-_sometimes

Constant tiredness and heavy feeling above the eyes, difficulty thinking, concentrating

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Feels like a dead weight on my eye sockets. Makes me feel like I'm sinking from/into the eyes. Whenever I try to read with effort, concentrate, memorise, use my brain, the weight becomes overwhelming - there is no pain, just like a heavy sinking feeling from above the eyes. Like I've taken a relaxant drug, and don't care about anything, just want to relax the eyes and attention.

 

I'm almost 100% certain I have some sort of misalignment of my shoulder and neck muscles, which is causing tension in the face, potentially restricting blood flow, reducing my functioning. I've been to several doctors, a neurologist, and they have reported nothing. I am unable to convince anyone to get me an MRI scan to see if this really is the problem. I just get prescribed heavier dosages of meds lol.

 

I'm not sure what to do at this point, and I would appreciate any input. I don't practice any internal arts, I don't meditate, aside from a sort of round the clock zen-like mindfulness, which isn't forced and happens by itself almost. I feel so brain dead all the time, so tired, so little motivation or energy, little desire to talk. I'm 20 I should be filled with energy and vitality, fulfilling my ambitions, but instead I feel like I'm wasting away..

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Go see Eric Isen then. He can do a good scan and see what regular doctors miss too.

 

www.ayurvedicintuitive.com

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4 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

I don't meditate, aside from a sort of round the clock zen-like mindfulness

 

Here is the problem. It's not even Zen meditation like you claim.

 

Meditation done in vipassana or insight style is potentially very draining to vitality. Stop it. It's meant for people who are properly trained and have methods to activate their bodily energy to support the practice.

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1 minute ago, virtue said:

 

Here is the problem. It's not even Zen meditation like you claim.

 

Meditation done in vipassana or insight style is potentially very draining to vitality. Stop it. It's meant for people who are properly trained and have methods to activate their bodily energy to support the practice.

How do you know if it is what I claim? Regardless It's not something that I do, it's sort of like not engaging with views. I don't take an 'approach', I simply stop mentally doing something when I recognise it is futile or foolish.

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3 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

How do you know if it is what I claim? Regardless It's not something that I do, it's sort of like not engaging with views. I don't take an 'approach', I simply stop mentally doing something when I recognise it is futile or foolish.

 

Well, mindfulness is an established word with application towards access concentration, so it's implying meditation. You did use the word Zen-like also, so it's hard to draw any other conclusion.

 

Not engaging with views? Not taking an "approach"? What do you mean by stopping mentally doing? What are futile or foolish matters, please can you give some examples?

 

I really am having a deepening sense that you are doing something wrong. First of all, it's alright to have thoughts, even silly ones. You are allowed to have views and opinions. If there is even a hint of suppressing any thoughts from arising, then you are inviting trouble in long term.

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30 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

Feels like a dead weight on my eye sockets. Makes me feel like I'm sinking from/into the eyes. Whenever I try to read with effort, concentrate, memorise, use my brain, the weight becomes overwhelming - there is no pain, just like a heavy sinking feeling from above the eyes. Like I've taken a relaxant drug, and don't care about anything, just want to relax the eyes and attention.

 

I'm almost 100% certain I have some sort of misalignment of my shoulder and neck muscles, which is causing tension in the face, potentially restricting blood flow, reducing my functioning. I've been to several doctors, a neurologist, and they have reported nothing. I am unable to convince anyone to get me an MRI scan to see if this really is the problem. I just get prescribed heavier dosages of meds lol.

 

I'm not sure what to do at this point, and I would appreciate any input. I don't practice any internal arts, I don't meditate, aside from a sort of round the clock zen-like mindfulness, which isn't forced and happens by itself almost. I feel so brain dead all the time, so tired, so little motivation or energy, little desire to talk. I'm 20 I should be filled with energy and vitality, fulfilling my ambitions, but instead I feel like I'm wasting away..


