Makyea

Subconcious Wonderings

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I am sorry if this seems a bit random.

I woke up just now with this dreadful, heavy, almost depressed feeling. I got up and got some water and before I laid down again I noticed I had scribbled something down on my notepad I leave next to my bed. It read:

 

Life is funny. Is it conditioning us for contentment? "Stop reliving and hoping to be what you once were. You turned down that fate, deal with the consequences. It isn't failure if your heart beats," or is the fact that I almost believe that failure in itself?

 

It made me feel afraid and somewhat relieved because I think I subconsciously wrote down the things from the back of my mind that have been making me feel uneasy, but only led me to more questions. I was just wondering what your opinions were about it. How does it make you feel? What is failure to you? Is it alright to be content with life? Are those who are content and let life be just a heartbeat ungrateful for all the other chances they are given?

 

I am not searching for some great answer, just your true honest opinion.

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Hi,

 

Keep in mind that I am fairly aged. (Okay, I'm an old man. Hehehe.)

 

Failure doesn't bother me anymore. I have nothing to prove to anyone. I still make lots of mistakes. No big thing, I just try doing it a different way. Chances are good that I will eventually stumble on the correct way to do whatever.

 

I saw in your post that "what if" thought. Get rid of all of those. They only hold you back from reaching your full potential.

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I am sorry if this seems a bit random.

I woke up just now with this dreadful, heavy, almost depressed feeling. I got up and got some water and before I laid down again I noticed I had scribbled something down on my notepad I leave next to my bed. It read:

 

Life is funny. Is it conditioning us for contentment? "Stop reliving and hoping to be what you once were. You turned down that fate, deal with the consequences. It isn't failure if your heart beats," or is the fact that I almost believe that failure in itself?

 

It made me feel afraid and somewhat relieved because I think I subconsciously wrote down the things from the back of my mind that have been making me feel uneasy, but only led me to more questions. I was just wondering what your opinions were about it. How does it make you feel? What is failure to you? Is it alright to be content with life? Are those who are content and let life be just a heartbeat ungrateful for all the other chances they are given?

 

I am not searching for some great answer, just your true honest opinion.

 

 

EDIT: Sorry guys, when you spent contentment or whatever energy, like happiness in the past you will suffer. This is the nature of suffering. Spending energy on the past or future is a big part of it. Instead, enjoy your current life fully, and create the life that is most good to you by trial and error of fine tuning your perception and that of reality.

 

Happiness wasted on the past is the same thing as sadness. This is why the content don't wonder with their contentment in the past and find them selves ungrateful.

Edited by Everything

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Hi there,

I couldn't help but think of automatic writing when I read what you wrote. You most likely know what this is. But for the ones that don't, it is when your guide, or what have you communicates with you. And then again it could be just what you said, you could of subconsciously wrote it your self in your sleep. But what ever the case, it is very interesting and enlightening. And something for us all to think about this day of "1/1/11 the New Year"...

 

We all have failures, and regret, everyone. It is a hard pill to take for everyone. Sometimes it just takes time, and sometimes it takes change in our lives... We are all on the same path together my friend, and I strongly believe that we will all understand things one day better than we can through the eye we see through now...

Hugs Melanie

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I was just wondering what your opinions were about it. How does it make you feel? What is failure to you? Is it alright to be content with life?

Accepting failure has been one of my most necessary steps in growing. How can I be a beginner, if I can't accept failure?

 

My own "need to get it done right" is no more than an addiction, I think, a way of trying to prove to myself that I am worthy. It cuts me off from new opportunities, because they present new chances to fail.

 

Why do I need to be "worthy"? Why do I need to be "right"? Those adjectives only describe arbitrary nodes on spectra that are created by my own perspective, the accuracy of which is unknowable.

 

Are those who are content and let life be just a heartbeat ungrateful for all the other chances they are given?

I don't understand what "being content" has to do with "being ungrateful for the past opportunities". Can I not be fully grateful, without holding on to regrets of what I have not achieved? (There is nothing wrong with the message that regret brings; the only problem is how loud and persistent it can be).

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You turned down that fate, deal with the consequences.

 

 

I find that very question comes up more the older I get. I'm in my mid-60's now and in a more comprehensive position to look backward than I was, say, 10 years ago.

 

The way I've interpreted my own life, in retrospect, is that at some point in time I decided to search for the truth, to be a seeker. Because of this, my path branched off from the traditional. I started going to Manley Hall lectures in the 1960's. Once that set in, I realize now that there was a subtle shift in my path. I think something activated, something very subtle and deep inside; but I see now that this path has taken me over hill and dale in some pretty strange ways. I look back now and do have some regrets. I wish I had had at least one child, I never really wanted kids. But my path just didn't take me through the traditional family setting.

 

Often I didn't know I was on a path at all. I look back and see years of alcoholism, and yet today I realize it too was part of my path, as it took me to the steps to recovery which cleaned out my psychic innards in a way that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't worked the steps.

 

I think the conclusion I've come to is that It lives inside me; I'm a part of It. It seems to know what It's doing, so I don't think I'll question it much longer. I compare myself to my brother and I pale in comparison to what he has accomplished in life. His life is so full....and in a traditional way, he has done everything right. In comparison, I have not much to show for my years, but on the other hand my inner life is full; my brother hasn't yet noticed that he has an inner life. Do I look at his life with envy sometimes? I must admit that I do. Does he look at mine with envy? Yes, because I seem to have nary a problem in his eyes. So we're both looking at the grass on the other side of the fence.

 

It's easy to forget just how much anxiety and confusion many people live in; people who don't value the inner. The fact that you do value the inner is what's put you here. Can you look back at a time when you were clueless and at the mercy of anything and everyone that came down the road? When you couldn't control your reactions, in fact you were your reactions. I'm guessing that's no longer the way it is with you.

 

At yet, here we are on this discussion group website. We're not here because we decided to become a Taoist yesterday (actually, does anybody here even call themselves that, particularly the Westerners? Seems like we all got here from somewhere else). We're here because we've been seekers for a very long time, whether we've known it or not. I think we're right where we're supposed to be.

 

Thank you for the nice, honest topic.

Edited by manitou

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It's easy to forget just how much anxiety and confusion many people live in; people who don't value the inner.

 

This summer of unemployment gave me an opportunity to basically live in a continuous yoga retreat. I'm amazed how many people tell me how relaxed and happy I look. Of course I was fortunate to have a support system of my family that allowed me to take the time off. When a new job comes along and it's time to jump back in, hopefully the lessons will have been learned.

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