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What made YOU laugh today/tonight ?

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12 hours ago, Apech said:

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I saw a guy do that with a bong once .   he got offered  one and didnt  know how to do it  .

 

The guy lighting it for him was instructing him  to do it properly  and hassling him to 'pull it '   in one breath  .... guy coughed ,   hot bowl full of burning mull hits the lighter in the  forehead  and explodes followed by gush of bong water in his   face .

 

:D

 

 

 

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Conversely, if you actually want the job   ( well, I hear some people actually DO   ....   but , whatever )    they are bound to also ask you .

 

And  what are your weaknesses  or things you have difficulty with .

 

Answer  ;   " Chocolate ' .

 

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And if you dont want the job ;

 

Q.  Do you have a problem drinking  alcohol ?

 

Nope, I can drink about 8 pints before I vomit and pass out  !

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-- So, defendant, you have been selling this "Elixir of Eternal Youth," a concoction made with ingredients that haven't been FDA approved to diagnose, treat, manage, or cure any disease, are not described in any peer-reviewed scientific publications, and have never been tested in any double-blind placebo controlled studies.  The charges against you are quackery, fraud, and practicing medicine without a license.  Have you ever been convicted of these crimes in the past? 

-- Yes, your honor.  In 1432, 1598, 1604, 1820 and 1913.    

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@Apech I just put some in my borscht.  Wouldn't dream of doing that if it wasn't from my teacher's garden, where everything has tons of qi.  I figured, kale is is related to cabbage (a regular borscht ingredient) and is known in the old country as "leaf cabbage" -- though people don't eat it (or at least used to not eat it, it may have changed due to wider exposure to the sins of the world) -- it's grown as feed for  ruminating animals.  I removed all the stems so hopefully there's not too much left to ruminate on.  Keeping my fingers crossed.  Hope I don't wind up pouring the whole pot down the toilet.    

 

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Kale ... quinoa    :(  

 

saw this a few months back at home ;

 

Horrible spoilt 'new age' kid in local supermarket, screaming for a treat

 

" Whaaaa !  Whaaaa   I want , I want  ! "

 

 Hippy Mother looks at chocolate bars ... no ... spots a carob quinoa bar,  grabs it, gives it to kid to shut him up.

 

Kid shuts up, rips open bar, bite it and chews  ....    

 

" WHAAAA ! ... WHAAAAA  !   "

 

 

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11 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Turtles also breathe through their anus.

 

 

That would explain their horrible breath.

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11 minutes ago, manitou said:

That would explain their horrible breath.

 

They remind me of a lot of today's populist leaders. 

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14 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Turtles also breathe through their anus.

 

That would be more interesting if they breathed through someone else's anus.

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5 hours ago, Apech said:

 

That would be more interesting if they breathed through someone else's anus.

 

Are you volunteering, good sir?

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19 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

Are you volunteering, good sir?

 

 

My days of sniffing turtles are long gone.

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