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2ndchance

Western Parenting vs Eastern Parenting

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May I ask about the styles of Western Parenting vs Eastern Parenting of children and even pets?

 

From what I have researched so far, Eastern Parenting are too strict too regimented in the teaching and evolution of their children.

 

On the other hand, while Western Parenting are more lenient in their approach towards disciplining their children, from what I have researched, there is far less discipline in children growing up in the western world compared to children growing up in the eastern world.

 

As everyone on this board speak and write English, I am sure that the majority of Dao Bums are more familiar with Western Parenting, Western Education and children growing up in Western Worlds rather than the East.

 

I am also looking for movies or books or even TV dramas which portray stories of children's experiences growing up in the West.

 

How is this relevant to my Enlightenment?

 

Well, I understand that all children growing up in our samsaric world have undergone through a lot of abuse.

 

It takes eons of good karma to be reborn as His Holiness 41st Sakya Trizin's sons or grandsons.

 

Which forummer on this board has never secretly wished, in his or her subconscious, to be the blood son or blood daughter of the 41st Sakya Trizin's son or daughter? or even the blood son or blood daughter of the 14th Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso himself?

 

Of course, many Dao Bums would disagree with me on the choice of parent for himself or herself. Hey man, why would I want a major Buddhist Master as my blood parent? Seriously, 2ndchance, are you crazy? Why would you say that?

 

Well, to my understanding of things, it is a greatest boon to have spiritually enlightened human beings as your parents. Imagine how much more evolved spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even physically if you have a spiritually enlightened human parent who have guided you, instructed you, taught you, loved you, hated you, got so pissed off at you, cried with you, cried for you, become so frustrated with you, that he or she, as spiritually enlightened human parents, have really began to doubt their own spiritual enlightenment.

 

I do not know what kind of childhood environment which the sons and grandchildren of 41st Sakya Trizin have growing up. I am just speculating

 

But hey, isn't it obvious that their family has one of the best moral, spiritual, mental, emotional teachings in the world right from birth?

 

Not to mention the newly reborn H.H. Penor Rinpoche of the Nyingma tradition.

 

I am just saying, if you are a child growing up in a spiritual school, that would work so much more wonders towards your own spiritual evolution, emotional evolution, mental evolution that a child growing up in a family of unenlightened human beings, right?

 

I speak from personal experience. Me, myself, I and most of my friends and associates grow up in a family of unenlightened parents and sibling, so I understand how tough it is to face all your childhood trauma and wrongful brainwashed education in all educational systems throughout the world.

 

Seriously, what the crap can you truly learn in Universities, High Schools, Elementary Schools and such which can truly evolve you into a spiritually enlightened human being at the highest possible speed?

 

Unfortunately more than 99.999999999999999999999999999999% of all parents throughout the whole world are brainwashed into sending all their children into Universities to get a useless paper degree, get a job, get married, get a house or 10 houses depending on how hard you work, get one or two cars depending on how many car park spaces you have, create children, create children, create children, grow old, grow sick and die off in the end..

 

Why do the whole world want samsara?

 

Are You Happy With Samsara?

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So you'd rather children grow up to be jobless, homeless heathens living on the streets?

 

Unfortunately, being enlightened or having enlightened patents or ancestors does not pay the bills, fill your belly or keep a roof over your head.

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Posted (edited)

I think a good practice in spirituality is doing things we do not want to do, in order to face our fears and our attachments/aversions. 

 

Something like college could be the very thing a person needs. Not for the paper degree, but for the experience itself... the growing that it entails. 

 

I have heard monastery life is not so dissimilar... lots of chores, studying... a life of discipline. Doing stuff you probably don’t want to do. 

 

Maybe there’s some secret in that. Using the energy from such things to propel us forward. 

Edited by Fa Xin
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Posted (edited)

If I had kids here´s what I´d teach them: education first, job second, healthy relationships third, basic conventional happiness fourth....and then maybe...once they´d really nailed all those things ... enlightenment.  Would I be a western-style parent or what?

Edited by liminal_luke
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6 hours ago, 2ndchance said:

May I ask about

 

Your questions are almost never actual questions.

 

Try asking an actual question. One that you want an answer to. One you don’t have an answer to already.

 

You might actually get something from that. (Something more than just the answer to that question).

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12 hours ago, 2ndchance said:

Seriously, what the crap can you truly learn in Universities, High Schools, Elementary Schools and such which can truly evolve you into a spiritually enlightened human being at the highest possible speed?

 

Spirituality is just one part of life. In order to make progress in spirituality, after a certain point we need to have balance with the other parts of our life, and just be normal human beings.

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Posted (edited)

 I used to think like that and now that good house and 2 dogs would fit gooood :P , normalcy is better. Spirituality or whatever can't be used as an excuse for everything else. "i have nothing, but at least I can do this and that, and look how much power I have :rolleyes: oh, I have so much power like you can't even imagine"   

 

Do you people think you are more enlightened and holy than a soccer player who spends hours of their day in physical activity, or other functional and maybe fulfilled person of society because you do meditations? I don't know bro, IMO I'd say not. Unless you truly have the real power and all that...

