On the edge

[Lindelani Mnisi]

Constantly at school I get teased at made fun of, mostly by the same guys, I don't care or anything, but today one of them tried to hit me with a hockey stick!? Should I start standing up for myself or should I do what I always do and chill and ignore them?

[Thunder_Gooch]

Constantly at school I get teased at made fun of, mostly by the same guys, I don't care or anything, but today one of them tried to hit me with a hockey stick!? Should I start standing up for myself or should I do what I always do and chill and ignore them?

 

Si vis pacem, para bellum "If you wish for peace, prepare for war"

 

 

 

If you are getting picked on it's because you "appear" weak to them.

 

They target the weak.

 

The trick is to not appear weak.

 

 

There is no "have your cake and eat it too" situation here, you are going to have to put a lot of work into it, or continue getting picked on. Pick one and stick with it.

 

You can't just fight back as a weakling and expect anything to change either, because even if you fight back and you still appear weak they'll keep picking on you or someone else will.

 

 

 

1.

 

 

Fix your attitude, quit acting weak. Acting weak is like spray painting a target sign on your chest for bullies.

 

Listen to the art of war on mp3 over and over. I liked the audio version with Stefan Rudnicki.

 

Think before you say anything at school, twice. Speak and act intelligently and deliberately.

Lack of awareness of the reality around you, and poor actions and speech can lead to confrontations easily.

 

Be aware of your surroundings, and if you ARE weak run till you are strong enough to fight.

 

Don't be afraid, and don't act like pansy. This is what they want, this is what they enjoy and get out of teasing you.

 

 

 

2.

 

Start working to become strong.

 

 

 

Eat nourishing foods, colorful foods, bright foods. Don't eat useless carbs and junkfood and soda.

 

Eat things like eggs, and lean meats and nuts, dark leafy green vegetables, broccoli, Brussel sprouts, green tea, dark chocolate, blueberries.

 

Make sure you get plenty of sleep each night.

 

 

Lift weights every single day, but rotate muscle groups, do cardio every day.

 

Take classes in Judo, Jeet Kune do, Brazillian/Gracie Jujitsu, grappling and ground fighting etc.

 

Real Fighting arts, not useless traditions.

 

Learn to meditate correctly, and absorb yang chi in meditation.

 

P.S.

Don't misinterpret what I've said as telling you to take a weapon to defend yourself to school, that's just stupid and will get you in a ton of trouble and they will still be laughing at you even when your gone.

 

I am telling you to change your attitude about life, your diet, to exercise, to train for self defense, to not be afraid, to act deliberately and with intelligence, to be aware of your environment, to focus more on being present in your life.

 

I am also not telling you to fight when you become strong, what I am telling you is when you become strong, you won't have to.

Edited September 20, 2012 by More_Pie_Guy

[Aetherous]

If someone is trying to hit you with a hockey stick, you should really contact the police about it.

[mike 134]

Dont' take any crap. Start fighting back. You say there are several of them? Pick the smallest, confront him when he's alone,and kick his ass. If you can't even confront the smallest guy, you need to start going to the gym and working out.

[Fū Yue]

Be chill, but don't get waterlogged and lethargic. Maintain your sharpness at all times, don't just let them step on you, but don't be offensive either - be fully yourself, and don't let anybody cow you into surrendering your dignity. Like π guy says, you should be prepared to defend yourself. Cultivate a strong personality, presence and take good care of your body, and you will be fine... of course, if these boys are trying to hit you with hockey sticks, you should really tell someone about that.

[skydog]

I know there is the non violent idea of things but if anyone fucks with me usually they regret it and this anyone often includes groups of people or much bigger people. So basically people can sense it and never even try anything.

[skydog]

I know there is the non violent idea of things but if anyone fucks with me usually they regret it and this anyone often includes groups of people or much bigger people. So basically people can sense it and never even try anything.

[liminal_luke]

Hi Lindelani Mnisi,

 

So sorry to hear this is happening to you. The same thing happened to me a long time ago in school and it was very painful for me, not so much physically but emotionally. I hated to fight but eventually I did. Even got a reputation as a fighter. One time this kid started to pick on me and his friend stopped him by telling him that I would fight. I couldn't believe it! Here I was this scared kid who hated fighting so much I'd cry just thinking about it, and these kids were scared of the trouble they'd get in with me. Go figure.

