SodaChanh

One more thing. I find Dvd7 med #4 good for awareness meditation. Do that first or end your meds with #4, then abide in pure awareness for the amount of minutes you like doing.

From Namkhai Norbu, dzogchen master There are the turnings of the wheel in Buddhism. As for any split, I don't see any, it is a matter of Destiny / affinity.

One thing I have learned by sitting everyday doing nothing is to let the mind do its thing and just watch it by not reacting or following stories. Also being verbally quiet and let it air out until there is no reaction left in the body-mind. This is undoing the do-er which itself is an object in awareness.

If one is intellectualising awakening Life will throw things at you to shake things up in your system.

Exactly, this is freedom.

Something like VortexHealing is much deeper than psychotherapy but sometimes a mix is good for releasing blocks in your system. Facing a person revealing your inner thoughts and feelings can aid in the path since the ego doesn't like vulnerability. Ultimately the path is to let go of the 'I' - marinate in Presence and let the mind release itself.

Move to South East Asia.

There is no anchor really. Like Ramana Maharshi says the Heart is Reality. It is neither inside nor outside. Pointing out by a master makes this obvious at once. You see Reality.

Yes but... You see?

What is your next thought going to be?

I like this video on the Don't Know Mind

I have worked a bit on your situation with one of my healing tools. Hope it helps. I can suggest specific healing tools in PMs.

Not sure as it is pitch black in my bedroom during the night so I don't look at a clock or a timer.

Sounds more like emotional release. This is easy stuff. You can also do just sitting, everything will free up if you do it for a long time. I can channel special energies and consciousness to release stuck emotional stuff, it is worthwhile to do if one wishes to do so. Edit: I can point you to two healing systems you can learn for only approx 10 usd, yet they are worth much more in terms of emotional and mental freedom.

Sometimes when I woke up in the middle of the night I would practice the whole of dvd7 and then fall asleep. I would then in most cases have a lucid dream where I knew with 100% certainty it was a dream so no fear or any 'negative' emotion would arise. Very interesting for insight. The whole of FP increases libido I think. There is this deeply relaxing effect of FP which is unique. I sometimes feel like almost falling asleep while being awake while doing the med like GMDW does in his videos. For mental clarity just about any FP med would do since the energy clears away any disturbance in the mind in my opinion. Don't give up, just keep going, the proof is in the results 😊