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Hello you bums, I wanted to give some perspective on a discussion about chi gong+weight lifting and found myself having to make a post upon inscription in order to do so... So Here it is... As a mean of introduction: "I have been in and out of regular practice and study of various internal arts because I would gather as much informations and practice in a state of want and need really striving, trying to apply everything I found at the same time (which was mentally exhausting and far from relaxing) and being harsh on myself, probably because I wouldn't cope with the "almighty perfect unreachable master-worthless piece of sh** student" relationship (like it was a question of motivation or being worth anything) But lately I have been blessed to connect a lot of dots in many aspects of my perspective on life and the way I approach it, which got my practice to make a lot more sense right away." First of all, I am my own master, in the sense that during practice I have control over my thoughts and "things" don't just happened to me like in a victim state. So if a form or a move (and it's said results) seems unreachable, and you have a thought like "It will take me years to be able to..." or "I don't have the patience for this..." simply just "think" another thought that at least sets you on a more positive outlook towards the practice (And since you are you're own master, you'll know which one it should be). Then see as the tension in your body just release as you discard those unproductive thoughts giving you more space and setting you back on the ease of the practice. Also in the process of having a regular practice also discard the thought that "you need a great master" or "today I can't because I'm tired and other obstructing thoughts" by saying/thinking something like "it is accessible to me just like those masters are human being" or "I'm practising now, period" and once again feel those tension go in the sense of like a muscle contracted that you intentionally release you let go of the bad thought and it's associated tension inside. And you'll just see yourself being able to resume or start practice very easily. Once you're set you'll be able to be back in the letting go of the practice (because you've also said/thought "I am letting go" ^^) So it is your choice Either Apply or Deny it Second of all, It is really not "that deep" or "that far away" from you but many masters and teacher will tend to try and keep you in the dark or in that "master above disciple below" relationship, because they may live of your fees or enjoy the treatment and respect they get out of it or really don't believe in your infinite potential or also some may see you as unworthy or from the wrong nationality or are bad judges of people and on and on... Look around the people around you in the room following the class and be honest with yourself, do they look like empowered people in charge of their life radiating a quiet but steady energy or do they seem like jumpy insecure low self esteem awkward anxious people and you'll get a feel of what fruits bears that master. Some will say "yes but some people need that type of relationship, the master as a higher purpose..." it simply is not true but will be hard to admit or to come to terms with it if you've invested a lot of money and time with one master/teacher (the ego works like that) so simply discard this stagnating pride since YOU are you're own master, yes even above ego And third of all, the 70% rule I've heard "Bruce Frantzis" say. Don't go full extension, full contraction, full range in any motion keep some cards under your sleeve or some slack and see how your muscles & tendons find the inspiration to go where that "full extension would have found you" on your second repetition only with still some cards under your sleeve meaning you are still going 70%. By the way master "Bruce Frantzis" a great teacher with lot's of experience and knowledge also guilty of self explanatory great pride (you'll be pressed to see him crack a smile that's not a private joke) Yet let's not throw the baby with the bath water if you find yourself learning with him because he does have a lot to give. Plus he seems more and more joyfull in his late years. That's it, hope it will benefit somebody Have a nice day Bums
grabmywrist4 posted a topic in General DiscussionI have had this problem for so many years. I have been to monks, I have been to teachers, I have seen my guru many times, nothing ever, ever, permanently fixes this problem. When I meditate, energy moves into my head, it builds into a giant ball of pressure, and then anger, delusion, confusion, and insanity start to arise as a result. For years I have tried to fix it, I have been taught so many techniques to fix it, nothing fixes this problem. When the pressure builds up in my head, it starts to hurt my heart and lungs below. I have felt like I was going to have a heart attack before. Every morning I wake up, there it is, the big ball of pressure stuck in my head, i meditate, it gets worse and worse. Everyday is another day of suffering and misery. Horrible horrible emotions constantly arising day after day due to this energy being stuck in my head. Is there anyone in this world that knows how to fix this problem? I haven't met one yet :\
