Sex in Relation to Neidan for Men

[-ꦥꦏ꧀ ꦱꦠꦿꦶꦪꦺꦴ-]

6 hours ago, Barnaby said:

The way I've been taught, the number one cause of Jing depletion is the emotions.   

This is what I've learned too. Jing depletion is not just as simple as losing semen. Your thoughts and arousal play a factor. Having sex or bringing yourself to orgasm without ejaculation will still make you lose jing, and may fuck you up in other ways if you keep retaining your semen without ever releasing it. 

 

Like everything else in life, moderation is key. What's the point in not having sex or ejaculating at all but then having it on your mind 24/7, or even worse trying to suppress the thought of having sex on your mind 24/7. Just relax and don't take anything into excess. Don't have too much sex/ejaculation and don't have too little. A rule of thumb I've been thought is that the number of decades you've lived should correspond to the amount of days between ejaculation, so if you are a teenager you keep 1 day between ejaculation, in your 20s keep 2 days between ejaculation, in your 30s keep 3 days etc. But of course the longer of days you keep between the better, just don't hold it in too much, have fun and release once in a while. Just don't think too much about it, don't take it too seriously. The less things you worry about the better for your mind and in turn your practice.

[MetaDao]

1 hour ago, Pak_Satrio said:

This is what I've learned too. Jing depletion is not just as simple as losing semen. Your thoughts and arousal play a factor. Having sex or bringing yourself to orgasm without ejaculation will still make you lose jing, and may fuck you up in other ways if you keep retaining your semen without ever releasing it. 

 

Like everything else in life, moderation is key. What's the point in not having sex or ejaculating at all but then having it on your mind 24/7, or even worse trying to suppress the thought of having sex on your mind 24/7. Just relax and don't take anything into excess. Don't have too much sex/ejaculation and don't have too little. A rule of thumb I've been thought is that the number of decades you've lived should correspond to the amount of days between ejaculation, so if you are a teenager you keep 1 day between ejaculation, in your 20s keep 2 days between ejaculation, in your 30s keep 3 days etc. But of course the longer of days you keep between the better, just don't hold it in too much, have fun and release once in a while. Just don't think too much about it, don't take it too seriously. The less things you worry about the better for your mind and in turn your practice.

Good answer! That’s the Neigong view on it

[freeform]

There’s a very well known teacher (not naming) who was trained from a very young age under a strict master.

 

He became incredibly skilled - but as a result of missing out on normal human experiences developed what I’d consider an unhealthy obsession with sex in his adulthood… An addiction to prostitutes in my opinion is unhealthy. Some say that this ended up costing him dearly.

 

Personal growth, development and maturation are just as important as some esoteric mechanics, in my opinion.

[Trunk]

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[MetaDao]

50 minutes ago, freeform said:

There’s a very well known teacher (not naming) who was trained from a very young age under a strict master.

 

He became incredibly skilled - but as a result of missing out on normal human experiences developed what I’d consider an unhealthy obsession with sex in his adulthood… An addiction to prostitutes in my opinion is unhealthy. Some say that this ended up costing him dearly.

 

Personal growth, development and maturation are just as important as some esoteric mechanics, in my opinion.

And, I would agree. Personal growth is a necessary prerequisite for spiritual growth.

 

So, basically I’ve concluded that the Neigong approach to sex is the healthiest until such a time that you feel sex can be ruled out entirely. Moderation.

 

Until you’ve reached a point in your life where you feel it can be eliminated.

 

Just have fun, chill out, and enjoy the journey  

Edited December 19, 2022 by MetaDao

[MetaDao]

I also would like to apologize for my harsh wording on here.

 

It seems that I am screaming at people that they have no fate for Neidan simply because they do not understand things as I do.

 

However, sex is one of those topics where I hate bullshit. It can easily turn into a dick measuring contest where old men say, I’m still having sex! Or, if you’re not having sex, good luck with emotional connection! And, I don’t put up with bullshit.

