Yuen Biao Posted September 17, 2009 I'll be honest with you as I think it will help me through the next ten days. Firstly my Girlfriend is away on business for the next ten days and I am trying to abstain from physical orgasm. The problem is when I am on my own and bored I do have those urges to sit and play with myself for literally hours. I somehow think that because I'm well-hung(!) makes it even worse as I'm more aware of it - does anyone else feel like that? [embarrassed emoticon] Problem is with her not being here I am more likely to have an orgasm so does anyone have any advice? Secondly we have just returned from a holiday which featured us having lots of sex and drinking regularly so as to yet I have not drunk for a week or as yet had an orgasm. I know to pre-occupy oneself is always good but it's not always possible. I do train regularly in Zhan Zhuang/Taijiquan etc but at times when by myself I find that can heighten sexual desire. Sorry for the waffle Namaste Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
goldisheavy Posted September 17, 2009 Don't try to fight nature too much. It's possible to sublimate sexual desire to some extent, and maybe with time, 100%. However, if you are responsible (like, don't make babies you cannot support, don't hurt people's feelings if you don't have to, etc.), sexual activity is healthy. If you obsess about your sexuality you'll be worse off than a guy who jacks off once a day and then forgets about it. You may avoid jacking off for these 10 days, but your mind is busy with sex 100% of the time -- how is that better? This is the danger with extremism. There is a famous Zen koan about a Zen monk helping to carry a woman over the pond or some such... When two friend monks get back to the monastery, one monk tells another, "you're not supposed to touch a woman, do you know that?" The other says, "I put her down by the pond; why are you still carrying her?" That's an important point. Don't be a dogmatic extremist. Enjoy life. Relax. If you want to work on sublimating sexual desire, you can work on it -- but do it naturally and reasonably. Don't try to jump over your own knees! Don't try to become perfect on day one either. That's my thinking on the topic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aetherous Posted September 17, 2009 You may avoid jacking off for these 10 days, but your mind is busy with sex 100% of the time -- how is that better? I completely agree. Also, you're doomed to fail if you start out the 10 days with apprehension. You're most likely going to succeed if you start out with tons of plans to keep yourself occupied all day long. It can be really good sometimes, to be disciplined and overcome something...but it's bad if you find that you can't overcome it. It's not good to fail. If that's the case, you might as well not even try, and just relax and enjoy life. Because stressing so much about it is actually a bigger waste of jing, than if you were to have sex/masturbate and be carefree. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andrei Posted September 18, 2009 Eat tofu and drink soy milk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DalTheJigsaw123 Posted September 18, 2009 Don't try to fight nature too much. It's possible to sublimate sexual desire to some extent, and maybe with time, 100%. However, if you are responsible (like, don't make babies you cannot support, don't hurt people's feelings if you don't have to, etc.), sexual activity is healthy. If you obsess about your sexuality you'll be worse off than a guy who jacks off once a day and then forgets about it. You may avoid jacking off for these 10 days, but your mind is busy with sex 100% of the time -- how is that better? This is the danger with extremism. There is a famous Zen koan about a Zen monk helping to carry a woman over the pond or some such... When two friend monks get back to the monastery, one monk tells another, "you're not supposed to touch a woman, do you know that?" The other says, "I put her down by the pond; why are you still carrying her?" That's an important point. Don't be a dogmatic extremist. Enjoy life. Relax. If you want to work on sublimating sexual desire, you can work on it -- but do it naturally and reasonably. Don't try to jump over your own knees! Don't try to become perfect on day one either. That's my thinking on the topic. Very good advice! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mal Posted September 19, 2009 Firstly my Girlfriend is away on business for the next ten days and I am trying to abstain from physical orgasm. Secondly we have just returned from a holiday which featured us having lots of sex and drinking regularly so as to yet I have not drunk for a week or as yet had an orgasm. When you indulge so much you feel sated, control is easy When you do want more and repress, control is hard. If she feels the same, perhaps phone sex? Distance need not be a barrier Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
awake Posted September 19, 2009 (edited) I'm 18 and its been 20 or so days since I've done it, and I only think about it when I'm reminded of it.. It has made me more focussed on my goals, confident since its a goal I'm achieving (30 days for now) and also more attracted to the opposite sex. Like you said, you get the urges when you have nothing better to do. So find something better to do. What's wrong with meditating, or controlling your feelings, discovering what's inside you? Its chemicals made by your body that make you feel good (even when you take drugs, all they do is trigger chemicals that your brain already produces), so go explore that.. Try to feel more happy, notice it's easy.. And if you can feel a little happier, then it stands to reason that you can feel twice as happy! Then twice as happy again! Or joyous, or peaceful, or loving, whatever it is! TRY IT! I don't know how old you are, but I say just man the fuck up, don't be suffering because of it, and ravage your wife when she gets home - she'll probably appreciate it more than "Hi.... Honey..... You wanna have sex?" vs "ROARRR, ME MAN, YOU TIRED NOW? WAIT UNTIL AFTER! AHAHAHAHA!!!!" If you really have so little control over yourself, just do it, whatever. Good luck on your goals if you can't even not touch yourself for 10 days. If you really want to but can't, the answer is simple. Just don't fucking start. Don't open the porn site, don't go find that magazine, whatever it is for you. It's much easier just to nip the desire in the bud than to say "oh I'll just look for a little bit" which is totally lying to yourself. You know why you want to "look for a little bit" its to find something to make you want to look for more, then more, then more, until you've finished and start thinking, damn, I wanted to be fresh for my wife now I've got 1 day less of desire that I can pump her full of. Honestly, it comes down to, a hand vs. a person. If you can't make that decision, then, well, you don't deserve the right choice anyway. Good luck. Edited September 19, 2009 by awake Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NeiChuan Posted September 19, 2009 Go to a friends.. Your not going to flog the dolphin at a friends (I hope not anyway). Secondly just abstain from pornography and pass the first 2 - 3 days or so and you should be fine =/. If not that just do something lol, Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Trunk Posted September 19, 2009 Firstly my Girlfriend is away on business for the next ten days and I am trying to abstain from physical orgasm. Related topic, post #11. I find that sometimes when I do acupressure, that desire will recede for a while. More so with an extensive treatment on channels that clear heat (as above), but even some when doing something as simple as thumb-twiddling the little orbit's acupoints. p.s. If you want a free convenient internet filter that requires no software: OpenDNS.com. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
