Tao men attracting women.

[Birch]

As for the other points - they are largely dependent upon social norms.

 

 

I consider the strength of such norms in the face of my own wishes. It's about being a good tourist.

You sound slightly arrogant to me but if it works for you then great

If it also works for your GF then it's all cool.

[Mal]

Taoism is ultimately about doing what works naturally. And that is actually what PUA reverse-engineers - field-tested evo-psych. IOW, giving women what they are hardwired to want from eons of evolution - not what the latest societal fad or using your parents as role models might tell you they're "supposed" to want.

 

Cool post I basically feel this way.

 

Good question, but how do you "maturely" deal with "immature" women? If you maintain your maturity level, you'll repel them. If you sink to their level, now you're no longer mature.

 

Well I'm starting to find the hot young backpackers not really attractive anymore Superficially they still look very sexy, but the conversation and their interests are just not what I'm into anymore. Basically what I want isn't what they have, starting to prefer a bit more life experience. Probably a good thing as I'm getting a bit old to hit on the young ones anyhow

 

Also agree with the poster about building up your energy. People can feel it and will want to interact. Just be yourself, find out about them. Basically have fun.

[~jK~]

[de_paradise]

 

The Brits built the airport so that, to land, planes had to fly about 50 meters over the rooftops of Kowloon City. I landed there in 1997 in one of the last flights to the airport in the folowing video.

 

I really miss Kai Tak airport, like the plane belly flops into the middle of a city. I also miss the noodle shop on Hanoi Rd. that went out of business or moved.

[Marblehead]

I've watched the military come to Hong Kong - they leave the ships in little groups and never leave their security blanket.

 

Without the feeling of a need to defend myself, I will say that I was NOT the typical service man. I almost never went anywhere in a group - I always went on my own - I was at the mercy of the people I was interacting with. And I never had a problem!

 

(Well, I did have my shoes stolen once when I was visiting a lady in Korea but that's a different story.)

 

Peace & Love!

[Marblehead]

... as I'm getting a bit old to hit on the young ones anyhow

 

WoW!!! Do I ever know about that!!!

 

 

Peace & Love!

[Marblehead]

[Marblehead]

I really miss Kai Tak airport, like the plane belly flops into the middle of a city. I also miss the noodle shop on Hanoi Rd. that went out of business or moved.

 

I miss my beautiful, peaceful valley in the foothills of the Alps in Northern Italy.

 

Yes, there were ladies I managed to attract.

 

Peace & Love!

[Everything]

Good question, but how do you "maturely" deal with "immature" women? If you maintain your maturity level, you'll repel them. If you sink to their level, now you're no longer mature. Hence, a lot of the ancient Taoists retreated into seclusion away from women as hermits..

 

I think this is what a lot of men today, particularly "spiritual-minded" men - struggle with.Taoism is ultimately about doing what works naturally. And that is actually what PUA reverse-engineers - field-tested evo-psych. IOW, giving women what they are hardwired to want from eons of evolution - not what the latest societal fad or using your parents as role models might tell you they're "supposed" to want.

 

Think of women as sports recruiters. They ultimately just want the best player (no pun intended) on their team to help them win. So long as the dude is not an ax murderer, how "nice" he is or not is irrelevant. Players are primarily recruited based upon the specific needs of each woman and what each player offers to fulfill those needs. Basically, it's like applying for a job...unless you have more to offer than they do - in which case they become the ones applying for the job with you, now the employer (see Tiger Woods).

 

"Taoism is ultimately doing what is natural." If you tell that to the avarage naive nice guy who is insecure, he will isolate him self into his comfort zone for ever. Can you explain it with more detail?

 

And yeah, you talk about how to attract women. Truth is, the field is a very harsh environment, childish, very competetive. This is not something I see a Taoist do easily. Still it is a very important aspect in life in the eyes of many man. They want a fullfilled live in the end. One can actually grow high character and have a purpose in life, but they probably might lack inspiration from women, or lack the ability to attract them and thus not feel fullfilled. They want the ability to attract women, this will increase their masculinity to complete the equation. Even if that means going out there and putting value on status, overvalue possessions. They will create friends to increase status. All about status. This goes against the philosophy of Tao. Thats why I wonder if Taoist actually isolate themselves from women alltogether, or do they have a way of attracting women that goes against biology/evolution perhaps? Or is there some hidden paradox here that not giving value to status you will receive status or something?

