I don't know what to do anymore

[Cameron]

If your experiencing these types of things my first thought would be to get with an authentic qigong master to help you sort things out. Do whatever you need to do to take a class with a good teacher.

 

If that isn't available to you my other super general advice without really having any idea what's really going on would be drop any sort of energy work entirely for awhile and drink tons of water.

 

I mean just guzzle water all day.

 

Good luck!

[3bob]

What "other side"? Or "other side of what"?

Yes, I admit that most things are my personal interpretation but many of them are not. For example, some things have come to me second hand, some by conditioning, some by convention, some by other ways. I've met that argument (that's it's all subjective interpretation) before in various forms and I don't buy it (it's also what I unsecretly despise about so-called "spiritual" people.) Here's an idea, I have an intepretation of this "other side" that might be wrong in terms of actual facts. So what I'm really interested in is that part of it - the "fact" of there being an "other side". Otherwise Mr Bob, you're just pushing your own subjective interpretation on the issue (in this case an argument against suicide) and claiming moral and spiritual authority in the process. I hadn't identified you as such but in the future will be careful not to engage you on this type of issue.

 

The other side of the veil to use an additional term, which most of the highly qualified people you alluded to earlier would probably have some experience with being that such is in or part of the realms of energy. (I believe Susan, who spoke of same, was one of your teachers was she not?) As far as me using the word "fact" that should have been put in the context of those that it is fact to which is recorded or documented as being great numbers of well known and well respected people and teachers who have existed at some time during thousands of years of mankinds recorded history who also come from all types of cultures and spiritual backgrounds or ways where direct experience of same is not dismissed. Do as you will Kate.

 

Op - Peace, rest and recovery to you.

[suninmyeyes]

@sunimyeyes Normaly I breath through the nose,but when my nose get's cloged up then I can't breath through the nose. The reason my breathing is so abnormal is due to congestion in my heart and neck.Doing more sports that I already tried,that didn't help neither.Besides I am an athletic person,I am doing sports everyday also,but I must say that in the last months I have changed from hard physical activity mainly weight lifting and jogging,running to soft physical activity martial arts,stretching,circle walking.So now I will normaly do an hour of wing chun training every day if I have time apart from my normal 2 hour classes and 30 min of stretching every evening.

Here I must say that the thing that seemed the most effective at least for opening up my nose is circle walking but somehow found it hard to folow through with it,but now that I think about it I will try to add 30 min of circle walking to my daily practice and to keep through with it,that and doing ZZ barefooted in the forest I found also quite effective but the winter is about to begin here so not possible anymore

 

 

Hope you get to visit that doctor in Paris, maybe tell us what area you live in and someone may PM with suggestion for a good energy teacher/healer you could work with if you are open to that of course.

Otherwise it is good to come here on TTB for a chat if you feel down . Take care and all the best .

[Josama]

I live in Luxembourg,there aren't that many teachers here as far as I know and I can't say anything about their authenticity.

 

Yes I must say that coming here and talking with people about my problem who do understand it makes me feel better.

 

When I told my parents about my problem and having caused this situation by concentrating on my forehead for 2 long they didn't believe me and talking with them about it just get's me frustrated.

[Birch]

The other side of the veil to use an additional term, which most of the highly qualified people you alluded to earlier would probably have some experience with being that such is in or part of the realms of energy. (I believe Susan, who spoke of same, was one of your teachers was she not?) As far as me using the word "fact" that should have been put in the context of those that it is fact to which is recorded or documented as being great numbers of well known and well respected people and teachers who have existed at some time during thousands of years of mankinds recorded history who also come from all types of cultures and spiritual backgrounds or ways where direct experience of same is not dismissed. Do as you will Kate.

 

Op - Peace, rest and recovery to you.

Right, so more appeals to authority:-)

My teacher was Santi and he most certainly did not impose or impress conclusions of the sort. He taught me techniques, not a worldview or a belief-system.

 

While I thank you for your kind wishes of peace, pray tell from what am I supposedly recovering? Your implication being that I am ill or something. Because I disagree?...

