Rara

I guess the confusing part for me is whether we can fill our bellies 24/7. To me, this sounds like when I have people over (an average, once a week) and we'll just sit down, talk, eat. have music on and just forget any worries and ramble...or "blow off some steam". But that doesn't take away some filled head and empty belly situations I have in my day-to-day life

Yeah, I've started to acknowledge this actually in recent practice. My meditations this week have been very useful in me, rather than saying "I have this problem, how can I make it go away", actually looking inward and realising "Wow, this is me" and all of a sudden it becomes very clear what needs to be done. Ugh, words suck, I can't think of a good way to describe it...I think you'd actually have to be me to understand fully hehe. So in other words, to your comment, I'm going to say "Yes" And yes, realising that it's holistic. Food, air, energy etc...ensuring that it's all stocked up. Empty the mind though because if we don't, we get caught up in chasing thoughts and coinciding with this, we fair to fill our bellies (ie meditate) Well that's my take so far...

We are very similar people The tough part is not being as hard on others...I mean, I possess this ability to manage (professionally) so therefore, I do! It's a big part of my business, and as tactful as I am, being "assertive" is often taken the wrong way by some. But I guess that's not really my problem. The issue with me being hard on myself means that others around me have to witness what they perceive as negative emotion, but for me, it's the way I get stuff done. On occasions, people will think I'm being funny with them, when really, I'm just in a more serious mood because I've taken a tongue lashing from myself. This of course is impossible to explain to others because they will just think I'm mad...because those are the ones that don't cultivate or understand my practice of self-mastery. Dissatisfaction - yes, to a degree. I have a list of achievements and as you will understand, all those are just words on paper. But I can utilise these to boast my way up the career ladder. This is non-Taoist practice, but then again, it is Taoist because when it all goes right, then I love every moment and it feels "right". So the hard work pays off, but I feel like crap using my past as a way in (I work in entertainment so I'm constantly having to ramble on about who I've worked with etc in order to get somewhere - think Joey Tribiani in Friends lol) I feel like a beggar and three years after university, that makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. Then again, this is just my perception and expectations... ...and like you say, good and bad is just perspective. But when it causes me stress (and headaches - I have one now!) I can't fool myself into thinking that's good. Yep, I will just be dust like everyone else. But there is a legacy that remains behind, and for some reason, this is still important to me. This is where my conflict comes from ... I am so aware of the illusions of this life yet I can't seem to bring myself to accept it because if I do, I will lose my dreams and probably just end up getting a quiet and easy job and strum my guitar for fun. And that is why gentlemen, my belly is only full sometimes! Haha. Funny, as much as I tried to keep this thread strictly about a text reference, it still spiraled into a personal chat. I guess that's the way it goes. @MH @Stosh Feel free to try and advise as you see, I'm still confused - not with the text, but applying it. Or anyone for that matter

I have been practicing mindfulness but I keep having relapses - however, I find these relapses quite liberating from time to time. When I was being mindful as much as I could, everything slowed down for me and all was well and good....but I found myself achieving less in life. I'm naturally a very productive person, and it started to kill me that I wasn't doing as much. I can't tell if this is an addiction (problem) to constantly using my time and attention on things, or whether it's ADD etc. But I seem to just have this compulsive need to be active until I can't physically or mentally do anything else in the day. I got tired of the mellow "me" and lost a lot of disciplines. Like this week for example - decided to take on too many things at once and then became more aggressive in order to tackle it all. But it feels like the "real me". As a result though, I ended up eating more because it felt like a reward. Huge dinner, lots of sweet food before bed etc. Still meditating and kung fu training too, but all that's doing is adding to my activity list, even though it is giving me a nice break from my work life. I too would like to hear more about what you think! Hehe, I'm starting to think this will work for me in my own way. But, I've also started being an ass to myself. If I want to achieve something, then my head is in the clouds daydreaming and my mind wanders too much that I don't meet my potential, that is MY fault. Therefore, yelling at myself can be the only way to fix this and get me focused. Football coach style!

Sometimes... I'm temperamental

Are you sure? I'm almost certain there would be a battle of some sort... I used to read into the conspiracies wanting to believe them. After watching "I AM Bruce Lee" recently, hearing Shannon talk about these made me realise how disrespectful it is to speculate such things. So yes, a tragic action related to medication is what I will agree on.

Kadampa you mean? But yes, we're on the same wavelength then. Is the teacher you speak of at a specific temple? If so, I'd like to know which one as my girlfriend may have done some volunteering for them actually. Sorry for hijacking the thread, will move to PMs if preferred.