I've been participating on the various forums for many years. As I was reading a yet another sectarian exchange on TTB, I started to reflect on sectarianism. I think I have come to a new understanding. I'm an independent thinker and practitioner, but as far as traditions go, I've spent most of my time with the Buddhist doctrine. I also seriously love Daoism. I love the three classics, Daodejing, Zhuangzi, and Liezi. However, it would be a mistake to call my affection for Daoism purely a philosophical one, unless we use the ancient definition of philosophy as the love of wisdom. Beyond that I've read something from almost every tradition on this planet, and I found many interesting things here and there. In all this time I realized I actually don't give a crap about Buddhism, Daoism, or any other tradition. What I want is to understand myself and to grow my personal power, because I am tired of being a human being. I think that in some sense the differences between the traditions are quite valuable and these differences should be preserved for posterity, because it is these different angles that helped to illuminate my own being for me, and if this benefit occurred to me, surely it can occur to someone else as well. It's like placing a variety of mirrors around my body to see what it looks like from different angles. Each mirror only helps, and in the end, I have to be the one doing the looking and the understanding, and I am the ultimate judge of quality and authenticity, and thus, I am the ultimate authority. This puts all the responsibility and burden for my own spiritual development on me. If something goes wrong, I can't blame some Guru. It's all on me from now on and forever. However, if I do succeed, there is no credit to any Guru. No blame, and no credit. That's what happens when a person takes complete responsibility. If there are any Gurus out there who want to take credit for anything that happens to other people, please, be prepared to take blame when things go wrong, and they will. It's not normal for beings to behave as I do. I have internalized all authority and authenticity. I do not seek confirmation, validation, approval. I am not a normal being. A sense of belonging, that warm feeling of being in a cozy and cool club, such sentiments mean nothing to me. Before, people who belonged to quasi-secret clubs really used to piss me off. Now that anger is gone, and I just see them as pathetic stragglers, desperate to fill the gap in their hearts with a sense of belonging, and they get this sense by excluding others, and by differentiating themselves. They define what their turf is, and then they protect it. It's a bonding exercise. And here's what else I see. I see people who think that their own minds are worthless, incapable, and not worthy of trust, which in one word can be called insecurity. These people operate under assumptions of externalized authority and authenticity. Externalized authenticity means that if some spiritual experience or a realization happens, you are not allowed to claim it for yourself and you're not allowed to regard it as something genuine. You must go to some external source of authenticity, usually some Guru, and confirm your understanding, experience, and whatever else. Everything new in your life needs a stamp of approval. Without this stamp of approval you feel like you're nothing, worthless. It's the Guru's stamp, and the belonging to the lineage that confers wealth, status, legitimacy, everything. And if your lineage is criticized, you must defend it as if were your life on the line, because your identity is completely dependent on it. Without your Guru's stamp of approval, you're nothing. If your Guru's image is tarnished by some sectarians, you must defend your Guru, or else his stamp will lose its social value. And so you must become a sectarian yourself to fight off other sectarians all in an effort to protect yourself. If only any of you could understand how lordly and glorious my being is right now. How free and easy. How far away I am from all such meaningless and petty hassle. And all that is thanks to my spontaneous decision to take up deity yoga, where I conceive of myself as a deity. Soon after I'd done that, authority and authenticity were internalized. Old challenges were solved. Now I face new and interesting challenges instead of petty bullshit like before. I became a deity without permission, and as soon as I'd done that I've realized in fact it's the only way to become a deity. Had I asked permission in the form of an empowerment, I'd fail to actualize my current state, because I'd still be externalizing authority and authenticity. When most of the people take up deity yoga like I have, and I invite you all to take it up, sectarianism will become irrelevant. Imagine whatever highest achievements and accomplishments. When they happen, where and how do they happen? Can you see it? They happen in the space of your subjective experience. The word "subjective" is very important here. And they happen as a result of what? Do you think achievement happens as a result of understanding a doctrine, or a lineage, or a set of practices? Of course not! Achievement happens as a result of you understanding yourself! In fact, if you understood all the doctrines incorrectly, and you've performed all the practices wrongly, but you've managed to understand yourself in the process, congratulations, because you've become lordly and glorious, a field of merit worthy of offerings, a joyous one, one beyond limitations, a dancer of illusion, a happy lunatic. If you let anyone be the judge of whether or not you understand yourself correctly, you'll be in a world of pain. This is why fighting against subjectivity is a grave error. Instead, you should embrace yourselves 100%, even though you know full well that your way is not the only way. Taking this attitude you will be on a straight and narrow path toward all the mysteries and sectarianism will be over. May it be so.