 

I can't tell you whether or not to actually fight yourself, but I can tell you that you absolutely have the right not to be hurt and should do what you need to do to be safe. If that's fight back in self defense than that is certainly your right. If that's talk to the authorities about what's happening, be they people at school or police, then that might be a good plan too. The point is to take the steps you need to to make sure you are not hurt in any way. You are a person, and like all people, you deserve a life free of this kind of violence.

 

Whatever else you do, I'd also make sure to talk to the people in your life who will support you. Friends, family, a teacher, a counselor...whoever...Perhaps you are a stronger person than I was, but I know how difficult being picked on at school can be. Find the people who are on your side and don't hesitate to lean on them when you need to.

[GrandmasterP]

Your school has an anti-bullying policy and help is available. Ask that teacher you like and trust.

That will resolve the immediate issue.

Longer term cultivate the 8 Strands of Silk Brocade set that you have a link to.

Your confidence will grow as your Qi flows.

That new confidence will shine through and the bullies will leave you alone.

[Lindelani Mnisi]

Well the thing is, I don't have a mean bone in my body, and everybody knows that, but I guess it's time I stand up for myself. I just hate conflict but I guess sometimes the only way to put out a fire is with another fire. Oh and he tried to hit me with a hockey stick after we played a match, not cause he's psycho or anything

[eye_of_the_storm]

May the spirit of the Tiger be with you!

 

Trust your instincts...

 

...it is really impossible for us to say... not knowing your exact situation.

 

I wouldn't recommend police etc at this point (all depending on your own perception/understanding regarding the nature of these people)... sometimes these are defining moments in your life - you have to work it out for yourself + you may surprise yourself

 

remember to keep slow and steady breathing

 

Edited September 21, 2012 by White Wolf Running On Air

[skydog]

Actually this is a fairly sad topic I feel for you, when I was your age I also had similar issues not always just when going to a new school.

 

Being strong doesnt help that much neither does always being willing to fight. I was strong at that age and willing to fight but it didnt stop anything maybe made it worse.

 

The best thing is having extremely high self esteem/confidence..and this is one of the reasons Im even here on this website.

 

You may struggle to understand why kids are teasing/so mean I know I did its one of those power trips or ego gains/group dynamics..You may struggle to fit in a bit creative/sensitive/intelligent people often do but dont get all egoic about that.

 

Take a look at your beliefs, shame, meditation, qigong, spontaneous movements, stillness movement whatever. The confidence is whats important.

 

One thing that also helps is eft matrix reimprinting. I had an insane boost in self power, and self esteem from doing work on this for a few months. This will also severely impact you for the rest of your life.

 

Have a look at a book No more mr nice guy, and boundaries etc, sometimes in order to be kind and nice you need to know how to say no, but often by even caring or reacting in the first place you are creating the situation, but you cant fake these things, consider these things a wake up call to get stronger, and no this doesnt mean anything is wrong with you, everyone probably gets teased sometimes but yeh.

 

I wish you well.

Edited September 21, 2012 by sinansencer

[eye_of_the_storm]

have you tried being completely disinterested in all of their actions/ attempts?

 

this kind of attitude haha

 

[Lindelani Mnisi]

Yes, but it only works for one day. Now I'll try to do what sinancer recommends and be less kind and more assertive. Right now Im going to go google that matrix thing. Oh and the reason why they keep bullying me is cause I havent 1 mean bone in my body, I cant hold a grudge(ive tried only lasts 1 day) and Im always happy and smiling. They keep saying their trying to make me tough, but Im just too chilled for that

[RiverSnake]

Stop jacking off,,,,.you'll have so much testosterone flowing through your blood if some one crosses you again you'll feel like ripping out there guts and strangling them with it.

 

People pick on those whom are weaker than them and they know wont fight back.....the simply solution is to make yourself strong....there are many ways of doing that.

 

I reccomend a combination of Chi Gung, Pumping Iron and doing some Public Speaking.

 

 

-My 2 cents, Peace