Love and Relationships

[joeblast]

thx rv, I was too lazy to go dig it up

[Maddie]

Ok yes I have heard that before.

[Otis]

Ok yesterday I had the most unusual/sureal experience ever (at least in the dating/relationship realm). It started off with me sending a lot of chi in my MCO to my crown chakra to help me "transmit" a request to the Universe (some might call it prayer, but due to bad church experiences I don't refer to it as this). I sent the message that I wanted this particular girl who had kind of dissed me to be interested again. Then I got this distinct impression from the Universe that if I set my intention this way for this that it most certainly would work, BUT (there is always a but) it would alter my life path and that I would not acheive the highest spiritual potential that I would otherwise in this life.

Naturally at first I would have none of this, cause I like this girl and was going through all this trouble because I wanted her. Then a funny thing happened, she emailed me that I should call her and poked me on facebook, though she had ignored me for several days. Then I had this sort of mental vision of two line graphs in my mind. The first line graph showed my spiritual progress with this girl, and it went down rapidly, the second showed my spiritual progress with out her, and it soared. So after telling myself I was an idoit I told the Universe to "call it off" that I would not seek to have this girl in my path. After that I replyed to the email that she suddenly sent me, and guess what... so far have not gotten any response. It would seem that as soon as I told the Universe to call it off, she got really cold again.

This naturally caused me to think more about this topic, and about all the other girls that it didn't seem to work out with, and suddenly I saw it on a different plane than I had before. What if it didn't work out with those girls for the same reason that I have begun to look at totally hot babes and just not "feel it", perhaps its because they are simply not on my path, they are not part of my Tao??

Great paying attention, Matt!

[gendao]

I agree with being your real self, but what I experienced yesterday went beyond that, it was a totally different experience. It was as though I came in contact with the Universe, the fabric of existence itself, and it showed me what a farce our so called free will is lol.

Yea believe it or not, that is what Enlightened people say too..

 

And the deeper you go down the rabbit hole...the more you realize just what a big f'n VR video game life simply is. But all we generally see is the very surface - not the actual coding running the show...

Edited February 9, 2011 by vortex

[Maddie]

Yea believe it or not, that is what Enlightened people say too..

 

And the deeper you go down the rabbit hole...the more you realize just what a big f'n VR video game life simply is. But all we generally see is the very surface - not the actual coding running the show...

 

Hmmmm very insightful.... *ponder ponder

[Maddie]

I had a chance to see Astral's "shut up theory" in action today, but fortunately it was just with my mom so no permanent damage lol. Anyways she was mentioning how she thinks she has ADD (which I don't disagree with). My initial reaction with out even thinking about it (instinct) was to repeat for the millionth time that I think she should order this Kidney Qi herbal formula that I had found online, and used myself in the past. Just about all her various symptoms (not just this) indicate a lack of kidney qi, including the fact that the kidney's house the will, which obviously if this is not strong people are going to have ADD like symptoms. I instantly felt her demeanor change, she got defensive, moody, ect.. Then I suddenly remembered what we had been discussing on here, and realized that if this had been not my mother, but some girl I was trying to meet, that it is probably at this point that she would have gotten distant from me. It does seem to be true, just because someone is complaining about a health issue, and even if you know how to fix it, does NOT mean that you should necessarily offer advice, even if you have to bite your lip until it bleeds lol. I've even noticed that most of the time even when people actually ask me for advice, they still ignor it lol, go figure.

 

I also was going to say about the other topic that came up on this thread, about spiritual compadibility, and allowing the Universe to bring the right girl your way. After my most recent experience I find this point of view to make a whole lot of sense.

[Everything]

I also was going to say about the other topic that came up on this thread, about spiritual compadibility, and allowing the Universe to bring the right girl your way. After my most recent experience I find this point of view to make a whole lot of sense.

Well, you're the universe, so you're allowing yourself to bring the right person your way.

 

From a woman's perspective, they always feel love towards a great friend, and if he's sexually attractive it will become a big crush mixed with sexual tension to spice things up. This is also the same for me personally, although I'm a man. I can also feel love towards a girl friend with whom I have no sexual interest, but this is more a sharing of happiness. Sex is the finishing touch, yet still the first factor that comes into play. First you make her horny and she makes you horny aswell, then you become loving friends who feel happy together and then you decide with your complementary intellects that you will be happy together under the bed sheets. I sense thats the one you are seeking, not just a girlfriend, but a partner with whom you will have a commitment and sexual relationship aswell.

