Eggsistentialist

What am I supposed to do with this energy??

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Hello,

 

20 yrs ago I had an accidental kundalini awakening. I had no idea what was happening, no foundations to prepare me, i was reallllly young and dumb, and it was the single most traumatic event in my entire life. So intense I wouldn't even wish it on the likes of Stalin or Moussolini. Even so, life went on, became what life is: the good with the bad. Ffd about 20 years to last summer through autumn, it came roaring back. Kundalini doesn't ever go away, but it does lay low if you want it to (you are still stuck dealing with the symptoms and events it generates, but it seems to be only as active as I can handle). This time I recognize it. I'm much older, not too scared of my own shadow anymore, able to handle the weirdness and intensity. However, I had still not made any "preparations" for this to happen again (I'm still so shocked that people actually WANT this to happen!?!!) so it has been confusing af to say the very least. 
 

More to the point, when the energy first began it was intense physical wavelike feelings of heat in my back up to my neck and at it's height I felt like I had one of those huge rotating spotlight beams that they use at concerts shooting out of the top of my head. Combine that with the sensations of oneness and being deeply connected and part of (very new to me) and this bizarre but superfast reorientation of thinking and knowing and experiencing, along with the challenges of needing to reorganize my life to facilitate what I now know/believe/understand--this is all very hard to describe, sorry!

 

One of the strange phenomenon was these impressions of dragons and tigers that I kept receiving, I guess intuitively? I had only ever superficially heard of taoism. Ie: they have monks and funny coins with holes in the middle. 
 

Also after this awakening, er... reawakening/rising event I have way different energy. I thiiink it's that I'm able to perceive my own qi? Chi? (Is there a difference?) I'm literally brand spanking new to meditation but when i focus on parts of my body for example, that is where the energy seems to go. I think it might be stuck in my throat, it began to feel choked and constricted and often the sensation is that energy moves across through my shoulders and down into my hands and if i touch my fingertips together my right hand feels like it's receiving! Feels like a low current! Or, I mean, I could just be crazy and this is all psychosomatic. Totally open to that possibility lol!

 

I also seem to be able with some consistency to send and receive and take energy if it's offered. And even be able to perceive things, for example if my friend is thinking of a color I can just sense it. Idk how else to explain that. I definitely can't just jump into someone's thoughts, so it seems like they have to be focused and intentional.

 

Im here to mostly lurk and maybe ask the occasional question. I'm still quite surprised by what happened to me and that I managed to keep my head and especially that i can send energy to someone's cold hands on the other side of the planet and warm them up!


If anyone can recommend a good jumping in point for getting my inside energetic stuff tuned up and in good shape, I would be grateful. 
 

Nice to meet you all,

 

E

 

:)

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Hi Eggsistentialist,

 

Welcome to the bums. You will likely find yourself in good company here. We excel at “weird,” and there are a number of members who’ve experienced various awakenings and have varying degrees of what I will call energetic sensitivities.

 

You are, of course, welcome to lurk if that is your preference. You are also welcome to use the search feature to find (and revive if you wish) old threads, or start new ones.

 

warm regards,

ilu 

 

P.S. You will find three topics pinned at the top in this sub forum regarding expectations and rules here, please make sure you are familiar with them.

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33 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said:

If anyone can recommend a good jumping in point for getting my inside energetic stuff tuned up and in good shape, I would be grateful.

 

Hi Eggsistentialist,

 

Thank you for a very good eggxistential sharing.


It is well grounded in existence/experience/...

 

43 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said:

Combine that with the sensations of oneness and being deeply connected and part of (very new to me) and this bizarre but superfast reorientation of thinking and knowing and experiencing, along with the challenges of needing to reorganize my life to facilitate what I now know/believe/understand--this is all very hard to describe, sorry!

 

No apology needed... from those who can understand/follow/appreciate/... your sharing.

 

48 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said:

I also seem to be able with some consistency to send and receive and take energy if it's offered. And even be able to perceive things, for example if my friend is thinking of a color I can just sense it. Idk how else to explain that. I definitely can't just jump into someone's thoughts, so it seems like they have to be focused and intentional.

 

No explanation needed... per where you are coming from.

 

"I definitely can't just jump into someone's thoughts, so it seems like they have to be focused and intentional" ~ YES.

 

Thanks again.

 

- Anand

 

 

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be careful.  I would recommend anti psychotics.  I had kundalini awaken and it took over, then I created personalities and the thoughts started to come, then... voices.  

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11 minutes ago, helpfuldemon said:

be careful.  I would recommend anti psychotics.  I had kundalini awaken and it took over, then I created personalities and the thoughts started to come, then... voices.  


This member actually seems pretty well grounded, and as they have two decades of dealing with the energetic aspects I personally wouldn’t recommend anti psychotics.

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13 minutes ago, RiverSnake said:

I do a bit of freelance healing work. PM if you'd like any assistance. 


Thank you for the offer but I'm not sure why I need to go straight to dm to have my simple question answered :D

 

Cheers!

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5 minutes ago, RiverSnake said:

I do a bit of freelance healing work. PM if you'd like any assistance. 

