BaguaKicksAss

Request for less disciplinary action against Apech

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Unluckily for me one of Mr. Bitler's far eastern servants sold me to his cousin and I ended up living in a fox hole in some god forsaken spot near the Yalu River in North Korea.

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Well, that is one place I have never been and never had the calling to go there or even look at its environment.

 

Well, consider this: It was better to have been sold than to be just given away. At least you had a value to at least two people.

 

Yeah, fox holes are not good places for cats to live. They get too wet.

 

And I'll bet it got freakin' cold there!

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Well, that is one place I have never been and never had the calling to go there or even look at its environment.

 

Well, consider this: It was better to have been sold than to be just given away. At least you had a value to at least two people.

 

Yeah, fox holes are not good places for cats to live. They get too wet.

 

And I'll bet it got freakin' cold there!

 

 

Sure it was cold. But I survived. Eating rats and dodging shells from the UNO forces up the hill. One day about a million Chinese soldiers came up the slope and that was that. I think they were looking for presents for their friends or something ... cos one of them grabbed me by the back legs and shouted "look what I got for Runch" ... I assume he had a buddy called Runch back home or something. He stuck me in his backpack till we got to some place called Onjong. All hell broke loose when we got there. Bullets flying, people shouting, MIGs overhead ... I've never seen anything like it.

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After that I was shipped in a crate to Argentina with my new owner a Mr. A. Bitler ... he seemed very familiar somehow.

 

wasn't that a submarine?

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Here Pussy

 

 

come on .......

 

 

 

Pussy pussy pusssy

 

 

 

 

 

come on ....... dont be shy

 

 

 

 

puss puss ....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fry-pan.jpg

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Here Pussy

 

 

come on .......

 

 

 

Pussy pussy pusssy

 

 

 

 

 

come on ....... dont be shy

 

 

 

 

puss puss ....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fry-pan.jpg

 

 

Hey lagartixa! You'll look nasty with no tail.

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Were you able to escape the backpack during the confusion at Onjong?

 

 

I'm glad you asked me that because as it happens the friend of Runch who had carried me along was hit by a stray round from an M1 carbine, fired no doubt by a member of the US Marine Corps. His backpack burst and I was sent scurrying into the muddy battlefield where I hid in a shell hole. When the fighting had died down I was rescued from the dirt by my new owner Mr. Kim. Mr. Kim kept me for many years in great splendour, saying that as he was the beloved leader of his people, then I was the beloved cat of the people. I remember the smiling faces of the peasants as we toured the countryside, they waved and smiled and cheered - or otherwise were shot in the head by Mr. Kim's uniformed friends. It was wonderful to be adored and it still gives me a warm feeling inside to think how Mr. Kim's social, economic and agrarian reforms transformed the lives of those simple yet grateful people, leading them from simple poverty to ignorance and starvation.

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how, when, why, then did you leave korea? and to where?

if i was still an active mod, your compelling real life adventures based on real experiences(and not from books, dvds,)would suade me towards

leniency and i now question why i ever asked the current mods to suspend you , just to staisfy some curiosity of mine

about my own sordid theories. i believe that you must be an immortal and/or immoral ghost cat.

please forgive my shortsightedness. i humble myself now, put another log on the fire ,

and wait for more wisdom of your own dispensing.

 

 

The tale of how I came to leave the People Republic of NK is long and complex but suffice to say that it involved major international political pressure from Korea's big neighbour China. Some joker from Beijing bought me and put a sign round my neck which said "Chairman Miaow" … needless to say the secret police had a long talk with him, so long in fact that I didn't see him again, just heard him screaming from behind a wall. Not a Great Wall just an ordinary wall. And right then the big boss walked in. He looked at me and said "What's this cat doing here?" … then when he was told he just pursed his lips, shook his head and said "You know its just not right, not right at all… what we need in this country is a new revolution … this time a cultural revolution. I'm going to write a little book on that very subject … oh and get rid of that moggy before it wees on the carpet."

 

So they threw me out and I wandered lost for days along the high roads and low roads of China.

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Did you notice that Apech didn't even cast a shadow in that old photo? Gotta' be something immortal about that.

 

^^^ I think you misspelled the word "vampiric..."

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Well .... dont stop now ! I gotta know what happens next :wacko:

 

..... Cats are like that, once they get my attention I just sit there staring ..... waiting , like a stunned land mullet .

