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This I suppose is a good topic for the old transgender thread. Personally I feel like my relationship to my old boy life is more positive than a lot of other transwomen. I think one reason is that I was so suppressed for so long I just thought I was a boy and didn't really question it for a long time. So it's hard to hate something that you thought you were ok with at the time. The other thing is that while obviously I didn't ultimately feel comfortable as a boy, I didn't hate myself. I practiced self compassion even back then and I think that helped a lot. Besides now I have the unique perspective of seeing life from both points of view and that is something most people don't have. People seem to be fascinated when I tell them how life as a boy was verses life as a girl.
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That is how I refer to myself, so sample size of one says yes lol. "one time back when I was a boy" makes me think "this one time at band camp"
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I have certainly offended my mother before by telling her how I really feel about my childhood. She has, and is welcome to have, whatever fond memories of it she likes. But my memories—when they exist at all—are mostly of a suffering I could not articulate, both for lack of the words to shape it and lack of trust in those around me to understand me if I did find the words.
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My current view for what it is worth is that Dzogchen and Mahamudra derive from Zouwang.
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Thanks this issue came up with my mom´s partner and his transwoman daughter. My mom´s partner wanted to share memories of his daughter´s childhood "when she was a boy." This didn´t go over well. He´d saved a bunch of childhood toys for her and she didn´t want them, seemed to want to disavow her past. This was understandably difficult for my mom´s partner.
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you are wiser than i...
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Actually he doesn't. American diet belly hangs low and flabby. Frantzis's belly sits high and tight, balloon style. It's a different kind of belly altogether.
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It is going to vary by person, but err on the side of referring to them by the gender they are, even when speaking about their past. In terms of the "metaphysics" of it, there is a sense in which I "was once a boy" and a sense in which I "have always been a girl"—it's a complex messy history and which way I choose to speak depends on which aspect I want to highlight and what mix of feelings I'm having about it at any given time. You can fairly well predict that any trans person has complex feelings about the time they had to spend living out a false gender. Better to be on the safe side and affirm your recognition of the gender they are, without calling attention to that history. (You can also, of course, use a gender neutral term like "kid" or "child")
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Is 'just sitting' a post-enlightment practice?
tao.te.kat replied to Vajra Fist's topic in Buddhist Discussion
Pure shikantaza is impossible prior kensho. It was know even for Bodhidharma so long ago (you can find it). Bodhidharma spoke of this in his Essay on the Dharma pulse: If someone without kensho tries constantly to make his thoughts free and unattached, he commits a great transgression against the Dharma and is a great fool to boot. He winds up in the passive indifference of empty emptiness, no more able to distinguish good from bad than a drunken man. If you want to put the Dharma of non- activity into practice, you must bring an end to all your thought-attachments by breaking through into kensho. Unless you have kensho, you can never expect to achieve a state of non-doing. Prior to kensho you do Zazen Which is not exactly the same. But they're not so different. So there's some confussion. Prior to the turning over described in the Lankavatara sutra (paravritti aka kensho in japanese) zazen is like self-liberation of thoughts in Tibet. You stay there, no point of focus, but attentive, if you get lost in a fantasy, you detect it, let it go and go back to be attentive. After kensho, shikantaza is just sitting because you shouldnt self-liberate, you just stay in front of thoughts when they appear, and you just stay when they dont appear. You are attentive and that's all. Because, as Bodhidharma said you're free and unattached to thoughts. So you achieve a state of "only-sitting" or non-doing. -
Not very different of what already have been said: In Mahamudra they talk about Sutric Mahamura, Tantric Mahamudra and Essence Mahamudra. Essence Mahamudra is quite close to Dzogchen. The most important is recognizing your own nature and then the main path begins. Call it rigpa or essence or whatever. And the main practice is returning all the time to this rigpa-essence. So they're quite close. Sometimes they're considered "direct vehicles" because you train directly from scratch with buddha nature (only after recognition). That's my path. In tantric Mahamudra usually you will work with the Six yogas of Naropa (or Kalachakra or some other tantric teaching) together with the Mahamudra practices. And it's a gradual approach. Also sutric Mahamudra will be gradual too and there will be more focus on paramitas, prajna, four noble truths, etc... samatha and vipashyana, etc... More or less... A good reference for Essence Mahamudra can be "Gampopa teaches essence Mahamudra" (2 books) You have a lot of "Six yogas of Naropa" books And as for the main drawing of all the Mahamudra path any book from Dakpo Tashi Namgyal will do well.
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I have a question. Is it better to refer to a transgender person as always having been the gender they transitioned into? Is it OK when taking to a transgender woman, for instance, to say "when you were a boy..."?
