Self Moderation

[Harmonious Emptiness]

[Dainin]

[Harmonious Emptiness]

 

Agreed, especially with the line "I love you for who you are, not the one you feel you need to be." Sly had a lot to say about that, lol, like an evangelical mission: We got soul, and we ain't afraid to use it!

[goldisheavy]

Despite my recent dispute with moderators... This forum has changed so much over the last year or so that I don't know that it can flourish without some serious moderation. My only contention is that moderation, while necessary ,needs to be equitable and consistent. If moderation is going to be strict, it needs to be strict for all. If lenient, then lenient for all. Make a choice and commit to it... But in the current forum we have, I think moderation can be helpful. I have only been here for 3 years, but this place has changed radically since I got here.

 

Well, I've been here longer than you, and in my opinion this forum is the same it has ever been. Nothing has changed here. And especially nothing has changed here radically.

 

If anything, this forum sees a lot less heated debate and a lot less controversy than in the old days.

 

There is a lot of brutal suppression on this forum, and yes, it's uneven. People get insanely huge timeouts for relatively mild behavior, or in some cases completely innocent.

 

One more thing. I always self-moderate. The problem is that my self-moderation is not what some people want it to be. It doesn't mean I don't self-moderate. It just means we disagree about the appropriate level of moderation.

 

Similarly I am willing to bet everyone here self-moderates. Even the loudest mouth here has deleted posts and has edited out things before hitting submit. The problem is that people just don't agree on what is appropriate.

 

Take Sean for example. Is he a good guy? Everyone here tends to think so. And yet he emailed me advertisement for some bullshit straight to my private email address. That's fucking rude, isn't it? I don't remember singing up for this kind of crap. It's one thing if Sean wanted to privately talk to me. He's always welcome to do so. I have plenty of time for Sean's thoughts, but I have no time at all for his advertisements, especially the ones he's just forwarding on someone else's behalf. And yet Sean is very polite. So where does this leave us? Good or bad? Not good. Not bad.

 

Look beyond the superficial. You can tell a lot about a person if you just ignore the swear words and the outward bullshit and look at the deeper meaning of the actions.

 

When I first got here although there were a few bad apples causing a ruckus

 

This assumes that ruckus is inherently bad. What if I tell you the bad apples are the ones avoiding the ruckus and perpetuating status quo?

 

and no lack of drama (including my own), many were sincere long time practitioners who focused on esoteric energy work. I see now that I got here relatively late just as the old guard was leaving and the new younger crowd was coming in. IME, the maturity level and knowledge level has decreased exponentially over the last year and am finding it increasingly more challenging to avoid bashing all the nonsense I read. I am sure there are members who do not fit into this newer category but I do not hear from them as much. They seem to have retreated into their own practice forums.

 

Some of the old timers whom I respected that were here when I got here have told me that they have packed up and left because of the current environment.

 

This means these people were never serious to begin with. If you participate only up to the level of your personal comfort, you're nothing. Imagine if you went to a meditation retreat and upon discovering there was no electric stove on the premises, you packed up and left. What would that say about your commitment to the meditation retreat?

 

Serious people always push themselves to go beyond their comfort zones at least to some extent.

 

Finally, I am more than willing to bet that most people who left did so because it was time for them to move on. This has nothing to do with the rambunctiousness of the forum. It had everything to do with the personal cycles of these folks. They got everything they wanted out of this forum and moved on. It's that simple.

 

A minority left this forum by being effectively exiled by the moderation team.

 

IMO, We now have alot of teens and young adults here who have little to no actual experience but no lack of pride in their book knowledge. I think alot of people come here hoping to find a short cut to enlightenment or spiritual power etc... So instead of it being a place where people who work hard to seek out real training and experience and then share that real-life experience with like-minded people, instead we have the internet generation who want to be directed to the latest book that will give them some magic pill to make them the next John Chang and then engage in intellectual semantics about what they have read but not actually achieved... At least I find this to be true with the general discussion forum. I suppose other sub forums are different...

 

But, if we are talking pet peaves, My biggest one is the passive aggressive type already mentioned by a few who wear the veneer of spirituality, love and peace but reak with suppressed anger and insecurity. . The whole idea that spirituality means that one cannot have any negative feelings has fostered a society that is highly unconsciously passive aggressive.

 

Well said.

 

I am aware that I myself am aggressive, but I do try to be conscious about it and keep my aggressiveness in context and on topic and hopefully constructive...

 

However, my biggest peave on the discussion forum is when someone wants to challenge me on some issue I have raised or discussed and it's clear that I have pushed some major button, but instead of just simply saying, "I disagree with you, 5ET and here's why..." They want to couch their opposition in the form of a passive aggressive "spiritual" question like, "Gosh 5ET, thanks so much for sharing your knowledge (like I actually want my rear kissed), but what about x, y and z? Spiritual guru so and so says different. What is your view?" And then, like an idiot, I begin spouting my views thinking that this individual actually was interested in my opinion when what was really going on was that the person wanted to lure me into an intellectual argument and lace the conversation with passive aggressive, veiled insults while pretending to actually care about my opinion... I say, If you're going to challenge someone, go ahead and do it and own it. Just be conscious and constructive about it... So, now I find myself asking people, "Are you asking me because you want to know my opinion or because you want to challenge me and lure me into an argument? If so, I'm not interested."

