How do you protect your energy while staying sensitive and connected?

[Kati]

Hello Everyone  
 

I’m looking for spiritual practices to help me stay grounded in my own energy while being around others.

 

For example, Qigong helps me find my center again, and I often ask myself, “Is this feeling truly mine or coming from someone else?” I’m curious if you use other clear techniques or rituals that help with this?

If you’d like to discuss broader personal experiences (such as general sensitivity or longer stories), please DM me — I’m happy to listen privately. Otherwise, the thread can get a bit overwhelming and I might end up missing some helpful tips.
For this thread, please share only practical tips, exercises, rituals related to sensing other peoples energetic

Thank you — I’m looking forward to your helpful, focused tips!

[BigSkyDiamond]

practical tips to stay grounded while around others.

 

if it is unsettling (ungrounding) to be around others, then limit the time and duration.

spend as much time as you can NOT being around others so you can get a clearer sense of what is you and what is yours

 

set and maintain and keep clear personal boundaries in all interactions and association with others. 

 

cultivate activities in your life which are grounding: put your hands in the dirt, lots of time in nature, walk on the dirt paths or grass when possible, hang out with trees, garden, houseplants.  spend time sitting on the floor for any daily activities.

 

when i was working full time in an office, surrounded all day by 30 or 40 people literally all in the same (big) room i took every opportunity that i could to be by myself.  So every lunch and every break i left the building and went outside and either walked in nature or sat in my car reading.  I also willingly took on any tasks and duties during the work day which included walking outside the building.  Everyone on my team loved this because nobody else wanted to do these tasks.  

 

for some, being around other people makes them feel more enlivened (it charges them up like a battery) they find it to be positive and actively seek it out.  For others, being around other people is draining and exhausting and unsettling, they find it negative and actively seek to limit it.  I am in that category.

 

a good rule of thumb i have used is that whatever amount of time is spent "out in the ethers" then an equal or greater amount of time is spent on physical grounding activities such as hands in the dirt gardening, walking in nature.  if someone spends 2 hours where they leave the body, then spend at least 2 hours walking in nature or hands in the dirt gardening.  Balance is essential.

 

same is true for receiving any type of body work.  if a bodyworker knows what they are doing they will tell you this as part of your after care.  if you receive "energy work" then it has to be grounded afterwards for your own balance.  I traveled to Canada to receive a series of sessions of bodywork from a practitioner.  It was all "hands off" meaning without touch.  She requires her clients after sessions to not only rest and drink a lot of water, but to physically go outside and walk in nature for several hours.

 

get in the habit of picturing roots coming out of the bottom of your feet, and growing deep deep into the earth. Root yourself to the earth.

 

Edited August 10 by BigSkyDiamond

[BigSkyDiamond]

5 hours ago, Kati said:

I’m looking for spiritual practices to help me stay grounded in my own energy while being around others.

 

and for starters, think of them as physical practices.

focus on the physical, on your physical body.  not spirit, not your etheric body, not energy, not your light body.

feet on the ground

run cold water over your hands and wrists, up to the elbow.

sit on the edge of the tub and put your feet under running cold water.

[Kati]

3 hours ago, BigSkyDiamond said:

spend as much time as you can NOT being around others so you can get a clearer sense of what is you and what is y

yes totally. that is very important

 

3 hours ago, BigSkyDiamond said:

set and maintain and keep clear personal boundaries in all interactions and association with others. 

very true, i am working on this

 

3 hours ago, BigSkyDiamond said:

a good rule of thumb i have used is that whatever amount of time is spent "out in the ethers" then an equal or greater amount of time is spent on physical grounding activities such as hands in the dirt gardening, walking in nature.  if someone spends 2 hours where they leave the body, then spend at least 2 hours walking in nature or hands in the dirt gardening.  Balance is essential

nice rule

 

3 hours ago, BigSkyDiamond said:

et in the habit of picturing roots coming out of the bottom of your feet, and growing deep deep into the earth. Root yourself to the earth.

this is already part of my pratice
 

looks like i am already learning the things you recommend me. nice  thank you

[Krenx]

Equanimity. Stillness. Those qualities are not just developed in your formal practice, but needs to be enforced in your daily life and habits. 

 

That clarity that arises from equanimity, will dispell questions about who's energy is from where, and which is what. You will discern and know for yourself. 

 

Like choppy waters, nothing is clear, it is all muddy, guesswork, impossible to judge objectively. When you make the energies and mind settle to become clear without ripples, you can see and know. 

 

Abandoning alcohol and drugs, stop listening to music passively in the background, decrease your interaction with people who are not involved in your path, abandon harmful people in your life. These are real changes that will make a real difference besides your formal practice. 