 

Love is a sharing of happiness. It means that your emotions complete the emotions of the other person and vice versa to form a perfect balance of happiness. A good indication is alot of smiling, laughter, alot of ping pong of vibes, enjoying even the small talk. In relationships love can also be shared between friends.

 

Love and Relationboats. They go hand in hand.

 

Pink makes me dizzy

[Maddie]

Well yes true I do want what you mentioned, but it would seem that a recent realization I've come to is that if you are one who is inclined to seek the Tao, that pretty much makes you different than 99.99% of the rest of the population. And not just different as in my hobby is different than your hobby kind of thing. Its more like you are "different" and others and feel it. So since I guess its like then that only 00.01% of the remaining population is going to be compatiable with you, you kind of have to rely on the Universe to cross your path with hers. Though I'm not going to specify what form that might take cause when you try to identify what the Tao is, what you have identified is no longer the Tao.

[Maddie]

Yet another interesting and unusual experience today. I went to the Zen center here cause there were having a class on zazen, which was pretty interesting. What was more interesting was this really cute jewish girl from new york that sat next to me. I just knew by feeling her emotional energy that she was interested in me, so me being the kind soul that I am asked her out for a cup of tea after zazen. She looked delighted and so we went and had tea. She was beautiful, intelligent (she turned out to be a grad student) and very nice, and apparently into zen and yoga, what more could one ask for? Only thing is, I felt no desire for her. I don't know why, cause she had everything any guy could ask for, she was very pretty, just didn't "feel it" for what ever reason.

There is another girl I took out last weekend and she is also pretty, and smart (wants to go to grad school) and kind, pretty much all the same stuff as the first girl I mentioned, but with her I DO feel desire. I just don't understand why if two girls are both pretty, smart, and have similar personalities and interests, why I would have desire for one and not the other??

[manitou]

To put the whole sex/marriage/guilt/lust thing into perspective, it's fun to look to the opposite.

 

We happen to live in an uptight culture that puts a heck of a lot of weight on a stupid piece of paper. If we were all just walking around naked, newly sprung from the Tao or something, we would have no thoughts at all about sex, nakedness, or shame. We would be as an animal, that inner layer of our onion skin.

 

But in our supreme sophistication, we have created the self doubt as human animals that we know how to act at all! You're stifling yourselves so much it sounds like a couple of you are going to explode soon.

 

We are sexual beings. Kundalini energy is sexual energy. Let's try Honesty if we insist on living in monogamous relationships. Maybe monogamous relationships are not what the human is in its natural state. If we are in a long term victim of a relationship, it's because we are manifesting victimhood for some reason, and the relationship is merely the vehicle for reinforcement of that old familiar feeling.

 

We need to change That Old Familiar Feeling, whatever it is. The clue is in the extended feelings we felt as youngsters in the presence of our formative people. Until we change that need to continually reproduce the feeling because it's familiar and safe (even if it's not), we'll keep manifesting that which gets to replay the Old Familiar Feeling again, over and over.

 

I have a history of dating and marrying men that scared the bejeezus out of me at some level. That was my comfort level when I was a kid; that was the way I felt every day when dad came home from work. The underlying thread with every man I've ever "loved" was an undercurrent of absolute terror. It takes a lifetime to work out of things like this; but luckily we can change or modify the behavior once we see the problem. And we don't have to keep passing this stuff on to our kids

[JohnC]

Yet another interesting and unusual experience today. I went to the Zen center here cause there were having a class on zazen, which was pretty interesting. What was more interesting was this really cute jewish girl from new york that sat next to me. I just knew by feeling her emotional energy that she was interested in me, so me being the kind soul that I am asked her out for a cup of tea after zazen. She looked delighted and so we went and had tea. She was beautiful, intelligent (she turned out to be a grad student) and very nice, and apparently into zen and yoga, what more could one ask for? Only thing is, I felt no desire for her. I don't know why, cause she had everything any guy could ask for, she was very pretty, just didn't "feel it" for what ever reason.

