The more conscious I live, the more I want to cry - why is this?

[4bsolute]

Dear Ones,

 

I have to get something off my mind. The more effort I put into living consciously every day, naturally the more I see how people around me treat themselves and treat their environment.

 

The most common "pattern" I see is, that when people dont get along with each other, an arguement arises and they can not find a (temporal) solution for their problem, then they act like "après moi, le déluge" or devil-may-care as you say it in English. Stuff gets shattered, no one cares to clean up the mess and leaves.

 

And the biggest issue then comes right after this, how people then continue their lifestyle. They eat sugar that mixes up with the chemicals in the body, deludes the whole situation what just happened... maybe they drink a beer, get calm... or smoke a cigarette, which is of an earthly nature and provides grounding. Or find distraction otherwise. Etc. And all these things lets one (temporarily) forget what one has just created.

 

All this, because our highest goal is not to find peace with our neighbors, brothers and sisters, no, find seemingly "peace" in ourselves by these means...

 

Now imagine you are in my place, or actually you have been there or you are there at the moment aswell and know what to do.

You are the one who has figured out that this planet could come to this stage because we are constantly getting "drunk" on external chemicals, making us completely forget and Unsensitive to our Very Actions!

Can you perceive what mess this is? That You, who was then also involved in such an arguement and You stay away from numbing your senses through this food, You have to put Effort In Feeling Good again. Coming from your Very being! And NOT from an external source!

 

Maybe I feel a little exhausted because I'm involved in great changes... but this really aggravates me. How the f*ck should one develop kindness in such a toxic place?

 

And here I admit that I really seem to be at such a young soul-level that I flew right back to my old habbits, twice this year. Eating sensual food again and playing video games until I am ready to get out of "my hole" again.

 

Am I getting rid of Karma consciously right now, or why is this so hard?

 

I truely was born in a loving environment but when everything was turning over to be mediatised in our world, so so many social changes came up and turnd so many things into negativity. Family, friends.

 

What is your advice how I should deal with this? I am not even willing to meditate at the moment, even tho something deeply wants to, but I cant.

 

It is a mess

Edited August 28, 2013 by 4bsolute

[Flolfolil]

newsflash - all of your emotions are just chemicals and it doesn't make any difference whether they come from drugs or your body because they are all just chemicals.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

^ignoring the spiritually detached "emotions are just chemicals" response^

not america?

That's "every day norm" here...

the only advice i can give you is some i cant even take myself: go live in the woods removed from civilization, live like a tribal nation, find a community that is off the grid and contribute to it.

Edited August 28, 2013 by Northern Avid Judo Ant

[4bsolute]

newsflash - all of your emotions are just chemicals and it doesn't make any difference whether they come from drugs or your body because they are all just chemicals.

 

Correct. And this justifies that I can create an arguement and dont want a solution, leave everything as it is - then binge myself on stimuli that have Nothing to do with the situation that I have just created myself? That lets me forget the very nature of my energetic and thus emotional creation?

 

Responsability my friend.

Edited August 28, 2013 by 4bsolute

[4bsolute]

^ignoring the spiritually detached "emotions are just chemicals" response^

 

not america?

 

That's "every day norm" here...

 

the only advice i can give you is some i cant even take myself: go live in the woods removed from civilization, live like a tribal nation, find a community that is off the grid and contribute to it.

 

No, ulimately I want world-wide changes. I dont want to be on the road like many before me and exlcude myself in such a way.

 

And maybe exactly this is the hard way. I have no idea yet.

Edited August 28, 2013 by 4bsolute

[Flolfolil]

Responsability my friend.

 

i am all for responsibility, but i try to have mine come from a sense of what i feel to be my own personal balance and not a "drugs are always bad m'kay" learned morality. Altered perception is useful or else people wouldn't find value in meditation, they would just live their lives.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

Well... welcome to the club there's a link in my signature...