[Informer]

I listened to an Audio CD recorded by Alexander Cain,a famous german hypnotist.There are 2 induction songs,in the first you are told to concentrate on a point and he suggests that your eyelids get more and more heavy,he counts from 5 to 0.In the second induction song he suggests that you relax your whole body from the feets upwards speaking a suggestion for every major body part,then he suggests that the body gets heavier and heavier and you fall deeper and deeper,he counts from 5 to 0,at 0 he says "you are sleeping now deep and profound"

The actual suggestions are on song 3,song 4 brings you back.

On song 3 you are first told to form a shield made from golden light around you then he tells that you can use a part of your spirit like an antenna and later he tells you let you spirit wanderat the end he also suggests you that at some point you will see auras.That's all I still remember but the main points.

In the description he states that the CDs are recorded with an extra subliminal method so I don't know what more is suggested.

 

Concerning the depression,my depression is mainly due to the fact that I am in this situation.It sucks not being able to talk with people like I normally would,I get nervous around people even those I had no problems before witth,sometimes even family.Then there is how I see the world,I don't know if you know the feeling un unreality you get when you smoke pot,that feeling like being detached from the world,I have that all the time high 2 which makes it even more difficult for me to try to concentrate on something without thinking about it.Half of my day is normally happiness and half is sadness.

 

@3bob I had rather have to work a lifetime on a karmic debt but being normal then the other way around.

I would also prefer living 10 years a satisfied life then living 30 years an unsatified life.

 

Hi Josama,

 

Can you tell me if the audio guided you through all the chakra's or did you just start at 3rd eye? Where did the audio begin? Thanks.

[Informer]

I listened to an Audio CD recorded by Alexander Cain,a famous german hypnotist.There are 2 induction songs,in the first you are told to concentrate on a point and he suggests that your eyelids get more and more heavy,he counts from 5 to 0.In the second induction song he suggests that you relax your whole body from the feets upwards speaking a suggestion for every major body part,then he suggests that the body gets heavier and heavier and you fall deeper and deeper,he counts from 5 to 0,at 0 he says "you are sleeping now deep and profound"

The actual suggestions are on song 3,song 4 brings you back.

On song 3 you are first told to form a shield made from golden light around you then he tells that you can use a part of your spirit like an antenna and later he tells you let you spirit wanderat the end he also suggests you that at some point you will see auras.That's all I still remember but the main points.

In the description he states that the CDs are recorded with an extra subliminal method so I don't know what more is suggested.

 

Concerning the depression,my depression is mainly due to the fact that I am in this situation.It sucks not being able to talk with people like I normally would,I get nervous around people even those I had no problems before witth,sometimes even family.Then there is how I see the world,I don't know if you know the feeling un unreality you get when you smoke pot,that feeling like being detached from the world,I have that all the time high 2 which makes it even more difficult for me to try to concentrate on something without thinking about it.Half of my day is normally happiness and half is sadness.

 

@3bob I had rather have to work a lifetime on a karmic debt but being normal then the other way around.

I would also prefer living 10 years a satisfied life then living 30 years an unsatified life.

 

Hi Josama,

 

Can you tell me if the audio guided you through all the chakra's or did you just start at 3rd eye? Where did the audio begin? Thanks.

[Josama]

[Informer]

[Informer]

I was depressed for a bit as well, until I found heart-center and that really helped me. I am still anti-social, but more by choice than because of any psychological disorder. It feels like people in close proximity to me interfere with my energy.

[Josama]

Yes, there is a cleansing energy that enters that way, but there is more than that as well.

 

Have you become aware of the rest of the chakra's at all?

I was aware of all my chakras before I entered this state,at that time if I was in a good mood then I would feel them blooming at the front of my body,especially my heart which is my 2nd main chakra after my 3 eye well I believe it to be like this because the colours of my aura are green and indigo.

The chakra I always had problems with was my root.At that time before I started concentrating on my 3 eye only but had already opened it to a good degree I aslo concentrated on my heart over a period ove 2 days,what happened was that all the colours came much more vivid,the whole seemed entirely different but that shook me off I actually thought that it was from cocaine withdrawal.

Now I have that pretty often but it's not as strong as that time.

[3bob]

Right, so more appeals to authority:-)

My teacher was Santi and he most certainly did not impose or impress conclusions of the sort. He taught me techniques, not a worldview or a belief-system.