You have posted here before with physical complaints. Go get checked out by a health care professional to rule out any physical maladies. 

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1 minute ago, ralis said:


You have posted here before with physical complaints. Go get checked out by a health care professional to rule out any physical maladies. 

I have done this. As I mentioned, nothing was found, even after speaking with a neurologist

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5 minutes ago, virtue said:

 

Well, mindfulness is an established word with application towards access concentration, so it's implying meditation. You did use the word Zen-like also, so it's hard to draw any other conclusion.

 

Not engaging with views? Not taking an "approach"? What do you mean by stopping mentally doing? What are futile or foolish matters, please can you give some examples?

 

I really am having a deepening sense that you are doing something wrong. First of all, it's alright to have thoughts, even silly ones. You are allowed to have views and opinions. If there is even a hint of suppressing any thoughts from arising, then you are inviting trouble in long term.

By not taking an approach, I mean I don't practice. I am what I am at any particular moment, and I try not to add to that with attempting to create a story about why I feel a certain way. 

By avoiding views, I mean existence and self related views. I had an extremely bad psychedelic trip almost 2 years ago and it introduced a lot of terrifying views about myself and my place in the world. I would constantly believe whatever story my mind created. I found the best way to deal with it, was to allow these views to exist and face the fear, which eventually led to them not effecting me anymore. 

 

By zen, I mean not actively trying to do anything, because recognising that I don't know anything, any approach to my thoughts and experience, classifying and presuming, can not be undertaken with intellectual honesty. So essentially, when I find myself partaking in self oriented views about self, other, existence, life and death and so on, I stop. Hopefully without being averse to such thoughts, but instead through seeing that there is no basis for them to exist.

 

Of course I have opinions and views, I have preferences, I have things which I enjoy, things which frustrate me etc.. 

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Oh wow I feel that. You're draining the heatwaves of one of the 5 vedantic koshas. I'm not sure which, I think it is manomaya or vijnamaya kosha by the feel of it. I'm not radiating them out myself and would take a couple days to generate them nicely, and I don't know anyone online that I can share who radiates them but you can try these too: manomaya:  https://www.book.bfnn.org/books/0362.htm and vijnamaya : https://ufile.io/42al3jgk  they radiate sort of water form of the koshas which folds your awareness back on itself at those levels, basically taking your koshas range deeper in consciousness without building the raw substances. Get them on your phone, multiple phones and tablets if you have. Get an 'onscreen' and 'touch protection' so the screen doesn't change on your phone while you keep in your pocket. Just keep the images towards you for a long time. It should help and coagulate eventually after a long time. Both individuals don't have any egregores or other energies that they radiate towards surroundings. It should help a little, in the very least; tell me how it goes. I doubt doctors could help much in your situation, draining like that heavily. Maybe someone in your house is draining and they have emptied you? How long has it been going for?

Try to build chi, eat and sleep well and exercise as well. Try not to slouch as you mention, if you cause other health problems while being down because of this they won't fix themselves magickally when you finally fix this :/

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9 minutes ago, EmeraldHead said:

Oh wow I feel that. You're draining the heatwaves of one of the 5 vedantic koshas. I'm not sure which, I think it is manomaya or vijnamaya kosha by the feel of it. I'm not radiating them out myself and would take a couple days to generate them nicely, and I don't know anyone online that I can share who radiates them but you can try these too: manomaya:  https://www.book.bfnn.org/books/0362.htm and vijnamaya : https://ufile.io/42al3jgk  they radiate sort of water form of the koshas which folds your awareness back on itself at those levels, basically taking your koshas range deeper in consciousness without building the raw substances. Get them on your phone, multiple phones and tablets if you have. Get an 'onscreen' and 'touch protection' so the screen doesn't change on your phone while you keep in your pocket. Just keep the images towards you for a long time. It should help and coagulate eventually after a long time. Both individuals don't have any egregores or other energies that they radiate towards surroundings. It should help a little, in the very least; tell me how it goes. I doubt doctors could help much in your situation, draining like that heavily. Maybe someone in your house is draining and they have emptied you? How long has it been going for?

