liminal_luke

I dunno. It took a long time but I´m finally out of opinions.

Oh, if only that could be true, Salvijus. You´re a bit difficult to connect with but I haven´t entirely given up. We may get there yet. Not best buddies forever, perhaps, but companionable forum friends.

We can try to get to the "truth," whatever that is, but to me that´s only half of the journey, and not really the most important half. What strikes me as more important is the other people I meet along the way. I was struck by the before and after pictures Maddie posted, and, as a result, have a new appreciation for the emotional power of transitioning. From surrogate corpse, I learned that body parts need not to rigidly defined as male or female, even genitals. I´m still mulling that over but it´s certainly an eyeopening concept. Aside from what I may have learned about transgenderism, I value getting to know people better. In the end, it´s not just our book knowledge that counts, it´s the relationships we´ve built along the way.

@Salvijus The one who is more open to learning from others wins. Just sayin´.

Seems to me, @Salvijus, that you are under the impression that language -- and life -- should make sense. I foresee many online arguments in your future.

I, of all people, should probably not speak for the transgender community, so I won´t. Except to say that I believe the change in one´s relationship to identity is the main thing. After transition, a person outwardly embraces what they know on the inside to be true. This change in relationship to self is often, but not always, accompanied by changes in appearance. That is my understanding.

@Salvijus I´ll try one more time. This is why it´s not "transappearance" when a transgender person transitions.... First off, you do have a point about identity staying the same -- it´s possible to look at it that way. Although Maddie refers to the time before she transitions as "when I was a boy", some transwomen would posit that they´d always been women, before and after transition. So, in this sense, identity per se doesn´t always change. But what does change at the transition point is one´s relationship to identity. This is all important. Before transition one may be unaware of one´s true identity, in denial of one´s identity, or unwilling to face the social consequences of embodying one´s identity, among other possibilities. At the point of transition, the transgender person is in effect saying "I´m going to embrace what I know to be true about myself even if that truth is not embraced by the world. I´m going to put my own understanding first." This is a huge step. Before a transwoman first puts on lipstick or a ribbon in her hair, before any changes are made to appearance whatsoever, a change occurs in her relationship to her own identity. It´s this inner shift that marks a person as transgender, more than any outward changes in appearance that may come later.

That´s brilliant. You should definitely do it!

What do you call it when a transwoman buys a dress? Answer: a financial transaction ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, What do you call a transgender blogger? Answer: a transcribe .............................................................................................. Why is it always such a mystical experience when a transgender person goes to the post office? Answer: it´s an act of trans - SEND - ance. OK...I better stop....

What is a transappearance? Answer: Maddie sharing a selfie.

When I was in college, a fellow student gave me a revealing psychological test. He asked me to imagine a waterfall and then tell him what it looked like. I imagined a dry bed of stone where a waterfall used to be. Turns out the "waterfall" was a stand-in image for our sex life. Oops!

This discussion is like a math problem that doesn´t have an answer. Genius-level folks instantly see it´s a trap and put down their pencil. Unfortunately, I´m no genius.

When I dressed up as a woman for Halloween, I was putting on a costume. It was fun but not soul-shaking. I could just as easily have decided to dress up as a chocolate sundae or Bill Gates. My understanding (and people can correct me if I´m wrong) is that when a transgender person transitions their entire being comes into alignment. It´s a phase shift. Imagine you are trying to complete a puzzle and you keep trying to force a piece to fit where it doesn´t fit -- and then finally you get it and the piece slides easily into the slot it was always meant to go.

Male to female transappearance is when a person whose deep down sense of themselves is male appears as a woman. Male to female transgenderism is when a person whose deep down sense of themselves is female -- despite being born with male anatomy -- appears as a woman.

I´ll take a stab. I´m remembering the time I dressed up as a woman for Halloween. This, to my mind, would be transappearance. I appeared as a woman -- well, not really -- but the change was not a deep change of identity but only wig-deep. To change one´s gender is much more profound. Sure, the appearance changes but the change that matters is the one that happens on the inside.