[Kati]

On 11.8.2025 at 10:22 AM, Krenx said:

Those qualities are not just developed in your formal practice, but needs to be enforced in your daily life and habits. 

yes since i am doin qigong it is a bit more easy to remain calm, when I listen to people who are emotional. I can see that they are not unhappy because of the situation itself, but because of their interpretation of it — and that they could change that if they wanted to. So it’s not actually a hopeless situation, as they describe it. But for a long time, I couldn’t see that. For a long time, when people were suffering, I thought there was nothing they could do. And… yeah.

[Lala Nila]

Equanimity, yes! Being non-reactive those who are trying to get you to react. Finding the root of certain reactive emotions whether fear, anger, anything intense and allowing a certain neutrality to overcome you. Be the observer.

 

grounding can be done with bare feet in the grass, or resting your back upon a glorious tree (I like pine trees for this, be mindful of sap). The cold water technique above is also great, but to add to it- allow cold water to stream on the back of the neck-this resets the vagus nerve. 

 

As Krenx also stated drug and alcohol should also be abandoned, they harm more than help.

[Kati]

Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts. It seems that remaining rooted in stillness is essential. In stillness i can flow with the energies around me without being influenced by them or becoming entangled in the illusions of the five senses.
 the more i learn about daoism and qigong, i can sense that this is going far beyond the healing i can get with psychological methods. i am happy to explore this

[BigSkyDiamond]

31 minutes ago, Kati said:

Thank you all for taking the time to share your thoughts. It seems that remaining rooted in stillness is essential. In stillness i can flow with the energies around me without being influenced by them or becoming entangled in the illusions of the five senses.
 the more i learn about daoism and qigong, i can sense that this is going far beyond the healing i can get with psychological methods. i am happy to explore this

 

bold above is a bit of a flag.  it is not an either-or.  they are complementary and used in conjunction together.

 

it does not replace secular psychology. 

it does not replace common sense physical practical benchmarks and reality checks.

it does not replace recovery work (such as 12-step programs).

 

Do not stop using any of those where they are indicated.  

doing "only" daoism and qigong by itself with nothing else, is NOT sufficient.  it can actually make things worse for instance bringing up trauma for processing and clearing.  psychology methods are essential for that. 

 

it can result in imbalance and qi deviation.  there needs to be a safety net in place and reality check with regards to realistically being able to recognize any imbalance whether that is physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, or spiritual pain. And to seek treatment and utilize resources to address those imbalances, whether that is a doctor, counseling, therapy, 12-step recovery.

 

 

 

 

Edited Friday at 10:17 PM by BigSkyDiamond

[Mark Foote]

 

On 8/10/2025 at 4:14 AM, Kati said:

 

I’m looking for spiritual practices to help me stay grounded in my own energy while being around others.

 

For example, Qigong helps me find my center again, and I often ask myself, “Is this feeling truly mine or coming from someone else?” I’m curious if you use other clear techniques or rituals that help with this?

... For this thread, please share only practical tips, exercises, rituals related to sensing other peoples energetic

Thank you — I’m looking forward to your helpful, focused tips!
 

 

Bear with me for just a bit:

 

In one of Dogen’s most famous essays, called “Genjo Koan”, he wrote:
 

When you find your place where you are, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point. 

(“Genjo Koan [Actualizing the Fundamental Point]”, tr. Kazuaki Tanahashi)

 

 

Neuroscientists describe “your place where you are” as your “embodied self-location”:

 

A key aspect of the bodily self is self-location, the experience that the self is localized at a specific position in space within one’s bodily borders (embodied self-location). 

(Journal of Neuroscience 26 May 2010, 30 (21) 7202-7214; https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.3403-09.2010)

 

Dogen’s “Genjo Koan” can be paraphrased in terms of “self-location”:
 

When you find the “specific position in space” where you feel your bodily self to be, activity in the body begins to coordinate by virtue of that place.  A relationship between the place of “embodied self-location” and activity in the body comes forward, and as that relationship comes forward, practice occurs.  Through such practice, the point that is the “specific position in space” of embodied self-location is manifested in activity.

 

There can come a moment when the experience of consciousness retained with “embodied self-location” becomes the experience of “embodied self-location” retained with consciousness. Dogen continued his “Genjo Koan”:
 

When you find your way at this moment, practice occurs, actualizing the fundamental point… 

(“Genjo Koan [Actualizing the Fundamental Point]”, tr. Kazuaki Tanahashi)

 

To paraphrase:
 

“When you find your way at this moment”, a relationship between the freedom of consciousness and the automatic activity of the body comes forward, and as that relationship comes forward, practice occurs. Through such practice, the place of occurrence of consciousness in the moment is manifested as the activity of the body.
 

 

(The Place Where You Stop and Rest)
 

 

To "stay grounded in my own energy while being around others", I return to the relinquishment of willful activity, while mustering a spirit of friendliness and compassion without limit. 