Try to build chi, eat and sleep well and exercise as well. Try not to slouch as you mention, if you cause other health problems while being down because of this they won't fix themselves magickally when you finally fix this :/

I'm not sure what you're suggesting. You are saying you did a remote body scan, and apparently I'm draining something? 

Quote

 

they radiate sort of water form of the koshas which folds your awareness back on itself at those levels, basically taking your koshas range deeper in consciousness

 

I don't understand what you mean by this?

 

Quote

Both individuals don't have any egregores or other energies that they radiate towards surroundings

I don't get this either. Which individuals?

 

Quote

How long has it been going for?

Almost 3 years now. Since my first trips on psychs. It was a lot worse a few months ago but seems to be improving over time, but well.. not fast enough as I have no clue as to the cause or what really is happening.

 

I appreciate your input x)

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2 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

Almost 3 years now. Since my first trips on psychs. It was a lot worse a few months ago but seems to be improving over time, but well.. not fast enough as I have no clue as to the cause or what really is happening.

I didn't scan or come close to you, that is intrusion and perverted. Don't worry about my terminology, I like to talk about what I know.

 

Just try those 2 links, the authors emit special energy broadbands effortlessly that won't give you a shaktipat of any kind but simply raise you up to their frequencies because they have transformed their fields. It will have an effect on your energy and health, although minor. Anyway it hits exactly at the frequency you're draining.

 

My advice is take it or leave, no need to feel pressured mate.

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5 minutes ago, EmeraldHead said:

I didn't scan or come close to you, that is intrusion and perverted. Don't worry about my terminology, I like to talk about what I know.

 

 

I can't read Chinese ;p

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1 minute ago, -_sometimes said:

I can't read Chinese ;p

haha me neither, I really wish someone translated it. It has critical info about that lineages techniques which I bet are unfound anywhere else on the net.

 

But the author, whoever wrote that website has that development. I've no idea what they practice. Same with that egyptian dude from the picture, can be weird, and has no proper idea what he has achieved unconsciously haha, he thinks he's reached unenlightened actually, that's what he told me in pm. He has no idea. But he's achieved that frequency uplift to a pretty strooong degree at the time of the screenshot.

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16 hours ago, virtue said:

Paging @freeform because this seems like an issue he might have a good insight about.

 

If I'm not confusing names, I believe a while ago I recommended for @-_sometimes to stop all internal practice and focus on physical exercise or some sort of volunteering involving a bit of manual labour (like working for a community garden for example).

 

Sounds like OP has stopped internal practice which is great...

 

14 hours ago, -_sometimes said:

It was a lot worse a few months ago but seems to be improving over time, but well.. not fast enough

 

Would be faster if you include the other - exercise/voluntary work.

 

How are your basics - sleeping, eating, drugs and alcohol, work, social circle etc?

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6 hours ago, freeform said:

 

If I'm not confusing names, I believe a while ago I recommended for @-_sometimes to stop all internal practice and focus on physical exercise or some sort of volunteering involving a bit of manual labour (like working for a community garden for example).

 

Sounds like OP has stopped internal practice which is great...

 

 

Would be faster if you include the other - exercise/voluntary work.

 

How are your basics - sleeping, eating, drugs and alcohol, work, social circle etc?

Yes that was me. I started exercising more but curious why you mention voluntary work? what if the issue is mainly physical, such as some sort of structural misalignment, which I am almost certain of; I can still relax and allow my upper body move of its own accord (which I avoid atm), in what I perceive is an attempt to correct this imbalance; one arm feels heavier than the other, involuntary twitching of the head when sitting in silence, jaw rotating when eating. All this seems to point to some physical as opposed to energetic ailment. How can physical activity resolve this?

