Songtsan

If someone takes something back from you that they bought for you...

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Yes, it is stealing.  But then, as Soaring Crane asked:  "Why does it matter?"

 

You didn't have it before it was given to you and now you don't have it.  Nothing has changed.  Be well and take care.

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Hmmm ....    what about the attachment I have developed for it ... and the insincerity involved and ...  < bluster, harumph > ... the 'indignation' ! 

 

Yes. someone tried to pull this stunt on me recently   ( I read Marble heads comment , part of me agrees ... but that part didnt win )

 

This part did ! 

 

 

 

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Yeah, well, Although I might know what the right attitude should be in such a situation I have no idea how I would react if it happened to me.

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If it can be taken back without asking, and we¬īre just supposed to sit there and be all philosophical and zen (or tao?) about it, then it wasn¬īt much of a gift in the first place.¬† Anybody wants to give me something like that, don¬īt bother.

 

Liminal

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Yes, and I told him what sort of person I had come to the conclusion he was when he attempted to get it back -  and it wasnt even him that gave it to me - he was trying to get it back 'for the owner' - fat chance ! 

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Well, it made me mad, because it felt controlling and petty. However, I also share some of the opinions that it wasn't really a gift, and that I should it go. The legality of it is that yes, its theft, and could be approached in small claims. Just wanted a sample of others opinions...thanks guys..

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I only meant "what does it matter if it's called stealing or not?"

 

It's an experience and you learned something about yourself and the other person through it.

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Yeah, learning what kicks our emotions can be learned only by events such as this.  Yes, it hurts.  But we do have the capacity to heal.

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I will tell you what would kick my emotions - I get home and my bed is missing !

 

My  XGF about 4 years ago moved ( and boy did I do a lot of work connected to that! )  into a furnished smallish place. It had a bed and no where to put the one she had with a good silicon orthopaedic mattress so she gifted it to me as I have a bad back and hip.

 

We eventually split up, she gets a new BF who becomes husband and one day he rings me up and  "  I am going to come around and pick up the bed .... "

 

 

After a few incredulous and sarcastic comments like ' What bed ?  ... do you mean my bed I sleep in  ? ! ?  Am I supposed to sleep on the floor now ? " 

 

Then he goes "Well, she is pregnant now and she has a bad back and needs that mattress, you think about what you are doing and get back to me on it . "

 

:blink:

 

I did .... oh boy, did I get back to him on it  ! (probably my finest work of cynical critical sarcasm) ; 

 

 

fire-breathing-dragon.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

His original plan was to come and just take 'their' bed while I wasn't home ......  yeah,  that's a great idea, you come on around  and try that  when I am ' not '   home   :)

 

 

 

 

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We made up partway and I received some stuff back...I don't want to be petty either, and I realized my attachment to small objects is ridiculous...if I were to get back to my old self, I wouldn't blink an eye. I used to give away anything I didn't use at least once every month or so, now I try to sell everything on Amazon or EBay or Craigslist...I think as I grow older I grow more attached to money...should be less!

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I sleep on the floor...it's not so bad.

 

shaking%20fist.png   I will come around when you aren't home and take your floor.  

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I know a guy that actually hid in a tree dressed as a Ninja.  he was at a party and this drunk guy was being aggressive and starting to cause trouble, so he went home, got in his nija suit and his matt black boken (   :D  )  came back climbed over the back fence and up a tree and waited. Eventually things got to a head, violent guy grabs a limp of wood to threaten the people asking him to leave and Mr Ninja jumps out the tree, cracks him across the offending wrist , and in a few other  places, the guy is 'immobilised' and Ninja runs off across the yard (throwing in a somersault for good measure    :D  :D  :D  ) over the back fence and gone!

 

Everyone was " W T F was that ! ? " 

 

Then he comes back 15 minutes later without the 'disguise'  ;  "Whats going on here ?"   - classic !  

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The legality of it is that yes, its theft, and could be approached in small claims. Just wanted a sample of others opinions...thanks guys..

 

Not if the other person retains the bill for it. Or some other proof like a credit card statement. I think that ownership doesn't change unless stated in a contract. If it is in your house it is different as anything on your property is considered yours by law. However, not if the other person can prove ownership with one of the above. Though I can imagine if it is only a bill it would prove quite difficult to prove as the other person could just have stolen it.

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Gifts, without written contracts are considered verbally binding contracts in the courts.

Example: an engagement ring, after a broken engagement, despite having a receipt there is no obligation to return it, legally.

It was a gift.

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I'm actually ashamed to have even posted this thread, as material attachments should be left in the dust. However, it was more the principle of it that irked me...but it is all ego attachment based, blah blah blah...I would almost consider this thread a rant.

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Gifts, without written contracts are considered verbally binding contracts in the courts.

Example: an engagement ring, after a broken engagement, despite having a receipt there is no obligation to return it, legally.

It was a gift.

 

Yeah, but in that situation one could lie and say that it wasn't a gift and he stole it. That in turn would impose the need for either witnesses attesting before the court and/or some proof of ownership, no?

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Gifts, without written contracts are considered verbally binding contracts in the courts.

Example: an engagement ring, after a broken engagement, despite having a receipt there is no obligation to return it, legally.

It was a gift.

 

I thought legally, it was part of a pre marriage contract.  'Will you accept the ring and marry me?

 

Yes.  Then here is the ring or  

 

No. I wont take the ring.

 

If it is yes and take the ring then not fullfil the conditions,  and not marry the 'contractual token' should be returned,  Its part of the dowry. 

 

? 

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This could easily be the case as what I'm pulling on was from what came up talking about marriage with my friends back in college when I was writing about it and looking into it around the time my wife and I met...  That was a couple decades ago now :) 

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hate ?  stop with it ?     :unsure:

 

 

Okay I will be clear for you

 

yes,  everything has seemed to change since a few decades ago, one never knows what you might see next or what people will do next or find fashionable, possible or interesting, its nearly surreal like. 

 

Like  some 'jingle sayings' too perhaps ? 

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