blue eyed snake

trees

Surprised, but delighted to see something so common and available on the end of your link. Just in perusing the linked book: I think almost the same is to be found in the golden flower, (also from Cleary I think) I did indeed interpret as about the human body, roughly meaning at the start of you practice you become aware of "non being" "chi" ZongMai in the middle of your flesh body . late in the practice comes " when you sense being ( ie the fleshbody) within nonbeing ( the aura, or the subtle body) within what I call the bubble. ah yes, found it, not Cleary https://thesecretofthegoldenflower.com/ch3.html the lineage of my teacher has some Tibetan roots among others. A millet pearl dropped into my body, it was like " huh, what's this" adding to this, My teacher steered me away from any reading and a lot of things happened. When I asked questions he mostly told me "you just practice, it's going well. Later I started reading and found descriptions that rang a bell. https://thesecretofthegoldenflower.com/ch3.html

now were's my crown, I did put it somewhere, it must be here, am so forgetful.. well at last I have the age and the befuddled memory of a crone now

Welcome Abby

't was the hottest thing in those days. My, the times have changed indeed. That is the dress you bought to try a bit of crossdressing and then be finished with it? I think dresses could look real good on you but you need a bit of help what looks nice on you and how to wear .I know another transwoman, my age, who told me the first dress came out a bit meh... and then her young adult daughter took her to the shops and they went on a shopping spree and she learned womans clothing. at first sight i would say this needs some dangling jewellery around your wrists just some doodads to finish it. I remember when I started working as a child-psychologist i got help with what outfits i could use for that. I much like looking at welldressed woman, but me myself, no sir I was top of my year but always looked like a mechanic or someone cutting trees... and i needed to learn to look like a female professional, well, i ended up in pants but the total looked professional and i did feel more or less myself in it.

for me it was pivotal, during my early years women and girls wore dresses. to wear pants was a statement in those days, I remember one of my big sisters wearing hot pants with high boots in those days, that caused quite the uproar in the household. I found her beautiful, i think i was five so she was 15, dad was not amused, i did not understand, i liked what I saw.

I live in a woman's body and after decades of wearing pants I had a hard time to wear a skirt at first, but it was so hot I thought it would make me more comfortable. Now, in my old age it does not matter anymore, what clothing I wear, whether I enjoy looking at a young woman or a young man, what pronouns people use. it's of no interest anymore. Looking back I think i was lucky with parents who reared their brood as neutral as possible in those days. we all had to learn to cook, knit, basic sewing and also basic technical things, fix a puncture, change a tire on your bike. Being able to use a hammer and a screwdriver, helping dad painting the house. plus the leniency of my parents to let me wear boyswear, to let me run wild. Looking back I am happy I've tasted both genders without transitioning, just by living like the opposite, fond memories of my time as a mechanic. in a way I've tasted physical life in an extraordinary rich way, although i would have jumped to the chance of mastectomy and testosterone when I was younger, now I am grateful I had to find other ways to be okay with myself.

BES

can only give my personal experience, Kundalini came totally unexpected and it cut away ego in one fell swoop. for many weeks I walked around dazed. That one fell swoop had made me realize that those stories that I had always shrugged away as woowoo were true, that ego was made out of nothing, that the phrase "were all one" has substance. but I could not live like that and a new storyline, a new ego built up. again reactive et cetera Now with the underlying knowledge that it is just a story

found it, Matthew 19-12 in my motherlanguage it says something like: he who can understand it, let him understand. With an undertone of" this is not easy to understand/grasp, but some people will understand." I read it as: some guys are so devoted to the spiritual path that they will cut off their balls to e totally devoted to their path. ergo, they are not distracted anymore by arousal and lust and wet dreams https://biblehub.com/matthew/19-12.htm so, very different the transitioning but same lowering of testosteron and loss of libido due to that.

I remember guys always saying I did understand their point of view much better then other women and that they experienced that as helpful. I think the indigenous people of america said that 2 spirit people can be a bridge between the 2 sexes when those trouble each other.

In my case the body forced it on me by both hormonal changes, early menopause and thus deteriorating mucous membranes and an illness that lets my body react with allergy-like reaction to arousal. also allergic to estrogens btw... so I am a perfect celibate monk in my old age, not by choice though. thinking on it, but not being male more like wondering. When you change the hormonal balance by taking estrogens and thus reducing the influence of testosteron. I guess it just follow that you're less inclined to want sex. uhm...like of old you had eunuchs with their balls cut of, another way to drastically reduce testosteron and sexdrive. or am i amiss with that thought? I seem to remember there was some bible text about this too

mine were less frilly but even a nonfrilly dress is nasty climbing trees and such things as the skirt tends to catch on things. Plus I was a boy and boys wear pants, not dresses.

although some spiritually minded people would like to have their sexual lust taken away, somehow I think you are not one of them. Mine was taken by some disease of the body and I do not like that one bit, take care you keep yours, don't increase the risk by jokingly talking about it..

don't talk of the well you do not want to drink