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MooNiNite

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On the other hand, some jokes only do work because of the difficulties in translation :

Okay, I got that one. Hehehe.

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Rabbi and Priest are fishing

 

R: " So ... this priest business ... its good for you boys then ?"

 

P: "Oh yes, I live very comfortably . life is good."

 

R: "Room for advancement?"

 

P: "Advancement? Well .... I suppose, if I wanted to, one day I could become a Bishop."

 

R: " And then what?"

 

P: "Well, after that I suppose, I could be appointed a Cardinal."

 

R: "I see ... and then what?"

 

P: "Well, I suppose if I wanted to get political , it isnt impossible that, after all that, I could be elected and make it to Pope."

 

R: " Oh ... Pope! I see ... and then what?"

 

P: " What's with all this 'And then what', what do you expect me to do after being Pope ... there is no office higher than Pope .... what do you expect me to end up as .... Jesus Christ?"

 

R: " Well ... ... ... one of our boys made it."

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So this rabbit walks into a butcher's shop and says to the butcher, 'Got any carrots?'

 

The butcher says, 'No, we have only meat here. It's a butcher's shop.'

 

The rabbit comes in the next day and says, 'Got any carrots?'

 

The butcher says, 'No, we sell only meat in this butcher's shop.'

 

On the third day, the rabbit comes in and says, 'Got any carrots?'

 

The butcher politely says, 'We have only meat. Meat.'

 

The next day, the rabbit comes in and says, 'Got any carrots?'

 

'Listen,' the butcher says, 'we have only meat here. If you come in one more time and ask if we've got any carrots, I will nail your ears to the floor. You hear me?'

 

The next morning the rabbit comes back to the shop and sees the butcher. 'Got any nails?' he asks.

 

'No,' the butcher replies.

 

'Wicked,' says the rabbit. 'Got any carrots?'

Edited by GrandmasterP
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Phyllis sends a group text to her son and rest of the family and close friends, informing all of nana's sudden demise: Oh dear... i'm sorry to bring you all the bad news of nana's passing away just now. Thank the lord she left in peace, no pain or anything nasty like that. Will advice later of arrangements, LOL, Phyl.

 

A mildly shocked, worried son hurriedly rang his mother, "Mother, nana just passed away, why are you in such good humour?"

 

"I am totally devastated, son... what on earth are you talking about?"

 

"But you signed off your text LOL... you know, laugh out loud??"

 

"Jeez, omigosh, all along i had thought LOL meant 'Lots of love'... oh no... i better get on to everyone straight away. Oh, the embarrassment of it all!!"

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I find those to be not much better than British humor. Hehehe.

Oi! That's the 2nd time I've caught you.

 

Nah, granted, 90% of TV comedies I like are American.

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Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter ?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. "He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."

Edited by GrandmasterP
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Oi! That's the 2nd time I've caught you.

 

Nah, granted, 90% of TV comedies I like are American.

Here in the states PBS runs British comedy on Saturday and Sunday. What a bore!

 

The only British comedy I was ever able to 'get into' was Benny Hill. I haven't seen him in a long time.

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Here in the states PBS runs British comedy on Saturday and Sunday. What a bore!

 

The only British comedy I was ever able to 'get into' was Benny Hill. I haven't seen him in a long time.

He died.

Our TV comedy is dire for sure.

They seem to mistake profanity for comedy nowadays.

Back in Benny Hill's day we had shows that made you laugh.

The funniest shows on our TV are the very old repeats such as Dad's Army ( about the Home Guard in World War II).

Good clean fun you can sit down and watch with all the family and not have to worry about what's going to be said or shown.

The best were always the US imports.

Mr Ed.

Beverley Hillbillies.

My Favourite Martian.

Phil Silvers.

Car 54 where are you?

 

Classics those were.

Edited by GrandmasterP
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Bob Newhart.

When he had that Inn.

Man those two hillbilly neighbours of his ( they had the same first name) were funny.

Edited by GrandmasterP
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Sad to hear Benny died but we all gotta' do that one day.

 

I can't even remember why I stopped watching his show, whether PBS stopped presenting it or if something happened in my life that caused me to stop watching it.

 

I can't recall ever hearing of "Dad's Army".

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Bob Newhart.

When he had that Inn.

Man those two hillbilly neighbours of his ( they had the same first name) were funny.

Yes, Bob was one of my favorites.

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Dick Loudon and his wife Joanna decide to leave life in New York City and buy a little inn in Vermont. Dick is a how-to book writer, who eventually becomes a local TV celebrity as host of "Vermont Today." George Utley is the handyman at the inn and Leslie Vanderkellen is the maid, with ambitions of being an Olympic Ski champion; she is later replaced by her cousin Stephanie, an heiress who hates her job. Her boyfriend is Dick's yuppie TV producer, Michael Harris. There are many other quirky characters in this fictional little town, including Dick's neighbors Larry, Darryl, and Darryl...three brothers who buy the Minuteman Cafe from Kirk Devane. Besides sharing a name, Darryl and Darryl never speak (until the final episode).

 

Old Bob did not even need to speak to get me laughing.

Just that look he could give to people.

Edited by GrandmasterP
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Fawlty Towers yep.

Only fools and horses.. Yep.

Open all hours.. Now and again.

Last of the summer wine.. With Compo and Foggy yep.. Afterwards.. Awful.

Mr Bean nope.

Blackadder.. Some ( the Elizabethan).

Keeping up Appearances ..yep

One foot in the grave .. Some of them were good others dire.

 

Anything since?

Edited by GrandmasterP

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Fawlty Towers yep.

Only fools and horses.. Yep.

Open all hours.. Now and again.

Last of the summer wine.. With Compo and Foggy yep.. Afterwards.. Awful.

Mr Bean nope.

Blackadder.. Some ( the Elizabethan).

Keeping up Appearances ..yep

One foot in the grave .. Some of them were good others dire.

 

Anything since?

Agreed on the Blackadder!

 

I much prefered The Office to the US one.

 

Friends and South Park have always been my favs from US. Really in to US "awkward" humour right now...Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seth Rogen films etc.

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Simpsons I like.

Those others though ... Nah.

The Office was awful IMO. Ricky Gervais is about as funny as herpes.

Nina Conti and Monkey, she's a class act.

Did you catch 'Family Tree' with her and monkey in it and that tall Irish guy who was in the IT Crowd ( OK- ish) ?

Edited by GrandmasterP

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Nope...

 

And herpes can be funny...if told in an American-joke style hehe

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You guys have been talking about shows I have no knowledge of. Did y'all ever work or just watch TV?

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You guys have been talking about shows I have no knowledge of. Did y'all ever work or just watch TV?

I went to university...

 

So I guess the answer is no, never did work. Just watched TV.

 

I'm cured now. I'm in the real world.

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Fawlty Towers? Anyone? Mr Bean and Blackadder too...

 

Do you remember Blackadder's 'Black Russian' codpiece ? :D (esp @ 0.52 )

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Well, I watched the first episode of "24 Live Another Day" last night. I did enjoy that series (24) although there was little comedy in it.

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Oops ... I forgot to add the link in the above post to the Black russian

 

 

 

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Oops ... I forgot to add the link in the above post to the Black russian

Nope. I have never watched that nor even known of its existence.

 

(I will now forget it as if it never existed.)

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