 

Or even worse is the Drive-by-insult, where someone will attack something I have said, try to hide the attack within their post and lace it with judgements in the third person but not have the courage to mention me by name. My favorite one is that apparently I am "patriarchal."

 

Anyway, just venting... It would be nice to find a way to attract the serious seekers here and not the forum junkies. Other than my own, this is the only forum I visit. I hope that this forum stays a place of value for me...

 

We are all much too touchy. We should try to be more tolerant. Maybe we should start a thread where we all insult each other so that we can work out our extreme over-sensitivity and hangups.

 

Part of the problem is that we assign so much meaning to image. An insult is perceived as damage to the image. We live and die by our image because we are so superficial. I include myself into that number although I think I am much more tolerant than most people here. I've been in many situations where I said "this is OK, let's keep things rolling" and others were saying, "no, no, let's stop the presses and yell for maximum moderator involvement right away."

 

There are so many adult pussies here behind the scenes. The youngsters arguing their hearts out are fine. But the 50 year old idiots sending PMs to the moderators are the real problem. They just can't tolerate the energy of youth and probably secretly resent not being young themselves anymore, not having that same energy, and not able to compete. Plus older people take themselves way too seriously compared to younger ones. (unless we're talking about 90 year olds who know they have only a year left to live, and then they no longer give a shit about image)

[Aetherous]

That post was pure gold...agree 100%.

[C T]

nothing to display

Edited August 18, 2011 by CowTao

[Marblehead]

We are all much too touchy. We should try to be more tolerant. Maybe we should start a thread where we all insult each other so that we can work out our extreme over-sensitivity and hangups.

 

One thing I have learned about insults is that if a person offers you one you can politely accept it, keep it to yourself and let it die a natural death it will produce no effect. Responding to an insult in any way keeps it alive.

 

But then I don't practice this all the time. Hehehe.

[Marblehead]

Just thought I would speak to the video.

 

I try to point out whenever I can that we all are special even though I don't ust the star concept. But we each are special in our own way.

[JustARandomPanda]

Good heavens. How does one give a thread a Star?!! I was not even aware this is possible to do so. Can someone explain to me how to do it?

[Aaron]

Just some points I was thinking about. First in order to be able to moderate one's self, doesn't one first need to be aware of what they need to moderate? If one does not see an action as being wrong, then will they find any need to moderate that action? Second, can we expect all people to moderate themselves adequately and if not, then what do we do? Third, self moderation requires a degree of discipline, most people don't have this degree of discipline.

 

Aaron

Edited August 18, 2011 by Twinner

[Aaron]

Good heavens. How does one give a thread a Star?!! I was not even aware this is possible to do so. Can someone explain to me how to do it?

 

I believe he got sufficient +'s to warrant a gold star.

 

Aaron

Edited August 18, 2011 by Twinner

[realfastcat]

My first post(other than my hello).

Alot of great insight already shared on this topic. I am unaware of the history of this forum/site.

Just a couple of points I wanted to add. If it is our intent we could surely push anyone over the edge.

Why would we want to? For each of us there are certain actions that can cause spontaneous emotions

(knee jerk).

I enter into this forum by good faith. I understand we are all vulnerable. Some have thicker skins

than others. Put trust in your fellow bums, moderators, the owners, and yourself.

Especially on the www there is social and cultural diversity. There will be personality conflicts

and differences in opinions and experience. A disagreement or debate should never be looked at as a personal attack.

I have noticed that there has been open calls by members to have other members ousted. I find this

behaivor disapointing and I hope it was an isolated incident. Lynch mob menatality comes to mind.

We are here to share and exchange ideas freely for the benefit of all, correct?

 

I feel fortunate to have found this site and I look forward to a great experience and learning here.

Self Moderation should not be that hard of a thing.

[steve]

My first post(other than my hello).

Alot of great insight already shared on this topic. I am unaware of the history of this forum/site.

Just a couple of points I wanted to add. If it is our intent we could surely push anyone over the edge.

Why would we want to? For each of us there are certain actions that can cause spontaneous emotions

(knee jerk).

I enter into this forum by good faith. I understand we are all vulnerable. Some have thicker skins

than others. Put trust in your fellow bums, moderators, the owners, and yourself.

Especially on the www there is social and cultural diversity. There will be personality conflicts

and differences in opinions and experience. A disagreement or debate should never be looked at as a personal attack.

I have noticed that there has been open calls by members to have other members ousted. I find this

behaivor disapointing and I hope it was an isolated incident. Lynch mob menatality comes to mind.

We are here to share and exchange ideas freely for the benefit of all, correct?

 

I feel fortunate to have found this site and I look forward to a great experience and learning here.

Self Moderation should not be that hard of a thing.

Hi realfastcat,

I'd like to welcome you and say that this is one of my favorite first posts ever. It is a pleasure to have someone join us with the type of attitude you bring. Many of our members could learn a valuable lesson from your words.