There is another girl I took out last weekend and she is also pretty, and smart (wants to go to grad school) and kind, pretty much all the same stuff as the first girl I mentioned, but with her I DO feel desire. I just don't understand why if two girls are both pretty, smart, and have similar personalities and interests, why I would have desire for one and not the other??

 

Energetic interaction... and hell could be a million different things. When I'm deep in my masculine, every girl I want, and I inspire their feminine. Like I feel our polarity pulling together.

 

Could be you weren't connected to your self, she to her self... and on and on.

 

But one meeting doesn't indicate ALL meetings. Everything ebbs and flows.

 

My girl, I was really annoyed with when we first met, and that annoyance later became a lot of passion for sex. But that there was an emotional interaction, that I was present(observant) to, rather than making judgments about.

 

John

[三江源]

. I just don't understand why if two girls are both pretty, smart, and have similar personalities and interests, why I would have desire for one and not the other??

 

 

Why would you?!

 

 

Because real desire isnt about box ticking attributes, it's about a shen alignment. It's invisible to your ego.

[Enishi]

Shen alignment is a factor I have wondered about as well. There are general physical and personality aspects that I am attracted to but sometimes I'm surprised and feel drawn to those who don't fully fit those criteria. Someone showing open interest in me as opposed to playing bs hard to get games is nice as well.

[Maddie]

Ok had another interesting day today lol. I woke up this morning and noticed my dan tien was just buzzing big time, like it was full of chi. Later in the day I go out to the book store, get some books to look at, a cup of coffee and sit down, and then have a "Drew Hemphel like experience". This really good looking girl walks right in front of me, and positions herself so that her ass in right in my face practically. Due to the obvious and by reading her energy I can tell this is very intentional. I remember Drew stating in his McDonald's adventures that girls will do this sometimes in the same way that primate females stick out their back side to show they are "ready to go" so to speak. So anyways this "Drew flashback" comes back to me while this is happening. So she goes over to the coffee bar which is close to where I'm sitting and orders her coffee. While she is doing this I decided to make Drew proud of me, and noticed that my lower dan tien was really buzzing now. So I pull all that excess chi up my MCO to my third eye, and shoot it into her back side which she still has pointed at me very strategically. She then gets a very satisfied look on her face, and after she gets her coffee walks past me just staring at me with this huge grin on her face. As she is doing this I feel an "electric shock" in my heart, as now she is sending the energy blast back at me. My heart does a few palpatations as its over loaded, so to remedy this situation I send this excess chi back down to my lower dan tien where it can be safely stored. Upon doing this then is my turn to feel a pleasurable sensation in my lower dan tien area.

After recovering from that I try to figure out where the girl went. So I turn around and she is behind me, down the book aisle a bit "looking at books". The energy she is putting off is screaming "come and talk to me" but I noticed my limbs have turned to jello, and I'm really tired, so I don't, but rather just sit there trying to take this whole experience in. It was weird too, because after that I didn't really have a large desire to go and talk to her or any other girl for that matter lol. Previous to that experience I had noticed I had been getting flirted with a lot. So naturally I tried to makes sense of the whole thing, and this is the best I could come up with.

First this morning I noticed my lower dan tien was very full of chi. Currently my latest round of retention has gone on for a couple weeks. But this time not because I want to reduce my libido or anything like I did before, but because I wanted to build up my chi. Apparently this has worked, as I have not simply done retention alone, but with the cool draw/testicle breathing, and running my MCO frequently. As Drew stated a while back, once your chi field gets pretty strong, women are attracted to it. I guess that would explain all the flirtation I was getting on the very same day I woke up with my dan tien buzzing. And finally I guess ultimately what we really seek for is energy balance, which I suppose explains that after having this rather unusual Drew like experience with this girl in the book store, that I had really no desire what so ever to follow up and talk to her, I guess she got my yang chi, I got her yin chi, and we were good lol.

[markern]

Hahaha. We need a Drew replacement

[Maddie]

LOL I'm not sure if he is replacable haha, he is totally like yoda , man I miss him on here

[markern]

LOL I'm not sure if he is replacable haha, he is totally like yoda , man I miss him on here

 

You are right there really is no replacement for Drew. You fall short in some departments such as obscure musical theory applied to all of lifes problems etc. But I would love to see some more energetic adventures in McDonalds. Just remember as Drew said that the "thug scene can bee rough in McDonalds" and you might experience as he once did a thug "comming up against his full Lotus".