 

When you sit, the cushion sits with you. If you wear glasses, the glasses sit with you. Clothing sits with you. House sits with you. People who are moving around outside all sit with you. They don’t take the sitting posture!

(Kobun Chino Otogawa, “Aspects of Sitting Meditation”, “Shikantaza”; from jikoji.org)

 

 

The spirit of compassion can bring the others in. Meanwhile:

You know, sometimes zazen gets up and walks around.

(Kobun Chino Otogawa, close of a lecture at the S. F. Zen Center)

 

 

Sometimes, you might find yourself walking, in the extension of compassion.

 

Big Sky Diamond has a point, not to diminish that. But psychologists may not mention the above.

 

 

Edited Friday at 10:33 PM by Mark Foote

[Kati]

1 hour ago, BigSkyDiamond said:

bold above is a bit of a flag.  it is not an either-or.  they are complementary and used in conjunction together.

 

it does not replace secular psychology. 

it does not replace common sense physical practical benchmarks and reality checks.

it does not replace recovery work (such as 12-step programs)

i agree, it cannot replace it. it needs a certain psychological stability for energy work.
i still sense qigong goes beyong the psyche, because it helps me connect with my soul  
does this make sense?

[BigSkyDiamond]

yes 

[Cobie]

 

1 minute ago, Kati said:

… it helps me connect with my soul  does this make sense?

Yes definitely; imo that’s what it’s all about, to “connect with my soul”.  
 

 

[steve]

Some wonderful suggestions here.

Contrary to a recent thread bemoaning the fall and end of DaoBums, I see a small but vibrant, engaged, and wise group of practitioners here that still have a lot to offer if one is ready to learn in so many different areas.

 

A few things I'd like to add from my own practice. No matter how much we try to protect ourselves (energetically, mentally, even physically), we will inevitably bump up against people and situations that drain and threaten us. Even if we avoid them we will still have to face our own isolated selves, the greatest challenge!  I think it's important to look not only at how to protect ourselves and our energy but how to do so in increasingly challenging circumstances so that we can engage as fully as possible in our lives and in the world and use our practices to grow and help others.

 

The first step is to find the right practices that give us that sense of needed protection. Each of us has to be sensitive to our needs and find the right approach and I increasingly value the need for them to be comprehensive. The second step is to put in the time to master those practices, mastery simply meaning that they genuinely work for us, we can see tangible benefits. The next step is to gradually begin to challenge ourselves, face those people and situations we prefer to avoid, little by little, using our practices both in real time and on the cushion, before and after the fact, exercising them like our physical muscles. At some point I think it's critical to bring this approach to those closest and yet farthest from us - estranged family members and the like. It's very important at this stage to be able to observe ourselves objectively, noticing reactivity as it arises without getting too wrapped up in the analysis or explanations, staying very close to the feelings, the direct experience. Then engaging in our practices with those feelings being very fresh and alive.

 

Fire is a good metaphor for developing this type of strength in our practices. At first we are like a small flame, a match, that needs to be protected from even a light breeze, and this stage can't be rushed or forced, we need to protect until our flame can withstand some pressure. As our flame grows, we can protect it less and it will stay lit as long as the wind is not too strong. At this stage we can get discouraged because progress can be slow. It can feel like one step forward, two steps back at time. Here it is so important to feel trust in our approach, that's what can carry us through. Eventually our flame can be so strong that even a gale just feeds it and makes it stronger, like a bonfire. This is the pinnacle of spiritual practice, IMO. Not that we find some sort of fairyland where nothing ever bothers us at all, rather that we feel what we feel, good and bad, and know how to make the most of every situation.

 

So I think it's important to protect our energy when it needs protection but to maintain the mindset and intention that we will eventually not need much protection. In fact, we may discover that at some point we can be the protector for those who are more vulnerable. This can take the form of teaching or simply being that calm, compassionate, empathetic, even wrathful force when engaging with others. 

 

[BigSkyDiamond]

very well-said, Steve.

Thank you.

 

seeing it as an arc and progression is very helpful for me.

 

Edited yesterday at 03:51 PM by BigSkyDiamond

[Tommy]

Sorry, not very aware of practices that will protect one's energy while staying sensitive and connected.

Just using a little logic, it seems to me that being deeply rooted in one's practice would set one firmly in one's energy.

However, being around other means that what happens with them will affect one. How can it not? 

If one becomes friends with another then whatever happens to the other will affect one.

It is only natural. If one keeps one's distance then isn't that separation?

Am I really that different from you that I must keep myself safe from your influence?

Do you want to not feel love or compassion? But stay sensitive and connected??

Sorry, I am confused.

 

How does one stay connected and sensitive while protecting one's energy?

Limit one's time with others? Keep separate. Like hermits?

What good is one's practice if it is only good when alone, separate from others?

Again sorry for my ignorance.