So far I have interpreted Taoism's purpose as gaining enlightenment. Lao Tzu has many words to say on this topic and as my general understanding goes, this appears to be what monks are striving for. Then you look at the other side. We talk about having our own "Way". For me, at present, I would call that not being bound to anyone or anything and doing whatever I please. In a nutshell...that's me. Naturally, just doing my thing and not caring to conform to trends. That was very brief, but my question is this. Do you think we really DO have our own Way? Or is there a universal true Way, being the path to enlightenment? Right now, I would say I'm using the Tao of music and entertainment. And kung fu too But occupying my time with such paths distracts me from a path to enlightenment. I have had many moments in which I have touched the universe and the heavens...and it would be great to devote my life to this. I would love to. But I'm already so far on my current Way. Am I attached to this Way, or am I just "normal" by deciding to put my life's work, girlfriend and hobbies at the forefront? What do you think. Has anybody else had similar thoughts?

Absolutely There is an imbalance that I need to attend to. Thanks!

What I meant was that the entry level teaching in the temple local to me seems to use a one-size fits all approach. Geshe Kelsang Gyatso's book "Modern Buddhism" (this is the main teacher of this specific center) is full of things that "we must" meditate on in order to obtain enlightenment. Personally, it left me confused because I started believing that there were things wrong with me that weren't. But yes, you are right, it doesn't work for me but I can see how it can work for those in need of learning these things. Apologies if this looked like a generalisation of Buddhism - that wasn't what I meant. It was specific to the experience I had through a specific lineage here in the North of England.

I find that the more I love people and enjoy seeing them happy, then the more I love myself and everything around. When you realise oneness, you will be surprised how much love is present. And when love shows up, you won't have much choice but to be a part of it Good point here though. I would say I have some favouritism. My girlfriend is an example! Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I would say my "attached love" for my family is fading. Not in a horrible way, I still love and respect them for everything that they have given me - but in a Chuang Tzu style, I can't promise tears at funerals. I know that sounds a bit grim talking about such a thing prematurely, but so far as my understanding of things goes, and being the youngest (but most relied upon) in my family, a big part of my training has been getting over how I would handle such events. So perhaps you are right...maybe the love we have for a partner is not at all the same as universal/spiritual love. Perhaps it is false attachment and lust. Hmmmmmmmm, thinking time!

I get so exhausted sometimes, because I'm running a full-time life and reading, contemplating and meditating at any given point in between. I refuse to drive and I take public transport everywhere (and my work requires traveling everywhere!) just so I can practice on the journey, rather than occupying even more of my time with driving! I love what I do, and it's my way - built=in talents that I have worked on throughout my whole life. But there is now a voice in me saying "Fine, but it's not THE Way...there's an alternate path that will lead to enlightenment but all the traveling and working is use of energy elsewhere that is being exhausted - thus preventing enlightenment" There could be a big decision to make at some point, I feel.

I went to Mahayana Buddhist temples for a while ... after going through something quite major in life I just sorta ended up there. I ended up reading all about their way and began practicing it for a short while. I noticed that a lot of what they taught to people just "getting into Buddhism" was heavily based on compassion. They have a lot of emphasis on affirmations in meditation for compassion. So I began practicing these...and very soon, I noticed I had become confused. I didn't even know why I was doing it. So, I was speaking about this on another forum and a Tai Chi teacher came out and said "But aren't you already a compassionate person?" This hit the nail on the head. I didn't need much in a way of social conditioning - I'm already compassionate. From what I've learnt, meditation and contemplation will lead us there, like many have already said in this thread. Buddhism is just another way for those that require some guidance to help change their direction...

Oh sure! For myself, it's a case of putting this into context with the overall messages in the text. Yes, as we can mindlessly overfill which leads to imbalance. Thanks so far for the responses!

Wow.

Hello! I know what you mean hehe...I started with the Chinese stuff and now delving into the Egyptian/Hermetic...so perhaps the other way round. Welcome. I too must learn more about the chi side of things!

You cannot force a change based on what you want. What you can do is bless those around you that are seeking your wisdom. Be awesome, and you will attract the troubled souls that need guidance. That all you can do. That is all you are expected todo.

I think my Avi says it all hehe. Nothing more to say from me!

Someone told me to allow it to rise in meditation when it wants to and explore it. When we do, we realise that there is nothing there, and as if by magic, it goes. So I presume enough training in this will lead to elimination. I've started doing this and can vouch for it, in the short term at least.

It's not much but at least we haven't gone all Iraq/Afghanistan on their arses...so the decency has picked up slightly! Every little bit counts towards reform

Total arguing for the sake of justifying each and everyone's actions. I feel it's unnecessary because I thought we established the whole selfish vs non-selfish thing 2 pages ago lol This is simple: "Superior leaders get things done with very little motion. They impart instruction not through many words, but through a few deeds. They keep informed about everything but interfere hardly at all. They are catalysts, and though things would not get done as well if they were not there, when they succeed they take no credit. And, because they take no credit, credit never leaves them." - Lao Tzu However this can be applied to this particular situation is what it's all about. Over a forum, with text wars, all we can do is misinterpret - if we want to! Leader, monk or even new born child...all can achieve the same in their own contexts.