 

I am seeking for a deeper meaning of the Tao inside the world of PickUpArtists as you guys call them. In the end, the way people practice the venusian arts will change.

 

When you grow you will learn new things from the same lessons, over and over again. This is about maturity. And it is a rule to have relationships with those who have the same maturity level as you. Otherwise it will get boring or you'll become the father/mother fogigure in the relationship.

Edited April 16, 2010 by Everything

[Mal]

Most guys just pal around with their friends or workmates. Some will have a girlfriend and they also have a circle of female friends. The group starts doing things together, paring up. They start to get married, so there are weddings to go to. People will start setting up unattached friends. Kids start arriving, families are formed..

 

It just happens naturally

 

Of course people usually want a partner, but their focus is on living, the rest just happens while you are doing it. That is how your "average naive nice guy who is insecure, isolated and in his comfort zone" ends up married with 2.5 kids

 

I'm typing this, listening to my partner snore, and also to the party-goers coming home from the tavern up the road. Clubs and pubs are a different sort of environment. If you want to go hunting there you need a different skill set from the "average nice guy" if you want to stand out from the competition and perform above average. And honestly you tend not to meet your "average nice girl" in that sort of environment without a network of friends to break the ice with them. Just like guys that perform well in a club setting, because they have skills that work well there. There are also girls that are in that setting because they are attracted to those sort of skills. If can be easier to hook them as it's basically what they are expecting.

 

Some people naturally enjoy that, some people want to learn how to do it too, others just enjoy siting on the balcony relaxing in their comfort zone....... but I met a really cool girl here at Tai Chi and I might tag along to the meditation she goes to after the next class.

 

Sometimes it's just fun to spend time with interesting people. Being on holidays in a tourist town makes it just so easy to start conversations and find out about other people. Making friends is fun. I could see a guy at the surf school I went to this week was pretty quiet, turns out he was from Sweden and traveling around Aus before his brothers wedding. Just an average nice guy whose girlfriend was flying out to meet him in a few weeks for the wedding

[JohnC]

Hi, all.

 

Perhaps not everyone here is so advanced on the philosophy of Tao Te Ching. There is one important thing I did not read about in Tao Te Ching by Dr. Wayne Dyer (Change your thoughts, change your life: Living the wisdom of the Tao).

 

And this is a topic for men, because the equation of women differs from men according to Mind OS by Dr. Paul Dobransky.

 

For men it is "mission in life + skill in attracting women = masculinity". This is quantum psychology or something. I'm not here to discuss that.

 

In Tao Te Ching I did find clues to transform your desires for women into inspiration. This could lead to a better skill at attracting women. And I read a line that said something like "By not displying what is desirable, you cause the hearts of men to remain undisturbed." And my self living among many muslims, I think this points out why alot of muslim men prefer women would wear those headscarfs. Ofcourse this isn't the place to talk about muslim philosophy, but I was curious wether or not Tao has got the same idea I just gave about the feminity or another desire. I never thought that "not displaying" it would bring peace. But I have found many elders who prefer that their desires be not displayed. I can't find alot of mature men or elders to mentor me about how to deal with women in a mature way. I can find alot of men who can teach me the skill of attraction. Thats why I made this topic to ask how Taoist look at this, to gain a new perspective.

 

If this topic offends females or males here in anyway, please know that I am just referring to survival and replication value. The 2 purposes of our live according to biology/evolution is survival and replication. Erik von Markovik said you can see survival and replication as two ends of a spectrum. One should find balance between the 2. This is also similar to the philosophy Bruce Lee talks about in his many interviews.

Martial Arts = survival value

Venusian Arts = replication value.

 

So... How would Lao Tsu deal with women?

 

After spending 6 years in the pickup community, knowing most of the guys that teach it, I would tell you that most of those guys teach things that are assumed, or based on their world view that is skewed by their biases and own attachments.

 

And that most of them don't really know what they are talking about, but are teaching as if they do.

 

Furthermore the whole biology/evolution information is largely useless. It's all just debate food, or ways to confirm or deny your way of seeing things.

All that really matters is how you are with women and your way of being. How attached you are to things, or how free(childlike) you are.

 

I think Laotzu would tell you to focus on 'inner game', to relax, have fun, pay attention and learn.

 

And he would probably say it in a crazy cryptic and profound way.