I've spent the last 14+ years on the internet, trying to appeal to the masses... make changes in the perceptions of others, in hopes that we can return to "eden", return to being caretakers of our planet, and not just consumers of its resource...


But if i could find an off the grid community i would stop caring about you, and everyone else suffering... not that i dont care, but that i am tired of caring, fighting, bitching, and failing to make a change.

Edited August 28, 2013 by Northern Avid Judo Ant

[Tung]

Enlightenment is supposed to make one conscious of every thing, good or bad.

 

I don't think it enlightenment would make life easy, being so aware of all things is no easy thing.

[RiverSnake]

Detachment and developing internal equanimity is important.....otherwise you will suffer just as deeply as those you pity.

 

 

My 2 cents, Peace

Edited August 28, 2013 by OldChi

[silent thunder]

Wow can I empathize with you. I feel the resonance from years ago, in the 90's, the seven years I lived in Brooklyn, standing on the rooftops with tears streaming down my face, completely unable to understand why we would do this to ourselves, our Mother and each other.

 

One of the harsher facets of my awakening was realizing and feeling the immense pain in the world.

Sitting with it or not, it ran its course in a natural cycle. It led me to deeper calm. I put myself through hell.

It was empathy of all forms of pain, at its pinnacle. It passed.

It's a sure sign of healthy dividends being paid by prior work, in my experience.

Expanding awareness is not often pleasant at first, but like waves in a pond, things settle.

 

When I got through the wave, I was no longer bombarded with the evil/dark painful. The action of Tao is like a drawn bow, it always settles in balance... And the light side of life shone with a new brilliance, a new understanding and appreciation.

 

Right now you're at that apex of pain and it's tough as hell, but it's also a very powerful alchemical place. Rest assured you are refining yourself in this fire. It's not purposeless. You don't come through this trial naked and alone. You will be shining with added energy and understanding.

 

Keep on with your work, it's cumulative. But really be open to ways you may need to adapt your work to suit the present conditions. This is a big gift in the big picture. I wish I had been easier on myself at this time in this regard.

 

 

I recently heard this definition of pain from a wise old carpenter: Pain is a level of sensation, deemed to be unacceptable.

[SecretGrotto]

Most people live in ignorance of their energy and spiritual bodies, because following the path of least resistance and instant gratification is so easy.

 

My egotistical nature enjoys seeing people continually disregard good advice and destroying themselves, I know that is wrong and I'm trying to change that. My ego feels vindictive because it has always been disregarded and ignored when trying to give other people good advice, making it feel small and insignificant and craving human attention.

 

But I know on the other hand that I cannot bring my spirits and mood down when I see people living in ignorance, but that I should remain hopeful, practice diligently, and maybe one day become a pristine example. I am too weak to care for other people when I can barely continue my own practice, always seeking ways to escape.

 

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself" - Rumi

 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

im still waiting for that change i want to see in the world be more than just me...

[idiot_stimpy]

It is a mess

 

Use it as fuel for enlightenment

[joeblast]

I cry most every night, but that's because the zheng qi spirals upward and pushes them out and it doesnt let my sinuses hold on to much of anything, either

 

one may only do so much...what was it I heard in watching I AM last night...an elephant may only be eaten in one way...pieces! be that which you want to reflect upon the world, you cannot force the world to change, you can only correct your internal environment and lead by example, and let go of the attachment of changing the world, it will change on its own, at its own pace, and the little you may do can help push it in a positive direction, or a negative one.

[4bsolute]

i am all for responsibility, but i try to have mine come from a sense of what i feel to be my own personal balance and not a "drugs are always bad m'kay" learned morality. Altered perception is useful or else people wouldn't find value in meditation, they would just live their lives.

 

This is not a mentality I have picked up, this comes from self-experience with a non-judgemental fundament on using psychedelics myself. I know what "drugs" and drugs are.