 

There is a fishing technique known as trolling. Simply put, one throws and rows.

Throwing a hook out and trolling, rowing a boat for example while trailing a line and hook while waiting for an unsuspecting fish to come into contact with the hook. If the hook is barbless and baited it is less despicable than the alternative.

 

Still not sportsperson like... 

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20 minutes ago, ilumairen said:


This member actually seems pretty well grounded, and as they have two decades of dealing with the energetic aspects I personally wouldn’t recommend anti psychotics.


Hehehh!! Meaning: I am still crazy! The drugs can't help me now! :lol:

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10 minutes ago, natural said:

 

There is a fishing technique known as trolling. Simply put, one throws and rows.

Throwing a hook out and trolling, rowing a boat for example while trailing a line and hook while waiting for an unsuspecting fish to come into contact with the hook. If the hook is barbless and baited it is less despicable than the alternative.

 

Still not sportsperson like... 

 

Luckily I am not a fish eh? I thought it was cute lol

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1 minute ago, Eggsistentialist said:

 

Luckily I am not a fish eh?

 

 

 

Count your blessings.

 

8xz5v.gif

 

 

 

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9 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said:


Thank you for the offer but I'm not sure why I need to go straight to dm to have my simple question answered :D

 

Cheers!

 

Smoothing out kundalini syndrome is hardly a simple matter. Wish you the best of luck. 

Edited by RiverSnake

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This is an image from neidan, a dragon and tiger both sending energy to the lower dantian (just below the navel) which is depicted as a cauldron. It’s about working with yin and yang energies on an energy level. Reading up a bit on dantians would give you an overview of the Chinese understanding of energy centres, and might be something for you to pursue following on from your intuitive impressions of dragons and tigers. 
 

image.jpeg.2244b9c9f162400c531031903ae5f0c8.jpeg


 

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1 hour ago, RiverSnake said:

 

Smoothing out kundalini syndrome is hardly a simple matter. Wish you the best in your difficulties. 


You are absolutely correct, and yet it is still easier than smoothing out passive aggressive speech! Thank you for positive salutation regarding what you very quickly assume are my difficulties. I can already see how helpful you are with your "healing work..." :D

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2 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said:


Thank you for the offer but I'm not sure why I need to go straight to dm to have my simple question answered :D

 

Cheers!


Because very recently (as in yesterday) a couple of us moderators here made comment regarding the member you quoted’s unsolicited energy reading of another new member of this site - coupled with his offers of assistance for payment regarding the issues he claimed to assess in the unsolicited energy reading.

 

He appears to believe that skirting the edge will prevent him from crashing through the thin ice he is now skating on (with me) regarding his suspect and questionable behavior.

 

@RiverSnake You can consider this an official warning, and a step up from my more conversational interaction with you regarding the previous new comer you offered your “assistance” to. 
 

I feel strongly enough about this issue that it comes down to either you cease this behavior of your own accord, or I will assist you in the ceasing of this behavior. Easy or hard is up to you, but it will stop.
 

Edited by ilumairen
Punctuation
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5 hours ago, Eggsistentialist said:

energetic stuff tuned up and in good shape, I would be grateful

Hi E, 

 

Welcome. Looks like you’ve had a intense ride so far. May I ask what you did that might have triggered said awakening?

 

And seems like you’ve adjusted to this new state of being and now are seeking to refine and integrate it into your life. What specifically are you seeking with this integration/refinement? 
 

Best,

 

dwai 

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19 hours ago, Bindi said:

This is an image from neidan, a dragon and tiger both sending energy to the lower dantian (just below the navel) which is depicted as a cauldron. It’s about working with yin and yang energies on an energy level. Reading up a bit on dantians would give you an overview of the Chinese understanding of energy centres, and might be something for you to pursue following on from your intuitive impressions of dragons and tigers. 
 

image.jpeg.2244b9c9f162400c531031903ae5f0c8.jpeg


 

Hi, I spent a bit of time looking into this. Thank you, this really is a helpful place to jump in. Interestingly I had impressions? Intuitions? (I don't even know how to describe them) of cinnabar as well. I had never heard of that stone either at the time. I have goosebumps.
 

 

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17 hours ago, ilumairen said:


Because very recently (as in yesterday) a couple of us moderators here made comment regarding the member you quoted’s unsolicited energy reading of another new member of this site - coupled with his offers of assistance for payment regarding the issues he claimed to assess in the unsolicited energy reading.

 

He appears to believe that skirting the edge will prevent him from crashing through the thin ice he is now skating on (with me) regarding his suspect and questionable behavior.

 

@RiverSnake You can consider this an official warning, and a step up from my more conversational interaction with you regarding the previous new comer you offered your “assistance” to. 
 

I feel strongly enough about this issue that it comes down to either you cease this behavior of your own accord, or I will assist you in the ceasing of this behavior. Easy or hard is up to you, but it will stop.
 

