-_sometimes

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  1. Is it possible to go all the way to the 'ultimate' solely through brutally honest introspection? My practice is composed of abandoning knowledge and looking as honestly as possible into what I really 'know'. I don't really see what else I can do, since it seems to me the only thing I can 'do' is nothing at all, including not 'doing' non-doing. In my experience, all 'doing' in attempt to resolve the question of existence/experience/suffering is intellectual, based on the attempt to resolve mental confusion, which in itself is a non-problem. Why should I want to practice internal alchemy, except for a potentially longer life?
  2. Super interesting post I really enjoyed reading it!
  3. I practice a kind of zen meditation, so I just am what I am at the time. I've never been able to meditate well with eyes closed as I have to force them there, and that's even more difficult if I just lower the eyelids. I don't focus on 'seeing' per se, but sight is there, as my eyes are open. I'm really just curious as to what is going on in my brain as the color pulsates
  4. Do you happen to have sources for the research? I think they could make for an interesting read
  5. lol that would be epic holy crap.. are you telling me you experience this yourself????
  6. What is the reason for this phenomenon? When I let the mind rest of its own accord with eyes open, very quickly, I see this fuzzy purple swirling that goes from the periphery of my vision to the center, like a regular pulsation. Is there a scientific explanation for this? Is it perhaps a sign of change in brainwave signals? I should note this has been occurring ever since I was able to stop conceptually separating what I see in my field of vision - as in what I see is all uniform, I don't see a tree, I see that which is called a tree, if you understand.. The swirling color is almost like a screensaver as my brain goes into 'nothing mode'. I can slump into a chair, just let everything be, and in less than a minute, the color appears. Anyone know what's up?
  7. My experience feels more empty, there is more 'voidness' to it, the more I allow this to happen, but I have never really had any sudden flashes of insight. Progress for me existentially has been a slow, gradual process, letting go of trying and experience feeling more atmospheric and magical as time goes on, but since I haven't really studied the stages of insight I wouldn't really know
  8. Thank you for your post it was very helpful, validating if you will xD Could you expand on this a little more, if you don't mind?
  9. Hello friends, I hope you are all well For a long time, not long after leaving my lifelong religion, I have had existential fears and dread expressed through a subtle 'feeling' in my realm of awareness, that permeates my underlying experience. It is extremely uncomfortable and very suggestive in nature, the feeling creates narratives about my experience, frames them in certain ways, and they are always negative. Often it is just a general uncomfortable atmosphere where just being alive is an uneasy experience. Thanks to intensive mindfulness practice over the past few years I have recently been able to feel these sensation more closely, and well, very often the sensations disappear just by looking at them and refraining from indulging in the narrative or not attaching myself at all to their appearance. Once I notice the sensation for what it is, I get this cold rush up the sides and back of my head, sometimes quite intense and vibrating. To be honest, I'm just really curious as to what the relation is. Because it happens every time I get through any sort of weirdness that passes through this mind, whether it the aforementioned uncomfortable feeling, or some remnant of a recent bad psychedelic trip, or a narrative about my place in the world, if I just let it be, what was previously believed to be real is seen as an appearance and immediately the cold rush up the back of the neck and sides of the head. Any thoughts? Apologies if this is a decidedly pointless post, I'm just curious xD
  10. Books or guides on stretching?

    To double check, so I am certain It is okay to practice baduanjin and zhan zhuang, even if I seem to have problem with qi deviation, appears to cause pressure in head, etc. and it is safe without a teacher to correct such aspects like spinal alignment etc? A post I made a few days ago outlined the issue I am facing. several people suggested stopping all kinds of internal work, including zhan zhuang. When I tried zhan zhuang in the past, after 10-20 minutes I often felt light headed, weak and really tired.
  11. Books or guides on stretching?

    of course! I'm pretty unfit and sedentary myself, perhaps it will be good to follow your guide and see how far it gets me. As you mentioned, the external and internal complement one another, at least up to the level you consider 'basic fitness' xD 'only' implying doing so shouldn't pose a problem, even for someone who might have qi deviation of sorts?
  12. Books or guides on stretching?

    A magnificent guide thank you! There is not much detail on stretching, particularly when it comes to opening the hips to enable full lotus posture, but I can find that information myself Given that I wish to refrain from internal arts, which includes zhan zhuang, as it seems I have some level of qi deviation according to the advise given by forum members, I presume that is not too problematic? I can work through the physical whilst confidently ignoring the qigong?
  13. Books or guides on stretching?

    I'm 20, and the only sort of exercise I've ever done was calisthenics for about a year. I can't really afford classes or pay for courses, so I was hoping I could find a book of some sort. I'm fairly new to the forums, what is PPD?
  14. I was advised in a previous post that I needed to stop energy work and get grounded, and wait an extended period before I begin energy work of any kind. I've been looking into physical exercise that might prove helpful, and it seems my options are bodyweight and/or stretching. After browsing many posts here, I've come to the conclusion that stretching combined with internal work is best overall, because eventually energy work develops bodily strength and acts as a form of resistance training. Since I plan to get back into the internal arts, I might as well just stretch for now, and let the resistance training come later. Does anyone have any book recommendations that teach full body stretching carried out in a safe manner? It seems there is much discussion around the best kind of stretching, what causes damage and so on, but ultimately I wish to be in good health, have enough flexibility to sit in full lotus whilst at a desk, and prepare my body physically for when I take up the internal arts. Is this feasible?