 

This is the neidan perspective on sex that I’ve outlined. If you want to reach the highest levels of Neidan, eventually sex must be completely eliminated. To think otherwise is to be delusional.

 

My opinion and belief is that this must happen at everyone’s own pace, as to enforce strict guidelines upon it runs the risk of creating sexual deviants. Also, if we are completely transparent on authentic Daoist sexual teachings, the fake teachings about bullshit like semen retention, semen circulation, and other such nonsense will be eliminated.

 

Of course, sex can be had every now and then by even those far into the alchemical process, but it is still considered a waste. And, it is not the same as desire has been changed on a fundamental(elemental level). Yes, sex is the physical vessel for deep emotional connection with a loving partner, however it can be moved beyond to things even more connective than sex.

 

Also, if you’ve had sex 100 or more times with the same partner, eventually you will both be ready to move beyond it naturally.

 

Moderation for personal growth.

 

Elimination for the highest of spiritual growth. That’s my final view on it.

 

 

 

 

Edited December 19, 2022 by MetaDao

[Barnaby]

2 hours ago, MetaDao said:

It seems that I am screaming at people that they have no fate for Neidan simply because they do not understand things as I do.

 

Something got lost in translation.

 

I was actually being friendly. It was not my intention to be boastful, competitive, or patronising. Sorry if it came over like that.

 

You said you wanted a conversation. I thought I'd contribute an alternative perspective. You didn't want to hear it.

 

C'est la vie (...say the old folks )

 

Best of luck with your practice.

 

 

[MetaDao]

5 minutes ago, Barnaby said:

 

Something got lost in translation.

 

I was actually being friendly. It was not my intention to be boastful, competitive, or patronising. Sorry if it came over like that.

 

You said you wanted a conversation. I thought I'd contribute an alternative perspective. You didn't want to hear it.

 

C'est la vie (...say the old folks )

 

Best of luck with your practice.

 

 

I think it was my bad that I misinterpreted it in the wrong way  

 

I read it in a patronizing yet helpful way. After re-reading it, it seems like I was overreacting  

 

Thank you 🙏 

 

You as well

[Brad M]

  my advice, if you find a good lady, sleep with her, marry her and have children. Giving up jing is the least you can do for her. 

Edited December 19, 2022 by Brad M

[freeform]

18 hours ago, MetaDao said:

they do not understand things as I do.

I guarantee that (all going well in your practice) you’ll look back at your current understandings and cringe a little - knowing how little you understood really…

 

Then 5 years after that - same thing - and so on for all the years you’ll have left on earth.

 

Knowledge, understanding - all that sort of thing will change - SHOULD change. It’s not really that important.

Edited December 20, 2022 by freeform

[MetaDao]

4 hours ago, freeform said:

I guarantee that (all going well in your practice) you’ll look back at your current understandings and cringe a little - knowing how little you understood really…

 

Then 5 years after that - same thing - and so on for all the years you’ll have left on earth.

 

Knowledge, understanding - all that sort of thing will change - SHOULD change. It’s not really that important.

Yep, I expect to cringe at my understandings. That’s okay  

 

That quote was taken out of context though. I simply meant that I do not want to get angry at people just because their understanding is different

 

Also, I would say that same rule applies to yourself, except you are even further into the process so you run the risk of stagnating.

 

A base level of understanding is important in being able to recognize the path and navigate finding a teacher. This is what I aim to provide people with my posts. If you spot errors, then please correct them

Edited December 20, 2022 by MetaDao

[Cobie]

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Edited December 21, 2022 by Cobie

[MetaDao]

Cringeworthy update:

 

I’ve been having sex with a partner for the past few weeks.
 

I have basically conquered my fear of underperforming or not being able to satisfy my partner. 
 

It already has started to feel quite underwhelming. It feels very animalistic and primal. The satisfaction and pleasure gained from it is all so temporary. Sure, you get to understand your own desires and insecurities more, but it doesn’t take too long to overcome them.