 

Sleep isn't great because of insomnia, so I usually sleep late (~2am) as can fall asleep much easier. I eat very well ~70% of the time, have difficulty working because of aforementioned issues - aside from extremely mundane work which I find soul destroying. I don't drink much, smoke a little, nothing else. And socially speaking.. well.. I'm pretty poor at socialising, but I have a couple connections.

 

Thank you for your assistance, it is much appreciated!

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Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, Toni said:

what if you do some exercise?

If I do something physically tiring I feel even more wiped out. After I can just sit on a couch and space out to the point where my vision starts to get 'staticky' and is overlayed with purple swirling lol.

 

The pressure above the eyes also feels significantly more intense to the point where it causes some sort of muscle contractions followed by involuntary head movement, as I relax my face in attempt to relieve the pressure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edited by -_sometimes

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On 13/05/2020 at 7:27 PM, virtue said:

Meditation done in vipassana or insight style is potentially very draining to vitality. Stop it. It's meant for people who are properly trained and have methods to activate their bodily energy to support the practice.

 

Virtue,

 

What do you base this claim on?

 

M

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20 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

I started exercising more but curious why you mention voluntary work?

 

Great - regular exercise (as in daily) - it doesn't have to be so extreme that it wipes you out - gentle, but active - preferably outside.

 

Voluntary work gets your focus away from yourself and onto other people. It's very effective.

 

22 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

smoke a little

 

weed?

 

23 minutes ago, -_sometimes said:

Sleep isn't great because of insomnia, so I usually sleep late (~2am) as can fall asleep much easier.

 

Ok

 

This is a critical one to get right now.

 

Set yourself a wake-up time and stick to it - no matter how little you slept.

 

Ideally, you want to be asleep by 11 - but you can build up to it over time.

 

Make getting good quality, regular sleep you no.1 priority for now.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Mandrake said:

What do you base this claim on?

 

It's relatively easy to use mindfulness meditation to overexert oneself if wisdom is underdeveloped.

 

Brain consumes a lot of energy. If you use your head's analytical capacity to facilitate insight development through access concentration and if especially intensively as in many hours each day or in retreats, then you are certainly allotting a lot processing power.

 

It's quite common to see and hear yogis discuss about the lack of energy and also have severe mental issues that come up because of Vipassana practice. A lot of this could be helped with developing proper samadhi to support investigation with good energy, but this isn't the favored approach or known how to accomplish it by all teachers.

 

Gentle mindfulness when not overdone is fine usually, but even then it would really benefit from expert yogis or psychological counselors helping to set good insight routines how to investigate the three characteristics wisely. Otherwise, mindfulness may end up being a fruitless game of dodge ball with your own mind.

Edited by virtue
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3 hours ago, freeform said:

weed?

Tobacco

 

3 hours ago, freeform said:

Set yourself a wake-up time and stick to it - no matter how little you slept.

 

Ideally, you want to be asleep by 11 - but you can build up to it over time.

 

Make getting good quality, regular sleep you no.1 priority for now.

Why? What's wrong with sleeping late if it's easier to sleep?

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2 hours ago, virtue said:

Otherwise, mindfulness may end up being a fruitless game of dodge ball with your own mind.

Play it long enough, and you can win, slowly but surely, no? 

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6 hours ago, -_sometimes said:

 

Why? What's wrong with sleeping late if it's easier to sleep?

When you are out of sync with the light/dark cycle, you are more likely to have a poor sleep architecture, a bunch of your genes will not express in a timely fashion, your cortisol levels are more likely to be non-optimal, and you are more likely to get a chronic low-grade inflammation. 

Translate that into more likely to feel bad, less likely to feel good. 

 

Go up early, eat a good breakfast, be physically active and get as much sunlight as possible before 2 pm, and possibly add some slow rhythmic breathing exercises in the evening. That is a regimen to enable the brain to heal itself. 

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6 hours ago, -_sometimes said:

Play it long enough, and you can win, slowly but surely, no? 


nope.

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