 

I cry most every night, but that's because the zheng qi spirals upward and pushes them out and it doesnt let my sinuses hold on to much of anything, either

 

one may only do so much...what was it I heard in watching I AM last night...an elephant may only be eaten in one way...pieces! be that which you want to reflect upon the world, you cannot force the world to change, you can only correct your internal environment and lead by example, and let go of the attachment of changing the world, it will change on its own, at its own pace, and the little you may do can help push it in a positive direction, or a negative one.

 

About what was the first part regarding zheng qi spirals? I am curious

 

And to the last part, of course we most effectively change the world around us by changing our inner structure. I can say that I have understood this to 80% and not fully, everything else would be a lie since I came up with this post.

 

And I do need to learn, need to experience the difference between what is ment to be ignorant in terms of how I see, act and react with my surroundings and what is otherwise a healthy retreat. I have no one to teach me so I will teach this myself.

 

Basicly I know what I want to do and I do it. But I have already been called ignorant in the past and I could not give an example why this is not ignorant. Sounds funny but it really was that way. I was so immersed into the changes happening in me, that I realized how much attention other people constantly wanted from me. Even my own family. There are steps being made from experience to expression and I did not complete the full path so to speak... I mean how, I already said I barely meditate at the moment. But I will, when everything feels ready again. Regardless of some monks or teachers view on this as "Preparation for a certain event is always an excuse of th ego" (my words but you get the meaning of it)

 

Thank you

 

 

Use it as fuel for enlightenment

 

Thank you aswell, of course I will and I want that you do the same!

 

I have to learn to embrace such moments right when they happen and this is difficult due to the immersion-factor of the ego and "ohhh it hurts, it's so grey" etc

 

Most people live in ignorance of their energy and spiritual bodies, because following the path of least resistance and instant gratification is so easy.

 

My egotistical nature enjoys seeing people continually disregard good advice and destroying themselves, I know that is wrong and I'm trying to change that. My ego feels vindictive because it has always been disregarded and ignored when trying to give other people good advice, making it feel small and insignificant and craving human attention.

 

But I know on the other hand that I cannot bring my spirits and mood down when I see people living in ignorance, but that I should remain hopeful, practice diligently, and maybe one day become a pristine example. I am too weak to care for other people when I can barely continue my own practice, always seeking ways to escape.

 

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself" - Rumi

 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi

 

Apparently the road of least resistance is stated to be the ideal road to get so fast like nothing else right in contact with your spirit. Which makes just perfect sense to me, because resistance and negative thoughts which will ultimately appear with said resistance are considered to be THE major block for a spiritual union for body and soul. I am NOT saying living like a sloth and caring for nothing, binging and over-eating all day while watching TV and distracting my sense otherwise, no, doing what I want to do! Art in all forms.

 

This can be seen as the major flaw in Buddhism and I dont want to insult anyone - many teachings have always an underlying thread that is to get rid of the ego, which for every practioneer due to the very nature of the ego, builds up resistance that then must be broken down again. But when you just let everything float away in meditation and spiritually do what you want to do, everything what appears fun and joyful to you is filled with messages that lead you on the right track. I promise you this! Requires you just to be open. And I see this everywhere I go, contact with people, nature, internet...

 

Wow can I empathize with you. I feel the resonance from years ago, in the 90's, the seven years I lived in Brooklyn, standing on the rooftops with tears streaming down my face, completely unable to understand why we would do this to ourselves, our Mother and each other.

 

One of the harsher facets of my awakening was realizing and feeling the immense pain in the world.

Sitting with it or not, it ran its course in a natural cycle. It led me to deeper calm. I put myself through hell.

It was empathy of all forms of pain, at its pinnacle. It passed.

It's a sure sign of healthy dividends being paid by prior work, in my experience.

Expanding awareness is not often pleasant at first, but like waves in a pond, things settle.

 

When I got through the wave, I was no longer bombarded with the evil/dark painful. The action of Tao is like a drawn bow, it always settles in balance... And the light side of life shone with a new brilliance, a new understanding and appreciation.