 

John

[三江源]

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Edited April 6, 2015 by 三江源

[Birch]

Interesting posts!

 

I had some other thoughts:

 

- Maybe the "relationship" some of these guys are looking for is actually an "old-school" "man=head of the household" "controls the family" kind of deal. In some worlds, this might be out of synch with social and economic reality.

 

- Maybe some of these guys get their sense of "manhood" from too many outside things (including the job, the car, the trophy girl - or multitude of them;-)?) - what happens to him if he loses some of those things?

 

The more people I meet, the more it keeps boiling down to individual exchange. I'm sure Taoist practices help better than trying to script lines for a club/bar.

[gendao]

- Maybe the "relationship" some of these guys are looking for is actually an "old-school" "man=head of the household" "controls the family" kind of deal. In some worlds, this might be out of synch with social and economic reality.

 

- Maybe some of these guys get their sense of "manhood" from too many outside things (including the job, the car, the trophy girl - or multitude of them;-)?) - what happens to him if he loses some of those things?

Right, well these points have already all been covered by PUA..

 

Essentially, with the advent of feminism & welfare...women no longer "need" Beta male providers. That function has been supplanted by their own incomes or taxpayer-funded social welfare programs (WIC/TANF). Of which liberals keep passing more and more (Pelosicare) as Beta males get artificially legislated further into forced slavery for Alphas & their groupies.

Currently, WIC serves 45% of all infants born in the US.

As a result, most men can no longer use material "bait" and financial leverage as "crutches" to attract women anymore.

 

So, what do most Beta males have left? If they don't have looks, talent or loads of charm...they pretty much got nothing. Hence, the PUA movement arose from the grassroots to compensate for this lack.

 

Because now, the only thing women still really NEED men for is reproduction. However, a man's income & character traits are generally deemed irrelevant for this purpose. In fact, a quick look at the most successful chick magnets will reveal that they generally treat women like disposable children, not mature adults. And these women don't care as long as their sperm donors possess the genetic traits she desires in her offspring.

(Unless a woman does not want anymore children - THEN she may seek a stable Beta provider only to take care of her and cuckold any kids she already has. Which is why many of these same women don't start dating Beta males until they are effectively done breeding with Alphas.)

 

Sexual status is thus what really makes or breaks men now. Which is why PUAs all strive to transform themselves from Betas to Alphas. Which is the real status & dichotomy here - Beta Vs Alpha.

Edited April 16, 2010 by vortex

[三江源]

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Edited April 6, 2015 by 三江源

[Birch]

Vortex, I found your post essentially disturbing. Do you mean that the "beta" guys just basically have nowhere else to go? Are they definitively whipped by their "elders and betters" (read "authorities")? I read it that way, anyway.

 

I didn't "get" the picture, the couple looked kind of beat to me. Not really folks I'd like to spend time with...

 

I'm starting to find myself getting limited when imagining big dividing traits all over the sociological vs psychological vs polarities. For me they all bleed into each other, back and forth.

 

Cat and other women on TTB's have mentioned how "male" our current society is (assuming we all live in similar ones at that) and I can see the point and yet I don't equate "male" with "fucked up, greedy and unsustainable" which is really more what it all seems to be to me.

[三江源]

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Edited April 6, 2015 by 三江源

[Birch]

 

When you refer to women losing touch with their feminine side, I take that to mean their true yin/femininity? The ultra feminine woman, with the makeup, hair, high heels, acting like a pillow queen, is somehow false in their femininity.

 

Your thoughts, cat and kate?

 

 

Rainbow_vein. This is a really critical question IMO. I guess that it is up to the man I'm sitting across from to decide how "feminine" I am, and vice-versa, for me to decide how "masculine" I feel he is.

 

For me, "yang" feels like a warm sunny day, a happy smile, a sense of humour, an open heart, a sharp intellect and a solid body that can keep it together;-)

 

The portrait you painted above of the "ultra feminine" is interesting, because it is so contrived, kind like the "metrosexual" but a female version. The "metrosexual" to me is anything BUT "masculine"

 

IMO, worrying oneself about the state of one's femininity or masculinity per how it's "glorified" today is a false path. Ever see some of those Rubens portraits? (http://home.scarlet.be/~tpm77885/images/Rubens.jpg) In some cultures, if you are not "fat enough" then you are considered unattractive to men. The hypothetical blond chick wouldn't stand a chance