[Maddie]

Yup he's pretty much a genius ... the thug thing does not seem to be an issue in book stores lol, besides qigong is not the only thing I'm into, I like marital arts too haha

[markern]

Yup he's pretty much a genius ... the thug thing does not seem to be an issue in book stores lol, besides qigong is not the only thing I'm into, I like marital arts too haha

 

The book store sounds like the perfect place for such adventures. Much more still and time to focus and better for sending each other concealed gazes and sneaking arround the bookshelfs is kinda hot

[Maddie]

The book store sounds like the perfect place for such adventures. Much more still and time to focus and better for sending each other concealed gazes and sneaking arround the bookshelfs is kinda hot

 

It is hot lol, and besides bookstores seem to attract the kind of girls I'm into more so than other places. Also you can sort of choose which section you want to hang out in and that further narrows down the type of people who are likely to be in that section.

[markern]

It is hot lol, and besides bookstores seem to attract the kind of girls I'm into more so than other places. Also you can sort of choose which section you want to hang out in and that further narrows down the type of people who are likely to be in that section.

 

Yes. WHen you find them in the tantra section you have saved yourself a lot of work

[Maddie]

Yes. WHen you find them in the tantra section you have saved yourself a lot of work

 

Bahahahaha !!!!

[Maddie]

Since in the last couple months I have found myself newly single again, and since this is the first time I've been single since beginning qigong, it has been quite a learning process for me in many ways.

 

I've noticed that I've had to spend a significant amount of time on each organ in the realm of dating because in each there has been an issue relating to this topic. I know I've already talked about this a bit, but the process of discovery goes on and on...

 

There was fear of women in my kidneys, fear of rejection, ect... In my lungs was the sadness and loneliness that wanted remedy. In my heart was naturally many issues about love and relationships, and also the over excitement issues, which for guys tends to be a bigger issue than for women anyways. In the spleen there was the chronic worry about what girls think about my, what I think about them type stuff.

 

Now it would seem that its my liver's turn. Last night I was just pretty much sitting there minding my own business, and I began to for no reason that I can tell feel extremely aggitated, frustrated, angry, ect... Now while I am just beginning to work on this, and can't say I've made a whole lot of progress yet, my guess is that this is where all the frustration and bitterness of dating comes into play. Also since the positive emotions of the liver are kindness and generosity, I can definately see how these qualities would be attractie in dating, while the while jealous, bitter, possesive, feel sorry for myself attitude is a huge turn off. So off I go to work on my liver lol.

[Maddie]

Since one of the main reasons for me posting on this thread is to make a personal log of my practice I don't mind being the main poster haha.

 

Anyways as I stated yesterday I had been working on my liver in regards to the whole relationship aspect. What I found in there was a lot of the ego stuff that can make relationships problematic. Since the primary emotion of the liver is anger, all sorts of stuff in that realm were found such as frustration, jealousy, controlling attitudes, possesiveness, the need for validity, the tendency to be obsessive about finding a relationship, selfishness, ect...

In addition to using the liver healing sound to eliminate those unwanted emotions I also used the liver inner smile to increase the liver's virtues such as kindness, generosity, ect..

It would seem that I found a lot of things in there that tend to be issues that sabotage a lot of relationships (stuff I didn't even realize was in there, but that tends to happen when one does qigong lol). If the liver houses kindness, the emotions of frustration when a relationship does not go how you think it should can poision things. If the liver generates generosity, envy, jealosy, and possesiveness will definately not be condusive to a good relationship as well. If the liver houses assertivness, things like agression, being controlling, and/or on the other extreme being timid or indecisive will not be good for a relationship either.

 

One thing that did come up though after this is something I'm a bit confused by. I realized from doing this that happiness, and love and contentment do not come from another person (which is why a lot of people seek a relationship and turn out being dissapointed) they come from with in. So that raised the question for me, if we do not get into a relationship to become happy, or loved, why is it that we get into one then? Only thing I could come up with was back to the liver attribues of kindness and generosity, which don't seek to take to be happy, but rather to give.

Edited February 15, 2011 by dmattwads