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Headache, daydreaming need help
snowymountains replied to Chang dao ling's topic in Daoist Discussion
That's up to the OP, he can go or not go, up to him/her -
Headache, daydreaming need help
-ꦥꦏ꧀ ꦱꦠꦿꦶꦪꦺꦴ- replied to Chang dao ling's topic in Daoist Discussion
Sometimes you don’t need to pay a therapist to understand something. If it was the case of repeated horrific violent scenes appearing unprompted then by all means, go see a therapist. But if it’s “I was daydreaming and one time it was violent” then I don’t think it’s so urgent as to waste your time and money going to a therapist. -
In my case the body forced it on me by both hormonal changes, early menopause and thus deteriorating mucous membranes and an illness that lets my body react with allergy-like reaction to arousal. also allergic to estrogens btw... so I am a perfect celibate monk in my old age, not by choice though. thinking on it, but not being male more like wondering. When you change the hormonal balance by taking estrogens and thus reducing the influence of testosteron. I guess it just follow that you're less inclined to want sex. uhm...like of old you had eunuchs with their balls cut of, another way to drastically reduce testosteron and sexdrive. or am i amiss with that thought? I seem to remember there was some bible text about this too
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Headache, daydreaming need help
snowymountains replied to Chang dao ling's topic in Daoist Discussion
The therapist will help him understand why he sees violence which is something he wants to understand. -
Headache, daydreaming need help
silent thunder replied to Chang dao ling's topic in Daoist Discussion
Many people claim mastery on the interwebs. It's a realm of words. And words are easily shared and claims are as simple as a few key strokes. Be wary of easily proffered advice and claims of achievement and mastery has been and is my process with all internet conversations. Over time real mastery will usually be discernible and reliable relationships may give access to useful actionable advice. Until then reach out to those you already know and trust with such important queries. Best of health to you. -
Much that is mind gets programmed and stored in the body it seems. Working with the body seems and for me has been an effective means in bringing to awareness deep conditioning and deeply seeded mind blocks and storage when current conditions support release. Though silence and stillness still assert before and after all movement work and are the foundation in my own process.
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Oh, thank you for clarifying. I really didn´t know what you meant. And you´re right that I don´t want my sexual lust taken away.
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mine were less frilly but even a nonfrilly dress is nasty climbing trees and such things as the skirt tends to catch on things. Plus I was a boy and boys wear pants, not dresses.
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although some spiritually minded people would like to have their sexual lust taken away, somehow I think you are not one of them. Mine was taken by some disease of the body and I do not like that one bit, take care you keep yours, don't increase the risk by jokingly talking about it..
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Is a nondual realisation equivalent to a kundalini activation?
old3bob replied to idiot_stimpy's topic in General Discussion
and which almost killed Gopi Krishna even though his intentions and practice were 100% devotional, hopeful and pure according to his recounting as I remember reading it... anyway a million volts, as an analogy, is still a million volts and preparation is wise but still one can only make so many preparations before getting shocked (figuratively) one way or another. -
Headache, daydreaming need help
-ꦥꦏ꧀ ꦱꦠꦿꦶꦪꦺꦴ- replied to Chang dao ling's topic in Daoist Discussion
Best advice. But don’t even bother wasting money on a psychotherapist. It’s a literal daydream. Just your imagination. Nothing more, nothing less. Whatever violent thoughts came could be from something you saw on tv, a videogame you played or a book you read. -
Granted I do take my skin care routine very seriously though. I moisturize frequently and I do cosmetic acupuncture. Additionally every day I take Jing tonics. Also it's completely up to you but if you want to share a selfie do feel free. 😊
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Could someone explain the Buddhist belief system to me?
tao.te.kat replied to DreamBliss's topic in Buddhist Discussion
>As seen from this mind, thoughts are the driving pulse of actions and desires. Without them then no action is possible. Do you think on walking while walking? Do you think on talking while talking? Do you think on driving while driving? Etc... In fact it's very rare that you're thinking about what you're doing in this moment (check it yourself). So it cannot be the driver of the current action. So no, thoughts, like action (it's a form of internal action) arise from a deeper ground, based on desires and attachments. So it's the reverse: desires, attachments, fears and the rest, motivate actions and thougths. You can check it yourself. That deeper ground is Alaya (eigth consciousness). ALso in the 12 nidanas, Bhavana (becoming) comes from Upadana (attachment) -
Esoteric vs Non-Esoteric Meditation Traditions
tao.te.kat replied to Robin's topic in Buddhist Discussion
Dzogchen history contains a lot of debate as is mostly based on relatively recent Termas (findings) that claim to be very old. But no proof of it. "Recent" means from XII century or so. A lot of information here (I hope it's allowed): Dzogchen Historiography - Dharma Wheel For example, Bardo Thodol is supposed to be a text from Padmasambhava (VIII century) but it was found on the XIV century by Karma Lingpa...
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