 

Right now you're at that apex of pain and it's tough as hell, but it's also a very powerful alchemical place. Rest assured you are refining yourself in this fire. It's not purposeless. You don't come through this trial naked and alone. You will be shining with added energy and understanding.

 

Keep on with your work, it's cumulative. But really be open to ways you may need to adapt your work to suit the present conditions. This is a big gift in the big picture. I wish I had been easier on myself at this time in this regard.

 

 

I recently heard this definition of pain from a wise old carpenter: Pain is a level of sensation, deemed to be unacceptable.

 

Thank you so much for your wise words. I deeply appreciate it.

 

It really was dark and I again like a couple of times in the past (but was unfortunatelly connected to psychedelic experiences, for which I now understand why not be considered to be taken unexperienced in terms of not being at inner peace and having a supportive environment can be detrimental) I felt alone.

 

I have never ever felt this loneliness in my life before. I AM an only-child, we have the best conditions to deal with loneliness and even in the past I embraced being alone. But This kind of loneliness was truely the absence of love. Only slightly contemplating about it let run cold shivers down my body.

 

It really seems powerful forces are being here all around us. But why do I call this feeling negative, immediatelly something pops up in my mind? Putting labels on it and demonizing something I have no idea about it so wrong that I will better leave it as it is for a future investigation.

 

Speaking of responsibility... the deeper one diggs, the more responsibility one has to deal with. It seems one of many natural laws in The Universe how I fragmentarily feel it

 

 

Detachment and developing internal equanimity is important.....otherwise you will suffer just as deeply as those you pity.

 

 

My 2 cents, Peace

 

 

 

I have to extra-quote this due to it's importance. Yes!

 

And there are not even words needed to ask how one can cultivate internal equanimity and detachment. Which regardless Are important questions if one so desires, but believe it or not... (and I say this due to my own spiritual discoveries)

 

Energy work, cultivating energy by perfecting more and more the physical senses and the daily treatment of our body seems to fill oneself with such possitive austerity, a feeling of growing up while the bodily feeling still remains young and healthy... this filling up, this energy seems to be / truely contains so much knowledge that gets integrated into our being, somehow then translated into every cell so we can articulate it... so inconceivable at the moment while so beautiful and fascinating at the same time.

 

This TRUELY is my very first feeling of security I have ever felt in my life! Quite powerful even at this very, very low stage. And I will make another thread on this in the near future. I grew up materialistic while also living on the countryside with woods and wildlife. I understood materialism over time how it's a false sense of security - but then, now, this new (as I call it) "inner security" throu cultivation... Mindblowing!

 

And so fragile because I do not have a reason to get going and get so easily distracted with other things and I only scratch the surface...

 

WHY this environment here, really - so controversal to EVERY spiritual practice you can think of and I still live here like energetically glued to this place. GRRRR!

Edited September 4, 2013 by 4bsolute

[Thunder_Gooch]

 

"This world is a comedy to those that think, and a tragedy to those that feel"

-Horace Walpole

Edited September 4, 2013 by More_Pie_Guy

[Rara]

You cannot force a change based on what you want. What you can do is bless those around you that are seeking your wisdom.

 

Be awesome, and you will attract the troubled souls that need guidance.

 

That all you can do. That is all you are expected todo.

[joeblast]

About what was the first part regarding zheng qi spirals? I am curious!

 

An outflow from correct practice. Establish (proprioception whittled back to energetics) the lower center, establish the upper center (niwan, focus of, fixing the spirit at the seat of awareness) and harmonize the two; the 'taiji pole' of the centerline begins to establish. As harmony results from this and correct posture, the qi reinforces the structures of posture and begins to harmonize the actions of the pineal/pituitary dynamic...and in deeply settled meditation, this arising manifestation results from the spontaneous potential of the lower harmonizing itself with the upper. No intention does this process, although the components are brought about and assembled by intention. Blissful

 

It is analogous to the 'slow fire' in a way...