Looks like here in the UK, our PM is having a bit of difficulty getting his way. Finally, a slight improvement in our "democracy". Let's see where this goes....

Hello all, I posted a few months ago in regard to Zazen practice and slightly open eyes that somewhat cross. I thank all that participated as now I feel that I have benefited greatly from the experience I have recently been practicing a chi/soul finding exercise that I found on Youtube from the Wudang guys. I was happy to see that the Zazen practice prepared me well for this...now I am to use visualisation...something that I find difficult if my eyes are slightly open and I can see that I am still in my front room! But this isn't my problem...I know I will overcome this with practice. The real issue arose last week. I am prone to anxiety and almost bi-polar type behaviour but I have had this fairly under control in the last year or so. But recently, panic attacks have been regular, and I often find myself waking in the night. I have had some family issues in the past and they have resurfaced recently so I'm certain this has rocked the boat along with some added financial stress as of late. But last week I found myself in a very bad way. I spent a week with one of my old school friends. He stayed with me for a couple of days then I stayed at his for a few days in preparation for a big barbeque party. All started fine but as the days went by, I noticed that each chi meditation I did in the morning became more and more disrupted to the point where on Monday, the day I was set to travel home, I sat there freaking out for the whole 30 minutes! I was agitated, my lower back felt stiff, and there were negative voices everywhere. I felt too week to watch and control my breath and I just couldn't focus at all...I was just submitting to all the horrible words and scenarios that were in my head. Ok, so the week leading up to this did include a lot of weed, tobacco, energy drinks and alcohol. Sleep deprivation and some junk food (I tried my best to be good here! For the best part my diet was ok) ... so I guess I really do know the culprits (along with my family situation for me to nicely dwell on) BUT at the same time, what can I do? My old friend knows me too well...and I feel I would be alienating myself if I didn't keep up with the partying. A different (and wise) friend of mine told me that tobacco, alcohol and energy drinks would mess with my chi (not weed though, he likes the odd smoke) but I never really thought about it until this happened. All I know is that after last week, it has made me pissed at myself. I have been really moody since and I've upset my girlfriend only because I couldn't find a way to smile or be happy. I've literally been wallowing in some state depression for a week now and gradually I'm getting out but shit - I feel like I've destroyed myself just by hanging out with old school mates for a week and being "me". Sorry for the long post, I just need some advice on where I should go from here. I have a gut instinct, but I would like to see what y'all say first... Many thanks in advance for those that have read this and want to reply.

First of all, sorry to hear about your father. But your open mind towards marijuana certainly shows that you have given this a lot of thought, and you echo many things in my mind anyway. So no, you won't get any heat off me anyway. I'm about to agree with a lot of what you just said! As far as taking western doctors' advice, well, I take it with a pinch of salt. Weed and mind problems became a great topic in the UK tabloids a few years back...and soon enough it went away. Like most things...nothing is REALLY a problem. Just scare mongering. Why do I take it? Because when I began on with my entertainment career almost 10 years ago, I suddenly developed insomnia. No regular sleep patterns and a mind that was constantly wired. Even to this day, all I want to do is keep active...I had zero problem with motivation. The weed just reminds me that sleep is needed daily. Without it, I'd be crazy. I'd never sleep. I've tried meditation to help but it still just keeps me awake because I'm still concentrating on something. Still motivating my mind somewhat. SO I meditate still only to train my focus and apply practically to every day life. Also, the benefits of chi breathing - a great way to stay wholly calm yet energetic. You have also answered a question that I almost answered myself. YES the meditation makes us "schizophrenic" - because we are becoming aware of the mind - and what is that? Voices in the head! Anyone who denies this is in, er, well denial haha. Thank you for raising this! Worry not, I have no fear. I've already been through my phase of fighting my demons over a year ago and I now know all as far as dealing with this all goes. Strangely enough, I can cope with the spiritual world better than this one at times...but hey, not freaked out by ghosts anyway! Which exact Salvia are you referring to? It's a broad term... Your words about Karmic Law also interest me. I am debating in another thread (or was) this, and "cause and effect". Writers of our own story, as opposed to some higher force dictating. AND vice versa....but this is too much to go into for now. In relation to this thread topic though, that is just it. Simply do something if I want to, and don't if I don't! And find tactful ways to "not do" in order to maintain my friendships with close friends for the values that we still share in common. Thank you for your response @DeadDragon - you're valuable to this forum And thanks to everybody who has responded to this. All of your views have collectively helped me through he last few weeks. I hope to return the favour as and when!