairly complex stuff that would require awakening to fully understand. ....

 

Have you read Nasruddin ?

 

 

Mulla preached on Fridays at the village mosque. One day, having nothing to preach about, he asked the congregation:

"Do you know the subject I am going to discuss today?" "No" said the people. "Then I refuse to preach to such an ignorant assembly. How could you not know given the events of the past week?" asked Mulla and left hurriedly. Next Friday he went up the minbar and asked: "Do you know the subject of my sermon today?" People fearing a repetition of what had taken place a week before nodded and said: "Yes yes, indeed we know." "Well, then. There is no point in telling you what you already know", said Mulla and left. On the third Friday he ascended the minbar and asked: "Do you know what I am going to speak about today?" "Some of us know and some do not," answered the prepared congregation.

"Excellent, then those who know can tell those who don't", said Mulla and left.
Edited by Nungali
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My natural talent is that I am awakened. I don't know exactly how awakened I am, as I'm still searching for my limits, but I'm apparently pretty high up there as a holy person according to the scriptures.

 

I wouldn't exactly know how to formulate awakening into words better than Lao Tzu or buddhistic scholars did, and it's fairly complex stuff that would require awakening to fully understand. If I ever make an attempt at putting it into words, I imagine I'd do it in book form.

 

Your talent is that you're awake? So is everyone for like 16 hours a day.

 

You probably mean awakened in a metaphorical way...then what have you "awakened" to? What did you realize which you hadn't known before? The content of that realization is more important than having realized it.

 

What is your scriptural proof that you're pretty high up there as a holy person?

 

Are you being sarcastic and kind of trolling everyone with this? It seems so to me.

 

I ask these things honestly...not to prove you wrong, but to help you find your answers, and also get to know you more.

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