He sent me a private msg, which I wasn't going to open until i read this. Simply stating he didn't mean to seem like he was wishing me ill and had edited his post to reflect that, if that helps you to know. Personally I find his MO predatory in the sense that if I were having a crisis and lacked knowledge of how to care for myself, he then appeals to my fears and lack of understanding by offering me the hope of "healing," if I will reach out to him in a private setting. Naturally his reason for offering is that this is his "work" which implies potential payment. However, that seems fishy in an environment like this. Why isn't he advertising his work/business in the traditional way? Lacking the customary social norms of not offering to help someone before you even know the first thing about them, combined with the fact he mis-prescribed me as having "kundalini syndrome," as well as not answering my question, makes him seem unhelpful to say the least and also untrustworthy. I would say his real work has been accomplished here however, look at all the precious time we've lost just wrapping our minds around his behaviour. 

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26 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said:

 

Interestingly I had impressions? Intuitions?... I have goosebumps.

 

 

 

440px-PilioerectionAnimation.gif

piloerection.gif

 

 

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16 hours ago, dwai said:

Hi E, 

 

Welcome. Looks like you’ve had a intense ride so far. May I ask what you did that might have triggered said awakening?

 

And seems like you’ve adjusted to this new state of being and now are seeking to refine and integrate it into your life. What specifically are you seeking with this integration/refinement? 
 

Best,

 

dwai 

Hi dwai,

 

I was fasting, totally not for spiritual reasons though! Was just doing it in solidarity for a friend who lives in poverty and was literally beginning to starve during covid due to the backed up government system. My beloved doggo died during that time as well. Stress was likely a trigger. Because I was fasting I found I had no energy at first so i would sit cross legged in front of my mirror and dabble with meditation, not for overly long periods either. (I still don't know how to meditate properly). I became very contemplative, sticking to one word or idea and turning it around and around thinking about it from all sides. When my dog was in his last week I spent a lot of time with him on the grass, just observing all the different ways he knows his environment. How he's aware of the slight movements of the birds in the trees, how his first act of the day is not to piss but take a very calculating sniff of the morning air, then to piss. I spent hours a day that I don't normally have out in nature (I live in a coastal rainforest) and because of covid there were no tourists. I was alone on the beaches and forest trails. I'm not sure if just one or all of those things were triggers. In a real sense I'm not getting any younger either, I think it was just time to "wake up." At least to some degree. 
 

I'm not so much seeking anything right now. Well that's not true, now that this has happened, and i can see that certain symbols or images *mayyybe* have been pointing to a more eastern philosophy and way.  I'm really just investigating and trying to understand. To be perfectly honest just even remotely trying to grapple with even one specific area of eastern culture and thought feels really daunting to me. I'm already a lousy catholic! But the new questions I have about energy and the impossibility of how I can use it are burning, not gonna lie. It's also conflicting because, on the other hand it's like, well so what. What would I even use that sort of thing for? I've been experimenting with a friend at a distance, saying which hand am i sending energy to or which part of the (upper) body. I'm surprised how accurate I have been on my part! Still, it's all very fascinating however... idk what I would ever do with that? It has never been my desire to become some kind of healer or _____ fill in the blank. Also there is the question of does that sort of thing become dangerous? Googling hasn't been helpful. SO, sorry about the wall of text! I guess what I'm looking for, for now, is just a better understanding, and also to perhaps become a little more unified, receptive, also healthy overall, not just in my mind and body but since I clearly also have this extra energetic component I want to take care of that too. One of the things I want most is actually just to explore and learn about inner balance. I also had an experience with that during my "awakening" process that simply put, felt really mystical. Make of that what you will. I can sometimes reach a similar state with meditation (that i am surely doing incorrectly) but can't maintain it during stress or even with kids fighting loudly etc. 
 

Good Lord, did I make any sense? I'm not used to discussing this stuff!

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20 minutes ago, Eggsistentialist said:

One of the things I want most is actually just to explore and learn about inner balance.

Do you feel anything specifically that is out of balance? I’m asking these questions because it helps to figure out in one’s own mind/intellect what they’re looking for. 
 

If you want to develop yourself energetically, what do you find deficient or unclear in yourself that you’re trying to refine/develop?

 

Is it ‘capabilities’ (powers)? 

 

is it clarity and understanding as to what has been happening to you? 
 

Or is it an instinctive desire to fulfill something that seems missing, but are unable to articulate clearly? 

Edited by dwai

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20 minutes ago, dwai said:

Do you feel anything specifically that is out of balance? I’m asking these questions because it helps to figure out in one’s own mind/intellect what they’re looking for. 
 

If you want to develop yourself energetically, what do you find deficient or unclear in yourself that you’re trying to refine/develop?

 

Is it ‘capabilities’ (powers)? 

 

is it clarity and understanding as to what has been happening to you? 
 

Or is it an instinctive desire to fulfill something that seems missing, but are unable to articulate clearly? 


@Eggsistentialist, it may be worth noting at this point, that dwai, who is very good at asking questions, is also quite receptive and open to being asked questions as well.

 

@dwai, what if it isn’t a desire to fulfill “something missing,” but curiosity about how this whole balancing process plays out?

 

Back to eggsistentialist, may I call you “eggsy”?
 

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