 

Edited by King Jade
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Posted (edited)

Some people do not seem to have a clue about parenting. I broke my own rule the other day, rule was to just ignore the weird dynamic (but a VERY common one in my observations ) between my neighbours and their little girl . Mom doesnt seem to have clue how to handle kids. The other day she had this horrible, worn, pleading look - like she was at the end of her tether.  Its her own fault and I have tried to help with some advice . But people will do it their own way I suppose. 

 

Little girl is ; "I want  chocolate drink .... I want chocolate drink ... waaaah   ... waaah   arrrrgggh !  .... I want chocolate drink ... "  -

mother is trying to hold her and she is wiggling , convulsing yelling , pulling at her  .... fitting, nearly .   Yeah,  that look of total despair got me .

 

Father's contribution was,  " I get home from working all day , and  this  is what I have to deal with ! "  Great !  That helped a lot. So I offered; " Some guys have to get home from working all day, deal with this and then go off to 3nd job ! "  _ I dont think he 'appreciated' that.  Anyway, I offered to take her through it step by step.

 

" If you dont want her wiggling and screaming on you  dont allow it ... dont go all softy mummy and put up with things you do not want to . You threatened before  to put her in her room, well do it . "

 

" But she will just come out again. "

 

" Dont talk about the process in front of her ... step by step . "    - she puts kid in room - 'But she will just come out again '

 

" Yes, but you said you would put her in her room , not make her stay there . You cant lock  them in the room. They will just start smashing stuff or kicking the door. "   - Kid comes out '''' Waaah !    "  straight back on mum, pulling and wailing for an efin chocolate drink.  And she sits there putting up with it  !   Oi !   :rolleyes:  

 

Again - 'If you do  not want to put up with it tell her to stop, or you will put her in her room."  She does so, hesitantly  Same process, Mum says "See she did it again "   ... well of course she did , its gonna take a bit to unlearn all the other stuff she did learn about this . Then the kid  comes out again , distraught ... "I want a hug ... I want a hug "    Now mum doesnt know what to do.

 

" Do YOU want to give her a hug ... not a crying pulling wrestle, but a hug ? "

 

"Yeah, thats okay . "  So she starts having a hug and little girl slips in, in the sweetest way possible in her cutest voice  " Mummy ...... I want chocolate drink. "  And mum actually looks at me questioningly ! I shake head NO. ( as I previously discussed with mum and mum declared she was not having another one today .)  "No."     ( I add, to mum ... 'But you can have a hug' ) , Mum repeats it and it is ..

 

" Waaah !   I want ..... "   - right ! back in the room .  This time she stays in the room and cries ... her  tactics have broken down . Then it goes silent . After a bit I say to Mum ; " See "  ... and she  " What ?"

 

'Its stopped. " 

 

" Oh yeah ! "   Eventually she  comes out with a fairy dress on.

 

Me " Thats a nice dress ! Is it new ... you look like a fairy !  etc  "     ( for f sake , none of you retard parents mention chocolate !   :D )

 

She plays a bit , everything is cool ... mum starts to relax. The horrible look on her face starts to melt .   I explain a few things to both parents

 

" Consistency !; Reliability ! Honesty! Self respect and respect to her !   Your life and relationship with your kid will be so much better."

 

Mom is happy .... little girl is happy ...  but after a bit she goes up to Mum  " I want chocolate drink . "  and she calmly says , " No, you had enough today. "

 

The she goes to  Dad  " I want chocolate drink "

 

" Sure darling" and goes off to the kitchen and gets her one . "

 

Me ;  " Well, I better be going ... gotta make dinner . "

 

WTF !   Why do I bother !    Serves me right for breaking my non-interference rule !  

 

( I should add that I have a great relationship with this little girl, and I treat her like that all the time - no BS!  And she likes it !  It drives the dad a bit nuts -  she draws  these abstracts at pre-school and brings them home and tells them they are pictures of me    ....  Dad :  " Why dont I get pictures of me  ?  ! "

 

Why ?   Because you be the chocolate sugar daddy, she got around her finger !   :D 

 

Is that the eastern way, or the western way ?

 

I know some MID eastern kids seem to have no disciple  up to a certain stage - well, the boys, that is . Then it comes down like a steel gate at a certain age .

 

I saw it at the beach once ; little boy has a foam surfboard, faher is sitting talking to someone . Boy is donking him repeatedly on head with board ... donk ...... donk ..... donk  ....   eventually father   " Stop it !  Thats enough ! "

 

Kid   " Waaaah  .... WAAAAH !  AHHHHHH ...   one more time .... one more time  " 

 

Father ; " Oh, all right then ... one more . "

 

You could see the kid winding up for one last super big shot    :D     and   WHAM !

 

 Father explodes in  Lebanese expletives screaming at the kid  and is holding his head with both hands     :D

 

Oh yeah .... and I am one of the forumers  that DO NOT want to have the D L or  some 'enlightened' master as  parent .

 

 

 

 

Edited by Nungali
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You are comparing enlightenment to a degree that you can get in school. :D

 

We all want it to be that way don't we? Can I just get it, and it's mine forever, ok?  :blush:

 

Enlightenment is evermore. You are evermore going to become evermore enlightened.

 

99.99999999999% 

99.999999999999999999999999%

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

 

Just be easy on yourself. There is no rush, you're not here to get anything done. Because you cannot get ever wrong, and you will never ever get it done! All the more joy to you.

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