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About -_sometimes

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  1. I'm curious as to why you specify this. Perhaps you have already explained why idk but well.. this would be a huge undertaking for me, as I'm rather lacking in the 'socialising' department. I just feel sort of empty of content / blank around people. Do you mean build connections, or just general interaction? Why? how would it help? I hope you don't mind the questions, I just personally need a reason to do something as opposed to just 'you should because it's good for you'
  2. What standing exercises do you recommend?
  3. Thanks for your help everyone. It seems there is much I can still do to help things along. Back to the drawing board it is!
  4. Play it long enough, and you can win, slowly but surely, no?
  5. Tobacco Why? What's wrong with sleeping late if it's easier to sleep?
  6. If I do something physically tiring I feel even more wiped out. After I can just sit on a couch and space out to the point where my vision starts to get 'staticky' and is overlayed with purple swirling lol. The pressure above the eyes also feels significantly more intense to the point where it causes some sort of muscle contractions followed by involuntary head movement, as I relax my face in attempt to relieve the pressure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  7. Yes that was me. I started exercising more but curious why you mention voluntary work? what if the issue is mainly physical, such as some sort of structural misalignment, which I am almost certain of; I can still relax and allow my upper body move of its own accord (which I avoid atm), in what I perceive is an attempt to correct this imbalance; one arm feels heavier than the other, involuntary twitching of the head when sitting in silence, jaw rotating when eating. All this seems to point to some physical as opposed to energetic ailment. How can physical activity resolve this? Sleep isn't great because of insomnia, so I usually sleep late (~2am) as can fall asleep much easier. I eat very well ~70% of the time, have difficulty working because of aforementioned issues - aside from extremely mundane work which I find soul destroying. I don't drink much, smoke a little, nothing else. And socially speaking.. well.. I'm pretty poor at socialising, but I have a couple connections. Thank you for your assistance, it is much appreciated!
  8. I'm not sure what you're suggesting. You are saying you did a remote body scan, and apparently I'm draining something? I don't understand what you mean by this? I don't get this either. Which individuals? Almost 3 years now. Since my first trips on psychs. It was a lot worse a few months ago but seems to be improving over time, but well.. not fast enough as I have no clue as to the cause or what really is happening. I appreciate your input x)
  9. By not taking an approach, I mean I don't practice. I am what I am at any particular moment, and I try not to add to that with attempting to create a story about why I feel a certain way. By avoiding views, I mean existence and self related views. I had an extremely bad psychedelic trip almost 2 years ago and it introduced a lot of terrifying views about myself and my place in the world. I would constantly believe whatever story my mind created. I found the best way to deal with it, was to allow these views to exist and face the fear, which eventually led to them not effecting me anymore. By zen, I mean not actively trying to do anything, because recognising that I don't know anything, any approach to my thoughts and experience, classifying and presuming, can not be undertaken with intellectual honesty. So essentially, when I find myself partaking in self oriented views about self, other, existence, life and death and so on, I stop. Hopefully without being averse to such thoughts, but instead through seeing that there is no basis for them to exist. Of course I have opinions and views, I have preferences, I have things which I enjoy, things which frustrate me etc..
  10. I have done this. As I mentioned, nothing was found, even after speaking with a neurologist
  11. How do you know if it is what I claim? Regardless It's not something that I do, it's sort of like not engaging with views. I don't take an 'approach', I simply stop mentally doing something when I recognise it is futile or foolish.
  12. Feels like a dead weight on my eye sockets. Makes me feel like I'm sinking from/into the eyes. Whenever I try to read with effort, concentrate, memorise, use my brain, the weight becomes overwhelming - there is no pain, just like a heavy sinking feeling from above the eyes. Like I've taken a relaxant drug, and don't care about anything, just want to relax the eyes and attention. I'm almost 100% certain I have some sort of misalignment of my shoulder and neck muscles, which is causing tension in the face, potentially restricting blood flow, reducing my functioning. I've been to several doctors, a neurologist, and they have reported nothing. I am unable to convince anyone to get me an MRI scan to see if this really is the problem. I just get prescribed heavier dosages of meds lol. I'm not sure what to do at this point, and I would appreciate any input. I don't practice any internal arts, I don't meditate, aside from a sort of round the clock zen-like mindfulness, which isn't forced and happens by itself almost. I feel so brain dead all the time, so tired, so little motivation or energy, little desire to talk. I'm 20 I should be filled with energy and vitality, fulfilling my ambitions, but instead I feel like I'm wasting away..
  13. I'm pretty sure that's the general human condition lol
  14. I have constantly dry and cracked lips no matter how much I drink, could that be related?