 

While I thank you for your kind wishes of peace, pray tell from what am I supposedly recovering? Your implication being that I am ill or something. Because I disagree?...

 

Ok, Santi (and Susan was/is one of his co-hearts) Btw, Santi very certainly talked about the "other side" and his experiences of such far more and in greater detail than I ever have! It's true that I don't remember him trying to impose or force such views on others even if it was/is a major part of his activities which are also related to his "techniques". Also I don't remember trying to impose or force any of my views on you in a fanatical type way but you seem to insist that I somehow am??

 

Kate, those wishes include you and or anyone else here if they are hoped for or accepted. Note: In my last post there was the prefix of "Op" which was directed at the original poster along the lines of peace, rest and recovery.

 

Bob

Edited December 4, 2011 by 3bob

[Informer]

If we combine your sentiment with info from the drinking thread, it sounds like the life of an advanced cultivator is to hang out with ones friends in a bar, smoking cigars while their master buys round after round. Maybe more universities ought to consider qigong training clubs. LOL

 

Glad you re-discovered your heart, Informer.

 

You don't know half of it, lol. This was all before I turned over a new leaf so to speak. I think I said I occasionally drink, You might be thinking about someone else?

 

It was wierd how I found metta, I was just surfing teh web and someone one on a forums somewhere said "with metta" so I looked it up and that's how I discovered it!

 

I wish more universities were into teaching herbalism and natural remedies than the synthetic chemicals. I prob wouldn't be much for joining a club, I am pretty anti-social for the most part. Except on forums there isn't any intereference and I feel more at peace!

 

[Informer]

I was aware of all my chakras before I entered this state,at that time if I was in a good mood then I would feel them blooming at the front of my body,especially my heart which is my 2nd main chakra after my 3 eye well I believe it to be like this because the colours of my aura are green and indigo.

The chakra I always had problems with was my root.At that time before I started concentrating on my 3 eye only but had already opened it to a good degree I aslo concentrated on my heart over a period ove 2 days,what happened was that all the colours came much more vivid,the whole seemed entirely different but that shook me off I actually thought that it was from cocaine withdrawal.

Now I have that pretty often but it's not as strong as that time.

 

I think we are similar in many ways. I bet you have some unresolved issues from your past that could be causing distress. The thing about the third eye and heart in combination is honesty as well as forgiveness. I would ponder my mistakes in the past and ask myself forgiveness for the way I acted. I look back at a lot of things and think what was I thinking. I learned to find those obstacles and feel bad about doing it then forgive myself and promise to not do it again. Repentance helped.

 

Then I forgave all those who have done me wrong and actually felt love for them, and let go of any grudges I had. Let the past lie in the past, once the issue is resolved.

 

In silence ask yourself of things that you have done bad, then find the things people have done bad to you.

[Informer]

You could try to repeating something like "what issues do I have unresolved" as your going to sleep, if you don't have a god, then ask it to your subconcious mind. You may dream it and or resolve it in the dream.

 

Are you in your late teens or early twenties by any chance?

Edited December 4, 2011 by Informer

[Aaron]

 

I listened to an Audio CD recorded by Alexander Cain,a famous german hypnotist.There are 2 induction songs,in the first you are told to concentrate on a point and he suggests that your eyelids get more and more heavy,he counts from 5 to 0.In the second induction song he suggests that you relax your whole body from the feets upwards speaking a suggestion for every major body part,then he suggests that the body gets heavier and heavier and you fall deeper and deeper,he counts from 5 to 0,at 0 he says "you are sleeping now deep and profound"

The actual suggestions are on song 3,song 4 brings you back.

On song 3 you are first told to form a shield made from golden light around you then he tells that you can use a part of your spirit like an antenna and later he tells you let you spirit wanderat the end he also suggests you that at some point you will see auras.That's all I still remember but the main points.

In the description he states that the CDs are recorded with an extra subliminal method so I don't know what more is suggested.

 

Concerning the depression,my depression is mainly due to the fact that I am in this situation.It sucks not being able to talk with people like I normally would,I get nervous around people even those I had no problems before witth,sometimes even family.Then there is how I see the world,I don't know if you know the feeling un unreality you get when you smoke pot,that feeling like being detached from the world,I have that all the time high 2 which makes it even more difficult for me to try to concentrate on something without thinking about it.Half of my day is normally happiness and half is sadness.