 

First, the insecurities surrounding your body. Not to hard to overcome with a trusting partner. Especially if your body is fairly healthy.

 

Secondly, for men, getting over the mental block of thinking you won’t last long enough in bed. I’ve certainly had times where I didn’t last too long but now I’ve learned the skill of lasting long enough to satisfy my partner. Something most men must overcome I think. There are solutions for it.

 

Thirdly, gaining the required skills to give your partner the orgasms necessary and working to understand their desires in the bedroom. Doesn’t take too long. Talking with your partner about your own desires and theirs, you come to a mutual understanding and work around this. 
 

All in all, I already feel much better about sex and have the confidence to perform whenever I need to. Now, I already feel like I could give it up fairly easily. Doesn’t bring me much. It’s more about making sure my partner is satisfied. Seems like the females get much more pleasure out of it than we do in my experience. 
 

When I am in the act, my animalistic desires rise to the surface. Most of the pleasure is in the act itself. The act of seeing a woman in pleasure enjoying themselves and knowing you are the one causing these effects. The pleasure of the act is much more than the climax. The climax just feels like a waste.
 

There goes my Yuan Jing! Now, I am tired and my practice has suffered a setback. At least the girl next to me is satisfied though. All in all, sex doesn’t really feel too great to me. Just a whole cluster fuck of insecurities, desires, traumas, ect.

Edited December 24, 2022 by MetaDao

[Wilhelm]

51 minutes ago, MetaDao said:

 

Congratulations man! (I think?  Lol not sure whether you're happy)

 

I wonder now if it's not such a big deal to you whether you'll notice any improvements in your energy levels 👀

 

FWIW I'm not doing anything esoteric with my partner, but when we got over the initial spike of desire I found sex to be an enjoyable but nonconsequential experience.  

 

If you're comfortable with the idea I found a useful thing is to bring her to satisfaction without letting yourself get there.  The body seems to retain the benefits of harmonisation pretty well then (though I don't do this every time!  I'd be a pent up prick by now haha).  I don't think it would work if you're not able to settle yourself down afterwards though.  Also this is just personal experience I don't have any science/theory behind it 🤷.  

Edited December 24, 2022 by Wilhelm

[MetaDao]

12 minutes ago, Wilhelm said:

Congratulations man! (I think?  Lol not sure whether you're happy)

 

I wonder now if it's not such a big deal to you whether you'll notice any improvements in your energy levels 👀

 

FWIW I'm not doing anything esoteric with my partner, but when we got over the initial spike of desire I found sex to be an enjoyable but nonconsequential experience.  

 

If you're comfortable with the idea I found a useful thing is to bring her to satisfaction without letting yourself get there.  The body seems to retain the benefits of harmonisation pretty well then (though I don't do this every time!  I'd be a pent up prick by now haha).  I don't think it would work if you're not able to settle yourself down afterwards though.  Also this is just personal experience I don't have any science/theory behind it 🤷.  

Sex is for sure enjoyable. But, to me, spiritual growth is way more import than sex.

 

Oh yeah, for sure, I’ve had sex without finishing a few times now. Just gotta learn how to take breaks, bring the energy back from the perineum to the Ming men, use the right condoms, ect. Switch positions. You can even get a spray which numbs the sensations on the dick if you never want to finish.

I’m sure it has harmonizing benefits. I am happy. I am simply sharing relatable experiences as they help others along the path. Even if it is years in the future. Sex is a vehicle for personal growth in a way.
 

I’d rather have sex 100 times over the next few months and conquer every internal insecurity and fear surrounding sex than to have it pop up later. 

Edited December 24, 2022 by MetaDao

[Wilhelm]

Just now, MetaDao said:

 

TMI 👀🤣🥷

[MetaDao]

1 minute ago, Wilhelm said:

TMI 👀🤣🥷

No such thing! I’m an anonymous ninja. 
 

We shouldn’t be ashamed of sex