 

 

 

2Egernia_major-b2.jpg :

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^^^ I think you misspelled the word "vampiric..."

Only if someone wants it to be spelled differently.

 

The beauty of language is that one can create new words any time they wish. But it must be understood by at least one other person else it is worthless.

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I'm glad you asked me that because ...

I commend you on your creativity.

 

Zero asked my next question so I will go back and follow what happened while I slept.

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So they threw me out and I wandered lost for days along the high roads and low roads of China.

I had the suspicion that you were going to end up in China. I'm sure that is where you learned how to become an immoral immortal.

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I commend you on your creativity.

 

Zero asked my next question so I will go back and follow what happened while I slept.

 

Ah Marblehead you who know so much of soldiery ... perhaps you will understand what happened next .....

 

I don't know how many weeks I wandered those dusty roads clogged with old people fleeing the cities, pursued by gangs of youths waving their red books. Suddenly the world seemed full of wizened Taoist trying sell their magic juju balls. So many times I had to show my claws and scowl 'get out of my way granddad'. But one evening I came across a group of soldiers sat around a camp fire. They shared their canned meat with me and seemed quite friendly until one grabbed me saying "General Ho needs a mascot!"

 

If being a mascot means being bounced around in the back of truck driven at 100 mph on the un-made roads of South East Asia I want nothing of it, I thought. But the next day I heard talk that warmed my heart. We were off to somewhere called Dien Bien Phu to see the French. The French! At the sound of that name tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered that day when we danced at the Eagles Nest and mein Fuhrer had said, laughing, "this morning we dance and this evening we dine in Paris!". So packed in a little plane we had flown all the way. We gazed from the windows at all Europe spread before us, while Adolf bent over his newspaper muttering. "I cannot finish this crossword," he said, " all I need is the final solution!", "I think I can help you there," joked Herr Himmler. And we all roared with laughter. And Paris! So full of ladies with petticoats and no underwear.

 

But when we arrived at Dien Bien Phu it was a different story. The hills bristled with the fighting Viet Minh, armed to the teeth and eager for war. Below them were the French, totally surrounded. Surrounded and yet it seems, oblivious. In the centre of their camp was a long trestle table covered with a spotless white cloth. Around it sat the soldiers eating fresh bread and duck pate, and sipping a delightful Pinot Noir. At the head of the table the commander in chief stood upon a crate, a glass of claret in one hand and a gauloise in the other, reciting Baudelaire. There is nothing so sweet and musical, so sensuous or dramatic, so mellifluous as the French mother tongue, spoken aloud under an open sky … especially when it is punctuated by the rippling crack, bang and thud of 81 mm mortar shells landing all about. As the Viet Minh surged forward as if lured on by the smell of ripe camembert, I can tell you I wept.

 

It was not just that I was witnessing the slaughter of a majestic foe, it was that I was seeing the victory of modernity over art, efficiency over style and brute force over charm. Never again, I thought, would tousle haired existentialists dressed in white linen ferry their wives and mistresses through the misty back waters of the Mekong Delta while a nectarine sun set over distant smoke blue hills. It was the end of French Indo-China, the end of an imperial dream, which like an antique palace was slowly collapsing into the sea of history.

 

As the last battle cries rang out, I sloped quietly away into the undergrowth, I wanted none of it.

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Well .... dont stop now ! I gotta know what happens next :wacko:

 

..... Cats are like that, once they get my attention I just sit there staring ..... waiting , like a stunned land mullet .

But move your tail just once and you better start running at your best speed.

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As the last battle cries rang out, I sloped quietly away into the undergrowth, I wanted none of it.

I don't blame you for that.

 

And indeed, that was an excellent transition from North Korea to Viet Nam. And I can even foresee how you eventually became a Brit but I'm not going to skip any pages in this story as I want to hear it first-hand.

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Hey Apech,

 

How did you gain your military history knowledge? Formal study or self inspired?

 

(My studies were in the early 1980's and earlier and so much has been lost.)

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Hey Apech,

 

How did you gain your military history knowledge? Formal study or self inspired?

 

(My studies were in the early 1980's and earlier and so much has been lost.)

 

 

Well as a cat (obviously) I was there so no need to study. However my present owner likes to read some military history and also has watched endless documentaries on the BBC.

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Yeah, it is likely Apech left, however that might have been, before I got there. I spent the year of 1970 in that place. Cats were being eaten by then. Didn't really need them as all the rats had already been eaten.

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