 

@3bob I had rather have to work a lifetime on a karmic debt but being normal then the other way around.

I would also prefer living 10 years a satisfied life then living 30 years an unsatified life.

 

Hello Josama,

 

First the attempt at suicide tends to lead me to believe that your depression goes much more deeply than just your perceived loss of energy, I will explain why I say perceived later, you can make your own decision in that regard.

 

Second, I've been practicing hypnosis for the last two decades and have done more than a hundred past life regressions, I have also led group meditation/hypnosis focus groups for recovering addicts and alcoholics. I am well aware that hypnosis can help one with understanding the energy within them, but the use of hypnosis in the fashion that you have is something I would never recommend. Something like this should always be guided, the idea that someone would do this on an audio tape is incredibly irresponsible and I'm sure he's just waiting for a lawsuit to happen.

 

Third, nothing you've done is irreversible, in fact if you are still viewing your unconscious eye/third eye as being "out of whack" then it is something you are perceiving incorrectly. I will make my suggestions as follows and you can decide what you wish to do. Keep in mind this will be something that you will need to do for awhile, you can't simply do it once and expect it to fix everything, but I'm sure after the first session you will see improvements.

 

As you have already become familiar with the technique that requires you to tense up your muscles and then relax them, starting from your toes on up, I will have to ask that you not use it anymore, since the use of these muscles has already developed a memory that may hinder you in the future, If you wish to pursue self-hypnosis as a means of spiritual growth I can recommend another basic induction that should be just as useful for you.

 

Lastly, I would not presume to give you a self-hypnosis induction as a means of solving this problem because of the previous trauma you've suffered practicing it. What I can suggest is that you may want to begin visualization practices that involve focusing on your energy (not your eye, that will heal on its own) and drawing that energy back into you.

 

The easiest way to do this is to sit upright in a chair in a slightly darkened room, close your eyes and take several quick deep breaths and calm your mind as much as you can. After you have done this ten times, begin to breathe in slowly and breathe out slowly, paying attention to when your lungs are full and your breath catches. When you have calmed your mind to the point that you have minimum distraction begin to look past your eyelids until you can see your energy surrounding you. (Yes your energy is surrounding you, it hasn't left you, despite what you might be led to believe.) Breathe in your energy through your nose if you can, if you have sinus problems, then your mouth is fine, do this slowly, with evenly timed breathes, breathe it in until you feel your lungs catch, then let your breath out again slowly. When you breathe out, let all of your anxiety and sadness out with it. Continue doing this for twenty minutes, no longer, twice a day.

 

Keep in mind the primary goals here are to clear your mind of distraction so you can more easily see your energy, to focus so that you can see this energy, and to reclaim it and let out the negative energy within. Also your third eye will heal itself. When you wake up in the morning, before you take a drink, before you eat, Before you go to the bathroom, and before you fall asleep at night I want you to say, "my third eye will always heal of its own accord." So long as you continue to believe it is somehow irreparable, then you will find it that much more difficult for it to heal on its own. If you can, say this all in your native language.

 

Also, stop listening to those tapes and throw them out. Don't attempt to learn energy transmission through correspondence or self-help, seek out a trained master that can help you with this.

 

If you have any questions please feel free to ask, but I am positive if you are diligent that you will have reclaimed your lost energy and healed your third eye within the week, two at the most. It's happened to others before, so you're not the first, and you wont be the last. Don't look at it as the end of the world, you are just confused because you've experienced something and haven't had anyone there to explain what's actually going on.

 

Don't stop going to any psychological counseling you're going to and if you've been prescribed medication don't stop that without consulting with your physician before hand. This ins't meant to take the place of counseling or medical treatment.

 

I wish you well,

 

Aaron

 

Edit- I've also noticed people recommending you try to open your heart chakra, don't. You need to stay focused on the task at hand, nothing else right now. When you have begun to feel emotionally stable then you can pursue those practices, for right now, please just do as I have recommended above.

Edited December 4, 2011 by Twinner

[Informer]

 

Third, nothing you've done is irreversible, in fact if you are still viewing your unconscious eye/third eye as being "out of whack" then it is something you are perceiving incorrectly. I will make my suggestions as follows and you can decide what you wish you do. Keep in mind this will be something that you will need to do for awhile, you can't simply do it once and expect it to fix every thing, but I'm sure after the first session you will see improvements.

 

 

+1.

 

Edit- I've also noticed people recommending you try to open your heart chakra, don't. You need to stay focused on the task at hand, nothing else right now. When you have begun to feel emotionally stable then you can pursue those practices, for right now, please just do as I have recommended above.

 

He said it's already open. I think you may be right though, considering that he is suffering and hasn't used the heart to heal the ailments.

[Aaron]

I mixed your words here and Taomeow's story about a master getting her friend drunk as a challenge to cultivate.

 

Near my workplace is a great Buddhist center. In the past year, I took my first metta workshop. So cool to be in a room full of 45 other folks all welcoming love to each other.

 

Aaron, I agree that the focus ought not be on opening the heart chakra. But stimulating a gentle, pleasant warmth in the breast could be good? Simple metta slogans, when repeated, could work nicely. Though I wouldn't focus my mind on the physical heart, as not to overstimulate it.

 

If Josama wants to practice metta slogans, that's fine, but I would ask that he refrain from any type of energy practice, other than the one I've recommended until his emotional well being is once again sound.

 

Aaron

[Informer]

Near my workplace is a great Buddhist center. In the past year, I took my first metta workshop. So cool to be in a room full of 45 other folks all welcoming love to each other.

 

It reminds me of a family reunion but nicer, lol. Metta is wonderful, I hope more find it!

[Birch]

Ok, Santi (and Susan was/is one of his co-hearts) Btw, Santi very certainly talked about the "other side" and his experiences of such far more and in greater detail than I ever have! It's true that I don't remember him trying to impose or force such views on others even if it was/is a major part of his activities which are also related to his "techniques". Also I don't remember trying to impose or force any of my views on you in a fanatical type way but you seem to insist that I somehow am??

 

Kate, those wishes include you and or anyone else here if they are hoped for or accepted. Note: In my last post there was the prefix of "Op" which was directed at the original poster along the lines of peace, rest and recovery.

 

Bob

 

Ah, my bad. I took all of the reply for me because you'd quoted my post, replied to it and not indicated a reference to anyone else:-) Thanks for the clarification!

Interesting that you note that some techniques may be exemplary of worldview. I think you're right. I also found an excellent article on this very topic that I posted in my PPF. It's related to intended effects of different types of meditation.

 

I don't remember Santi mentioning anything in particular about a belief-system he held. I tend to think he had the grace to be respectful of his students' different belief systems but I didn't go further than KAP 1 so can't say. I think Susan comes from more of a Christian background. I don't know if she teaches with that bias.

[settler]

[Aaron]

[Mattimo]

It has now been nearly a year since I have been living in this hell.It all began when I started to take consciousness of the point in the midle of my forehead by listening to an hypnosis CD from a german hypnotist.At first I could only feel it as a little hole but it steadely got bigger until after about 2 months of concentrating on the point ALL the time it burst open and since then my life wasn't the same anymore.

Later on when upon reflecting on these days I found out that my energy body wanted to rebalance itself(after a night's sleep the point would have closed down again to some degree),by concentrating on the point all the time I basically held against that.

Altough I was able to close the point down again pretty easily my energy body was already at a point where it wouldn't rebalance itself naturally anymore.

So from there on I dabbled in meditative practises trying to find a solution to my problem.I did Bruce's Water Method and noticed that I could feel grounded but it wouldn't get me back to earth.

So,some months ago I made a threat on here already asking for advice,somebody told me I should go barefooted which I did even in the forest and it didn't help at all besides feeling a little refreshed.I just feels like my chakras are broken,they won't open again no matter what,sometimes I feel the point on my forehead reopening but the shape feels distorted.

All the time I have this endless fatigue if I have a good day I am able to do a full school day of 8 hours without falling asleep.I have been doing ZZ every morning for about 6 months now without which I think I would have no energy at all.Also since about a month now I am doing 30 min of Tummo everyday,some people said that they couldn't sleep at all when doing it too much but not so for me,I am still as tired as ever,although I notice an uprisise in energy 30-60 min right after doing the practice.

Also besides being tired all the time all my confidence has vanished,I have problems talking normally with people because I just get 2 anxious sometimes.

2 weeks ago I just couldn't take it anymore,so I tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of GBL which I ordered on the net together with alcohol.My mother howeever found me unconscious in my bed and called an ambulance.I was actually glad to be still alive since I wanted to continue living because I had finally found what I had searched for all my life.

But although I still have many things I wanna do I don't want to continue living like this.It's only been 2 weeks now and I am already thinking of suicide again.

All I wanna know is can somebody on here say with 100 % confidence that I can become normal again?

For today I was supposed to go see Dr Liu Dong in Paris to as him for advice but my brother which was supposed to drive with me there couldn't because didn't get a day off work cos one of his female coworkers just got to know that she has breast cancer on wednesday and so he needed to help.This was for me my last ray of hope if I won't be able to get another appointment then I made just crash...

 

Josama, brother, STOP. Relax - you are not alone. Even though it may be hard for you to fathom, there are other people who have/are venturing through hell. I understand and can relate to your desire, in your anxious state, to explain what is happening to you. However, this dissociative jargon about energy-bodies and chakras is absolutely and unequivocally meaningless - please, trust me. These esoteric concepts you refer to are profoundly misunderstood metaphors/descriptors that relate to YOU - that is/are YOU. Everything is not outside of yourself; perhaps, it is within yourself and you are becoming aware - and it is overwhelming. Whether you are prepared or desired it, you have embarked upon a path towards greater self-awareness and the so-called state of normalcy may not return to you. HOWEVER, Josama, to be normal is to be insane and the chaos you have recently experienced is a build-up and release of the insanity of the world that you find yourself in. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Josama, in my humble opinion, I would advise you to make every effort to minimize any current stress(es) in your life and BREATHE. Allow time to pass; allow yourself to relax. The reality is that you are strong and you have always been strong because deep down it may be the case that you feel heartbreak/heartache for the misery/trauma of the world and your family and/or friends? Josama, the only course of action, in my opinion, is to summon and cultivate the strength to carry on and to believe that whatever you are presently feeling will diminish and eventually fade away. The question is simple: do you choose/want to live or die? Based on your limited posts that I have read, I genuinely believe you have the strength of character to choose life - and that is the most profound and noble path one can pursue (in my opinion).

[Aetherous]

Other people have had great advice, some of which was: stop practicing, get a real energy work teacher, and also see a professional about preventing suicide.

 

I just wanted to say...

 

Zhan zhuang and tummo are powerful and dangerous when you've opened up the forehead area...it just perpetuates any issues that you have. This is because lower dantian meditations are "fire path" in that they create steam which rises from the dantian through the spine to energize the brain...and directly to the open forehead. Energizing the forehead area opens everything, like pandora's box.

 

Instead of cultivating sensation at the front of the head, you should feel the back of your head, with your intent. Close your eyes, so the energy that's normally forwards can go backwards to the back of your head. Block out the sensations at the front of your head from your consciousness, if you can, gently...if you can do this, awesome. Then feel as if you don't have a head, and as if your head is sitting on top of the spine at the middle dantian in your chest. Lose awareness of the real head. Pretend that the sensations which are taking place above in your real head are dropping down to your imaginary head, until you can't even pay attention to them anymore. It's just training your awareness to be selective in what it's aware of. Be gentle with it, without forcing your focus. Practice for 10 minutes at a time, no more than that. Afterward, place your palms on your belly below the navel, left on the inside right on the outside, for another 10 minutes.

 

I think this will help bring some balance. If it doesn't, then don't keep trying this...drop it completely and don't practice it...maybe it's not the right advice for you!

 

Craniosacral therapy may also really help.

 

Best of luck to you, Josama.

Edited December 5, 2011 by Scotty

[Josama]

@Mattimo :Thank you very much for your encouraging words,very nice

@Scotty : My forehead being open that isnt the case(anymore),now it's closed shut,not only my forehead but my whole head and my neck,when doing tummo the produced heat never goes further then my heart,well sometimes it does go up to the troat where it get's stuck always,but I sometimes feel a little heat at my crown.